


sticky notes and champagne

by thefullergirl



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: CEO!Jaehyun, Celebrity Crush, Dating, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, House Party, Jungwoo and Doyoung are tired of shit, M/M, Mark and Taeyong are their babies, Music producer!Taeyong, Personal assistant!Doyoung, Personal assistant!Jungwoo, Pining, Slow Burn, idol!mark, implied depression, jaeyong at the beginning, model!lucas, rich and famous, very slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 94,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23788072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefullergirl/pseuds/thefullergirl
Summary: Jungwoo has truly seen it all, and he can prove it by the sheer number of contracts he’s signed. No reality show in the universe could even come close to showing the shit he’s seen. So when he becomes the personal assistant of one of the biggest idols of the country, he’s thrown a little off balance. Mark is a mess sometimes, but Jungwoo has dealt with worse. Doesn’t help either that the guy has a very attractive friend, one that Jungwoo doesn’t automatically detest.For the first time in his life, Jungwoo might actually have something new to explore.One of Doyoung's many PA talents is knowing even before they say anything, which is why he figures out Taeyong is interested in that young CEO they meet at a shoot. Understandable, Doyoung thinks. The CEO is quiet, but holds power in his shoulders like he was born with it.Problem is, the more Doyoung tries to set them up, the more the hot, young CEO is starting to look cute in his eyes too.In his 10 plus years of doing this, Doyoung has never not known what to do.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 156
Kudos: 515





	1. good morning to you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first nct fic! got this idea bc i watched [this asmr video of a celebrity personal assistant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA14MEfEFpQ) and thought hey, what if i write a fic about celebrity PAs?

**Jungwoo** **  
** **10:15am, Myeongdong**

“You’ll like him,” Ten tells him, sipping on his oddly green drink. “He’s not a bitch, or anything.”

Jungwoo chuckles, taking another spoonful of his couscous salad. “Thanks for the info. I’ll tell you my opinion of him after a week.”

Stirring his drink with the straw, Ten looks at him thoughtfully. “I’m serious. He’s probably the only idol I’ve handled whose personality was like how he was in their reality shows. The guy was so nice I thought one of his cooks gave me some sorta drugs the whole time.”

“Fine, fine,” Jungwoo says. He makes a mental note to look up the guy after their brunch. “Why’d you leave him if he’s so nice, anyways?”

Ten laces his fingers together and rests his chin on them, smiling softly at Jungwoo. “I didn’t _want_ to, at first. It was his idea, really.”

At Jungwoo’s raised brow, Ten continues. “He found out about how much I liked dancing after I accompanied him to his choreography practices. Said that talent like mine shouldn’t be wasted on me just being his P.A.”

Ten _is_ talented, and nearly everyone around him knew it. He moved like a dream, even when he was just walking. Jungwoo had always wondered why he didn’t quit his job after becoming financially stable enough. 

Not that Jungwoo had any say in the matter, as he could have easily done that as well. Something about the job drew him in, even as nothing he’s ever experienced would be able to prepare him for whatever new horrors he’ll encounter with every new client he has. It was a sense of control over things, maybe, plus the satisfaction of a job well done.

Which is why the two month-long break he took from being an assistant felt like an eternity. He itched to do something, _anything_ , that he even dared to ask his friends if they needed something done. It’s ingrained in him now, he realizes.

For Ten to break that habit and do something he actually liked doing, Jungwoo didn’t really know how yet. In fact, Jungwoo doesn’t know if he _likes_ anything apart from what he’s programmed into himself.

Ten’s fingers rake through his long, honey-blonde hair. “He started talking to those choreographers that he knew, and practically marketed me to them. It was a wild few weeks, honestly. Next thing I knew I was training under them, and Mark officially ‘fired’ me as his P.A.”

Jungwoo hums, taking the information in. “And I’m only knowing this now?”

Laughing, Ten says, “Honey, it ain’t my fault you got stranded in the middle of the ocean and got your phone eaten by a fish.”

Ugh. That trip made Jungwoo never want to go out into open water ever again, even if it meant being on a yacht. At the topic being brought up, he feels the waves that hit his body as he was looking for that stupid diamond necklace amongst the slimy seaweed. 

“We don’t talk about that anymore.”

Ten laughs again, finishing the last of his drink. “Mark is stubborn about getting help with stuff. He says he can do it on his own, but two weeks after getting rid of me as his P.A., I learn he’s lost his keys five times and almost gave away his phone number while he was on Vlive.”

Jungwoo winces a little. “And that’s when you recommended me.”

His friend nods. “I would’ve gone back if I could, hun. They pay isn’t really the highest I’ve gotten, but he made up for it by not being a fucking monster. That’s worth it, if you ask me.”

It _does_ sound as good an offer as any, and Jungwoo wasn’t one to turn down a potential client that Ten is practically selling to him. He’s been through more horrors than most anyone he’s known, so he trusts him when he says this one is actually nice.

Jungwoo hasn’t handled a nice one in so long.

“You’ve emailed me his contact details already, right?” Jungwoo asks, unlocking his phone to look at his email before Ten could answer.

“And his address. He’d prefer to meet over there, says he gets nervous when it’s at his company. His manager will be there, but she’s chill.”

Nodding, Jungwoo makes a mental note of that. He opens his email to find Ten’s at the top, big bold letters saying **For reference!**

“Plus, you know, usual stuff,” Ten says carefully, looking up at Jungwoo. _Usual stuff_ meant all of Mark’s other information, anything that Jungwoo needed to know about him and be used for literally everything. “I was cleared to give it to you, since they need you to start right away.”

Jungwoo sips at his mimosa. According to his quick research the night before, Mark was set to have a comeback within the month with his group. Undoubtedly, he would be extremely busy with the preparations and then going to all the music shows after. They couldn’t afford mistakes or delays right now.

“Okay then,” he says, taking a deep breath. He raises his near-empty glass, toasting. “Here’s to me being back.”

He never thought he’d be excited to be back in the hellscape, but here he is.

Ten smiles at him, clinking his water glass against his. He of all people would understand best what Jungwoo feels about being back.

“The world’s happy to have you back, honey.”

**Doyoung** **  
** **6:43am, New York City**

Gently, he sets down the coffee on the bedside table, turning it _just so_ to make sure the opening was facing the hotel bed. He pads softly over to the thermostat, dropping the temperature by two degrees. One last time, he adjusts the custom slippers by the bed so they were aligned perfectly, before taking out the freshly laundered bathrobe and hanging it near the closet.

Doyoung takes a seat in one of the armchairs in the room, placing his iPad in his lap and scrolling through the day’s schedule. He moved around a few points, scribbling notes. 

He takes out his phone, quickly typing out some messages and making a few calls. Doyoung guesses that he might have to reschedule the fitting for tomorrow as well, so he makes that call too, moving it around in his planner.

“Yes, the wine has to be _at least_ a 1985 vintage, otherwise don’t even bother,” Doyoung says into the phone, pinching his bridge of his nose. “Chilled to exactly 10 degrees. I’ll call again later.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Doyoung sees movement from the bed. Quietly, he sets down his tablet and pockets his phone, walking over to the sleepy figure amongst the sheets.

Taeyong sits up, taking off his sleep mask and rubbing at his eyes. Doyoung makes quick work of pulling the covers back, then getting a pillow to prop up Taeyong’s ankles. Gently, he takes off the sleep mask and sets it down on the table, holding his hand out for the earplugs that Taeyong always wears to sleep.

Once he seems mostly coherent, Doyoung hands him his coffee. “Good morning,” he greets softly, fluffing the pillow at Taeyong’s back. “Did you sleep well?”

Nodding, Taeyong holds the tiny cup of coffee in both hands and takes a sip. He looks blankly at the wall for a second before turning to face Doyoung. “How long was I out?”

“About 14 hours,” Doyoung answers, setting Taeyong’s glasses and phone on the bed beside him. “Pretty much as soon as we arrived here.”

Scrunching up his face, Taeyong looks down at himself. He’s dressed in his new light blue pajamas, bought a day before this trip. There’s a question in his features, and Doyoung has an answer, as always.

“I changed you out of your airport clothes and into those. Couldn’t have you waking up in your jeans and bulky jacket.” Taeyong only nods at this, taking another sip of his coffee.

Normally, he wouldn’t even need to wake up at this hour, but his body clock was already programmed for it. Doyoung just needed to be with him as his system slowly woke up.

“Did the seawater sleep spray work for you?” Doyoung asks gently. There’s still traces of the scent in the room, especially when he’s so close to the bed.

Taeyong’s dyed eyebrows go up. “I suppose. I don’t think I woke up the whole night.”

 _Seawater sleep spray works best so far_ , Doyoung notes. “And the pillows, were they alright?”

Humming, Taeyong seems to think. “A bit too soft for me, I think.”

Doyoung nods understandingly. _Firmer pillows for tonight_. “Gotcha,” he says, typing on his phone. “Would you want to have breakfast here? I could have anything you want brought up.”

The man in bed is silent, mulling it over. Doyoung lets him. It’s during hours like this that Taeyong was the most peaceful, and there wasn’t much for Doyoung to do. A moment of quiet, before everything that comes after.

When Taeyong nods, Doyoung immediately gets out the menu. He’s already seen a few options that he knows will appeal to the music producer, in the event that Taeyong can’t decide on one.

“How about the souffle pancakes with the strawberry and whipped cream topping?” he asks, pulling up the photo he had saved from the hotel website. “I’ll have them put extra whipped cream on the side.”

Something brightens up in Taeyong’s expression as he nods, suddenly excited at the idea. Doyoung smiles, knowing that he would be pleased with the suggestion.

“It’s not too heavy so you won’t feel bloated during your meeting.” Doyoung is already dialing the number for room service. “I’ll get you that fruit juice you liked from last time too.”

Later, as Taeyong eats his breakfast on the dining table in his hotel room, Doyoung goes over his schedule for the day. It was part of their daily routine, and no matter how drowsy Taeyong was, he always listened.

“So, we have your meeting with Miss Joohyun at 10, and I’ve already printed out your talking points so you can review it before going into the meeting.”

Taeyong finishes his first pancake from the fluffy stack, and Doyoung wordlessly pours more of the strawberry compote and cream over the second one. “And then after that is a nice lunch with Yuta, at that restaurant near Central Park.”

He sees Taeyong about to say something with his mouth still full of pancakes, so Doyoung cuts in. “Yes, the one that they say you have to kill to get a reservation at. I didn’t have to kill as many as I thought, so it’s okay.”

That makes Taeyong snicker around his food. Doyoung bites back the smile on his lips as he continues. “Your photoshoot at Time isn’t until 3:30 anyways, so take your time. I already made sure that you can still get that massage before the dinner, so you won’t have to hurry all the way to that other hotel uptown. I already have your suit coming in just as you’re enjoying the massage, so it’s freshly pressed.”

“And Ruby?” Taeyong asks, taking a sip of his fruit juice. Doyoung was told what was in it for the sake of being sure Taeyong wasn’t allergic to any of it, and he thinks it’s way too much for one glass. 

He gets his iPad out, tapping on the monitoring app he has before turning the screen to face Taeyong. “Dropped her off at the doggy daycare already, and sent over the food that she likes plus her toys. I know you trust Sooyoung best, so I personally asked for her. She promised to keep the pup cam on so we can see what Ruby is up to at all times.”

The slightest, softest smile appears on Taeyong’s lips. “Thank you,” he says, voice still a little hoarse from sleep. 

Doyoung smiles back. “It’s my job.” He shrugs, going back to looking through his messages. “Now, let’s review what you’ll say for the Time interview, okay?”

**Jungwoo** **  
** **11:02am, Samseong-dong**

The dorm auntie was very accommodating of Jungwoo when he had arrived, offering him snacks to go with the coffee he had in hand. He politely turned them down, but still ended up pocketing a few after some persuasion.

Jungwoo was asked to wait in the lobby as the dorm auntie went up to make sure that Mark was up and decent. He had brought some food for Mark, what the boy seemed to like the last time Ten had talked to him, and the auntie brought them with her. The chairs in the lobby were easy to sink into, and Jungwoo used the time waiting to read through the little cheat sheet he made.

It was primarily the most basic information about Mark, like what he liked to eat, what time he usually got up, how he liked his water, his usual activities when he didn’t have a schedule, stuff like that. The list was just so that Jungwoo could come in already somewhat prepared, as he really did have to adjust to Mark pretty quickly.

Soon, he’s called up, and Jungwoo gets into the elevator. He hopes that Mark liked the breakfast (brunch? lunch? whatever) that he brought. It was the first step to a lasting impression, that much he knew.

Before the elevator doors opened, Jungwoo smiled his best unforced smile, ready for whatever he was going to meet. Yes, Ten said a hundred times that Mark was nice, but it didn’t hurt to be ready.

The dorm auntie escorts him to the right door, and he holds her hand on the way. She’s in her fifties, with kind eyes and short hair with clips in it. Jungwoo recognizes the color of the clips as the official color of Mark’s group, and it makes him smile a little more.

She knocks, calling out softly to Mark. It opens after a few beats, and Jungwoo is finally face to face with Mark for the first time.

He’s a bit shorter than Jungwoo, with his mess of dark purple hair and his huge specs perched high on his nose. The pajamas he’s wearing are understated, and he’s trying to get into a hoodie as he looks up at Jungwoo.

“Hello!” Jungwoo greets, and he’s ushered into the apartment. “I’m Jungwoo, your new P.A. Did I come at a bad time?”

Mark rubs the sleep from his eyes, but straightens. “Nah, it’s okay. Just got up though, so I’m a bit…” He gestures down his body, and Jungwoo chuckles.

“It’s fine, I’m going to see you like this from now on anyways.” 

That startles a laugh from Mark, and some of the tension in his shoulders melts away. Jungwoo is relieved.

He’s told to make himself comfortable by the auntie, and he bows to her in thanks. Carefully, Jungwoo sets down his bag and his own cup of coffee on the coffee table, sitting down on the couch. He watches as Mark pads to the kitchen, getting the plastic bag with the food boxes that Jungwoo brought.

“Thank you for the food, by the way,” he tells Jungwoo as he sits down in a chair opposite him. “You didn’t have to.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem! Just wanted to bring some since it’s nearing lunch anyways.” He gives Mark his best smile, and Mark smiles back. Jungwoo thinks his smile is one of the cutest he’s seen, even more so now that Mark is drowsy.

As Mark eats, Jungwoo takes out the contract from his bag and reads it over another time. He’s signed so many of these already that he’s practically gotten the format memorized, but he reads it through anyways. 

Idols have been known to have issues with how much their company protects them, and Jungwoo can see that Mark’s company wasn’t all that different. They cover the basics, yes, maybe even a bit more, but there were still areas that were lacking.

It wasn’t Jungwoo’s place to comment on them. He hasn’t been an assistant to an idol yet, but he’s seen more protection for some not-so-popular actors, so this is a little underwhelming for him.

“Sorry you have to do all this,” Mark pipes up, and Jungwoo looks up from his papers. “I really wanted to see if I could survive without an assistant but they insisted…”

Jungwoo puts his papers down onto his lap, diverting his full attention to Mark. “No need to apologize,” he says sweetly, in that voice he’s honed over the years. “I’m here to help in any way I can, but your life is still yours to live and experience.”

 _That isn’t completely true_ , Jungwoo thinks to himself. Being an idol meant that a huge part of his life was lived by his company’s rules. He couldn’t just do whatever he liked, or like whoever he wanted to. That was the bitter truth of it all.

Mark nods, but Jungwoo feels like he was thinking the same thing. “I’m sure Ten has told you a bit about me?”

Jungwoo lets out a tiny laugh. “Yes, he’s told me enough for now. I’ll have time to learn more, anyways.”

At that moment, Mark’s manager comes out from one of the rooms, smiling warmly at Jungwoo. She sits next to Mark, relaxed but with the posture of someone that’s been in this line of work for several years. Jungwoo is unfazed; she’s like most of the managers he’s met.

Later, after some discussion about what he will do as well as the the terms stated in the contract and finally, the signing of the contract, the manager leaves them to attend to some of the other members. Jungwoo is left with Mark, who is still rather nervous around him.

Assuring him that he will just be there to organize his schedule, Mark relaxes the slightest bit. He must really not be used to the whole concept, despite having Ten as his assistant for the better part of two years. Mark is obviously reluctant to have Jungwoo do everything, and Jungwoo thinks it’s cute.

So they sit by the kitchen counter, Jungwoo’s laptop out as he types in all the little details that Mark mentions. It takes a while to get Mark to really get talking about his life and what he does on a daily basis, but Jungwoo finds a way. He needs it for future reference, and it’s best that he gets the most out of him this first meeting so that he’ll ask less questions in the future.

From a first glance, Mark does need to have his daily schedule fixed, even for his off days. It’s far too close to their comeback and he’s only going to get even more occupied with schedules, so he needs to be organized about the whole thing. Jungwoo can already see the lack of a rest period between schedules, so he might have to review any health concerns Mark might have during this time.

Mark was a favorite, that much is clear. Jungwoo has long known that being a favorite in this industry meant being worked to the bone. He looks over at Mark, sweet, awkward Mark, and he sincerely hopes the kid will be fine.

Just as Mark was telling him about the queued up schedules after their time of promotion, the doorbell to the apartment rings. Mark excuses himself, going to answer the door. Jungwoo watches as he peers through the peephole before excitedly opening the door.

On the other side is a very tall man, about Mark’s age, with the brightest, widest smile on his face. The guy could fit into a toothpaste commercial without a doubt. His arms are open, and he stumbles into the apartment to hug Mark. The idol is obviously happy to see him, hugging him back tightly.

“Hey bro!” the guy says, pulling away to look at Mark. “Ready to lie around and binge on everything we’re banned from?”

Mark laughs, loud, slapping his friend on the arm. “Sssh! You’re so loud, my manager will hear us!”

“Not like you cared the last time,” the guys says, detaching himself from Mark to walk around the apartment. He stops in his tracks as he sees Jungwoo sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen. “Oh, did I interrupt anything?”

Mark looks between Jungwoo and his friend, not sure what to answer. Jungwoo answers for him. “No, we were just discussing a few things. I’m Jungwoo, Mark’s new P.A.”

He holds out a hand, and the guy takes it in his, shaking excitedly. “Nice to meet you! I’m Lucas. I take it you’re here to clean up the mess that is Mark Lee?”

That earns Lucas a punch in the arm from Mark, but he’s laughing anyways.

“I guess you can say that,” Jungwoo says. “Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna finish up a few things and I’ll leave you to your, uh, illegal binging.”

Lucas laughs, the sound filling the apartment even more than Mark’s did. “Okay, sweet.” He grabs an apple from the counter, munching on it happily. “Can’t believe my buddy over here got himself a cute assistant with no effort.”

He gets another slap on the arm from Mark, who gapes at him. Jungwoo only chuckles at that, going back to creating his spreadsheet. He makes a mental note to ask Mark a bit more about Lucas later, just so he knows if he could be contacted for any viable reason. It was always nice to know about who the clients were close to and who they wanted to avoid, so he could make the necessary adjustments.

“I was referred by a friend,” Jungwoo explains, not even looking up from his laptop. “I took the job because he said Mark was a pretty nice dude.”

Chuckling, Lucas says, “If only it was that easy to get this dude a date. Believe me, I’ve been trying for years now.”

Jungwoo feels like he might just see Mark strangle his friend. “Maybe I can arrange one for him. I’ve done that before.”

Lucas slaps the kitchen counter. “Mark, I can’t believe you got a cute, magical assistant just because you were nice. Where do I get one?”

Even without looking up, Jungwoo knows that Mark must have rolled his eyes at Lucas. “Okay, enough talk,” Mark says, grabbing Lucas by the arm and pulling him along. “You’re gonna freak him out.”

They’re halfway down the hallway when Jungwoo hears Lucas ask, “Can I get his number, though? You know, for emergency purposes.”

Jungwoo laughs to himself as he hears Mark punch his friend again.

**Doyoung** **  
** **3:35pm, New York City**

“No, I specifically reserved the function room at the far back,” Doyoung says into the phone, handing the fruit cup to Taeyong, who’s already in the makeup chair. “Yes, the reservation was made under the name Lee Taeyong, and I’ve already paid a deposit for it.”

The fruit cup is given back to him to open, and Doyoung puts his phone between his shoulder and ear so he could open the cup with both hands. “Yes, and I’ll send over the appetizer orders so that they can be ready once we get there.” He gives Taeyong the fruit back, sticking a plastic spoon into it. “We’ll arrive by 8.”

He ends the call, sitting down in the stool provided for him. Doyoung takes out his tablet, ready to send the orders to the restaurant’s system.

When he feels Taeyong looking over at him, he hands over the printout of the interview questions for him to review. They’ve gone over it several times now, even in the car on the way here, but Doyoung understands that Taeyong is a little nervous.

Doyoung is eternally grateful that the Korean interpreter they have is competent and has worked with several big names in the industry, with an understanding of how important it was that their intentions come across clearly. He doesn’t want another nightmare of having to deal with a poorly translated article ( _I’m looking at you, Marie Clare France_ ).

The stylists are working with Taeyong’s deep fried mess of hair now, and Doyoung momentarily wishes he understood the magic that they worked. It took some skill to get Taeyong’s hair to look good, and Doyoung knows this all too well.

After sending the order, Doyoung stands up to go to the rack of options for Taeyong’s outfits for the shoot. He’s looked over them quickly when they arrived, but didn’t pay attention to any of the details.

The shoot was supposed to show powerful people in the way that people saw them versus how they were in real life. Or well, a much prettier version of both, anyways. Taeyong’s net worth was well into the hundred millions, but given the chance to wear pajamas everyday, for absolutely everything, for the rest of his life, he absolutely would.

Looking at the clothes more closely now, Doyoung takes note of the pieces that Taeyong would most likely prefer. In truth, he’d be able to carry any of them well, because he _is_ Lee Taeyong, but a handful of them looked more like what he’d choose for himself on any given day.

As he’s trying to form a full outfit with the pieces, a cup of coffee is thrust his way. Doyoung pulls back to look at who is giving him the coffee, when he’s met with a smile that’s punctuated by dimples.

“Coffee?” the man says, voice soft. “I’ve brought some for everyone here.”

Doyoung takes the cup, smiling kindly to the stranger. He’s dressed in a tie-dye oversized hoodie, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and track pants, his hair hidden under a beanie. Doyoung would never be caught outside wearing something like that, but he realizes he might not be able to anyways. The outfit the guy’s wearing must add up to _at least_ $25,000, as horrid as the pieces are. Why is it that expensive clothes look like _that_?

“I’m Jae,” the man says, and there’s his smile again. It reaches his eyes, which is a rare sight for Doyoung at this point. “Nice to meet you.”

Taking his outstretched hand, Doyoung shakes it. “Doyoung. Nice to meet you too.”

When he thinks that the guy will leave, he lingers a bit more. “It’s my first time in a shoot like this. I’m a bit nervous.”

While he was never really for small talk, Doyoung indulges Jae. “Don’t be. It’s just a bunch of props and weird music playing over the speakers. Nothing to be afraid of.”

Jae seems to be pacified with this, quickly bidding goodbye to Doyoung before jogging away. If Doyoung didn’t know better, he’d probably think of Jae as someone like him, a person perpetually behind cameras with his phone in hand. He had the smile that could get any manager to fold, and Doyoung’s sure that man could charm his way into getting his boss’ latte order done before everyone else’s.

Doyoung goes back to his stool, setting the coffee down on the makeup table, right next to Taeyong’s. Taeyong raises an eyebrow at him in the mirror.

“Who was that?” Taeyong asks, and Doyoung knows that tone too well.

He pulls out his iPad again, opening the browser. “He said his name is Jae.” Doyoung looks at the coffee cups side by side. “And the cups say ‘J&J’. Safe to assume one of the J’s is him.”

Taeyong is silent for a while, waiting as Doyoung does whatever research he needs to do. Doyoung takes a sip of the coffee, grateful even if it’s not something he’d usually drink.

It doesn’t take long for Doyoung to find the company website, as well as some info on the owners. There, that same smiling face, dressed in something that would put his current outfit to shame. Jae.

He gives the iPad over to Taeyong, who holds it up as the makeup artist applies shimmery eyeshadow to his eyelids. Doyoung lets him read through it as he pulls the same webpage up on his phone.

Jung Jaehyun. Owner and CEO of a company with 5 of the most popular Korean cafes under their belt, as well as several other ventures like restaurants and even film. He was young, but already had so much to his name.

Doyoung watches as Taeyong’s eyebrows raise in interest the more he reads. After a bit, he returns the iPad to Doyoung, the tiniest smile on his lips.

Looking at him carefully, Doyoung asks, “Will you drink the coffee?”

Lee Taeyong likes his coffee with 3 shots of espresso, one packet of brown sugar and no cream, exactly 75 degrees by the time he’s drinking it. Doyoung knew he wouldn’t like the coffee given by Jae at all.

When Taeyong takes a sip, and then another, Doyoung isn’t surprised, though.

He isn’t surprised either when Taeyong lingers after his own shoot is done, silently watching as Jae steps onto the set, in a suit that fits him so perfectly that Doyoung decides he must find his tailor. Taeyong is the quietest he’s been, and about to run late to the massage, so Doyoung quietly asks if he should cancel it.

Taeyong looks over at him with wide eyes, like a child caught. It’s not the first time Doyoung has seen this look. “Uh. No, we’ll go.”

Doyoung only nods, texting the masseuse that they’ll be late. Even as Taeyong has said that they will go, he doesn’t see any movement on his part.

Not that Doyoung could blame him. Jae carried himself like he had everything figured out, something Doyoung didn’t see often in CEOs his age. The confidence in him is not boastful at all, and he admires that. There was a kindness to him, that soft smile comforting instead of something that felt like a weapon.

Taeyong would _love_ him, if he doesn’t already.

They do manage to leave the shoot, and Doyoung slips Jaehyun’s business card into Taeyong’s lap. 

“Do you want me to see if he can grab some lunch with you before you leave on Friday?” Doyoung asks him, already ready to pencil it into the schedule. “You know, for business.”

Taeyong smiles up at him, his eyes glinting. “This is why I love you, Doyoung.”

Doyoung beams, already dialling a number. “Anything for you, sweetie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm @evnsangcvlt over at twt!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	2. close

**Doyoung** **  
** **4:15pm, New York City**

Taeyong is already on the pedestal, looking at himself in the mirror as someone makes marks for adjustment on the suit he’s wearing. It’s a beautiful cream color, with the gold details giving it that flair that is  _ very _ Taeyong. He looks absolutely regal in it, close to godly, and he isn’t even fully styled for it.

Sipping on wine, Doyoung walks up to him. There’s a pleased little smile on Taeyong’s lips as he examines himself, running his hands all over the garment.

“Is it too much?” he asks, turning slightly so the cape on his shoulders swishes. There’s a hitch in his voice, like he doesn’t even want to say it.

Doyoung smiles at him. “It’s perfect,” he reassures. “Once they add those extra details we requested, it’ll be  _ everything _ .”

The smile on Taeyong’s face widens. “Hopefully I bring justice to this.”

Handing him a wineglass, Doyoung tells him, “Oh, sweetie, you bring justice to everything you wear. No need to worry about it.”

Slowly, Taeyong turns again, trying to see how he moved in it. Doyoung knows the press will absolutely eat all of this up. He could already see the headlines. “Award-winning producer Lee Taeyong stuns in a regal getup”. “Stars that look like gods during the gala”.

“What color should I dye my hair for this one?” Taeyong asks, running his fingers through his casually tousled hair. 

Doyoung hums, circling him. “Go platinum. I think it will suit this one perfectly.”

Taeyong nods, excited at the idea. He sips on the wine. “I like that. You know me too well.”

“That’s my job,” Doyoung says, beaming at him.

As hesitant as he is to step out of the outfit, he has to try on the one for the after-party. Doyoung takes a seat on one of the plush chairs, waiting for him to come out of the dressing room. As he’s there, he drinks the last of his wine, relieved when a butler offers him more.

He checks the email sent to him by Gucci, with the sample photos of the shoes they are making for Taeyong. There’s at least 10 photos per pair, as per Doyoung’s request, and he reviews each one. Those were sent around a week ago, and some details were already adjusted after Taeyong’s suggestions. Doyoung already scheduled a visit to them tomorrow, so that they can see the shoes in person.

Imagining Taeyong in the first outfit with the shoes they had custom-made is easy, and Doyoung is excited to see it all come together. The gala is almost a month away, but he’s pumped all the same.

Doyoung checks the rest of his emails, replying to some of them. There’s a handful of interview requests that he’ll have to run through with Taeyong before replying, but he already knows that he’ll have to decline most of them. A few emails with package tracking numbers remain unopened, and Doyoung makes a mental note to compile all of them and check the status of each one once they get back to the hotel.

Taeyong steps out of the dressing room in a much less grand outfit, but it still doesn’t fail to impress. The suit is a deep, rich red, complementing Taeyong’s skin tone nicely. A mesh shirt is under the jacket, the embroidered patterns echoing the first outfit.

It’s obvious that Taeyong loves this one, his happiness radiating from him. When he looks at the mirror, he beams at Doyoung, and Doyoung returns that smile.

Later in the car, Taeyong is quiet, but he still seems to be buzzing. Momentarily looking up from his phone, Doyoung waits for him to say anything.

In the years that he’s worked for the music producer, he’s already figured out all of his little tells. He’s done that with everyone he’s worked for, but Taeyong was a bit harder to decode from the get-go. The man seemed to guard himself very carefully, even before becoming who he was now.

The first few months were difficult. Now, Doyoung  _ knows _ difficult. He knows how to deal with all kinds of difficult, may it be that questionable stain in the hundred thousand-dollar couch to the crazy exes that always seem to pop up like bad grass in every party.

But getting Lee Taeyong to show him discomfort, happiness, confusion, interest, it was a whole different venture. He would be quiet most of the time, and then become someone whose mere presence riled up a party. He would lie down in the most random places in the apartment for Doyoung to find, and then he’d also have the most insight into things that Doyoung has ever had the opportunity to hear. 

People have long wondered what it was like to work for world-renowned music producer Lee Taeyong. Was he a total pain in the ass? Did he make all sorts of ridiculous requests? Did Doyoung have to do everything for him?

The only actual answer Doyoung has is that Taeyong is pretty much like everyone else he had worked for. His life was too busy for him to handle on his own, and he needed some help in making sure that what he needed to do was done so that stuff wouldn’t pile up. 

There were things he didn’t really know how to do, and Doyoung can’t blame him. Not everyone knew everything, and Doyoung was there to supply him with what he needed to either figure things out on his own or even help him get it done.

Other than that, there were things that Taeyong never really knew needed to be done. Like getting that checkup he had long been neglecting which resulted in him having to go through treatment before his condition got worse. Like that little extra step in his everyday routine to make sure that his skin wouldn’t dry out as much as it did. Like trying out different things to help with his difficulty sleeping.

Doyoung was there to do what he could so Taeyong’s life was easier, better. Often, that would come after several little steps that would soon become routine, and it would usually be worth it in the long run. 

It was important to him that they would trust him enough to let him see more. The more Doyoung learned about them, the easier it was to make things run smoothly. That wasn’t the easiest part of the job, but it had to be done. He let them open up in their own time, and Taeyong was no exception.

Now, when he knows Taeyong like the back of his hand, he’s in sync with him. It’s a satisfying feeling, because it means that Doyoung can always figure out what he needs or wants, without him having to say anything. Makes his job more efficient that way.

“The wine,” Taeyong says, after a while. “I liked it.”

Doyoung only smiles, going back to typing out a message. “Already ordered two bottles. They’ll be sent to the apartment within the week.”

Taeyong’s smile reflects in the darkened windows. “You know me too well.”

He feels like there’s more that Taeyong wants to say, but doesn’t want to. Doyoung decides to prompt him with, “Anything else you need me to get done? You can tell me.”

Often, Taeyong wouldn’t have anything else to request, but it never hurt to ask all the same. Doyoung can sense that he’s hesitating with something he wants, and he just has to voice it.

After a few more silent minutes, he quietly says, “Jae?” like he’s not sure if he should even be asking.

Doyoung looks up, slightly amused. He knew it had been on his mind for a bit, but he didn’t want to bring it up until Taeyong was ready to do so. The man got flustered easily, despite what everyone else thought, so he didn’t talk about stuff like this all that often.

“His secretary said he’s free for lunch on Friday, so I’ve already put it in your schedule and reserved a table at a nice garden restaurant. I’ll let you choose from some outfit options I’ve already put together, so that we can have it nice and ready for Friday.”

Taeyong is stunned for a moment, his cheeks pinking. He mutters a soft “thank you” before looking away, obviously excited.

Doyoung makes a note to get Taeyong’s usual coffee order from J&J cafe for the next morning.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **10:00am, Samseong-dong**

Mulling over the stylist picks for Mark, Jungwoo chooses an outfit that he thinks is more  _ Mark _ , while not deviating too much from the general theme they seem to have for the day.

Today’s schedule was shooting a video that will be aired shortly after their comeback showcase. The concept for the shoot is more laid-back, more casual, but still with that particular brand that they have. They don’t even have anyone to do hair and makeup as usual, just letting the boys do what they’re comfortable with for now.

Knowing that Mark was still showering, Jungwoo decides to step out for a bit and buy his whole group some coffee. He was all too aware that nearly all of them stayed up pretty late, and would most likely be drowsy now. None of them were even really awake at 8:30 when Jungwoo came in, and he had to gently wake them up with their manager.

Jungwoo knows they aren’t all that much younger than him, but sometimes he really feels like he adopted seven kids all at once. True, he was only really the PA for Mark, but working for him somewhat meant working with the rest of them. It was a package deal of sorts. 

True, their schedules weren’t quite as busy as Mark’s, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t need any help in their lives.

God, Jungwoo thinks he’s becoming a little addicted to doing stuff like this.

Being with them wasn’t a chore, though. The Dreamies were fun to be with, and Jungwoo enjoyed being in their presence. A little chaotic, yeah, but nothing he can’t handle.

When he rattles off the coffee orders to the person manning the cashier, Jungwoo distantly thinks about how much caffeine these kids are intaking. It surely wasn’t healthy for their age (not that Jungwoo should really have a say in caffeine consumption at this point). He’s going to try to see if he can lessen it somehow.

Back at the dorm, he sees Jisung, their youngest, rooting through the cupboards for something light to eat. Jungwoo puts down what he bought on the kitchen counter.

“Jisung?” he says softly, not wanting to startle the kid. He jumps a little, but waves when he sees Jungwoo.

Handing him a cup of hot chocolate, Jungwoo smiles. “I also got you some bread, if you wanna eat. Do you like milk bread?”

Jisung nods, coming closer to peer into the paper bag. The individually wrapped bread is placed into his hands, and he takes a seat on their tiny dining table to eat his breakfast.

Unable to resist, Jungwoo comes over to smooth a little tuft of hair sticking out of Jisung’s head. “Who else isn’t in the shower or getting dressed right now? I’ll give them their coffee.”

The boy takes a sip of his hot chocolate to wash down the tiny bite of bread he had. “I think most of the hyungs are just in their rooms.”

Jungwoo smiles at him again, thanking him, before going down the hallway of their rooms. He’s got them memorized already, and knows what to expect on the other side of the door.

Knocking on the first one, he’s met with Renjun when it opens. He’s already dressed, just combing through his hair with his fingers. Renjun seems like the most alert of them all so far, and he immediately registers what Jungwoo is handing over to him.

For a while, he just stares at the bread and coffee in his hands, seemingly contemplating if he’ll eat now that he’s dressed and ready. Jungwoo chuckles, reaching out to pat down his collar.

“Eat up, you’re gonna need at least  _ some _ energy in your body,” he says, before leaving him to knock on another door.

It opens to Jeno, whose eyes widen at the cups Jungwoo is holding. He likes him the most in the three days he’s been getting to know them, the boy with the brightest smile. Jeno’s smile got Jungwoo to cut back on at least one cup of coffee a day, so he should be thankful. 

He places the warm cup into his hands, rooting around in the paper bag for the cheese bread. Jeno gives the softest “thank you” he’s ever heard, and Jungwoo can’t help but want to pinch him.

_ Rein it in, Jungwoo _ .

The next door is wide open, but he knocks anyways. Jaemin turns to face him, just finishing buttoning up his shirt. In Jungwoo’s fairly quick research, he hasn’t seen the boy have a hair color much different from blonde. It looks like it’s how his hair has always been at this point.

The boy instantly brightens at the sight of coffee. Jungwoo isn’t sure he hasn’t already had a cup (or two), but he can’t seem to stop himself from giving the coffee to him anyways. The cup had more shots of espresso in it than Jungwoo would dare to have on a regular basis, but he’s not here to judge.

Jungwoo hands him a chocolate bread too, saying that he should have something in his stomach too. He’s relieved as Jaemin starts nibbling on the bread soon enough, and he turns to go to the last room.

Mark is there, sitting on his bed so he could put his shoes on. The outfit he has on is the one Jungwoo picked, and he’s silently pleased. Jungwoo knocks gently on the open door before coming in, gingerly sitting on the gaming chair in the room.

“Good morning, Mark,” he greets, setting the remaining cups down on the desk. “How are you this morning?”

Finishing with his laces, Mark straightens up. “Good. Just a bit sleepy.”

As if to punctuate it, he yawns, and Jungwoo thinks of a kitty, somehow. Jungwoo gets Mark’s coffee, standing up to give it to him.

“Gamed with Lucas again?” Jungwoo asks, opening the wrapped bread to hand over to Mark. 

“Mmhmm,” Mark hums, sipping at his coffee. “We tried to beat Hyuck, but that’s impossible.”

Snickering to himself, Jungwoo sips at his own coffee. “Just tell me if you need more eye masks for the morning. Or more coffee, if that’s what you want.”

Mark nods, biting down on the bread he was given. They won’t be able to eat until after the shoot, so Jungwoo hopes it’s enough to tide them over. 

He knows that Mark isn’t likely to start asking for more things, but he wants to gently encourage him to do so. There was nothing wrong with it, and that’s what he was there for anyways.

Jungwoo thinks that it’s going to be a while until Mark really warms up to the idea of having an assistant. That’s fine. He’ll give him that time.

“Hey uh,” Mark starts, fiddling with the plastic wrapper of his pizza bread. “Sorry if Lucas is coming on too strong. He does that, but he’s really harmless.”

It makes Jungwoo smile over his cup. “It’s fine, he’s not that bad. I’ll get used to his god-awful pickup lines soon.”

That has Mark laughing, and he seems more awake now. “Yeah, he’s done that with everyone, even if he just wants to be friends. He doesn’t really care how it makes him look, as long as he gets them to laugh.”

Jungwoo thinks back to that rather loud guy, all smiles and open arms and his almost-automatic flirty side glances. Disregarding the pickup lines, Jungwoo guesses that Lucas may have gotten many a person swoon over him.

“You’re really close with him,” Jungwoo says, more of an observation. He remembers that he has to see how close they really are, for his future reference should he need it.

Mark nods, finishing his bread and dusting the crumbs off his pants. “We trained together, so it feels like he’s my brother. We’ve gone through some stuff together, you know? It’s nice that he lives in the apartment just above this one, so he can come over whenever.”

Humming, Jungwoo takes that in.  _ Very close, then _ . He watches as Mark stands up to throw the empty wrapper into the trash bin in the room.

“So, he’s really trying to get you a date?” he asks innocently, tilting his head a bit. “I thought there was a rule about stuff like that.”

When he gets no answer, he continues. “Just don’t wanna break rules if I tried to look for a date for you or whatever.”

With what Jungwoo has read, there didn’t seem to be a particular clause that absolutely forbid them to date, but it was better to be sure. If Lucas could say it so casually, was there even really a restriction?

It surprises him when Mark seems to trip over his own feet. “Uh, yeah. We’re allowed actually, but don’t tell anyone that.”

Jungwoo makes a zipping motion over his lips. “But?”

“But…” Mark takes a deep breath, looking down at his coffee cup. There’s a small, awkward laugh from his mouth. “I, uh, haven’t dated. Lucas has tried to set me up with his friends, but I never really clicked with them.”

In silence, Jungwoo just observes him. Mark doesn’t seem sad about it really, just somewhat hesitant. He doesn’t ask further, knowing if Mark wanted to say more, he would. 

He stands up to leave, planning to give the drinks to their manager and to Chenle (if the boy was already there), when Donghyuck comes into the room. Still towelling his damp hair, he smiles up at Jungwoo.

Jungwoo hands him his coffee and his bread, he greets him good morning as well. As Jungwoo rearranges the cups in their holder so it’s more balanced, he looks up momentarily at the roommates.

Known each other since they were 13, 14, and it shows. They’re comfortable around each other, enough to bicker like the closest friends do. In the short time Jungwoo has been visiting this dorm, he already saw that these two were as in sync as could be, and it was expected.

He’d seen it several times before, even with his own friends. Often, they didn’t even notice that they moved in perfect harmony, and it was fascinating to watch. Jungwoo muses that since they’re idols in the same group, they have even more of that synchronicity ingrained in them.

During his research on them, he found all their variety show appearances. Who they were there was something he could easily link to how they were in real life, but it’s so much more muted here. There’s a quiet understanding between the both of them, like they can already talk through gazes and the slightest of motions. It comes from almost a decade of them working together, growing together.

And there, when Mark’s gaze lingers a beat too long on Donghyuck before looking back at his coffee cup, does Jungwoo understand why Mark hasn’t dated.

**Doyoung** **  
** **6:10am, New York City**

The little bell by the door tinkles as he enters the cafe. It’s bright and airy, with sunlight streaming through the big windows onto the dark wood of the tables and chairs.

Doyoung is greeted by the staff at the counter, and he gently bows back in greeting. Momentarily, he pauses to read the menu, looking for something for himself.

It was early, and the J&J cafe was a short walk from the hotel. He could spare a few minutes here, maybe even have a small breakfast. 

Settling on a cup of lemon tea and a warm croissant, Doyoung places his order and then sits on a table near the windows. He likes the warm sunlight, and wanted to soak it up through the chill of the upcoming fall. 

They bring his order to him, and he smiles gently at the server. It’s nice that there aren’t as much people here at this hour, and nobody seems to be really rushing. Usually, there weren’t many quiet hours in this city, that much Doyoung knew, so he appreciates whatever he can get.

Trips like these were becoming more common for him, and he was slowly running out of all the places he could visit on whatever off hours he had. He used to just wander around, finding places of interest where he can linger and just breathe in the city. 

Long ago, on his first few PA jobs, he took some time adjusting to new surroundings. It was always best when he knew his way around the area, so that he could do his job even better. Of course, it always helped when he knew someone nearby who could clean the most stubborn wine stains out of a thousand-dollar gown, or a bakery that would be able to whip up even the most complicated cake request out there, or a supplier within the area that can create custom signages for a party. Familiar was best, but Doyoung learned he couldn’t keep relying on that.

So on his rest days or whatever hours he can steal away, he explores every new city he’s in, taking in the sights as well as making lists of the resources in the area. He never knew when his boss will ask him to look for that ultra-rare soda in the middle of the trip, or ask him to tour them around a place they liked, so it was always useful to know.

New York wasn’t exactly very new for him, having been here several times with Taeyong. There were parts of it that reminded him of Seoul, familiar yet still so different. It made New York feel a little easier to understand, with its bustle of people and the clear mixture of cultures from everywhere coming together. Exploring it every time they were here never really got old, though, as there’s always something new to discover every time.

Doyoung looks around the cafe, with its exposed brick and a feeling that’s very  _ New York _ , somehow. He feels like Taeyong would like hanging out here, if ever the thing with Jaehyun works out. 

Jung Jaehyun. All the research in the world won’t help Doyoung connect that name, his position, anything about him to the man who offered him coffee at the photoshoot. He had seemed almost shy, nervous to approach Doyoung, as if Doyoung was someone he should be intimidated by. The man had several businesses under his belt, all fairly big names. Why would he even be scared of Doyoung?

He couldn’t deny that he was curious. The man seemed like a whole mystery apart from what he revealed in articles. His answers were just enough, if not rather cryptic in their almost poetic nature. Even some of the more supposedly “private” celebrities would have exposed more in similar interviews. 

There were the handful of people, most of them probably friends from the press, that said Jaehyun was “just a chill guy”, and his presence was just intimidating at first. Blame it on his good looks, maybe, but not many people seemed to try to approach him casually. And yet there he was, almost flustering when he was handing out coffees.

Jaehyun had the smile of someone that could win over the world if he wanted to, and it was dangerous. Doyoung didn’t know if that was going to be a good thing. Well, obviously, it would be a good thing for Jaehyun, disarming people without even realizing it. But for people like Doyoung and the rest of the populace? He wasn’t sure.

Just as Doyoung was about to stand and order the coffee for Taeyong and be on his way back to the hotel, the door tinkles open to a familiar face. In walks Jung Jaehyun himself, smile perfect and the morning sunlight almost making him glow.

Doyoung decides he’s definitely dangerous.

After Jaehyun greets the staff and orders for himself, he looks for a table. His eyes land easily on Doyoung, and he waves, the smile brightening.

“Hey there,” he greets. “Anyone with you?” He gestures to the seat across Doyoung. Shaking his head, Doyoung watches as he slides into the seat.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” Jaehyun says. “Or anywhere else really.”

“New York is big, but it isn’t that big,” Doyoung replies. It makes Jaehyun chuckle, shaking his head slightly.

“You’re right.”

Upon noticing that Doyoung is trying not to clutch at his bag strap too much, he raises his brows. “Oh, were you leaving?”

Doyoung wants to linger for some reason, just a few seconds more. But his system just wouldn’t allow it, and he knew that he still needed to do the routine before Taeyong wakes up.

“Yeah,” he answers finally, feeling his hand become clammy as he grips his phone. “I was just gonna get a coffee for Taeyong.”

Jaehyun’s eyes light up in recognition. “Oh yeah, the music producer! Come up to the counter, I’ll make that coffee.”

“You don’t have to-”

Just then, that smile feels like it really can disarm a thousand people at once. “I insist.”

So Doyoung walks up to the counter with him, wiping his hands discreetly on his cardigan. He doesn’t quite understand why he suddenly feels tense, but he just hopes he doesn’t drop the damn coffee.

“How does he take his coffee?” Jaehyun asks from behind the counter, an apron already over his outfit. Doyoung logs it in as another side of him that he’s seen.

“Three shots of espresso, one packet of brown sugar, no cream,” he says, the order already ingrained in him. He tries to avoid the warm eyes on him.

Jaehyun hums. “He takes it like I do.” He chuckles. Oh god, Taeyong would be  _ in love _ this man. “How about you?”

Doyoung only makes a line with his lips. “I don’t really drink coffee.”

The man stops his scribbling on the cups to look up at him. “Oh? Would you, uh, want something to eat instead?”

Shaking his head, Doyoung says, “No need. I’ve eaten already.”

He feels like Jaehyun checks the receipts anyways, because along with Taeyong’s coffee is another croissant, neatly wrapped and put into a paper bag. 

Before he leaves, Jaehyun seems adamant on walking him to the door. He doesn’t make any contact with Doyoung, staying a safe distance away as they walk the few feet.

“My secretary told me where the lunch on Friday will be,” he says, just by the door. “You picked a great restaurant.”

Doyoung nods, feeling the tips of his ears pink. “Flattered.”

“Maybe I should get your card?” Jaehyun asks, looking unsure again. “I’d just rather contact you directly than have everything relayed to me.”

For a beat, Doyoung doesn’t move. That was never really something that happened to him before, the bosses asking for his card personally. He could always just message them using the business cards he got either from them or from their assistants.

When he snaps out of it, he reaches into his pocket for a card, handing it over. They both say their goodbyes, and Doyoung leaves the cafe.

As he’s walking back to the hotel, Doyoung feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. It’s only when he’s put the coffee on the bedside table and arranged everything as he usually does that he checks it.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Hey there! Jae here. Save this number!**

As if Doyoung hasn’t already. But he still finds it endearing, anyways.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **11:45pm, Samseong-dong**

When his phone starts ringing, Jungwoo jolts awake, sitting up immediately. It makes him a little woozy, but he wasn’t going to make it obvious. There’s only one person in the world he’d assigned that ringtone to, and he can’t risk missing the call.

“Yes?” he says when he answers it, slapping his cheek gently to get himself awake. “Mark, is everything okay?”

“Oh shit sorry did I wake you-” he starts stuttering, and Jungwoo lets out a breath. He seems fine, at least. “I’m so sorry-”

Threading his fingers through his hair, Jungwoo gets himself to smile, even if Mark can’t see. “It’s okay. Do you need anything?”

The line is silent for a while and Jungwoo has to stare at his phone screen through bleary eyes to figure out if Mark has ended the call. When he sees that it’s still on, he puts the phone to his ear again, waiting.

“Can you, um, come over?” he asks. Before Jungwoo can even think of a response, Mark hurriedly adds, “This isn’t something weird or anything, okay.”

Jungwoo chuckles, swinging his legs over to the side of the bed. “It’s okay. Give me 15 minutes.”

“Are you sure it’s okay? I just wanted to get some food but I didn’t wanna bother anyone and-”

“Mark.” Jungwoo says as patiently as possible, already rooting through his drawers for a shirt. “I’m already going to come. It’s okay.”

“Okay,” comes the soft response before Mark ends the call.

God, it’s a good thing Jungwoo is way too soft for this kid.

When Jungwoo arrives at the apartment building, he sees Mark already outside, hoodie pulled up and a mask on his face. Even with the hoodie and a cap obscuring a good amount of his face, Jungwoo sees his eyes brighten at the sight of him getting out of a taxi.

“Hey,” Jungwoo says, subtly trying to see if Mark’s eyes looked tired. “Is everything okay?”

Mark nods once. “Yeah, just couldn’t sleep. Thought I needed some air.”

Jungwoo doesn’t ask further and only puts a hand gently against Mark’s back, signalling him to start walking. He complies, and Jungwoo can already guess where he’s heading.

They don’t talk on the way, and Jungwoo doesn’t push it. He keeps a good distance away as well, not wanting to crowd too much into Mark’s space.

Accompanying bosses to their random late night adventures wasn’t really a new thing, but Mark wasn’t like them. He wasn’t whiny, or drunk, or trying to distance himself from a spouse or whatever. He just needs to walk, go somewhere. Jungwoo doesn’t even know if this is cleared with their manager, but he doesn’t really care right now.

Mark could be quiet if he wanted to, although it was never quite like this. Jungwoo knew something was up, but he was willing to wait for Mark to voice it out on his own.

They arrive at a 7-11, and Mark pushes inside. Jungwoo follows suit, the scent of instant noodles and convenience store coffee strong even through his mask.

Thankfully, they find a couple of seats in the far corner, away from the windows. Jungwoo asks him what he’d like and Mark absently answers, “Whatever you’ll have is fine.”

Jungwoo isn’t going to admit he’s hungry, so he holds back a bit. He gets four packs of instant ramen, two each for them, and a few rice balls. Grabbing some fruit juice (because really, their coffee consumption should be reduced already), he completes the sorta kinda meal.

Wide eyes look up at him as he sets the food down, and Mark suddenly looks years younger than he is. Jungwoo kind of wants to wrap him in a blanket.

They eat in silence for a bit, Mark scarfing down the noodles while Jungwoo opens the bottle of juice for him. Anything they’d talk about here, if they do, would most likely be drowned out by the pop song playing over the speakers and the people coming in for midnight snacks.

It’s only when Mark has finished his container of ramen does he look like he’s up to speaking. Jungwoo gives him his full attention, while still not pressuring him.

Talking is hard, he knows. Sometimes it was harder to talk to people who knew too much about oneself when compared to talking to someone who was mostly a stranger. There was a vulnerability that some people didn’t want to have when talking about a certain thing. That was one of the things he’s come to understand in his job.

Mark has been with the people in that dorm for years. They know more about him than Jungwoo will ever. Which is why Mark is here now, in a 7-11 with Jungwoo, eating rice balls and looking like he was contemplating putting his head on the table.

“Thank you for this,” is the only thing he says. He might just mean the food, but Jungwoo feels he’s thanking him for the company as well.

“No problem,” he replies, almost automatically. “You can call me for this anytime.”

“Really?” Mark’s face seems to light up. It makes Jungwoo smile a bit.

“Really.” 

It wasn’t part of his job description, nor was it really part of any agreement, it’s just that Jungwoo wants to do it. Most people would get him to do it anyways, but Mark probably needs it more than all the others.

Jungwoo looks at him, hoping he can figure out what’s wrong. “Why can’t you sleep?” he asks gently.

Mark finishes a rice ball before speaking. “I think I’m just overwhelmed, you know? Like, I’m tired, but there’s way too much I’m feeling and thinking about.”

Now  _ that’s _ something that Jungwoo can understand. “Is it the comeback?” he offers, voice going even softer.

The sigh Mark lets out is just utterly  _ exhausted _ . “Yeah, I guess. But there are other things too.”

“Do you wanna share those other things?”

“I dunno.”

It was fine if Mark didn’t want to. After all, not everything can be expressed right away. Sometimes, feeling all of the feelings just had to be done before much else. It was important that they had some time to sort it all out first, and it was okay that they didn’t fully understand yet. The talking could come after.

For someone whose job relies a lot on proper communication, Jungwoo has long known that communication wasn’t just talking. Talking doesn’t always get people places.

So, he only reaches out, squeezing one of Mark’s clenched hands in his. Mark doesn’t look up at him, but it’s okay (for now, anyways). 

“That’s alright. I’ll listen when you’re ready.”

Mark seems to like that, smiling slightly. “You’re pretty great, hyung.”

It makes Jungwoo chuckle. “Thank you, I’m flattered.”

Rubbing a hand over his face, Mark seems to get himself a little more awake. Of all the things Jungwoo has thought about since he started to work as his PA, it’s his want for Mark to get enough rest that overrides them all. 

All Jungwoo could do was make sure nothing overlapped and that Mark was on time for everything, but he just couldn’t guarantee that he would have enough time for himself. He tried, he really did, and he could see that Mark enjoyed every minute of time for himself. Mark deserved that, at least.

But schedules were schedules. There were things that he just couldn’t miss out on, and Jungwoo (and Mark, for that matter) was powerless on matters like that.

“Can you run my schedule by me again?” Mark asks, downing the rest of his fruit juice. 

Jungwoo fixes a look at him, as stern as he could get. “I’m not doing that tonight. Get some sleep. I’ll tell you in the morning, bub.”

Mark seemed to want to say something more, but he just nods. He takes a deep breath, blankly looking out at the aisles of snacks.

Standing up, Jungwoo tidies up the table and throws away their trash. After using wipes on his hands, he reaches one out to Mark, who takes it readily.

Jungwoo drags him to one of the aisles, picking out a sleep mask that can be heated and some oil that can help with sleep. In the next aisle, he gets a box of tea. He pays for them, despite Mark’s protests, and they go out into the night.

This time, Mark walks a little closer, and Jungwoo lets him. He still doesn’t say anything, and he figures he might not talk about whatever is troubling him for a while. It’s okay. They have time for it.

At the apartment building, Jungwoo gives the plastic bag to Mark. “You can heat up the mask. It will smell of lavender, which is supposed to be a calming scent. The oil smells like that too, so you can use it on your temples. The tea is my favorite kind, it really helps in making your system wind down. If it doesn’t help, we’ll try something else tomorrow. But please, try to get some rest, okay?”

Mark looks down at the plastic bag, a little bewildered, but he nods. When he looks up at Jungwoo, eyes wide under his cap, Jungwoo smiles at him.

“Call if you need anything more, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow, Mark.”

He seems to smile under his mask, and it makes Jungwoo happy. Mark tells him goodnight, waving at him through the glass doors of the apartment building once he’s inside.

On his ride home, Jungwoo thinks about how this might just be his most challenging PA job to date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was stuck on this one for a bit, but got around to finishing this chapter finally h
> 
> I'm @evnsangcvlt over on twt!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	3. be okay

**Jungwoo**  
**2:10pm, Vicolo Restaurant, Myeongdong**

Ten deposits a slice of garlic bread onto Jungwoo’s plate. “Doing okay there, honey?”

Chewing on his pasta, Jungwoo just nods. “Of course.”

He knows that of all people, Ten would understand just how _not_ okay he is.

It’s a few days before the comeback, and everyone’s buzzing about. There were the teasers being dropped, and then the occasional Vlives they did, and then filming for variety shows and YouTube videos that will be released later. There were the countless emails about interviews and requests to appear on their shows. Jungwoo has kept track of all the comeback support that has either come in already or has been requested, and boy do they come in droves. 

With his research, he shouldn’t have been surprised at the sheer number of preorders for the album, but they hit a record high with this one. Currently, they have more than 400,000 album preorders already (and yes, Jungwoo checked that morning). That number is definitely going to go up even more in the next days, and so with the number of gifts that are going to be sent in.

Judging from all the incoming packages as well as the fansites contacting the company about sending gifts and support, it sure looks like Jungwoo is gonna need an army to haul all of it in. 

At this point, Jungwoo is sure Ten is some sort of magic for handling that for more than two years. And he hasn’t even experienced the chaos after the comeback, god.

“Best thing you can do now is get as much rest as you can, and get them to rest too.” Ten is drawing circles in the air with his fork. “They don’t get sent to absolutely every show out there, but it’s still a lot and sleep is not going to come often.”

Jungwoo almost groans into his mint lemonade. “That wasn’t all of the shows out there?” God, there seemed to be too much for a 3-week period.

Ten pops a bite of chicken into his mouth. “Nope. They’re popular enough that they don’t need to go to every single one, but they have to go to the important ones. And then after promotions are done, they’re gonna be encouraged to keep making content, but it’s a lot more chill.”

Ah yes, people needed to keep having content. It helped the fanbase grow while feeding the current fanbase even more content so that they’re pacified. The whole thing kept up their image too, making it known to the world that these idols were human, they did normal stuff, they could be chaotically funny messes, and they sure knew how to entertain.

He’s watched a lot of their videos on their official channel. Off the bat, he could see why people enjoyed them so much. The fans could see a side of them that wasn’t there when they performed, like a little peek into how they actually are in real life.

Admittedly, Jungwoo thought a lot of them could still be pretty fake. Yeah, some of the scheduled, regular videos felt like that, but the others were pretty close to what he’d seen at the dorms. A teeny bit more exaggerated, but still in the same line. The thought comforted him, somehow.

“And then there’s the fansign, which you can handle,” Ten says, his expression wistful. “Then the tour…”

Oh shit. There was the tour.

If he’s _this_ stressed before a comeback, how much more a tour?

Jungwoo must have made some sort of distressed face because Ten reaches over to squeeze his hand.

“Hey,” he says, making Jungwoo look at him. “If anyone can handle it, you can. I referred you for a reason.”

Taking a deep breath, Jungwoo offers a weak smile. “And I owe you for that. I guess I just need to get used to it all.”

Ten nods in understanding. “It’s a lot. I get that. I’ve _been_ through that. So trust me when I say you’re doing better than most. Anyone else out there would have collapsed at this point, and nothing has even actually started yet.”

It makes Jungwoo chuckle a little, and the way Ten gives another squeeze is comforting.

After a while of just eating in silence, Jungwoo remembers something he’d been meaning to ask.

“Has he always had trouble with sleeping?”

As the days neared, Mark would always call him in the dead of the night, and they would eat, maybe (attempt) to play a game, or just walk around. Jungwoo never protested about doing it, but he always wondered if the boy was getting the rest he should get.

At the look that passes over Ten’s face, Jungwoo knows Ten has most probably experienced it as well.

“Oh god, is it happening again?” He momentarily puts his fork down, his eyes wide. “I thought he stopped some time ago.”

“So it’s been happening a lot?” Jungwoo prompts, blindly stabbing at his food.

Ten nods, solemn. “He used to not sleep at all in the week before comebacks or performances. Survived on coffee or some energy drink, you know? It was bad. The whole thing took a toll on him and everyone around him.”

Jungwoo bites his lip. “Did it stop?”

“For a while, yeah. We found a doctor that was great at handling sleep disorders, and I took him there twice a week. It helped a lot, since he started getting more actual sleep, but things don’t just go away like that.”

It feels like a stone was dropped down Jungwoo’s stomach. “So what happened?”

Sighing, Ten rests his chin atop his laced fingers. “For some time, it was okay. He was getting enough sleep, or at least more than he used to, and we slowly got to wean him off of caffeine. But it comes back, even as we thought things were going to be just fine. He wouldn’t sleep for days on end, and coupled with the sheer exhaustion that came with promotions, it was a recipe for disaster. On the last stop of their last tour, he collapsed on the way to the airport when we were already about to go home. Had to reschedule _all_ of our flights last minute, saying that the group wanted to explore the area for one more day.”

Jungwoo remembers the vlog for that last stop. They were in Indonesia, and everything looked fine in the concert log. Another video was filmed that time, Jungwoo can estimate. It was of Jaemin, Jeno, and Donghyuck exploring one of the zoos in the area. That must have been the extra day they stayed in the country as Mark was brought back to a stable enough condition to go home.

He thinks back to the Mark he’s walked beside the past few nights. Jungwoo always tried to check if was showing any signs of something more serious, but always came up with nothing. In the mornings, he was the same Mark Lee that the world knew. It was hard to tell, then, if the concert log the day before Mark collapsed showed no signs at all.

“I need the number to the doctor,” he says resolutely. He wasn’t sure if it could help again, but he was willing to do what he could about the situation before it ended up in something like that again.

Rifling through his card holder, Ten pulls out a laminated business card, the name of the doctor stamped in neat, simple letters. “Can’t guarantee it will have better results this time around.”

Ten’s voice was somber, and it felt like another stone was dropped down Jungwoo’s digestive tract. 

“I’ll take anything at this point.”

The smile that meets him is sad. “You care a lot about him. Did that, too.”

Jungwoo sighs, fingertips running over the rim of his glass. “Hard not to.”

Ten lets out a laugh that’s more like a sharp exhale. “You’re right. It’s hard not to, when his company barely does. We can organize his schedule, make everything sail smoothly, buy him all the coffee in the world, but really, the best thing we can do for him is to care about him. He deserves that.”

Numbly, Jungwoo nods. “I just wish I could do something about that.”

“What, about his company and their treatment?” Ten chuckles, a hollow sound. “People might see us as their saviors, people that can do everything, but we’re just human, honey. Humans that don’t have the power of a major corporation in our hands. There are things we just cannot do.”

Finishing his drink, Jungwoo wishes Ten wasn’t right.

**Doyoung** **  
** **7:45am, 1 Hotel, New York City**

“I want to clear my schedule out for the day.”

Doyoung looks up from his iPad. “Oh? A-alright, we can do that.” The day didn’t have particularly important schedules anyways, so clearing it out wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

However, Taeyong was never one to cancel on anything, unless he was too sick to even function. Doyoung knows this, but he decides not to say anything.

They had ended up staying in New York because there were some other little things that popped up that Taeyong had to handle while he was in the city. Thankfully, Jaehyun had agreed to move the lunch date, understanding that Taeyong was going to be busy on the set time.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why?” Taeyong prompts, his mouth full of bread. There’s a gleam in his eyes.

“Why, then?” Doyoung obliges him.

“I want to explore the city,” he answers dreamily. “I don’t want to just be cooped up in meetings while I’m here. I want to experience the city, actually _live_ in it, just for the day.”

Methodically, Doyoung clears the schedule. As he sends off a few quick texts, he says, “Gotcha. Do you have anything you want to see?”

Taeyong’s sigh fills the room. “You’ve explored this city more than me. Surprise me, Doyoung.”

Almost instantly, Doyoung thinks of a few places, ones he’s visited at least once in their numerous trips to here. There was so much to explore, so much more to discover.

Humming, he lists down a handful, letting Taeyong peek at them. These are all places he’s chanced upon, places not quite on all the fancy tours from travel websites. Just where he thought was interesting enough to warrant a trip.

New York was a huge city, with buildings looming over them and larger-than-life personalities everywhere. But Doyoung loved the smaller, lesser-known stuff, like secrets he could hold close to his heart.

He could only hope that Taeyong would enjoy them too.

After breakfast, he lets Taeyong shower as he picks out an outfit for him. The colors are nice and warm, reflecting the first signs of fall. He pairs a maroon turtleneck with crisp, white pants, a long coat over it all. It’s classic and lowkey at the same time, something not too attention-grabbing. Perfect for the day ahead.

About an hour later, they’re both ready to go. Doyoung has his trusty blue coat over his clothes, thankful for its familiar warmth as they set out in the chilly morning.

“Should I call a car?” Doyoung asks, standing at the steps of the hotel as he takes his phone out.

Taeyong looks out for a moment, breathing in the New York air. “Let’s take a cab, like everyone else does. For the authentic experience, you know?”

Doyoung agrees, walking down the steps with him and waiting at the taxi terminal. When one comes, he opens the door for Taeyong, who steps in with ease.

Closing the door behind him, Doyoung tells the driver, “To Brooklyn Flea please.”

The taxi starts moving, so they settle back into their seats. It smells of newspaper ink and orange car freshener, and Doyoung finds that he doesn’t mind. He itches to take his iPad out, do _something_ , but they’ve cleared everything for the day after all.

He hears Taeyong take a deep breath beside him. His fingers are drumming idly on his lap, his eyes trained on the outside. Doyoung thinks for a moment that his reflection in the tinted windows that are a little faded reminds him of a child, wondering at all the new things he will see.

By the third pop song playing on the radio, Taeyong turns his face forward, looking amused.

“You’re getting my coffee from J&J now.” It wasn’t a question.

Doyoung hums, peeking out of his window to watch glass tower after glass tower pass by. “Do you like it from there? I can always buy from the usual cafe again.”

It’s silent for a while, but Doyoung thinks he hears Taeyong make a laugh-like exhale. “I like it.”

Turning to him, Doyoung says, “I forgot to tell you, but Jaehyun himself makes your coffee. Insists on it even.”

He sees Taeyong suppress a smile, licking his lips. “Tell him I said thank you.”

“Will do.”

The past few mornings were pretty much the same for Doyoung. He’d go to the cafe early, get himself something to drink and nibble on. Then, almost like clockwork, Jaehyun would arrive, smile at him, slide into the seat opposite him. After some conversation, he’d get up to make Taeyong’s coffee order, and he always managed to sneak in a pastry for Doyoung.

And when he’d come back to the hotel, there was always the text from Jaehyun. It was almost always just wishing that he’d have a great day, or he’d tell them about their new specialty cake for the next day. Doyoung always replied out of courtesy, and held the conversation for as long as he could. This was a man he couldn’t afford to piss off, so he always texted back.

“Oh,” Doyoung starts, softly, and Taeyong looks at him. “Why don’t you tell him yourself? I bet he’d be happy to hear it tomorrow.”

The tips of Taeyong’s ears are starting to pink. “I-I will.”

Because he doesn’t have anything else to do with his hands, Doyoung puts a hand on Taeyong’s knee, squeezing slightly. “Nervous?”

Taeyong scoffs, looking away. “You know how I am.”

Doyoung sits back, looking forward. He takes a deep breath. “All too well, I think.”

There’s Taeyong’s smirk in the rearview mirror. “Sometimes I think about whether that’s good or not.”

“In this case, it is.” Doyoung folds his hands in his lap, inhaling more of the orange car freshener.

Idly, Taeyong picks at a thread in his coat. “It’s just… I haven’t actually dated in a year and…”

“It’s scary,” Doyoung says. 

The last breakup was messy, and not just in PR nightmare terms. Sure, their faces were plastered on newspapers, magazines, gossip sites in South Korea and abroad, but Taeyong barely cared. Those didn’t affect him. The actual breakup did.

Calling things off with your boyfriend of 7 years wasn’t easy, and Doyoung realized that. They had been together for some time when Doyoung started working for Taeyong, and he’d seen enough of relationships crashing and burning to last a lifetime. It was hard to watch, but it wasn’t for Doyoung to meddle in.

Getting Taeyong out of the pit he built around himself was even harder. It took a lot of convincing, a lot of small steps, just slowly coming back to routine. But if he wasn’t going to do it, who would?

So he understands why he’d be scared. Baring his heart again wouldn’t be the easiest thing.

“You can take it slow, get a feel first of what it’ll be like with him,” Doyoung says. “He’s a nice guy, gentle and really kind, far as I can see. But it’s still up to you if you’re comfortable enough with having him in your life. If you are, then great, you can take it from there. If not, I can make sure you never have to chance upon him again.”

Taeyong bites on a knuckle. “Maybe I’d still go back for the coffee.”

Doyoung laughs this time, the sound filling the taxi. “Sure, we can always go back for the coffee.”

Then, in a much quieter voice, Taeyong says, “I just… hope that, you know.”

Nodding in understanding, Doyoung says, “I hope so too.”

He really, truly does.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **5:15pm, Neo Building, Cheongdam-dong**

Jungwoo comes back from a coffee run to what looks like a wall of flowers in the lobby of the Neo building. They shouldn’t really faze him at this point, but the sheer amount of them is a little overwhelming. The music video isn’t even set to release for almost a whole day, but people are excited.

Maneuvering around the flowers, he gets to the elevator without much trouble. The ride to the right floor is short, and Jungwoo plasters on his best smile. 

It was the beginning of possibly the most hectic schedule he’s handled so far, and he has to look like it’s a piece of cake.

On the way to the meeting room, he greets the staff that he chances upon. Most of them don’t know him yet, but it’s fine. People don’t need to know who he is.

Reaching the meeting room, he sees that all seven members are there already, as well as their managers. Jungwoo greets them, distributing the drinks amongst them. On the way to his own chair near Mark, he pats Jisung’s head fondly.

There are several wreaths and bouquets in this room as well, and their cloying scent fills Jungwoo’s lungs. If this is what it was going to be for the next few days, he might not know the scent of anything else.

“Alright, the music video teaser will be up in less than an hour,” one of the managers, Seulgi, says. “The camera crew will come here in a bit so that you can film your reaction to your own music video.”

It was a thing that their company did, let them watch their music video in advance. The footage would be released at least a week later, maybe up to a whole month later. 

“After we do that, you can take the rest of the night off. We’ll have a celebratory dinner later, with everyone.” She smiles softly at them, and Jungwoo sees their faces light up.

Despite the excitement in the room, he could still feel a nervous tension with them. He supposes that it was like this before every comeback, with the anticipation and all. Undoubtedly, their fans would love the album and what they put out, but it was never going to be easy to shake off the nerves.

During the second day of shooting for the music video (as he wasn’t there for the first), he definitely felt those nerves. Jungwoo was there in the hair and makeup room, flitting from place to place as he tried to talk to the members.

Despite only being Mark’s PA for a few weeks, they had warmed up quickly to him. Haechan had cuddled up with him on the couch as he waited for his turn, sometimes stealing sips from Jungwoo’s fruit tea. Jungwoo peered silently at the games the two youngest ones were playing on their phones, and Chenle even let him play a round. He had helped with their outfits as well, handing over the pieces from the racks and selecting the accessories.

It had felt nice. Sure, people were rushing everywhere and they had to change out of outfits and have slightly different styling for the next shots, but Jungwoo enjoyed it. Most everyone wasn’t rude, and the members’ playing around was amusing. 

At the set, it was like some kind of switch was flipped on. They easily went from kids horsing around to looking like they would ask to meet you in an alley. The whole thing caught Jungwoo off guard for a few moments, and Jaemin had laughed at how he was nearly gaping at them.

When they were being asked questions for the behind vlog, he could hear their answers from where he hung out in a beanbag. Most of them were excited for the end result, and were hoping that their fans liked it too. Some were nervous, understandably so. Pressure was put on them to release something good, and they wanted to rise to the challenge.

Jungwoo knew how much they value their fans and all the support they’re getting, and he understands that they would never want to disappoint them. From what he’d seen and heard though, he knew it would be hard to disappoint them, ever.

The camera crew arrives soon enough, with a simple set up for the filming of the reaction video. A huge screen behind Jungwoo is being prepared for the viewing, and Jungwoo scoots away to the side, out of range of the camera lenses. The boys huddle together, patiently waiting.

As the video is being pulled up, Jungwoo opens his Twitter. He knows that he’s gonna have to block at least 10 more antis when he searches the tags later, but for now, he just wants to see the hype for the teaser. It’s dropping in 15 minutes, and he knows people are either buzzing in excitement or still raving over the teaser photos yesterday.

Just as he was saving some of the reactions to show the boys later, he hears the sound of it starting, and he snaps his head up.

Instead of watching the music video, he watches the boys. They’re instantly excited, bouncing in their seats as they watch themselves appear on the screen. Cooing over each other’s close up shots and cheering during the chorus, it’s the best thing Jungwoo has seen yet. It was adorable seeing them be happy about their own hard work.

Suddenly, even just for a moment, the exhaustion is all worth it.

Later, back at the dorm, there are some bouquets in the living room as well. Jungwoo lets the kids rest for a bit and prepare for their dinner as he gathers up the bouquets to put somewhere else. 

He counts exactly eight, all with different arrangements and a variety of flowers. Jungwoo is about to bring one to each member it’s addressed to, when his eyes catch on a namecard.

 _To Jungwoo._ What? 

It’s a nice arrangement, a bit smaller than the others. The flowers are in pretty shades of yellow and orange, and Jungwoo can’t help but think of the last time he’s had something like this addressed to him. Taking the card out of the bouquet, he tries to see if there is any indication of who could’ve sent it. He can only find a message though with no sender, written at the back with a careful hand.

_You deserve one too for your hard work! Thank you for taking care of them <3 _

Just as he’s rereading it, Renjun steps into the room, going straight for the fridge. He waits as the boy gets a bottle of water before holding the bouquet up, his brows furrowed.

“Um, did you see anyone coming in to leave this here?”

It was a long shot, since the boys were busy since the morning, but it didn’t hurt to ask. Renjun raises his brows, looking at the bouquet for a moment. Not long after, his eyes light up in recognition.

“Oh. Lucas sent all the bouquets over. He’s our biggest fan, if you ask me.” Renjun snickers over his water. “Wanna bet he’s gonna send a cake over by tomorrow morning?”

Jungwoo stares at the bright yellow daffodils, running a finger over their soft petals. “Sure, I’ll bet you a thousand won.”

Renjun seems pleased by that, going back to his room. He leaves Jungwoo staring at the bouquet, wondering how he’s supposed to feel about it.

For the moment, he allows himself a tiny smile.

At the barbecue place, Jungwoo is seated right across Mark, who is telling a story about his experience at the salon a few days back. Jungwoo and the managers alternate in cooking the meat and placing the slices onto the members’ plates. Everyone is smiling and laughing, the food keeps coming, and everyone is content.

Jungwoo stands up at some point to take photos of everyone using _all_ the phones, and he’s vaguely aware of the noise they’re making, but he doesn’t particularly care. They deserved this, both the members and the staff, and they shouldn’t let themselves be held back too much. 

He thinks it’s great that the staff that work closely with the members care about them. The company doesn’t, that’s for sure, but the knowledge that a whole group of people love seeing the boys happy and content, supporting them all the way, it’s good enough.

As he’s carefully making a wrap for himself, the bell at the door of the barbecue place rings and in comes a familiar face. Almost the entire table waves at the newcomer, their smiles warm.

Lucas waves to all of them as he comes closer, saying hello to everyone. He either pats the members on the back or ruffles their hair, saving a hug for Mark. Soon enough, he squeezes in beside Jungwoo, flashing that megawatt smile.

“Hi,” he greets, taking the plate and chopsticks handed over to him. “Doing good?”

Jungwoo can’t really answer him with his mouth full of meat and rice, so he nods. Lucas bumps his shoulder just a little bit, before getting food for himself.

Remembering the bouquet from earlier, Jungwoo wants to ask about it. The gesture was sweet, and he didn’t expect it at all from someone he’s met only a handful of times. He knew that Lucas was just a nice person all in all, but it was still surprising.

When Lucas steals some of his japchae, Jungwoo turns to him the best that he could. “Were you the one that gave the flowers?”

Eyes widening and eyebrows shooting up, Lucas nods. “Yeah! Sorry, I wasn’t sure what flowers you liked.”

Jungwoo silently slides his bowl of noodles closer. “Thank you for them.” He turns back to his food, but he can feel the wide smile on Lucas’ face.

“No prob! Just thought you deserve some flowers too.” Lucas takes the bowl of japchae, bumping Jungwoo’s shoulder again. 

Making another wrap, Jungwoo says, “Honestly, I would’ve expected another pick-up line on the card.”

Lucas snickers around his mouthful. “Do you want one? I can do it now!”

Jungwoo bumps him with his knee. Lucas is laughing, the sound filling Jungwoo’s ears. “Some other time.”

“I’ll take you up on that.”

They don’t say much for a while, just listening in on the others’ stories while they ate their steaming food. Every now and then, Jungwoo would feed Lucas meat straight off the grill, and Lucas always opened his mouth like a baby bird. He’d feed Mark too, reaching over the table to give him spoonfuls. It was just a thing he did for people, a habit he never shook off after years.

Donghyuck notices, of course.

“Spoiling Lucas over there, huh?” he teases, nudging Jungwoo under the table.

Jungwoo gives him his best smile before giving Lucas another bite. “Of course. I’ve learned how to feed 5-year-olds years ago.”

Lucas almost chokes on the rice, shooting a look at him. Jungwoo only laughs, along with everyone else at the table.

When the laughter dies down and Jungwoo is met with Lucas’ pouting face, he grins at him, bribing him with more food. Lucas relents, chewing with that childish pout still on his face.

God, Jungwoo didn’t know he’d adopt another one. But as he listens to Lucas’ retelling of one of his wildest shoots and as he thinks of ways to convince him not to bring a cake in the morning, Jungwoo finds that he doesn’t mind.

**Doyoung** **  
** **11:30am, Brooklyn Flea Market, New York City**

“Do you think Ruby will like this?” Taeyong asks, holding a soft dog toy up. They’re at a stall that sells various things for pets, like homemade dog food and even some cute little outfits. The collars are brightly colored, with patterns that they haven’t seen at usual pet stores.

Doyoung tries to keep their cups of fruit tea balanced as he peers at the toy. “Mmm, yeah. But maybe she’ll like that one better?” Using his lips, he points to one that makes a sound when squeezed.

Reaching over, Taeyong gets the toy, a bright green dinosaur, and squeezes it a few times. He walks over to that part of the display, picking up similar ones.

In the end, they end up buying enough to fill a bag, which Taeyong is now swinging about. The market is full even on a weekday morning, and Doyoung finds that he likes this type of crowd. Everyone was walking at a pace that was enough so that they could look at each of the stalls until something piqued their interest, the smell of wood and flowers and warm food fills his lungs, and there’s just this easy feeling within everyone. Nothing felt like it had to be rushed.

They had already bought a few trinkets to take home, souvenirs for Taeyong’s friends and Doyoung’s family. Taeyong wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just strolling along until he found something he liked. Doyoung walked in step with him, pausing when Taeyong seemed to slow down and pulling him away from stuff they couldn’t really take home.

Truthfully, it had been a while since they slowed down and had a day like this. It hadn’t really been possible with what had been Taeyong’s busiest (and therefore, also Doyoung’s busiest) year so far, so all of this suddenly feels alien almost. The feeling is welcome, albeit a bit odd to them now.

It’s still very them though, with Taeyong excitedly pointing things out and Doyoung holding onto his wallet so he doesn’t spend it all in one go. Familiar habits, in a not-so-familiar place.

At another stall that sells tiny trinkets that would be great for gifts, Taeyong peruses through the display. He picks up a keychain, with an artfully rusted metal coffee cup hanging from it. “Is giving Jaehyun a gift right away a bit too much?”

Doyoung sips on his peach drink and strawberry drink. “Yes.”

Frowning, Taeyong sets the keychain down, looking at the other ones. “I’m thinking too much, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Doyoung answers, tilting Taeyong’s mixed berry concoction towards the man so he can take a sip. 

With a sigh, Taeyong only smiles kindly at the shop owner before turning away. Doyoung follows suit, the shopping bags bouncing against his leg.

“Do you think he has a type?” Taeyong muses, already engrossed in a display of vintage clothing. His tone just falls short of casual.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Doyoung warns, throwing over an embellished jacket that is right up Taeyong’s alley. “What his type is doesn’t matter.”

Taeyong slides his coat off, meaning to put the jacket on. Doyoung is there with an arm ready for his coat. “I just... What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Sweetie, you’re not fifteen anymore.” Doyoung comes over to smooth the shoulders of the jacket down, his fingers trailing through the tassels. “If he doesn’t like you, then that’s that. He’s missing out, then, I’m gonna tell you that.”

When Taeyong walks over to a grimy mirror to look at his reflection, Doyoung speaks up again. “‘You don’t have to keep changing for people to like you’, remember? That’s the first quote I got from you, even before I met you.”

He sees Taeyong sigh, before pulling his shoulders back and admiring the way the jacket looks on him. “Okay, okay.”

Doyoung pats his waist, peering over his shoulder to look at his eyes through the mirror. “He’s not going to be the end of it all, you know? You’re still Lee Taeyong, an award-winning music producer and overall an amazing person, and one man not liking you back won’t-and shouldn’t-change that.”

Taeyong laughs then, softly. He takes the jacket off and goes to the seller, waiting patiently as Doyoung pays for it. “I needed that.”

“Yes, you did.” Doyoung adds the paper bag to the ones on his arm. “Now, let’s get something to eat, yeah?”

They settle on a mix of food from different stalls, willing to try as much new things as they can. Thankfully, they find a table and some relatively wonky chairs, but it’s enough. Both take turns watching over their stuff and buying the food, and by the end, they have what can constitute as a full meal.

Setting down a container of fries topped with literally every possible unhealthy thing and two cans of Coke, Doyoung takes a seat. Taeyong is already halfway through his corndog, not even minding the way the mustard is getting smeared at the corners of his lips.

“Where to next?” he asks, fingers reaching for the fries. 

“Where do you want to go?”

Taeyong pouts at him. “I want you to choose. It’s always been my choice, but you know I have absolute faith in you.”

Humming, Doyoung thinks of a place. It should be somewhere memorable, not anything ordinary, and something that Taeyong would undoubtedly enjoy.

He thinks he knows just the place.

Just as they’re leaving, his phone pings with a message.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Does he like scarves?** **  
** **Or is getting him a gift this early too much lol**

Doyoung lets out a soft “oh”, which of course, Taeyong hears. He looks at Doyoung quizzically.

“Everything okay?” he asks, sipping on the last of his drink.

It takes a bit for Doyoung’s mind to respond. He stutters out a, “Yeah. All good.”

Taeyong nods, waiting patiently as Doyoung types out a quick reply.

 **[KIM DOYOUNG]** **  
** **No, it’s not too much** **  
** **He loves scarves!**

Pocketing his phone, Doyoung turns to face Taeyong. “On second thought, maybe we should get Jaehyun something. I’ll help you look!”

Doyoung holds the door open for Taeyong, who steps into the store with wide eyes. He hears the tiny gasp from Taeyong as he takes in their surroundings.

They’re at Jacques Torres Chocolate, a store that Doyoung had chanced upon on one of his many walks around the area. The interiors are all warm colors and wood, a homey feeling very present. It’s cozy, a place that is just in tune with the beginnings of autumn. 

As Doyoung carefully peruses the display for what Taeyong would want to try as the music producer is already looking at the bars of chocolate. He calls him over to sample some of the chocolate bites as they wait for the hot chocolate. Trying not to mind the way that Taeyong already has a handful of bars in a basket, he pops the first sample into his mouth.

It seems like it’s instant bliss for him, as Taeyong closes his eyes and chews slowly. He deflates a bit when it’s done, so Doyoung gives him another one. They breeze through the samples pretty easily, and Doyoung already knows that they might have to take home a whole box. Ah, Taeyong and his sweet tooth.

Truly, each piece is a whole new experience, and Doyoung finds himself swooning for quite a few of the ones they sampled. Okay, they might have to take home two boxes.

The hot chocolate arrives, and Taeyong immediately cups it in his hands as if warming himself. Doyoung turns away momentarily to get the two boxes of chocolate, choosing the ones they liked best. He has a feeling they won’t last until their flight home, and he makes a mental note to visit the shop again tomorrow.

When he returns, Taeyong has added a few more bars to his basket, and he’s silently staring at the cookies. Doyoung caves in and gets a cookie for him as well, letting him munch away as he pays for the bars of chocolate.

He finally settles into the other vacant seat, sipping at his hot chocolate. It’s got some spice to it, which surprises him. The perfect little treat with how chilly it’s been getting, he thinks.

Taeyong is bobbing his head to the soft music playing over the speakers, taking the smallest bites from his cookie so as to savor it. He resembles a happy kitten like this, and Doyoung tries not to think about how he hasn’t seen that expression in a while.

This relaxed Taeyong is someone he’d willingly welcome more often, if only it was possible. When the music producer asks him to take photos, Doyoung is silently thankful that it will be preserved, somehow. At least until the next time he sees him this content again.

His mind momentarily goes to the thought of Jaehyun. Kind, warm Jaehyun, with that smile that could thaw any iced-over heart out there. It might be a bit much to hope for it now, but he truly hopes that he could see Taeyong like this. Maybe even keep him in this state, if it was possible.

 _Too early_ , he chides himself. What becomes of them should not be something he thinks about. It’s not his place.

But when Taeyong brings up that he’s been texting Jaehyun for the past few days and there’s light in his eyes, Doyoung allows himself to hope for them.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, i'm @evnsangcvlt over on twt!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	4. something new

**Doyoung** **  
****6:10 am, J &J Cafe, New York City**

Jaehyun is already at the cafe when Doyoung arrives. The dark apron is over his clothes, gloved hands cradling a cup. He joins the staff in greeting the newcomer, but it isn’t until he looks up that he registers that it’s Doyoung.

“Good morning,” he greets warmly, momentarily disappearing to the claiming side to put down the coffee cup. When he returns, Doyoung already has the menu in his hands, peering at his options. “Would you want to try something new for today?”

Humming, Doyoung reads the items over and over, not quite able to decide. “Do you have any recommendations?”

He doesn’t have to look up to know that Jaehyun is smiling. “I’ll hook you up with today’s specials.”

Doyoung nods at that, gingerly putting back the menu. He takes his seat at his usual spot, where he’s able to see Jaehyun working behind the counter. It’s a bit of a routine now, one that he knows will end today. He doesn’t quite know how to feel about it.

In the short time he spends waiting, he checks on his messages. There are a few from his brother, asking him already if he can spend the holidays with their family. It would be the first time they have a chance at being complete during the holidays, as both Gongmyung and Doyoung are usually not even in Korea during that time. Taking a deep breath, Doyoung sends back the only reply he can: **_I’m not sure yet._ **

Before he can open one from Yeri, one of his PA friends, a tall glass smelling faintly of flowers is placed in front of him, along with a baked pastry. Jaehyun slides into the seat opposite him, as he always does.

“It’s a butterfly pea latte,” Jaehyun explains, gesturing to the dark blue liquid in their signature clear glasses. There’s swirls of white in it, like clouds in a deeply azure sky. “And an apple-almond turnover. We’re trying out new things for the autumn.”

Doyoung hums, taking the drink into his hands. He sips on it, making a little surprised noise at how it tastes. The concoction looks sweet, but it’s mellow, the herbal taste of the tea coming through despite the milk. A hint of vanilla is laced through it, subtle but a nice addition.

Jaehyun studies him for a bit, his eyes expectant. “Is it okay? Or should we make it sweeter?”

Taking another sip, Doyoung mulls it over for a moment. “They like it sweet here, no?” he asks in English.

There’s a nod from the other man, and the sunlight makes his eyes look like they have golden flecks in them. Doyoung wills himself to look away.

“I like it as it is. It’s familiar, in a good way.” _The color is interesting though_ , he notes to himself. It makes the drink look foreign, despite it tasting like the milk tea he would sometimes get back home. 

“We’re thinking of making a warm version too,” Jaehyun says, so softly it almost seems like he’s saying it to himself. “Would that make it better?”

“Yes,” Doyoung answers, already cutting a small bite of the pastry. “It might look weird to people at first, though.”

Jaehyun nods again, small smile present on his lips. “Yeah, we thought that too. We’re gonna see if people take to it. We want to deviate from the usual warm-colored drinks of the season.”

Doyoung makes a noise of acknowledgement, then raising his fork to his mouth. The pastry almost instantly melts upon contact with his tongue, buttery and slightly sweet, a bit of the apple and almond coming through the more he chews. 

He gestures at the pastry, nodding to signal that he likes it. The smile on Jaehyun’s face widens, his dimples showing.

“Do you make these?” Doyoung asks idly, trying to fill the silence. He’s never really had to do that, as their silences were usually comfortable, but it’s probably the last time in a while that they’ll see each other. It wouldn’t hurt to get some more conversation in than usual.

Jaehyun chuckles. “Me? No.” When Doyoung wordlessly offers him a bite, he declines politely. “We’ve got a team of skilled bakers that develop these, and we test it out on all the branches. If it’s a hit, we keep offering it.”

“I don’t think I’ve tasted anything here that wasn’t a hit,” Doyoung says casually, taking another bite. This one has more of the apples, tart and sweet in a way that complements the almond paste coating them.

In the morning light, Doyoung sees Jaehyun’s ears go pink. God, he blushes like Taeyong too.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun tells him, voice the teeniest bit strained, like he’s shy.

After a few more bites, Doyoung remarks, “You have a lot of branches, right?” At Jaehyun’s nod, he continues. “Why’re you always here?”

He thinks he sees the other man’s eyes widen slightly. Something flashes across his face, which disappears when he just laughs. “I can’t visit all of them. Besides, this one’s my favorite.”

“Why?” Doyoung takes another sip of his blue drink. It looks more like a clear day sky now.

There are a few beats before Jaehyun answers. “This one’s not the first branch, but it’s special. Lots of memories in this one.” He smiles, warmer than the sunlight. “This one’s the prettiest, I think.”

Doyoung only hums, eyes darting momentarily to his watch. Twenty minutes past six. He still has time.

“I’ll bring Taeyong to visit this one, as well as all the other ones next time,” he says. The other branches were in different parts of the city, and a handful of other cities. He knows the music producer would delight in them.

Something seems to suddenly register in Jaehyun. “Oh, yeah. Last day today, right?”

“Mmhmm.” Doyoung finishes off the turnover, dabbing at the corners of his mouth for crumbs. 

“So...your last cup of tea here, then?” The smile is still there, but Doyoung thinks it’s somewhat sad.

“Yeah,” he answers, offering a smile of his own. “Sadly. For a while, anyways.”

Jaehyun shifts in his seat, letting out a tiny sigh. “Sadly.”

Doyoung tilts his head at him. “Taeyong-” He holds his tongue, realizing that he had told Taeyong that he should thank Jaehyun himself.

An eyebrow raises at him, and Doyoung just thinks of something else to say. “Taeyong’s excited for later,” he tells him, looking down at his drink to avoid Jaehyun’s eyes.

“Do you think we’ll get along?” Jaehyun asks sincerely.

Smiling to himself, Doyoung says, “I think you’ll get along just fine.”

Jaehyun wasn’t a clone of Taeyong or anything, but the similarities were enough for them to be undoubtedly comfortable with each other. Even now, Doyoung could already see them bonding over quite a few things.

It was great, honestly. He seemed to be the most ideal one out of the other dating conquests the music producer had had over the past year, and Doyoung has a pretty good feeling that he’s not going to have to clean up any more messes with this one. Everyone wins.

For a few moments, Jaehyun is silent, just looking down at his hands that are clasped on top of the table. When he stands, Doyoung follows with his gaze.

“I guess I’ll have to make his last cup of coffee from here, yeah?”

Doyoung stands as well, collecting his things. He follows him to the counter, like he always does. He thinks again about how he’ll break this routine by tomorrow.

“I trust it won’t be his last coffee from here for all time,” Doyoung tells him.

Jaehyun only grins at him behind the counter, warmer than the almost-fall light. Doyoung doesn’t want to think about how he won’t see it for a while.

**Jungwoo** **  
****8:30am, Dreamie Dorm, Samseong-dong**

In all his 25 years, Jungwoo never thought he’d be happy about a cake arriving a little late.

“You smooched him, didn’t you?” Renjun squints at him, his bleached blonde hair mussed from sleep. “Bribed him with that so that he’ll bring the cake later and you don’t lose the bet.”

“I did no such thing,” Jungwoo replies, sounding offended, not even looking up from his laptop. “Maybe he’s just sleeping in, you know.”

The boy doesn’t seem to believe that in the slightest. “I have three and a half hours more.”

“I’ll inform you when it comes.” Jungwoo meets his eyes, smiling. “Oh sorry, _if_.”

Renjun only scoffs and goes back to his room. 

Truth is, Jungwoo really didn’t do anything. He only casually mentioned the bet to Lucas in the elevator, and he swears he didn’t try to convince the guy or anything. Jungwoo just talked about it, that’s it. It was on Lucas to do anything about it.

And that he did, apparently, as Jungwoo already saw Lucas smile at him in the hallway an hour ago, with no cake in sight.

They were all leaving in a bit, and Jungwoo wanted to savor some last few moments of (relative) peace. Most of the boys were slowly waking up, getting some sustenance into their systems or taking showers to get energized. They already had a system to them, and Jungwoo just let them do their own thing.

There were going to be stylists at the set of the Dispatch shoot, so they really didn’t have to do much. Despite the comeback happening in less than 10 hours, everything was deceptively calm. Jungwoo has learned not to trust that.

Already, he was anticipating penciling in a dozen more schedules, hauling up even more gifts, clearing out searches, and possibly losing both his thumbs in an attempt to tap the hearts for their Vlives. He’s also read up on streaming guides, and was just going to pray that his data could hold up in the next few weeks. All of the needed accounts are ready, and Jungwoo feels like he’s preparing for battle.

More than that, he was anticipating the most likely endless coffee runs he’s going to have to make. The boys had back to back schedules, with many stretching into the night. Many things were about to happen, and it didn’t matter if he was or wasn’t ready for it. He had to be (or pretend he was, at the very least).

Everyone was excited, he could tell. The comeback had been long awaited, and the concept wasn’t anything close to what they had been doing with the past few comebacks. Even as Jungwoo himself hasn’t listened to any of the songs yet, he could clearly see that everyone was enjoying them. The title track wasn’t even out yet, but he knew it was going to be a hit.

Most people would probably say he’s biased (and maybe he is), but judging on their past songs and whatever snippets he heard at the shoots where they played the songs, he already loved them. He guesses that he needs to love it, because it’s possibly all he’ll hear in the weeks (months maybe) to come.

Jungwoo hadn’t been there for most of the preparations for the album. He didn’t know about everything that had happened before he was hired as Mark’s PA, but it didn’t really matter. He was here now, and he had seen everyone work hard in the weeks, days leading to the comeback. Jungwoo didn’t have to see everything to be immensely proud of them.

And okay, call him really biased or whatever, but he was absolutely grateful for Mark. There were schedules he had to attend to that weren’t necessarily for this particular comeback, but he never complained. He went to each one, gave it everything he’s got, and was still ready for the next one. Mark still lead his group like he wasn’t fatigued at all. He would laugh with them, even sent messages to their fans. It would’ve looked like an impossible feat.

If only Jungwoo didn’t know. That was the thing about this job, he finds out about too much. Even when barely anyone could see it, he knew Mark was tired, exhausted beyond compare. Jungwoo found it hard to be completely proud if it meant the toll that it had on Mark’s health. It was needed, yes, but he always found himself wishing that the idol didn’t have to constantly be as bone-tired as he was.

Thankfully, they found some time to go to the doctor. Dr. Moon was accommodating, gentle with Mark in a familiar way. Although Jungwoo sensed that the doctor was also a bit surprised at Mark being back, he did what he could to make him comfortable. Mark still wasn’t sharing absolutely everything, but the doctor was willing to take the little steps needed to help him get better sleep.

It had started to work, Jungwoo had noticed. Mark was at least getting some more rest somehow, and it was comforting. Even though that might be disrupted again over the next weeks, Jungwoo hopes that their progress won’t be completely lost. Almost imperceptible changes, but changes all the same.

Not very long after, everyone is set to leave. Jungwoo closes his laptop, choosing to leave it for the day. His phone was armor enough for now. 

In the van, Jungwoo could easily pick out the the tuft of purple hair at the front of the vehicle. He thinks about how everyone else he’s ever worked for were in positions of power and never really had to worry about much other than their failing marriages and their seven course meals giving them an allergic reaction.

He thinks about how so many things are unfair, and how he can’t help with everything.

After the start of many long days to come, the group stumbles back into their dorm. Mark flops down unceremoniously on the couch, and the others flop on top of him, enveloping him in a hug. There’s a lot of squirming around, lots of elbows and grabby hands, and smiles that didn’t seem like they were leaving any time soon.

The album had debuted at the top of the charts, every single social media account being flooded with congratulations and hearts the color of their group. Jungwoo had shown Mark first, who was in disbelief for a few seconds just as everyone else huddled in. Belatedly, he wished he could have captured the moment, the sheer joy on their faces. It had been hard for them to focus on the video they were shooting then, faces breaking into a grin, and it warmed Jungwoo’s heart.

They deserve it, all of them, so Jungwoo lets them wrestle around in their suffocating embrace for a bit more.

He’s putting away another batch of gifts when the doorbell to the apartment rings. Jungwoo really should’ve expected who would be on the other side when he opens it, the man’s voice loud and excited as he holds a box in the air with one hand.

The smile on Lucas face is enough to light up this entire part of town, and his voice gets all their heads turning. They scramble off the couch, off of Mark, to hug the tall man excitedly. How Lucas manages to hold the cake away safely is a mystery, and Jungwoo admires him for it.

The box is set down on the kitchen countertop, opened to reveal a carefully decorated cake the color of the group, and everyone is huddling around again. Jungwoo calls everyone, including the managers, to gather around the cake. It’s pressed into Mark’s hands, and even before Jungwoo even raises his phone to take a photo, he can see that his grin is one of the happiest he’s seen.

He catches Renjun’s glare at him before he takes the shots. Not that Jungwoo minds it. After he’s taken photos with all the phones handed to him, he sidles up next to Lucas, watching as the boys cut into the cake.

 _Thank you,_ he mouths, bumping shoulders with the model.

Lucas grins at him, tentatively putting a friendly arm around him as they let the Dreamies practically attack the cake.

 _Maybe it’s worth it_ , he thinks. Just for that moment of time, Jungwoo allows himself to think that it is.

**Doyoung** **  
****11:45am, 1 Hotel, New York**

Doyoung hands the tiny wrapped gift over to Taeyong in the car on the way to the restaurant, watching as Taeyong pockets it in his coat.

“Are you ready?” he asks, peering out the window to watch the now more familiar scenery pass by.

“No,” Taeyong answers almost immediately. He pauses. “Yes. I don’t know.”

Gently, Doyoung places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “It’s going to be okay. The table is in a nice, quiet nook and you can look out at their garden from it. I already ordered the wine and the chef’s tasting menu, so no need to think about that. I’ll be in the store near the restaurant, and I’m reachable by text or call, which you can do at any time you can sneak it in. I can get you out there if you just say the word, you know that. Jaehyun is on his way too, so you’ll arrive at almost the same time.”

Taeyong nods at everything, taking deep breaths to steel himself. Doyoung squeezes his shoulder again.

“You can do this,” he says, voice as firm but reassuring as possible. “If it goes well, then you can take it from there. If it doesn’t, we can leave it behind once we board the plane later.”

Although his next inhale is shaky, Taeyong sits up a little more. “I can do this.”

“Yes, you can.”

One of Taeyong’s hands go up, covering Doyoung’s still on his shoulder. “I’m gonna get my mans,” he says, with such conviction it makes Doyoung smile.

“Yes, you are.”

True to Doyoung’s estimation, they both arrive within minutes of each other, with Jaehyun’s sleek black car pulling up next to theirs as Doyoung is already walking up to the double doors. Doyoung catches them exchange smiles before he turns to tell the concierge that they have a reservation. 

_Per Se_ is one of many restaurants that the music producer has eyed for quite a while, but never really got the chance to try before now. The high ceilings gave the place an airy feel, contrasting with the dark wood panels lining the walls. Robin’s egg blue chairs added a subtle pop of color, anchored with simple tables topped in white. Warm light filters in from outdoors, casting everything into a dreamy glow.

In no time, the pair are lead to their table, and Doyoung bids them a quick goodbye, telling them to enjoy. Taeyong’s smile may look a tad on the nervous side, but Doyoung shoots him a hopefully comforting one, and he sees some of the tension melt away. Before he turns to leave, he catches Jaehyun’s eye as well, giving him that same smile. As always, Jaehyun returns it.

By the time that Doyoung arrives at the Moleskine store two floors down, his phone pings in his pocket. Doyoung greets the salespeople first before pulling out his phone.

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****I wanna take pictures but also I’m shy**

Doyoung runs his hands absently over a plastic wrapped planner as he types out a response.

 **[DOYOUNG]** **  
****Don’t be shy!** **  
****Come on, I need to live vicariously through you**

He’s just picked up a case that can fit his iPad when he hears another ping. As he takes his phone out again, another ping follows it.

The first text is, a bit surprisingly, from Jaehyun.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****Is it socially acceptable to take pictures of each other on the first date or nah**

Oh god. Doyoung doesn’t even believe in fate but he might have to make an exception.

Because it’s more ingrained in him to reply to Taeyong first, he checks the message.

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****_5 image attachments_ ** **_  
_** **First course!** **  
****Didn’t know oysters could be sweet? o.o**

 **[DOYOUNG]** **  
****Looks good!**

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****We should go here together next time ;;** **  
****Whenever next time is**

 **[DOYOUNG]** **  
****We can** **  
****Go enjoy first!** **  
****Please tell me you’re talking to your date : <**

As he lets Taeyong type out a reply, he opens Jaehyun’s message again.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****Is it socially acceptable to take pictures of each other on the first date or nah**

 **[KIM DOYOUNG]** **  
****...Yeah?** **  
****Go ask him yourself, Jaehyun haha**

The “haha” at the end wasn’t entirely his thing, but he didn’t want to seem like he was bossing the CEO around. Even though it seemed like he might have to steer the pair into some form of conversation at this point.

Taeyong’s reply comes just as he’s perusing through the different-sized notebooks. He was thinking of bringing some back to his parents, maybe a couple of the staff at the company that he’s close with.

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****...I’m trying** **  
****We’re both not great at this talking thing apparently** **  
****Also here’s the second dish** **  
****_7 image attachments_ ** **_  
_** **I’m trying to decide if I like it**

Looks like Doyoung really needs to get in. Also, even if he’s seen the tasting menu, he has no idea what is on that plate.

 **[DOYOUNG]** **  
****Ask him about his ventures into film** **  
****He’s only starting with it, along with his business partner Johnny Seo**

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****Luv u, u know that?**

He’s just finished reading Taeyong’s message when a notification from Jaehyun shows on the top of his screen.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****I told u to call me Jae** **  
****And I’ll ask him maybe in the middle of the 6th course maybe** **  
****Maybe a shot with us toasting our glasses together?** **  
****Hmmmm**

 **[KIM DOYOUNG]** **  
****Oh my god I can’t take the both of you**

Thankfully, he has a while of peace, where he picks out a few items. A case for him, a sketchbook for taeyong and a pouch for his art supplies, and a planner for Kun, one of the managers at Neo Ent. This particular branch definitely has items he could never find back at home, so he makes use of the opportunity.

The next text comes when he’s already walking out, in search of where to eat his own lunch.

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****He’s so cute haha**

If there was anything Doyoung has learned in his years with Taeyong, it’s how to decipher what his “haha”s meant.

 **[DOYOUNG]** **  
****You okay over there, sweetie?**

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****Nope haha** **  
****He’s so cute hhhhfghghaha p(*＾-＾*)q**

Doyoung is about to type a reply when Jaehyun’s name pops up on his screen. Reading the notification, he furrows his brows. Rereads it to make sure he didn’t read it wrong. Opens the message and reads it for the third time.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****Taking him to the McDonald’s nearby because there’s no way this lunch is enough**

He’s staring at it, nearly gaping, and almost misses the notification from Taeyong.

 **[TAEYONG]** **  
****Btw, going to leave in about 15 minutes! (*＾v＾*)**

Doyoung hasn’t even fully registered it before he’s automatically dialing up the driver of the car they usually get. Even when he’s already telling the driver that they are going to leave soon and go to the McDonald’s, it still hasn’t dawned on him.

When he ends the call and stares at the crowd slowly passing him in the mall, he realizes. The pair is going to a McDonald’s after a several hundred dollar meal because of course, they’re hungry and maybe just had a little too much wine.

They’re so made for each other, Doyoung thinks, as he slumps into a nearby bench and waits for them to come.

At the McDonald’s, the person manning the cashier remains deadpan as Jaehyun orders a flurry of food that Doyoung can barely keep up with. They manage to carry the three hefty trays to the last remaining table in the restaurant, and they cramp themselves in, their long limbs and all. Nobody seems to mind them though, even as Doyoung worries that somebody might recognize Taeyong and Jaehyun, and cause some sort of stir.

Jaehyun notices, so he practically shoves the large Coke into his face. “It’s okay, nobody here really cares.”

It pacifies him for a bit, and he sips at his drink. He’s reminded that it’s been a while since he’s had any soda, and he winces a little at the fizz that almost hurts.

Taeyong is practically buzzing, excitedly talking with Jaehyun about one of his recent projects. _He’s glowing_ , Doyoung notes. Taeyong is glowing in a cramped fast food restaurant as he’s shovelling down food that Doyoung hasn’t seen him eat in over a year. He seems to barely care that he’s getting drops of vanilla ice cream and fudge on his Prada sweater.

And it’s good. It’s the best mood he’s seen him in since he successfully finished writing his last EP and Doyoung treated him to his dessert bar. This might be even better. He almost forgets that he’s here as a kind-of thirdwheel (oh, he _definitely_ is). 

On the other hand, Jaehyun is mostly quiet, but he’s attentive. Like he takes in every single thing that Taeyong is saying, tries to keep them for later. Doyoung has seen other men lose interest halfway into the conversation about whatever Taeyong’s working on, but Jaehyun looks genuinely fascinated. He’d ask questions between bites of his burger, and Taeyong always happily answers.

They’re cute, Doyoung decides. Someone to listen, someone who actually _cares_ about what Taeyong has to say instead of brushing off his enthusiasm. Whenever Jaehyun speaks, be it a question or a little anecdote about an experience he’s had, Taeyong is invested as well. They’re still a little awkward around the edges, but it’s the fastest he’s seen them ease around another person. He may not know Jaehyun all that well, but he could tell that he wasn’t tense around Taeyong at all.

He has high hopes for them.

Before they leave in the car that Doyoung has called for them, the pair stand by the McDonald’s entrance, hesitant to say goodbye.

“Guess I won’t see you for a while, huh?” Jaehyun says quietly. The smile on his lips is strained.

Taeyong is pulling his sweater sleeves over his palms, looking a little shy. “I’ll try to come back soon,” he assures. Doyoung isn’t sure if it’s the gently setting sun that’s making him look a bit red. “I still haven’t gone to your cafe.”

“I’ll take you,” Jaehyun promises. “To all of them. I promise.”

This makes Taeyong giggle, and he’s immediately trying to hide his face behind a sweater paw. “I promise to text!”

“And I promise to listen to all your music. I swear it.” The dimples come out when he smiles now, and Doyoung is sure that Taeyong is positively blushing.

It takes a few more minutes of them delaying the goodbyes, and Doyoung waits patiently by the car. They do end at some point, and he watches as they both fumble with a hand shake that turns into them just squeezing each other’s hands.

In the car, Doyoung doesn’t say anything as Taeyong collects himself, making dreamy sighs every now and then. He also seems to bite down on his sweater paw, and Doyoung doesn’t have to see it to know.

When they’re already far from the McDonald’s, he gently asks, “So. Wanna talk about it?”

Taeyong is silent for a moment, and then he’s shaking his head, still smiling widely behind his hand.

Doyoung chuckles. “I’ll try to ask you on the flight.”

He hears Taeyong make another sigh. Doyoung reaches out a hand, squeezing the one that Taeyong has on his lap. Taeyong squeezes back, still so very happy, and it makes Doyoung chuckle even more.

At the corner of their hotel, Doyoung’s phone pings.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****Thank you for today! :D**

 **[KIM DOYOUNG]** **  
****I think you meant to send that to Taeyong haha**

Jaehyun’s reply comes just as their car is pulling up to the hotel entrance.

 **[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
****Can’t I thank you too?** **  
****Thank you for today, Doyoung. I mean it.** **  
****Have a safe flight home!**

Doyoung looks up as Taeyong’s getting out of the car, the smile still on his face. He wonders briefly what Jaehyun texted him, but that isn’t for him to know.

He doesn’t quite have a reply for the text he got.

**Jungwoo** **  
****9:00am, Dreamie Dorm, Samseong-dong**

Inside Mark and Donghyuck’s shared room, Jungwoo tiptoes to the bedside table, setting down two cups of coffee, breakfast wraps that he had microwaved, and some cups of fruit. Not much really, and he wasn’t entirely sure either of them would actually eat before leaving for their first music show appearance, but it was worth a shot.

Mark is in his hoodie from yesterday, but he’s changed into pajama pants at least. One of his legs is sticking out of his blankets, and he’s still very much asleep. Donghyuck is in his own bed, oversized shirt dwarfing him. He snuggles further into the sheets at the merest sound, and Jungwoo has a feeling he hasn’t been sleeping for very long.

Jungwoo knew that Mark had an alarm, and he’s seen Donghyuck chuck a pillow in his direction whenever the alarm blared. Or in general, whenever Mark got up and moved around the room in the morning, Donghyuck would protest, burying his face into his pillow. _Mark is loud in the mornings,_ he had told Jungwoo one morning, all bleary-eyed and downing the coffee Jungwoo brought.

He’s learned that nobody in this group was really fond of mornings. It certainly didn’t help that the days were getting colder and the undeniable pull of a warm bed was becoming even more present. Jungwoo understands, but that doesn’t mean they can afford sleeping in right now.

Gently, Jungwoo slides his hand under Mark’s pillow, reaching for his phone. Quickly, he unlocks it and turns off the alarm. He’s done this before (with permission of course), and it’s made mornings somewhat more peaceful. At least on this end, anyways.

Once he’s done, he starts to wake Mark. Dr. Moon advised that he should be careful with doing this, so as not to disrupt him too much. The idea was to gradually pull him out of sleep, instead of jolting him awake.

Fingers softly threading through Mark’s locks, he starts the routine. First, he says Mark’s name, seeing if he reacts to it. Sure enough, the boy grumbles, turning slightly in his sleep. Jungwoo then takes one of Mark’s hands, gently massaging all the points he was taught to. Then, quietly, Jungwoo starts singing.

He’s never been all that good, but nights in the karaoke room with his friends proved he wasn’t terrible at least. The doctor suggested that he try to pull Mark out of sleep with singing if the other steps didn’t quite work. 

The song is vaguely familiar, been in his playlist for some time now. He doesn’t really remember the title, but it doesn’t matter. This song almost always wakes Mark, even though he’s not sure why.

Jungwoo makes sure that his voice is quiet enough to not wake the roommate, still dozing off peacefully in the other bed. He isn’t sure he wants to face the embarrassment of being heard by the group’s lead vocal. 

Finishing the chorus and humming the rest, he sees Mark open his eyes, albeit reluctantly. For a few moments, he stares at the ceiling, barely registering that Jungwoo is there.

“Good morning,” Jungwoo whispers, and Mark turns to him. He helps the boy sit up, watching as Mark presses his knuckles into his eye sockets. A sigh escapes him.

“Time to get up?” he asks, and although his voice is pretty deep, the tinge of an almost childlike tone is still there. Jungwoo nods, reaching over to the table to hand him the coffee and the wrap. Mark stares at them blankly.

“It’s so early,” he whines with his eyes closed, but he takes a sip of the coffee anyway. 

Jungwoo pulls the tangled blankets off of him so that he won’t be tempted to stay in bed. “I know. Come on, you know that we need to get to the venue early.”

Mark nods, yawning. He’s already halfway through his drink when he thinks of peeling back the paper packaging of the wrap. “I know.”

Within a few minutes, he’s up and out of bed, still munching on the wrap. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to trip over or bump into anything, so he makes it out of the room with relatively no noise. 

As Jungwoo turns to wake the other boy, he’s surprised to see him sitting up already, his hair sticking up in odd directions. Donghyuck seems to squint at him.

“You’ve got a nice voice,” he says, just as Jungwoo’s handed him his cup. 

Jungwoo doesn’t falter or feel himself blush, but he’s embarrassed all the same. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he says with a chuckle, helping Donghyuck out of his blankets.

Donghyuck looks at him straight on, gaze still piercing even as he’s still groggy. “It was nice. I swear.”

Humming, Jungwoo chooses not to reply. He doesn’t know what to reply anyways. Looking at the boy, he suppresses the urge to smooth his hair down.

Donghyuck is still staring at him. “Did you know what song you sang?”

Jungwoo shakes his head. He gives Donghyuck is wrap to have something to do. “No, sorry. It’s just been in my playlist for a while.”

A slow smile spreads across Donghyuck’s face. “It’s one of ours.”

This makes Jungwoo look up at him again. “Oh? I never knew.”

The smile doesn’t leave Donghyuck’s features. “It was one of our first ones. Surprised you even know it.”

And because he has nothing else to reply, he says, “It works to wake Mark up, for some reason.”

Donghyuck considers this in silence, eyes darting momentarily to the empty bed opposite his. He only nods, and turns back to Jungwoo to thank him for breakfast.

Jungwoo knows that it’s his sign to leave the boy to whatever he needs to do.

“ _That’s_ how it works?” Jungwoo asks Minseok, one of the managers. He’s just witnessed how comeback stages were filmed, and it wasn’t quite how he expected.

“Mmhmm,” Minseok hums next to him, beaming at the Dream members on the stage. “Makes it look better in the videos to be uploaded. This is their first stage for this comeback, so there might still be some mistakes that we’ll edit over.”

Mutely, Jungwoo nods, watching as the boys went through the second round of filming in their current outfits. They’d have to change later on, and film all over again.

They’re on a set that’s honestly impressive, recreating a scene from their music video but making it at least a hundred times better. No expense was spared in the creation of the set, that’s for sure. Honestly, Jungwoo didn’t expect the random bursts of flame either, but hey, it worked.

Undoubtedly, the video is going to come out even better than he’d expect, even as he’s reviewed the shots they took. Jungwoo feels excitement bubble up in him.

When the filming ends, Jungwoo is ready backstage with a box of tissues. The stylist gives her thanks as she sticks folded up tissues under their fringes, absorbing any sweat they have. They’ll have to change pretty quickly, but they’re used to it. 

Everything’s a blur, really, as they change into their second set of outfits and their makeup and hair are tweaked in record time. Jungwoo manages to hand out water to all of them, sticking the straws into the bottles so they could sip without ruining any of their makeup.

They’re back out in what feels like a blink. The cheers are still as loud as before, and Jungwoo marvels at the endurance of these fans. 

He knows that it gets the boys going, to perform in front of their fans like this. They loved it, that was obvious. Something about doing this in front of these people that cheer for them, Jungwoo can see all traces of tiredness melt away from everyone.

This time, the director is pleased with the first round of performing, so thankfully they don’t have to do it again. Their faces may be fierce for the ending shots, but as soon as their backstage, their proud grins are irreplaceable.

Jungwoo hurries back with more water for them just as Mark leads them for their chant. Standing by the side, he watches as the members join in enthusiastically, even as they’re still somewhat panting from their performance.

When they’re done, Jungwoo distributes the water, pulling out handfans for each one to use. He sees Jisung and Chenle sink into chairs, the brightly colored fans not much of an inch from their faces. Jeno and Donghyuck are letting their jackets pool by their wrists, wanting the cool airconditioning to reach their skin. Mark squeezes into the couch between Renjun and Jaemin, gulping down the water.

Pulling up a chair, Jungwoo smiles at them. “You all did so well.” 

There are proud little smiles on their faces, and Jungwoo watches as Jaemin throws an arm around Mark. “It’s good to be back on the stage.”

Another schedule awaits them after this, but Jungwoo allowed them the moments of peace. None of them would get much of it from now on, so might as well savor it.

Later, just before leaving, one of them initiates a group hug. Even as Jungwoo wasn’t able to see how it started, he sees how they all squeeze together, still in that happy daze they had been since the night before. This morning, they found out that they had sold well over half a million albums already, an achievement they never thought they’d be close to getting. There were tears, and jumping around, and the constant words of gratefulness. Nothing else has to matter right now. 

It was his job to think about the other things anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i procrastinated way too much on this chapter ;;  
> thank you so much for sticking around! <3  
> kudos, bookmarks, comments very much appreciated~
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/evnsangcvlt)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	5. a bit much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how this got to almost double my usual length for chapters but uh, well *shrugs*

**Jungwoo** **  
** **5:23pm, Neo Building, Cheongdam-dong**

“Okay, how about we run through the options again?”

Mark sips on his milk tea (jasmine, 50% sweetness and 25% ice, with additional pearls) as he peers at Jungwoo’s laptop. “What were my options again?”

“You currently have 4 options,” Jungwoo tells him. “First is Spiderman, the Miles Morales one.”

Chewing on the milk tea pearls thoughtfully, Mark pouts. “Do you think that’s mainstream or nah?”

Jungwoo raises his brows, nodding. “A bit, yeah.”

“Okay, not that.” Jungwoo scrolls down.

Choosing a Halloween costume has never really been easy. People are competitive during this time of year. Jungwoo has had to choose costumes for everyone from 5 year old twins that absolutely refuse to match to 40 year old men who are very keen on dad jokes to a 20-something year old actress that wanted the most terrifying costume possible. 

A well-thought Halloween costume that looks almost effortless is key. It has to be recognizable, look good in photos, and memorable. Comfort usually comes last, as he’s learned.

However, for Neo Ent Halloween parties, he needs to consider a costume that Mark can actually dance in. Plus, it needs to hold long enough even after everyone’s woozy from dancing and their drink of choice for all the photos that will be taken. Narrows the list down considerably.

The parties were always the true test. Will your costume hold? Will it make you unable to socialize? Will it secure you as a Best Costume candidate and get you the chance to be in the top results for Halloween costumes? 

He’s had to bring double sided tape, hundreds of safety pins, and mini fans to all the parties that he just made himself a “wardrobe emergency kit”. Most of the time it’s not as hard to get them into a costume, it’s making sure that it stays on and mostly intact.

“Next one is Saeroyi.” He furrows his brows at this.

Mark chokes on a pearl. “I don’t know why I even considered that. I sure as hell am not shaving my head.”

“Agreed.” Jungwoo reads the next one silently, immediately frowns at it. “Maybe not this one either.”

There’s a sound of protest from beside him. “What’s wrong with this one?”

Taking a sip from his own milk tea (taro, 50% sugar and ice, with pearls), Jungwoo fixes him a look. “Everyone’s going to be a zombie, Mark. Kingdom print, you know?”

Mark grumbles a little but nods anyways. “This is hard.”

Chuckling, Jungwoo says, “It is. Unfortunately, we can’t delay this any more. Halloween party’s in three weeks.”

For a few moments, Mark just twists around in the swivel chair, not saying anything. The last option is a pretty strong contender, but they could always add more if Mark thinks of more.

He nudges Jungwoo’s elbow with his own. “How about you?”

“What do you mean?” Jungwoo’s looking for reference photos for the last option. Looks like they might have to get a few pieces custom made.

“Do you wanna get a costume too? You’re allowed at the party anyways.”

Jungwoo smiles. “This isn’t about me.”

Mark points his red Gong Cha straw at him. “We’re gonna shop for my costume anyways. Might as well get yours too.”

“Not really into costumes,” he tells him. Not entirely true, but Mark doesn’t have to know that.

“Come on,” Mark whines, pouting a little. “It’ll be fun! I’m not saying match with me or whatever, because I was thinking of dragging Jaemin or Jisung to do it with me, but just...have fun with us too, you know?”

That makes Jungwoo grin. “Fine. For the record, though, I think Renjun suits this character more.” He gestures to his screen, where he’s opened a photo from Google.

Mark makes a waving motion. “Renjun’s already got a costume. One of those wuxia characters from that drama he got into. He’s trying to get Chenle to do a pair costume with him but I don’t think that’s working out.”

“Okay.” Jungwoo quickly tries to search for any online sellers or costume shops that have this particular costume. “So this one is final, yeah?”

“Mmhmm. We kinda binged the anime in like, a week or so and then got sick the week after because we barely slept or ate.” Mark laughs, suddenly remembering. “It was worth it, but we probably won’t do it ever again.”

“Good,” Jungwoo quips, bookmarking a few pages. 

Fiddling with the plastic covering his cup, Mark asks, “Can we choose the costume for you?”

“We?” Jungwoo isn’t sure he likes where this is going.

“You know, all of Dream.” Mark says it so casually, but Jungwoo hears him tear the plastic open. “We could like, go into the costume shop and then each pick an option for you. Best one wins.”

“Sounds like a vlog idea for the Dream channel.” Jungwoo doesn’t necessarily want to think about what sort of costumes these boys would pick out for him. None of them seem to be afraid of putting on random pieces of clothing and accessories if they needed to in variety shows. “Too bad that won’t be allowed. Or well, at least I won’t be allowed to be seen on it.”

Mark doesn’t seem like he cares about that. “We’ll just have fun with it, yeah? So we can find our costumes and you can find one too. And we get to play around with the plastic props there. Everyone is happy.” He shrugs, smiling.

Sighing, Jungwoo opens up the calendar and inputs  _ Shopping for Halloween _ on a mostly free day. Looks like he won’t be able to get out of this one.

Jungwoo is the one driving them to a costume shop the next weekend. The boys are in their hoodies, passed out in their usual seats for most of the ride. It’s not even that early anymore, but Jungwoo figures they deserve that shut-eye.

There’s no camera crew with them, but the boys all brought their own selfie sticks anyways. It probably won’t be a full-blown vlog that they’ll post on their channel or anything, but they just want to document their day. Jungwoo knows it won’t hurt.

Seulgi is with them, though, also fast asleep in the passenger seat. Jungwoo thinks it didn’t really matter if she requested to get another shot of espresso in her coffee today, as she’d be too tired to keep awake all of the time today. Understandable. The boys’ last schedule yesterday was a radio show recording that stretched up until past 10 in the evening. Even Jungwoo was unwilling to drag himself out of bed this morning.

She wakes up when they’re close, looking disoriented for a moment. The costume shop is in a busy part of Myeongdong, squeezed between a toy store and a bakery. It doesn’t really look like much from the outside, but a quick peer inside from the windows shows rows and rows of colorful fabric and various props. Jungwoo finds a parking spot first as Seulgi gently wakes up the boys.

They walk up to the store, all the boys in front being practically herded by Mark through the glass door. Jungwoo and Seulgi are close behind, watching as they all disappear into the store. Once they’re in, Jungwoo thinks he can probably inhale glitter in here.

True to what he saw through the windows, there are rows upon rows of the costumes, seemingly arranged by theme. Every single possible type of fabric seems to be here, and pretty much every color in the spectrum. Several mannequins line the sides of the store, decked out in everything from  _ Avengers _ costumes to Disney Princesses to simple animal onesies. Props and other accessories are in big boxes, placed near the costumes that match them best. Albeit on the small side, the store seems to have everything, so everyone splits up and starts looking. 

Chenle and Jisung are rooting through the plastic medieval weapons, pulling some out curiously. Donghyuck is perusing through the racks, trying to look casual about it when his gaze remains sharp. The others are pulling out random costumes, holding it up to themselves and giggling. Mark is currently going through the wigs, laughing to himself as he puts some on and looks into a nearby mirror.

Jungwoo goes straight to the counter to claim the custom-made costumes he had ordered. They had been done in record time, and Jungwoo wanted to check them over before he paid the remaining balance for them. Seulgi is somewhere with the boys, supervising them but ultimately still letting them try on whatever they want.

Pulling out the matching costumes, Jungwoo quickly runs his hands over them, going over all the seams. Obviously not the best fabric out there, but it’s pretty thick and it’s not likely to fall apart anytime soon. Rather soft as well, he notes, and the factory smell that came with costumes was faint here.

The wigs that came in the bags are gonna need some work before the party, but nothing too much. Pleased, Jungwoo herds Mark and Jaemin into the changing rooms, asking them to try on their costumes for the party. He needed to see if they could move in them well.

While waiting, the other boys are already choosing costumes for him to try on. Jungwoo knew it was going to be challenging on account of his height, but he wanted to see what the boys chose for him anyways. Already, he can see some brightly colored options in the arms of the two youngest, and a long flowing wig in Renjun’s hands, and Jungwoo suppresses a nervous laugh.

Soon enough, Mark and Jaemin called him from the changing rooms. They twirled around for him, and Jungwoo helped the costumes sit a little better on their frames. Both costumes fit pretty well, so Jungwoo had them make a few dance moves in them to check their mobility. Jungwoo had to shove the rest of the boys away when they wanted to peek, laughing at how Jaemin covered himself with the curtain as if scandalized.

As soon as the others moved away, Jungwoo plopped the wigs on Mark and Jaemin’s heads. Definitely going to need some adjusting, but it suited them both pretty well. He had them stand together, doing some of the poses from the reference photos he pulled. Perfect.

When he was sure that both boys were comfortable in them, he had them change out of the costumes. Just in time, Seulgi was already arranging the others’ choices for him on a rack near the changing rooms.

“They’re pretty excited about this,” she says, hanging up what seemed like a tulle cloud. “We haven’t let them do this before.”

“What, choose for someone else?” Jungwoo chuckles, eyeing the assortment of colors and fabrics on the rack. “Guess I’m the guinea pig then.”

A hand comes to squeeze Jungwoo’s arm. “They’re gonna try out all sorts of things on you, trust me.”

Before Jungwoo can say anything to that, Mark and Jaemin emerge, the costumes carefully hung on hangers. Jungwoo moves to put them back into the clothing bags they came with when Seulgi offered to do it. She tilts her head to the members pulling up stools to the front of the changing rooms. Jeno has a pirate hat perched on his head, weighing the plastic sword in his hand. Renjun and Donghyuck have matching fans, as well as strings of sparkly beads hanging from their necks. Chenle and Jisung are peering curiously at a replica of Iron Man’s glove, trying to make it light up.

“Better start trying on the stuff they chose.” She smiles at him, lugging the costumes as well as a basket of other items the boys chose for their own costumes. Jungwoo smiles back, then turning to the members.

“Okay,” he begins, trying to make it seem less like he’s talking to preschoolers. “How do you want me to start?”

“Just pick one from the rack and try it on,” Donghyuck pipes up, scooting over as Jaemin and Mark squeeze into the long bench. “We’ll judge.”

Turning to the rack, Jungwoo puts a hand over his eyes and blindly picks one. It rustles when he takes it off of the rack, and he can hear their reactions over his choice. Somebody guides him into the changing room before he can take the hand off his eyes, and it seems like that person put some accessories into the changing room as well. The curtain is closed behind them, and Jungwoo allows himself to look at the costume, barely stifling a laugh.

Staring back at him is a deflated Tyrannosaurus head. He’s seen these multiple times before, and he can’t quite believe he’s gonna have to try it on today. Even better were the oversized shades and gold chain they had chosen to go with it, like he’s going to turn up at the party like a glammed-up dinosaur.

With a sigh, he gets into the costume legs first, letting it pool around his ankles. Poking his head out, he asked for help, and one of the clerks rushed over. He explained that he was putting on that particular costume, and they immediately disappeared to get an air pump.

In a few minutes, Jungwoo watches as the costume slowly inflates, barely fitting in the dressing room. Laughing to himself, he sits down on the floor so he can fit better, asking the clerk to help him put the shades and chain on. Jungwoo barely knew what he looked like, but that was okay. He gently shoos the clerk out, thanking them, and poses as best as he can on the floor of the cramped dressing room. 

“Okay, I’m ready!” he yells out, hearing everyone’s excited whoops. By the shadow approaching the curtain, he can tell that Mark has come up to draw the curtain. It pulls open, and Jungwoo can barely see as Mark falls to the floor, laughing.

Everyone is losing it, even Seulgi, who has returned with several bags on her arms. Jungwoo strikes a few more poses to get them going, right before he reaches his puffed-out arms to them to ask them to help him stand. Chenle and Jisung come up to him, pulling him to his feet, but the T-rex head just bumps at the doorway of the changing room, and Jungwoo stumbles back. Chenle is laughing again, and somewhere out there, Jungwoo can hear Mark doubling over.

They manage to get him out, leading him to the full-length mirror to check himself out. Even with it, it’s a little difficult to see everything, but Jungwoo can’t help but chuckle at himself. Yeah, he should definitely go to the prestigious Neo Halloween Party dressed like this. Who knows which celebrity Instagram he’ll end up on?

Jungwoo lets them take photos, posing for them the way they want him to. He has the clerk help him deflate the costume again before carefully stepping out, and going over to the rack again.

This time, he’s apparently pulled a gown, all deep wine-colored imitation velvet and satiny ribbons. He’s absolutely unsure that it’s going to reach all the way to the ground, and he eyes the tiny waist.

Carefully, he steps into the gown, and it’s better than he expected it would be. The lining is not scratchy, and the gown is rather light. Miraculously, he can fit his arms AND waist into it, able to zip himself three-quarters of the way up. The color looks nice on his skin, and although it stops at about his ankles, it doesn’t look all too bad. Jungwoo twists a little, letting the skirt swish around.

Taking a deep breath, he opens the curtain himself. He’s amused that even with all their masks on, he can tell that everyone’s jaw just dropped. There’s a squeal from someone (someones?), and he twirls around for them.

Renjun comes over with the wig he was holding earlier, and Jungwoo crouches down best as he can to let the younger boy put the wig on his head. It’s clipped into place a bit messily, but it’s fine. He flips a lock of hair over his shoulder, earning another wave of positive reactions. This one is apparently already a winner.

He looks at himself in the mirror, all that pretty gown and slightly askew wig and his cartoon socks, and he thinks that he might just enjoy this Halloween after all.

**Doyoung** **  
** **2:30pm, Lee Residence, UN village**

The first one to greet them as soon as the door to Taeyong’s apartment opens is, unsurprisingly, Ruby. She bounds up to Taeyong, who immediately crouches down to scoop her into his embrace. Doyoung gently puts their luggage to the side, to be wheeled into their rooms later. Taeyong showers the dog with kisses, asking her how she’s been.

Doyoung hands over the chocolates they bought to the Mrs. Cho, who smiles and takes them to put into the fridge. He sets his keys and iPad case down onto the kitchen counter, registering the packages for the first time.

“Mrs. Cho?” he calls out, going to the neatly wrapped packages sitting proudly on the countertop. “Did someone drop off press release stuff again?”

The housekeeper comes out, looking at the packages through her glasses. “Oh. Those came from a sweet delivery boy this morning. Said they were from a cafe? They’re for Taeyong and you.”

Taeyong has just come up to him, Ruby trailing after him happily. Doyoung traces the card with the familiar logo on it.

“For us?” Taeyong asks, looking curiously at the wrapped items. Doyoung can see his eyes light up when he registers the logo on the card. 

Swiftly, Taeyong swings up onto one of the barstools, untying the ribbon holding the wrapping paper of the first one together. It all falls away to reveal an edible arrangement too big for Taeyong to hold in his arms without help. Arranged like an intricate bouquet were all sorts of pastries and sweets, from chocolate-covered strawberries to donuts to a slice of coated cheesecake to cake pops to candied fruit. The sheer surprise and glee on Taeyong’s face was priceless, and it looked like he could barely believe his eyes. Doyoung’s going to have to find a way to prevent Taeyong from eating it all in one go.

Gently taking away the first gift (and ignoring a pouting Taeyong), Doyoung pushed the next parcel towards him. This one is smaller, but seems a bit hefty still. With excited hands, Taeyong opened the gift, revealing a familiar box.

He stood it up, reading the words on the box. “Model kit,” he read out. “Five thousand plus pieces.”

Doyoung had seen something like it in the bookstores he wandered into, and had considered getting Taeyong one himself. This one was definitely bigger than the ones he’d seen, and apparently super detailed at that. No doubt, Doyoung might not be able to talk to the music producer for a while after he’s started building it. It looked like Jaehyun had already understood exactly what Taeyong liked.

For a while, Taeyong only marveled at the model kit, already looking at the text at the back of the box. The arrangement of sweets are completely forgotten, at least for the moment.

“Do you wanna start on that?” Doyoung asks, snapping him out of it. Taeyong looks up at him, all dark, wide eyes, and nods. Doyoung smiles at him. “Go on ahead. Today’s rest day anyways. I’ll bring this over for a photo later.” He points at the arrangement.

When Taeyong passes by him, he nabs a cake pop, putting it into his mouth before going into his room. Despite the jetlag, he seems genuinely energized and happy.

Left on the counter is another gift, addressed to Doyoung. Smaller, but Doyoung won’t complain. He doesn’t even usually get anything from all these people they meet. He hoists himself up the bar stool, taking the gift and letting Ruby sniff it out for a bit.

“Isn’t dangerous or anything, is it?” he asks, watching as the dog thumps her tail against the floor. Carefully, he opens the gift, folding the wrapping paper neatly and setting it aside.

It’s a wooden box, stained the same dark wood of the cafe. Painted on the cover is the logo, the silver catching the kitchen light. Doyoung opens it gingerly, the considerably heavy wood feeling nice under his fingers.

Inside is their signature clear cup, with the logo on the side. It’s nestled in soft fabric, a set of their custom spoons in a hollowed out space beside it. There’s also a tea egg the shape of a little bunny, the silver standing out against the dark fabric. In the box is also a packet of blue flower petals, dried and beautiful.  _ Butterfly pea flower _ , Doyoung recognizes.

Taking a quick photo, he sends it to his friends.  **_Look at the gift I got!_ ** his text reads. There’s a flurry of replies soon after, but he ignores them for a moment as he stares at a particular contact.

Doyoung decides to send it anyways.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **_1 image attachment_ ** **_  
_ ** **Hey, thank you for this!** **  
** **Taeyong loves his gifts too!**

As always, the reply is quick.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Ah, you’re home already? That was pretty quick** **  
** **Glad you liked them :D**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Ah wait** **  
** **I’ll take photos of Taeyong with his**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **That’s alright, I can wait for them lol** **  
** **How was the flight?**

Doyoung took a deep breath, trying to recall what had happened during the flight. Honestly though, not much. Both of them were just in varying states of consciousness the whole time.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **It was fine** **  
** **We were passed out for a majority of it haha** **  
** **Like any other flight tbh**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Ah, how is it over there in Seoul now?** **  
** **Haven’t been back in a while**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Not much of anything new, I guess** **  
** **Traffic is still the worst if that’s what you wanna know** **  
** **How long since the last time you were here?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **I don’t think I’ve lived in a time where there wasn’t traffic where I lived lol** **  
** **Dunno, close to a decade maybe?** **  
** **There isn’t much to come back to anyways** **  
** **My family lives here so**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Ah** **  
** **So you don’t miss it?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Idk what I should be missing honestly** **  
** **But maybe it’ll be good to be back, get reacquainted and all**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Just tell us when you’ll be visiting!** **  
** **Taeyong and I would be glad to tour you around if needed**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **I’ll take you up on that** **  
** **Btw, gotta go** **  
** **Have a meeting**

Doyoung looks up at the clock on the wall opposite him. It was just a bit past three. He feels guilty at texting Jaehyun when he’s supposed to be preparing for a meeting. Doyoung fights down the embarrassed flush rising in his face.

**  
** **[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Oh sorry** **  
** **Was I keeping you?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Oh** **  
** **No** **  
** **Not at all** **  
** **It’s fine**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Okay** **  
** **I’ll go check in on Yongie now**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Yongie** **  
** **That’s cute**

**Hey Doyoung?**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Mmmm?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Send me photos when you try out the butterfly pea okay?** **  
** **Just wanna see**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Sure** **  
** **Now go to your meeting!**

He finds himself giggling when he exits the chat box. He didn’t know what it was about Jaehyun, but it made him feel like doing it.

Once he’s finished answering the other texts, Doyoung pads over to Taeyong’s room. The door is ajar, and he can hear music coming from the speakers on Taeyong’s desk.

The plastic baggies full of pieces were strewn all over the floor, one of them open and the contents spilled out over the carpet. Taeyong’s nose was practically stuck into the manual as he read the instructions, eyes darting to the pieces to determine which one he was going to slot in next.

Doyoung sat down across from him, watching him for a few moments. Taeyong was so engrossed in it that he barely seemed to notice Doyoung. After two songs, Doyoung speaks up.

“Want me to help?”

Taeyong jolts a little at his voice, but looks up at him, still very much dazed from the instructions. Doyoung scoots over closer, plucking the manual from his hands.

Together, they build the base of the structure from the contents of the first baggie. Neither are really sure how much time has elapsed, but that doesn’t matter. Belatedly, Doyoung wishes he brought the sweets basket in with him.

“He gave a gift to you too, right?” Taeyong asks, pressing the last piece in. 

Doyoung hums. “He gave me one of their signature cups and some tea.”

The softest of smiles in on Taeyong’s lips. “Is it allowed for him to be this sweet? I don’t think it’s allowed.”

That makes Doyoung chuckle. “He’s absolutely allowed, and I’m glad you have him.”

Taeyong tears the next baggie open. “I don’t  _ have  _ him yet.” He pouts, just the slightest bit.

Doyoung fixes a look on him, but Taeyong doesn’t notice. “Oh my god, I don’t think he can be more whipped if he tried.”

The music producer shakers his head, but his ears have turned pink. “We don’t know that, Doyoung. Maybe if he suddenly opened a branch of J&J here in Seoul or something. Or near here, for maximum whippage,” he jokes.

Soon enough, they were back into building, mostly quiet save for their back and forth of instructions. The plastic bags full of pieces seem endless, but they’re in no rush. Doyoung feels like he’s playing Lego with his little cousin again, and it’s strangely therapeutic after a week full of schedules and a long flight.

After the fourth bag, it doesn’t seem like they made much of a dent in the pile, but it was progress. Taeyong slumped down into the floor, fingers gently tracing the structure that was starting to take form. Doyoung cast him one last glance before deciding to get some of the sweets for Taeyong to munch on as they would attempt a few more bags.

Once there in the kitchen, staring at the edible arrangement, Doyoung sighs and hauls the whole thing to the room. He might as well take the photos too, before they both cleared through it.

Taeyong is engrossed in putting two tiny pieces together when Doyoung comes in. Even as he’s straining with the weight of the basket, Doyoung waits until Taeyong at least slots the pieces together.

“We should take photos to send to Jaehyun,” he wheezes out, and Taeyong looks up at him, nodding. His arms stretch out to take the basket of sweets, while Doyoung retrieves his phone from his pocket.

The basket balancing on his lap and hugged tight to his chest to avoid from toppling over their model kit, Taeyong manages a smile, looking straight at Doyoung’s phone camera. Doyoung takes several shots, before sending them off quickly to Jaehyun and Taeyong both. Once he’s pocketed his phone again, he moves to take the basket out of Taeyong’s hands. He plucks some chocolate covered strawberries and pastries from the basket, giving them all to the other man as he takes the rest of the arrangement out into the kitchen again.

When he returns, Taeyong is already biting down on the second strawberry. “Kinda wanna sleep now.”

“You can do that.” Doyoung pulls out his phone, wanting to check on his notifications. “You can sleep as much as you want today.”

For effect, Taeyong leans his head against his bed, closing his eyes even as he pops a cream puff into his mouth. “What do I have tomorrow?” He groans, snuggling into the side of his mattress. “Can I clear it?”

“Hmm.” Doyoung opens up the calendar app. “Just one meeting. You don’t really have to be there.”

Taeyong pouts up at him. “Sleep,” he whines, and Doyoung understands.

“I’ll clear tomorrow for you then,” he says. Then, Doyoung opens his messages, the most recent one from Yeri.

**[YERI BUN]** **  
** **That looks so nice!** **  
** **J &J’s right? Wendy liked it there too** **  
** **Oh, did u know they were going to open a branch in Seoul soon?**

Furrowing his brows, Doyoung typed out a reply.

**[DOIE BUN]** **  
** **Oh?** **  
** **Haven’t heard** **  
** **Where?**

**[YERI BUN]** **  
** **Remember that place we went to for the great scarves?** **  
** **The one by Han river?** **  
** **Beside that**

For a moment, Doyoung could feel himself gape at her words. This was definitely news, and one that he hadn’t even gotten from Jaehyun.

“Taeyong,” he calls out, only to see Taeyong already fast asleep. “Taeyong,” he urges, a little louder this time.

The music producer jolts awake, blinking at him uncomprehendingly. He yawns. “What is it?”

“J&J.” Doyoung looks at him straight on, but Taeyong is confused. “They’re opening a branch here. Ten minutes from your house.”

This wakes Taeyong up, but he’s shaking his head. “What?”

“They’re opening a branch here,” Doyoung breathes out, recalling the text from Jaehyun earlier.  **_But maybe it’ll be good to be back, get reacquainted and all._ ** “You can go have coffee there, most likely even meet Jaehyun here in Seoul.”

It finally registers on Taeyong. The joy and shock mingle on his face, still trying to process the news fully.

_ God, if Taeyong only knew how whipped Jaehyun was, _ Doyoung thinks to himself.  _ Well, he’s gonna realize it soon. _

**Jungwoo** **  
** **1:15pm, Neo Building, Cheongdam-dong**

“Are you getting drunk tonight?” Ten looked at his reflection in the mirror, brushing away excess eyeshadow on his lids. He was already made up for his costume, blonde hair pulled into a wig cap.

Jungwoo hasn’t even started changing yet, or attempting makeup on himself. “You know I have to be chaperone to like, seven boys.”

Ten scoffs, putting more shimmery powder on his collarbones. “Almost all of them are at least 19. They can handle themselves. Besides,” he looks at Jungwoo through the mirror, his long lashes batting. “You deserve to have some fun of your own.”

“Everyone says that.” Jungwoo plops into one of the vacant chairs, idly running his fingers against the handles of the makeup brushes. “I’m perfectly capable of having fun.”

He doesn’t have to look up to know that Ten is squinting at him. “Sure.”

Before he can respond, Ten is turning around, pointing a makeup brush at him. “Aren’t you gonna get ready?”

“Later maybe.” He looks over a few chairs down, where stylists are securing Mark’s wig onto him. “When everyone’s done. Don’t wanna meddle or anything.”

Ten looks like he’s going to throw his chai latte out of exasperation. “Honey. Jungwoo. My baby,” he coos, coming over to squeeze Jungwoo’s face affectionately. “It’s Halloween. Today, everything is free-for-all. You are  _ not _ meddling.”

Jungwoo knows he can’t really argue with Ten, so he lets his chair be dragged closer to mirror. Watching as his friend chooses a bottle from the assortment on the table, Jungwoo waits patiently.

“I don’t think you’re gonna need foundation.” Ten hums, picking up a tube. “I kinda hate you and your too-perfect skin, but whatever.”

Chuckling, Jungwoo reaches for his own latte, long gone lukewarm. “I didn’t ask you to do this, you know.”

Ten grins at him. His hands smooth nice-smelling primer all over Jungwoo’s face. Up close, Jungwoo can see the glitter on his eyelids. “I saw your costume for later, by the way. Who chose it?”

“I think both Renjun and Donghyuck came to an agreement with that one.” The concealer dabbed under his eyes is cold, and Ten’s fingers are warm. “It was the second one I tried, but they had me try everything else they chose, too. One was a character from  _ Trolls _ , I think? And then another one was a video game character I didn’t recognize.”

Huffing out a laugh, Ten says, “I wouldn’t have expected anything less.”

“Wish we could’ve filmed it though, but you know how it is.” Jungwoo drains his cup.

“I do know how it is.” Ten is squinting at all the palettes now, trying to find a color to suit Jungwoo. “But it’s nice to let the off-cam moments stay off-cam. More enjoyable that way.”

Silently, Jungwoo agrees. 

The rest of his makeup is done in record time, Ten’s gentle fingers holding his jaw as he turns his face from side to side to check his work. Jungwoo grants him a smile, and Ten scrunches his nose affectionately.

“You know,” Ten says, busying himself with brushing out the wig that they also bought from the costume shop, “I get why Lucas likes you.”

Jungwoo raises his brows. “Yeah, he said I was cute and all. Doesn’t he do that to everyone?”

The brush that Ten is holding is promptly used to slap at his arm. “Sure, he’s a flirt, but I think he genuinely likes you.”

“You’re so sure.”

Ten brushes out a knot gently. “Of course I am. He’s near inseparable with Mark, right? So I came to knew him too, unsurprisingly. I know he comes off as the type of guy that can flirt his way through anything and anyone, but he really isn’t. He’s actually pretty sweet.”

It makes Jungwoo smile. “You’re pretty soft for him.”

“I’m soft for all of them honestly, but don’t tell them that. Anyways, what I’m saying is, he likes you.” He’s done with the wig, his fingers making the curls look nicer. “Not just because you’re cute. You’re smart and funny and organized as fuck and determined and most of all, you care about Dream. You’re basically Lucas’ dream guy, you know that?”

Jungwoo sighs, but the smile is still on his mouth. “Be honest. Do you want to set me up with him?”

Ten is silent for a bit as he works to put a wig cap on Jungwoo. “Maybe. I know it’s not really recommended since you work in the same company and all…”

“Ten.”

“Okay, yeah, it’s preferable that they don’t date within the company, I know that. I’m just saying, it’s cute, the both of you.”

Jungwoo suppresses another sigh. “I’m not even thinking of dating him, you know. I haven’t really be in the dating mindset lately, much less the best friend of the person I work for.”

The gaze on him seems to want to tell him something, but Jungwoo can’t make it out. Ten bites down on his lip. “Friends then?” Jungwoo can tell that it’s not what Ten wants to ask.

“We can try.” It’s not much of an answer, but Ten acknowledges it anyways.

“Let him down easy, okay?” Ten smiles up at him in the mirror, his hands expertly putting the wig on Jungwoo’s head. “If it comes to it.”

Jungwoo only nods.

“And I’ll get you to dance with me tonight, no matter what. You got that?” Ten fixes him with a gaze again, and it makes Jungwoo chuckle.

“Got it, Tennie.”

Jungwoo regrets leaving his coat at the dorms before they went to the venue. He didn’t know that the venue was going to be this harshly airconditioned, but he really should’ve been more prepared. The gown he’s wearing is a bit too thin to handle the chill, even with its long sleeves. He doesn’t know how Ten is surviving in his getup, but Ten seems to survive in anything you put him in.

He’s been dragged from the Dreamie table over to the bar, where he’s currently nursing his second glass of wine. It at least gives him some warmth, but his fingers still feel rather numb. Ten is somewhere, most likely dancing with all his other dancer friends, and most likely going to start looking for Jungwoo soon. He might need more than two glasses of wine in his system if he’s gonna dance.

During parties like this, Jungwoo has long been accustomed to standing inconspicously in corners, making light conversation with people if needed but ultimately keeping an eye on his boss. Over the years, it has helped immensely to build his tolerance to alcohol, as he could be several bottles in and still be able to fix a ripped seam or handle a messy fight without difficulty. A talent, some of his friends had said. Jungwoo just thinks of it as part of his job.

Right now, Mark is dancing, his form illuminated by the multicolored lights in the venue. Jaemin and Jeno are the closest to him, all three of them most likely a bit tipsy on the spiked punch at the buffet table. There are cameras everywhere, and laughs ring in Jungwoo’s ears. It’s good to see them enjoy like this. 

A group of girls that Jungwoo recognizes as one of Neo Ent’s girl groups approaches him, a polaroid camera in the hands of the most stable looking one. They don’t need to tell him much before he understands, getting them to pose together. He snaps a photo, the whirring of the camera now familiar to him. The girls thank him, taking the camera and polaroid from him without even looking at the result of the photo.

He’s just finished his wine when Ten stumbles into view, his face glowing and his skin having a sheen of sweat. Ten has that brilliant grin on his face when he orders himself a drink, leaning against the cool glass of the bar counter.

“Jungwoo,” he breathes out, and in the low lights of the party, he seems to just be incandescent. “You need to dance with me, baby.”

Jungwoo claims his third glass of wine. “I will, promise. Just let me watch over the boys for a bit more, yeah?”

Ten agrees to this, knocking back a couple of shots of something Jungwoo can’t recognize. “Okay, okay. But you better not run out on me.” He wags a finger at Jungwoo, and Jungwoo promises he won’t.

He watches as Ten practically sashays away, disappearing into the crowd again. Jungwoo scans the party again to locate Mark, only to find him taking photos with one of their seniors. He seems about fine.

Pushing himself off the bar, Jungwoo walks to their table, locating his bag from under the table and retrieving his phone. He walks up to Mark, who’s already starting to dance to the song being played. Jungwoo tells him that he’s just going to get some air, and that he’ll be right back. Mark’s answering smile is bright as ever, and he looks like he’s still stable enough to handle himself for a couple of minutes. It’s enough.

Jungwoo finds himself to the rooftop of the venue, where the party is still very much present, but slightly more muted. Up here are executives, producers, the like. There’s a distinct scent of cigarettes and stronger liquor up here, and this, this is what Jungwoo is more used to.

He claims a spot by the glass railing, looking out into the Seoul night sky. Beside him is a man who is trying to look busy on his phone, but Jungwoo knows where his eyes are trained on.

“A PA too, I’m assuming?” he asks, swirling the wine in his glass. The man turns to look at him as Jungwoo grabs an hors d’ouvre from a passing waiter. “I know how we look at our bosses.”

The man beside him chuckles, flipping away a bunny ear that has landed in his face. “Didn’t know we were that obvious.”

“Nobody really notices us, yeah? So really, it takes one to know one.”

From the corner of his eye, Jungwoo can tell that the man is smiling. “Mine’s either gonna pass out or start being clingy to a CEO soon. How about yours?”

“Dancing with his friends. He’ll be fine for a bit.” Jungwoo turns to look at the man, taking in his dark coat and his white bunny ears. “I’m Jungwoo.”

“Doyoung. You want some chicken?”

To Jungwoo’s surprise, Doyoung raises a plastic bag, and the smell of fried chicken permeates from it. “I knew I wasn’t going to be able to really sit down and eat, so I got this delivered here to eat while I watch over my boss.”

“Thanks for that tip. I’ll do that on the next party.” Jungwoo picks out a drumstick from the open box. Mmm, soy-honey. “Haven’t really eaten much either. Was too busy.”

Doyoung sighs, getting a wing for himself. “Aren’t we all?” The smile on his face is warm even as he looks in the direction of his boss.

“So,” Jungwoo says around a bite of food. “Gonna stay here long?”

The man hums, chewing thoughtfully. “Probably not. We always leave earlier than most people. Honestly, it’s a miracle we’re still here at this hour.”

Jungwoo is silently thankful for the nearby trashcan as he throws the bone away. Doyoung thrusts the box towards him again, and Jungwoo gets another piece. He’s also absolutely grateful for the stretchy fabric of this gown. “I’m gonna have to bring the younger members back to the dorms soon, so I might not stay too long either.”

“Oh, you work with the boy group?” Jungwoo nods, licking his lips clean of the glaze. “My boss worked with them for some of the songs for the new album.”

Jungwoo lets his mouth fall open in surpise. “Oh wow. Whichever songs those were, I’m sure I loved them. I loved all the songs for this album.”

“I’ll tell him that.” Jungwoo doesn’t know if it’s the wine swilling in him, or the way Doyoung smiles really does resemble a bunny, just a bit.

It’s when Jungwoo uses the last of his wine to wash down his last bite that Doyoung speaks again. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around that much, are you new?”

“Yeah, started less than two months ago. Right in the middle of comeback preparations actually.” Jungwoo chuckles, looking back out at the view.

“Ah. A bit late for this, but I want to welcome you.” Doyoung tilts his head. “Schedules here can get overwhleming.”

That makes Jungwoo snort. “Oh, tell me about it. I used to be able to stay up until all hours of morning, but I’m honestly just so tired now.”

Doyoung takes a swig from his beer. “I feel you on that. Don’t worry, in between promotions it’s normally better.”

Jungwoo nods. Normally. Yeah. If only any of it was normal.

He finds himself thinking about another drink when a noise coming from the staircase makes the both of them turn to look. There seems to heavy steps, accompanied with whoops and laughing, and the first face to emerge has an all-too familiar smile.

Lucas has his arm slung around another guy that looks about his age, and they’re swaying as they walk. He’s wearing some sort of sailor outfit, all too short on his leggy frame. They’re followed by a few others, all giggly and looking very much like they won’t stay upright for much longer. Nobody even seems to so much as blink at their arrival except Jungwoo and Doyoung.

“Uh,” Jungwoo begins, putting down his wineglass on a passing waiter’s tray. “I have to go, I think.”

Doyoung tips his chin up, regarding the newcomers with a mixture of amusement and concern on his face. Jungwoo feels a pang of guilt at leaving his new friend without thanking him or asking for his number, but he can’t risk Lucas falling flat on his face with all these higher-ups around.

Once he’s close enough, Lucas squints at him, trying to see if he knows him. He stumbles away from his friend, who seems all too absorbed in getting bacon-wrapped dates into his mouth. 

“Lucas.” Jungwoo calls out, arms already outstretched to catch him if needed. Lucas is still taller than him, and broader, so Jungwoo isn’t sure he can catch him gracefully, but he’s going to try.

Lucas blinks, mouth open and tilting his head to the side. “Jungwoo?” he asks, right before erupting into a fit of giggles. “Jungwoo!” He crashes into Jungwoo, all limbs and the scent of the punch on him. For a moment, Jungwoo thinks of the way golden retrievers crash into people just like this.

Jungwoo wraps his arms around the younger boy, steadying the both of them. “Hey there,” he says soothingly, running his hands down his back. “How about we go down, yeah? We can sit there.”

Lucas is swaying again, taking Jungwoo with him on a drunken slow dance. “Mmm. I wanna stay here. Friends are here.”

Even though Jungwoo can’t see his face, it feels like Lucas is pouting. Jungwoo looks over his shoulder to look at the friends he had brought along, who are either currently engrossed in a card game one table is playing or trying to hoard all the champagne from the trays. There’s a mostly empty bench by a wall, and that can do for now.

“Alright, we’ll stay.” Jungwoo shifts Lucas to his side, slinging his arm over his own shoulders so he can drag the model to the bench.

Once there, he plops Lucas unceremoniously on the plush bench, grabbing a glass of water from a waitress before kneeling down in front of him.

“How much have you had, Lucas?” he asks, helping to tip up the glass of water to Lucas’ mouth.

A lazy smile spreads across the model’s face. “Enough.” He giggles again, one of his hands coming up to touch Jungwoo’s wig. “Pretty.”

Jungwoo licks his lips, looking around. It’s around 11 now, that much he knows. He has to take Chenle and Jisung back. He turns back to Lucas, who is now leaning his head against the brick wall.

“Do you want to go home Lucas?” Jungwoo looks up into those big brown eyes. “We can get you in your bed soon.”

Lucas blinks at him hazily, grin still on his lips. “Home?”

“Yes. Home. You can go sleep there.” Jungwoo’s already scrolling through his messages to get to the chatroom he has with the managers. “I can take you home.”

“Home,” Lucas repeats, still looking straight at Jungwoo. His hand drops to hold one of Jungwoo’s. “Okay.”

At that, Jungwoo nods, standing up. He lets Lucas hold onto him while he texts with one hand, informing the managers that he’ll be taking home the two youngest and Lucas now. The reply comes a minute later, Seulgi saying she’ll let the two get some last photos in.

Shoving his phone into the front of his dress (curse dresses for not having pockets), Jungwoo looks straight at Lucas. “Can you stand?”

Lucas nods, getting up. He’s a bit wobbly, but he can at least be upright. Jungwoo asks him to put an arm around him again, bracing for the weight. Lucas does as he’s told, using his free arm to circle Jungwoo’s shoulders, his hand still holding onto Jungwoo’s. Jungwoo decides to allow it.

Carefully, they make their way down the stairs. Good thing it’s not too steep or slippery from all the glitter and drinks, as they somehow manage to descend them and arrive at the lower floor in peace. Down here, there seems to be even more people dancing than around 20 minutes ago, and Jungwoo takes a deep breath before attempting to maneuver through the crowd.

The first recognizable person he chances upon is Ten, who is too wide eyed at him basically carrying Lucas across the dance floor to get a word in. Jungwoo apologizes, saying he needs to leave and goes to the direction of the Dream table before Ten could figure out what to say to him.

Some people greet Lucas as they pass by, and Lucas’ voice is loud in Jungwoo’s ear as he greets them back. He’s pretty popular, Jungwoo learns.

They reach the Dream table after a bit of a struggle to end a conversation with two rookies of the company, and Jungwoo is relieved to finally see Seulgi.

“Hey there,” she greets, her fingers quickly typing on her phone even as she looks up. “Car is coming up. You’ll be back at the dorms soon.”

Jungwoo can only nod, straightening up under Lucas’ weight. “And Mark?”

Seulgi uses her chin to point towards the stage. It seems as if Mark and the other 20-and-above Dreamies are on the stage, participating in a dance-off with their seniors. “He’ll be fine. I got it from here.”

Smiling at her, Jungwoo makes a tiny bow. Seulgi might just be a godsend, honestly. He can check on Mark in the morning.

Getting into the car was a challenge, but he manages to get Lucas in without any mishap. Chenle and Jisung are already passed out in their seats, and Jungwoo checks their seatbelts before settling into his own seat. Jungwoo finds that he can’t sleep quite yet, even as he’s tired. Best to monitor them for now.

At the dorms, Minseok offers to escort the younger boys to their own dorm, since it seems that Lucas is more likely to go with Jungwoo. Too tired to argue, Jungwoo agrees. He watches them disappear past their door for a bit before turning his heel and lugging Lucas to his own dorm.

Thankfully, Lucas has his keycard, saving Jungwoo from having to fumble with the keypad. Once inside, Jungwoo manages to turn some of the lights on without dropping the model to the floor. The layout is pretty similar to the Dreamie dorm, much to Jungwoo’s relief.

“Lucas,” he calls out gently. It’s good that the model seems to be a little more sober now. “Can you show me your room?”

Raising an arm, Lucas points to a door to their left. “That one.”

It’s relatively easier now to get them there, plopping Lucas into a bed. Jungwoo is absolutely not sure that this is his bed from the two in the room, but there isn’t any protest from the younger boy anyways.

Jungwoo is a little winded, pushing the long locks of his wig over his shoulder as he kneels down to untie Lucas’ sneakers. “The sailor outfit is cute, by the way.”

He can feel the stare on him. “Steve.”

“What?”

“Steve. I’m Steve from Stranger Things. This was his Scoops Troop uniform.”

Jungwoo huffs out a laugh. “Okay then, Steve from Stranger Things. You looked cute tonight.”

There’s silence for a bit, and Jungwoo manages to shuck both of the sneakers off. Lucas breaks the quiet, saying a very small “Pretty Jungwoo. Will you stay?”

Meeting his gaze, Jungwoo only offers a smile. “I can’t. I need to go check on the Dreamies, and go home too. I don’t think your roommate will appreciate me being here.”

Lucas pouts, and in the sailor uniform that’s a bit small on him, he looks about 5. “Hendery won’t mind.” He seems to think for a bit, swinging his long legs back and forth. “Stay for a bit longer?”

And this is what Jungwoo has done so many times before, promising things to drunk people. It wasn’t the best thing to do, he knew, but sometimes it had to be done. “Alright.”

He frees himself from Lucas’ grabby hands to get a glass of water, and something that he can throw up into if needed. Returning to the room, he finds the model already leaning his head against the headboard, eyes closed. Gently, he sets the glass of water down on the side table, placing the little pail he found by the bed.

Ever so carefully, he maneuvers Lucas into a lying position, grateful that he seems willing to go along. Those big, dark eyes stare up at the ceiling for a bit while Jungwoo draws the covers up to his chin. Jungwoo sits at the edge of the bed, taking in the guy’s features as the light from the lamp washes over his skin. Lucas is all chiseled features that look soft in the orangey light. A face that can win anyone over.

“Can you sleep now?” Jungwoo asks, brushing away stray hair on a tanned forehead. “I’ll be leaving soon.”

Lucas takes his hand, turning it over in the dim light. He isn’t pouting, but Jungwoo has a feeling that he wanted to. “I’ll sleep.” He lets the hand fall on the covers, right above his chest. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

Jungwoo gives him a small smile, patting the covers. “Of course. I’m always here in the morning.” 

He watches as Lucas nods, obviously pleased. “Goodnight, Lucas,” he whispers, reaching over to turn the lamp off.

At the door, he hears the faintest “Goodnight, Jungwoo” right before he closes it behind him.

**Doyoung** **  
** **11:45pm, Neo Building Rooftop, Cheongdam-dong**

His phone pings in his pocket.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Why are u bored?**

Doyoung stares at the text message, taking another sip of his drink. It’s later than they’ve ever lasted at a party, and it’s colder up here on the rooftop than he expected.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Parties are always boring to me haha**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Really?** **  
** **Why do you keep going, then?**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Yongie needs to go to these parties** **  
** **That means I have to go too**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **So what do you do when you’re at parties?**

Turning so that his back is to the view, Doyoung casts a glance to the table where Taeyong is, currently mulling over his next move at a game that was taught to him mere minutes ago. Then, he looks over at where Jungwoo had disappeared to, dragging along a rather intoxicated youth. He thinks of how Jungwoo just knew he was a PA, after all of 2 minutes maybe.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Just stay in a corner where I can still see him** **  
** **Make friendly talk and get business cards** **  
** **Make sure I get Yongie into the car before he does** **  
** **something he’ll regret in the morning** **  
** **Stuff like that**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Ah** **  
** **That does sound boring** **  
** **Aren’t there like, dozens of celebrities there?**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Yeah** **  
** **It doesn’t make it interesting** **  
** **I promise you that**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Oh wow** **  
** **Didn’t know it was like that**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Don’t YOU go to parties with all the celebrities?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Yeah** **  
** **But like** **  
** **I can leave after some speeches or toasts** **  
** **Maybe after some photos**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Wow** **  
** **I want that life**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Then I can just lay in bed and play games until I pass out** **  
** **Better than any party if you ask me**

Jung Jaehyun plays games. He’d rather play games than go to a party with celebrities. Looks like Doyoung might really have to plan the Lee-Jung wedding soon.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Yongie plays games too!** **  
** **Maybe you should play together** **  
** **When you get here** **  
** **Which is soon I suppose since you’re** **  
** **planning to have a branch here?**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Oh yeah** **  
** **:)** **  
** **That news came out a week ago right** **  
** **I was trying to keep it a secret**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Why**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **So it can be a surprise yknow** **  
** **Like I’ll just turn up there with a cafe** **  
** **And then you can have tea in the mornings there again** **  
** **And get Taeyong’s coffee** **  
** **All that**

Doyoung casts another glance at Taeyong. His eyes are sharp, even after going over his usual alcohol tolerance. Doyoung isn’t sure, but he might very well be winning.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **We’re excited about it** **  
** **Also**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **?**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Don’t you have a morning meeting tomorrow?** **  
** **You should rest up**

Breathing in the scent of beer and smoke and Seoul, Doyoung closes his eyes. It’s been a week since they’ve been back, but it barely feels like it. There haven’t been a lot of schedules, and Taeyong’s calendar is emptier than it has been in the time they spent in New York. 

Sure, he should be thankful for the rest, but rest has always felt like a pre-game to everything being crammed into a span of a few days. Rest days were never truly that, even if he wanted them to be.

Holidays were coming up, undoubtedly the busiest time of the year for everyone. There were already meeting upon meeting being scheduled early, as well as planning sessions for the Christmas showcase. Nothing new really, in the years that Doyoung has worked for Taeyong, but a little nerve-wracking all the same.

Most of all, he can already foresee the nights that Taeyong will spend working, forgetting to rest until Doyoung comes into his room and gently reminds him. Sometimes the reminders don’t work, and Doyoung has to find a way to make sure that Taeyong remembers to sleep and eat, even for a bit.

He wishes that he enjoyed the holidays. It means a lot of different things to people, a time to be with family and friends, a time for some semblance of relaxation, a time to reconnect, a time for good food and good company and snuggling up in front of a fireplace. And Doyoung could have that, of course. Taeyong always let him have as many days off as he wants or needs, and Doyoung does take time off.

It’s just that he finds himself returning even before he’s used all his vacation days. He doesn’t need all that time for something he really didn’t enjoy. Doyoung has tried, of course, but he knows all too well that some things just aren’t for him.

Now though, with the lull before the hectic days that are sure to come, Doyoung finds that he wants to explore the city a little. He knows it very well, of course, knows most of Seoul like the back of his hand. But it’s been admittedly a while since he really went out, got a feel of the streets and any new things he might find. Things have changed, he knows, even as he hasn’t seen it yet. Maybe he can indulge in a day where he just wanders around, rediscovering what has been his home for a while.

A part of him wants to go home, even just for a bit. He doesn’t even know how much has changed over there, if his parents moved around their furniture or tried some new wallpaper or dumped some stuff into his old room. He doesn’t know if his mom has tried a new cake recipe or if his dad finally let go of that blue shirt he almost always wears. 

Things are changing, and Doyoung hasn’t quite caught up yet.

He thinks back to the model kit back at Taeyong’s apartment, a quarter of the way done. It was tiring, sure, but rewarding in its own way. It was a few hours of peace per day, a few hours of just methodically putting the pieces together and alternating with the manual. Once they finish it, things go back to normal, even though right now feels just about as normal as it could be.

Normal. Doyoung nearly scoffs. When he was younger, he didn’t think that normal would be having almost every important number memorized, be it a phone number or a bank account. He didn’t think normal was how he knew everything from how to get out of speeding tickets to how to get questionable stains out of designer clothes. He didn’t think normal was being able to pull off something that should’ve taken weeks within a day. He would have never thought that he’d see his life now as normal.

His phone pings again.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Yeah** **  
** **Just wanna help it be a little less boring**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **You don’t have to do that, you know**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **I know** **  
** **Like you don’t have to care for everyone as much as you do**

Doyoung raises an eyebrow at that.

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **I don’t care for everyone**

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Mmmm** **  
** **Just take care of yourself too, okay?** **  
** **You do so much for others but do you do stuff for yourself?**

Doyoung wants to reply, wants to say that he does do stuff for himself, but holds himself back. He drains his beer bottle. Of course he takes care of himself. Of course he puts time aside for himself. Why wouldn’t he?

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. 

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **You don’t know me, Jae**

Looking over at the table again, he sees Taeyong’s face lighting up, obviously happy at the result of the game. Everyone else at the table looks about two minutes from crashing, and they all put their cards down.

Doyoung does stuff for himself. It’s not always Taeyong. It’s not always where Taeyong has to be and what he has to do. He knows this.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Do you know yourself, Doyoung?**

He stares at the message for a few moments, before locking his phone and pocketing it. Doyoung doesn’t want to get riled up, not here and definitely not now. Why is Jaehyun suddenly talking like this? And why would he care?

Sighing, he turns again, facing the starless night. Doyoung takes another breath, letting it fill his lungs slowly. He doesn’t care about  _ everyone _ . He doesn’t do absolutely  _ everything. _ Jaehyun knows nothing.

Like any other party he’s been to, Doyoung wishes it would just end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was writing the last chapter when this was at 500 something hits, and now it's at 900! i'm honestly crying at this, thank you for the support <3
> 
> as always, I'm @evnsangcvlt over at twt!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	6. more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1400 hits and counting,,, i'm very emotional thank you ♡♡♡

**Doyoung** **  
** **8:00am, Excelsior Hotel Gallia, Milan**

Doyoung takes a bite out of his _crostatina gianduja_ , nodding along to the words of the lady on the phone. “Yes, we got the _Viano_ for later, it’s going to arrive at 5:30 on the dot, yes?”

It’s the day of the _Gala delle Notti Eterne_ , an annual gala held in Milan by a group of gallery directors, inviting artists, musicians, celebrities, and the like. It was smaller, rather intimate, and undeniably one of the more interesting gala nights of the year. Held at _A Arte Invernizzi_ this year, the gallery will feature a group exhibition titled _Il Cuore Dell'artista_ , taking nearly a dozen artists from around the world to showcase what it was like to delve into what artists hold dear to them. This year, the event is held as a fundraiser for a heart center in Milan, one that Taeyong has planned on visiting during their short stay here.

Unfortunately, due to the amount of people going this year, Taeyong couldn’t bring a plus-one with him, but Doyoung said he didn’t mind. He was sure that Taeyong will have all sorts of stories to tell him once he comes back to the hotel, and the both of them would probably be awake until after breakfast. Experiencing the event through Taeyong’s excited retelling was enough, he always believed.

Already, Doyoung had planned a day for himself, equal parts productive and tourist-y. Their past visits were too busy for him to manage to squeeze in his usual walks, so what better time than now?

“Hello, I’m calling to request an in-suite massage and special bath service for room number 107,” he says brightly into the phone, using his other hand to scroll through the menu he’s pulled up on his iPad. “Yes, the panoramic suite.”

Taeyong is sitting across from him, on his fourth _tortino dama_ of the morning, his eyes closed as he munches on the sweet pastry. Doyoung knows that he deserves it after practically no rest in the past three days, with him starting to work on another album, plus a final fitting for his outfits of the night, and then the flight to Milan straight after. Without a second thought, Doyoung transfers his _cornetto alla crema_ to Taeyong’s plate. He’s gonna need the food to get through today.

“Okay, so we’ll be getting the whole body massage for 9 am, and then the... _Bagno di latte al nettare della dea_ ,” he reads out, squinting at the details. “Yes, that one. It’ll be done by 1 pm, correct? Yes, alright. Thank you.”

He puts his phone down onto the polished marble table of their hotel suite. Doyoung is about to make more espresso for Taeyong with the in-suite DeLonghi Magnifica when the music producer pipes up.

“How many were attending the gala again?” He swallows down a bite, waving his fork in the air. “It’s more than last time, yes?”

Doyoung nods, gazing up at him. “There’ll be around 90 to 100 tonight.” He sips on his cappuccino. Despite never truly liking coffee, he’s always liked it here. “Don’t be pressured to talk to anyone you’re not familiar with. Yunho will be there, so I’m sure he’ll be happy to stay with you for a good portion of the night. I’ve sent you the brief on the artists and the gallery directors, it should be in your messages. If you need me to look up someone you just met there, I’m a text away.”

Taeyong licks his lips clean of the crumbs, considering what Doyoung has just said. “And you? Where will you be going today?”

Leaning back in his leather chair, Doyoung allows himself a small smile. “I’ll walk around, see what I can discover in this place. You know I never have a plan when it comes to stuff like that.”

There’s a sleepy smile on Taeyong’s face. He tilts his head to the side. “I like that you don’t plan for that. You deserve breaks like that.”

It makes Doyoung chuckle to himself. “I try to be productive on trips, too.”

Taeyong purses his lips at him. “You don’t have to be more productive than you already are.” A sigh leaves his lips. “If I could only convince you to take an actual break…”

“No need.” Doyoung shakes his head. “This is enough for me.”

The smile on Taeyong’s lips turns a bit sad. “One day, Doyoung.” He shakes his head, popping another bite into his mouth. “One day, I’ll get you to take a vacation.”

Doyoung lets a corner of his mouth quirk up. “Is that a threat?”

Taeyong only chuckles. “Maybe.”

They both fall into a comfortable silence after that, Taeyong listening to the song he’s working on while Doyoung looks out the window. Milan is still so bright this time of year, such a contrast to the grays of both New York and Seoul. Everything breathes so much life that he knows it would be a joy to walk while bathing in the Italian sun, feeling the life of the city bleed into him. Doyoung has always enjoyed the warmer places. He’s excited, already thinking of the photos he’ll take at the places he’ll wander to.

For now, though, he fires off a few texts to Taeyong’s stylists of the day, making sure that everything is all set before he would allow himself to relax.

The polaroid camera whirrs, and the photo slowly comes out. Doyoung can barely suppress the smile on his lips as he watches the photo develop right in front of his eyes. The _Duomo_ is still impressive no matter how many times he’s passed by, no matter how many photos of it he’s taken in the past years. It didn’t take much for him to find himself back to it, squinting against the sun as he takes it in. 

He almost always starts here at the _Duomo_ whenever they’re in Milan. Tradition now, he supposes. There was something comforting about seeing the cathedral, something that makes him feel like he’s where he should be. Year-round, people flock to here, but Doyoung does not mind the crowds. It won’t take away from his peaceful day.

 _It must be beautiful here at Christmas_ , he muses, recalling the many articles he’s seen of it from the past. To bundle up and go to here, breathing in the colder air and letting his form be bathed in the lights of the gigantic Christmas tree they set up every year. Christmas was never really his thing, sure, but it didn’t hurt to be somewhere breathtaking during one of the (supposedly) happiest times of the year. He thinks of the Christmas Market held in the _Piazza_ , walking through all of the stalls and picking sweet, warm things from wherever he can. He thinks of the antiques and the art that would line the other stalls, and maybe even taking one home.

Doyoung doesn’t think he ever truly believed in magic, but maybe Christmas here would be as close as he can be to it.

Tucking the polaroid film into an album he bought just for this trip, he starts walking. The _Galleria Vittorio Emanuele_ was close by, and he just wanted to walk around, see if he can find something new to try. A bit unlikely, but he knew it wouldn’t hurt. 

Milan is much warmer than Seoul in late November, and he relishes in the feeling of sunshine on his cheeks. It’s tempting to keep stopping and take more photos, but it’s equally as nice to just take it in.

Halfway there, he thinks he hears someone calling for him. Highly unlikely, Taeyong wouldn’t even be done by now and anyone else would have just rang his phone, so he thinks he misheard. He continues walking, already seeing the familiar dome of the shopping mall.

At the entrance, he’s halted by a hand on his shoulder, and his name again, “Doyoung.”

He turns to see that the hand belongs to none other than Jung Jaehyun, his hair windswept and his eyes golden in the sunlight. The smile on his face is bright and looking like he’s been laughing.

“Jaehyun?” Doyoung asks, a little stupidly, because of course it’s him. He doubts there’s anyone out there that can look quite like _that_.

The CEO nods at him, hand sliding down in between Doyoung’s shoulders. Doyoung, in credit to his years of experience, doesn’t tense, just trails his eyes from Jaehyun’s arm upwards. “You’re in Milan too,” he says, letting the end curl just a bit in question.

Jaehyun easily steers them both into the mall, where he drops his hand, but keeps close. “Business trip. Or, well, a trip to research for my business.”

Doyoung doesn’t ask about it until they’re walking inside the large expanse of the mall, light streaming through the glass above them and making everything glow. He makes sure not to sigh too loudly at the beautiful interiors of the mall, another place that continues to stay special to him.

They walk in amicable silence, mostly window shopping more than anything else. Far as Doyoung can see, not much of the shops have really changed, but they do seem a little brighter this year.

Nearing _Prada_ , a place Doyoung also knows how to go to without even looking, Jaehyun finally breaks the silence.

“Gala, right?” he asks, as casual as he can. Doyoung slows his pace, not sure where to go. He’s a little surprised that Jaehyun remembers, having had that little detail slipped into conversation long ago.

“Yeah, Taeyong couldn’t bring a plus one this year. So.” Doyoung stares at the white awning of the shop a floor above the designer store, and the pastries behind the glass. Already, he’s thinking of what he can possibly bring back for Taeyong. 

Jaehyun hums, following his gaze. “Do you want to go in?” he asks after a beat, and Doyoung thinks he can feel his hand ghost over his back, probably thinking about placing it there again but retracting. 

Silently, Doyoung nods, and leads the way up the stairs and into the _Pasticceria Marchesi_. He inhales the scent of sugar and coffee, pleased at being back at one of his favorite cafes in the world. 

Originally, he wouldn’t really want to stay long, maybe buy a few pastries and be on his way, but Jaehyun leads him to the table by a half-moon window. He pulls out a plush jade chair for Doyoung, who tries his best not to react too much to the gesture.

“I’ll order. Is that fine with you?” Jaehyun’s perfect eyebrows raise, and his eyes hold a hopeful gleam.

“Should I trust you with that?” he replies, raising his brows as well. Jaehyun is silent for a moment, before his face breaks into a smile.

“I’ll show you that you can.” He leaves, obviously ready for the challenge.

Once he’s some distance away, Doyoung allows himself to relax, running his hands over the soft white tablecloth. In truth, they haven’t really talked much since the Halloween Party at Neo Ent., and seeing him here and having a coffee with him isn’t how Doyoung thought he’d spend the afternoon.

Looking out the window at the view of the _Galleria_ , Doyoung bites his lip. He might be able to say that there’s something he has to attend to after this, and find a way to evade Jaehyun for the rest of the day. It’s not that he hates his presence. It’s more of… he doesn’t quite know how to deal with him right now.

The weeks without exchanging much but simple updates, mostly about Taeyong, were days that Doyoung wishes he wouldn’t have to experience again. It was awkward, and in a similar situation, he would have just ignored him or even blocked him. But this was Jaehyun, an important person both in the industry and to Taeyong, and he couldn’t just do that.

During that time, he had done a little more research on him. Jaehyun had graduated with a degree in law from a university in New York, working for his father’s firm for a couple of years before trying out different business ventures. First it was a music store tucked into a little neighborhood, then a gym uptown, then a foodtruck that served fusion food. It took him a year after the food truck (and after quite a trip around Asia) to start the cafe with his friend Johnny, the other J. The J&J cafe was originally just a small thing that stood beside the Jung law firm, with a seating capacity of about 5 people. 

Like most small businesses, it didn’t hit it off that quickly. Jaehyun personally delivered the coffee orders to the people working at the firm, not minding how many questions they had in their eyes. He was the only son, the heir to the firm. Many would ask why he’d give that up to run a little coffee shop, starting from what they viewed as basically nothing, and not getting much for it either.

Not that Jaehyun had cared. Over the past five or so years, his answer in the magazines and the newspaper articles remained: “It wasn’t my life to lead. I wanted my own, even if it meant that I would have coffee stains all over me and my hands will always have burns from steam. I wanted a life that was mine, and not what other people, especially my family, wanted from me.”

Sounded like it was straight from one of his mother’s inspirational coffee table books, but Doyoung had admiration for him all the same. Having a cafe in New York, one of the most saturated markets for that, would have been near impossible. They had to have an edge to them, have something that the others didn’t quite have, and that would have been difficult for their almost miniscule cafe that wasn’t even in a prominent part of town.

But the thing is, they found it. Their then-short menu was simple, but perfected. Jaehyun tirelessly brought up those coffees, and it took him a while to notice that the employees working there really liked them. Soon enough, those employees went to the cafe on their own. True to human nature, people were drawn by the line, and would fall in line as well to get their coffee. That little shop became packed on nearly all days of the week since then, and they slowly expanded to double their size, and then nearly triple, and then they started to have other branches.

Now, his face was familiar in the food and beverage industry in the States and some parts of Asia, even more so once he branches out to Korea. He was young, charming, intelligent, and could take the whole world of food and beverage with him if he wanted to. 

And he comes back, all pleased smiles like he knows he’s going to win (not that it was a competition in any way). He sits across Doyoung with ease, like he’s done this so many times before, sitting at this lush cafe at this spot and stare out into the almost unreal _Galleria_. He probably has.

Their orders come, and Doyoung doesn’t make it obvious that Jaehyun has successfully guessed his favorite from the menu: the _brioche al cioccolato_. Jaehyun seems to be waiting for something, but he only sips at his cappuccino.

“I just took a gamble with the coffee,” Jaehyun says, cutting into his _cornetto al pistacchio_. “I know you don’t really like coffee, but it’s great here.”

Indeed, Doyoung finds himself enjoying the cup of hot, foamy coffee. He allows himself a little sigh. “It is great.”

For a while, they fall into silence again, and Doyoung takes a polaroid of his bread and then another one of the interior of the place. He sets the films down on the table, waiting for them to develop. Jaehyun tilts his head at him.

“You like polaroids?”

Doyoung nods, finally cutting into his _brioche_. “A bit cheesy, but I like how they look. There’s just a lot more emotion in them, somehow.”

“I totally get it,” Jaehyun tells him, his smile this time with a dusting of crumbs. “Johnny has always loved film cameras. The pictures have this extra something to them that makes them more special.”

Watching as the greens of the cafe start to show, Doyoung says, “I always try to take photos when we travel. As many as I can. They don’t have to be perfect, they’re better that way.”

When he looks up, Jaehyun is looking at him with warmth in his eyes. “How many albums have you filled up?”

Doyoung puts another bite of the chocolatey bread into his mouth, letting it melt. “So far, I’m halfway through my eighth.”

The eyebrows raise again. “That’s a lot. What’s your favorite photo?”

As he thinks through all the ones he’s taken, most of which he can’t remember fully anymore, he realizes that it’s easier to talk to him like this. Jaehyun still has that humor about him, apparent even if he doesn’t say too many words. He’s quieter in real life, not exactly with the same confidence he has in texting but it makes him seem softer, more approachable. Doyoung hasn’t truly paid attention to his conversations with Taeyong, but it’s easy to see why he’d be endeared.

“I have one that I took in Japan.” 

Doyoung conjures up that day, with the cherry blossoms in full bloom. Taking the photo was difficult, with the sheer amount of people there, but he still loves that photo. It was one of the first ones he took with the camera his brother gave him for his birthday, one of the first ones since he started working for Taeyong. It’s in the sleeve of the cover of the album, the first photo he sees when he pulls the album out from the shelf.

He tells Jaehyun this, watching as Jaehyun listens attentively. Jaehyun is, surprisingly, only the second person to know about his photos, and some of the stories behind them. Doyoung isn’t quite sure why he lets him be.

They spend another hour or so in the cafe, long after Doyoung has finished his food and his coffee and Jaehyun has ordered a second for himself. Before leaving, Doyoung gets a box of fruit tarts and a box of truffles to take back to the hotel, Jaehyun helping him pick the best ones. Doyoung reminds him of the flavors that Taeyong likes, and Jaehyun picks half a box for what Taeyong likes, and half for what Doyoung likes. He doesn’t ask about it.

As they’re back out, wandering amongst the shops, Doyoung thinks of excusing himself. Before he can think of anything to say, Jaehyun offers to go to _Castello Sforzesco,_ promising he’ll pay for the ride to there. Doyoung bites his lip. It was on his rough list of where he wanted to go for the day, and surely it wouldn’t hurt.

So he lets Jaehyun practically drag him out, and Doyoung pretends he’s not excited.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **12:33pm, Mayflower Bakery, Myeongdong**

It’s Chenle’s birthday, and Jungwoo is on cake duty. That is, he needs to find a cake that fits quite the list he was given. Easy enough.

Accompanying him is Lucas, smile evident behind his mask. Jungwoo was starting to think Mark (and maybe the other boys too) has kind of an agenda when he nearly shooed Jungwoo and Lucas away while they were setting up for the surprise.

They haven’t really talked about the Halloween party (or what came after it), but Jungwoo figures that they didn’t need to. It’s not like they did anything they would heavily regret. In fact, they did see each other the next day, and Lucas was too hungover to even really try flirting with Jungwoo. Oddly enough, Jungwoo found that he missed it.

Biting November winds sting their cheeks and blow out their coats, but it’s still nice enough of a day to be out. They’ve decided to park the car and walk to the store, hands in their pockets, and the silence is welcome. 

The store is pastel yellow and rather tiny, charming with its white tables and the wooden birds dancing across the walls. A display case full of pastries that seem too perfect to be real is at the very front, looking like art more than food. As they draw closer, the slices look too precise as well, like the clay sets he used to have where he mixed all the colors together and cut with his little plastic knife. Jungwoo wonders briefly how anyone can manage to eat something so pretty.

He asks Lucas to sit down at one of the tables as he goes up to the counter, already pulling out his phone for the list. A petite girl with warm brown eyes and the cutest smile greets him, asking if there’s anything she could help him with.

Jungwoo lowers his mask, flashing his kindest smile. “I would like to ask if you customize cakes that can be claimed the same day?”

“Oh.” Her smile falters a bit. “We can only do very little personalization then, like the name and some ready-made decor. Is that alright?”

Nodding, Jungwoo looks down at the list on his phone. “Yes, that’d be fine!” He tells her the requests, as well as choosing a ready-made cake from the display. Chocolate, with berry icing between the layers. The girl — Nayeon, as her nametag says — lists all of his requests down on a pink notepad, repeating what he says to confirm. There are a few changes, depending on what the bakery has, but it’s fine.

After he’s sure that he’s said everything, he asks, “How soon can it be done?”

Nayeon taps her pen against her cheek. “It’d be okay for pickup around 4, I’d say.”

“Perfect!” Jungwoo exclaims, pulling out his card wallet and already looking for the card Jisung pressed into his palm earlier. “I’d also like two slices of your strawberry shortcake and two cups of lemon tea for while we wait, thank you.”

With a little nod, Nayeon opens the glass case and takes out the cake, setting it down on the counter for her to slice. She encourages him to take a seat first, telling him that she’ll bring the food over.

Lucas has already pulled down his mask, looking around at the place. His frame is a bit too big for the cute stools in the bakery, and Jungwoo knows he himself won’t be that much different. It’s all dainty and sweet here, not really fitting for either of them at first glance, but there’s childlike wonder in Lucas’ eyes as he reaches up for one of the plastic butterflies dangling from the ceiling.

“Haven’t been here before?” Jungwoo asks softly, unlooping his fabric mask from his ears and pocketing it. Lucas shakes his head, giving the butterfly a little tap. It knocks against a nearby butterfly, clacking gently.

“I can’t really eat a lot of sweets.” He shrugs, running his hand through his windswept hair. It’s a vibrant blue now, contrasting against the caramel of his skin. “You know how it is.”

Jungwoo purses his lips, nodding. “Model, right?”

There’s a nod, and a little smile. “Mostly ads, but I do runway too. Some magazine shoots here and there.” Jungwoo remembers thinking that he fits a toothpaste commercial with that smile. 

“How is it?” He steeples his fingers under his chin, tilting his head to the side. Lucas shifts, like he’s trying to get into a comfortable position while also trying not to fall off his chair.

“Not bad,” he says, but there’s a tinge to it that makes it sound like he’s unsure. “I get free stuff and I can travel often. I meet all sorts of famous people, like actors and photographers and designers. Pretty good really.”

Jungwoo doesn’t say anything more until the food comes, two slices of strawberry shortcake and two clear cups of tea set in front of them. He sees the spark of joy in the younger man’s eyes at the sight.

After taking some photos of his cake and tea to post on Instagram later, he looks up to see Lucas already cutting himself a bite. He waits until Lucas looks sated and happy before he speaks up.

“How is it really?” Jungwoo asks, looking down at his own slice. He looks up, fixing his eyes on those big brown ones he’s starting to really be familiar with. “All of it.”

There’s a hesitance in Lucas’s expression, the tip of his tongue darting out to lick icing off his top lip. He puts down his fork, now-free hand coming to wrap around his cup of tea. A little chuckle escapes him.

“People in the industry are assholes.” It’s the first time Jungwoo has heard him really curse, and it’s only years of being in his line of work that prevents him from flinching or reacting. “They look at any young model like they know they’re going to be fed to the lions soon.”

A moment passes where Jungwoo only puts a bite of cake in his mouth, letting it melt on his tongue. “How old were you when you started?”

“Sixteen.” Lucas looks out the glass wall adjacent to them. The leaves have long turned, nearly all of them already gone from the branches. There’s a last bit of warmth in their shades of brown and orange. “That’s already not that young anymore, honestly.”

Jungwoo doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue. Lucas turns back to looking at his plate, his dessert fork idly poking at a slice of strawberry. 

“And you can’t just be a pretty face or a nice body.” The corner of his mouth quirks up, and he shakes his head. “At that age, you had to be _more_. There should be something about you that they’d want to keep.”

While he keeps poking at the strawberry, Jungwoo thinks of some of the models he’s met before. Laughing at bars with their champagne in hand, some becoming arm candy to the most eligible bachelor in the room. None of them really talked to him, much more interested in his boss. That made sense. What didn’t make sense was their heels on his feet, or how he somehow ended up being the one to help them to their taxis at the end of the night.

“Here, in Korea, they value idols and actors. They’re more likely to become the models for products, no matter how mundane they may be.”

This, he knows. Star in the hottest drama of the year, and you’ll be the face of everything from moisturiser to the new Samsung fridge to frozen dumplings at the grocery store. Be part of one of the big idol groups, and see yourself on hand cream packaging and the iced tea in the convenience stores. Not everyone can be on that level.

Jungwoo has yet to see the faces of the models he’s met on anything. He’s sure they’re out there, or maybe he just doesn’t recognize them, or maybe Korea isn’t where they have the most offers. In any case, he just knows they are models mostly by observation and their slim business cards. Sometimes, they’re introduced as such by some guy at the party that clearly wants to get with one of them. 

“So, how does a guy from Hong Kong, absolutely not an idol or an actor in any way, make it?” A wistful expression passes across his face, and he inhales deeply. 

“How?” Jungwoo asks, when Lucas continues. He takes note of the little change in tone when Lucas said _idol_ , but does not comment on it.

Lucas shakes his head. “Having a company that can pull a few strings is a start.”

Neo Ent is the largest entertainment company in South Korea, a pioneer for the global Kpop phenomenon, as well as developing and popularizing several Kpop groups and soloists that have taken over the world by storm. They managed artists, actors, models, and the like, all finding their success. Neo Ent even has overseas divisions, developing artists in other countries as well. No doubt that they had power, and could make something out of someone relatively unknown.

“They first got me into promoting ice cream. Easy enough.” Lucas takes another bite of cake. He huffs out a laugh. “I don’t even remember the brand of it. It was fairly new in the market, and they needed someone who looked, as they said, _interesting_.”

The way he says the last word like he hates the taste of it in his mouth. _Interesting_. It didn’t take much for Jungwoo to guess why he said it like that.

“And yeah, I admit, I stuck out. Not quite the face they’d get for anything cosmetic yet, not at the time anyways.” He shrugs, and Jungwoo can feel the weight of it. “So something harmless, cute, something to gauge how people would react.”

Jungwoo already feels anger rise in him. He knows how it was, how stuff would’ve panned out. Even in 2015, not even that long ago, people here weren’t entirely accepting of the way some people looked, especially those slated to be celebrities of some sort. He’d seen it happen, seen the comments that people threw.

And if not that, some would be exploited because of their “interesting” looks. People wanted something different, something that wasn’t what they usually saw. Although seemingly a good thing, something that some of the media might make articles out of, the people only liked the surface of it all. They’d want features like that for a time, making it a trend. Because of course, people’s faces and ethnic features would be made trends, of course. And like all trends, they fad with time. If they found something more “interesting”, they’ll move on.

Lucas was 16. He was 16 and he would have already been exposed to that sort of thing probably even before he started modelling. And it was unfair, so unfair that Jungwoo is unsettled by the thought. 

“The response was okay. Nothing… drastic.” Lucas smiles up at him, apologetic. Like what he said isn’t how he wanted it to be. Jungwoo thinks he shouldn’t be the one to apologize. “So they tried other things. Clothing, shoes, food mostly. Seeing how they reacted. Then, they got me attending some parties.”

Jungwoo feels like he wants to punch something. Parties, they made him go to parties. If anything, Jungwoo knew that parties like that were really the worst possible places, especially for someone young and unsure. He would have had to socialize with all these unfamiliar people, just because they needed him to gain popularity somehow.

Like throwing bait into a pool of sharks. Jungwoo takes in a deep breath to calm himself.

“I was chaperoned, don’t worry.” Lucas is trying to comfort him, but he must know that Jungwoo would not be comforted by anything now. “They said meeting people would get you places.”

That’s something that Jungwoo knows well, too. In this industry, just knowing people would get you far. It could get you deals, opportunities, all these chances that you would’ve missed out on if they didn’t know of your existence. 

Honestly, it had to be more than just your existence that they were aware of. You had to make an impression on them that would last, or else you will disappear from their memories. These people didn’t have time for people who weren’t memorable.

“It did.” He exhales, and he’s both parts relieved and...sad. Jungwoo realizes he’s sad. “It got me my first runway job, then followed with offers for CFs. Others my age would kill to get that.”

Jungwoo licks his lips, then biting down. “They almost did, didn’t they?”

Lucas’s smile turns bitter. “As I said, people are assholes.”

 _And they’d be jealous of anything that shines_. To them, Lucas looked like a favorite, like someone they were so obviously willing to give more opportunities to. Surely, it would have been difficult to stomach it, when they might have been working in the industry for longer. 

But they didn’t know how it was like. Jungwoo didn’t want to think of what sort of comments Lucas would have had to endure, how many times he’d have to deal with people that weren’t patient with him learning the language, what sort of things he’d have to do to himself, to his body and his mind, to even get to where he is right now. He didn’t want to think of how many times Lucas would have heard words that he completely understood the implications of, words that weren’t intended to hurt but still stung somehow. 

It wasn’t fair. None of it was.

Jungwoo feels like his breath is stuck halfway to his lungs. “They weren’t the only assholes.”

Long, beautiful fingers twitch against the delicate cup. “You’re gonna get a bingo at this rate.” He doesn’t really bother to smile anymore. “Photographers, stylists, designers, assistants. Some of them are nice, honestly. Give you gifts, encourage you.”

Lucas’s long lashes bat against his cheeks. “And then there are others that seem like they want to see you break. See if you’ll give in the way so many others did. They say it’s all part of the industry, of the job.” His chuckle is hollow. “But they can’t break you anymore if you’ve been in a foreign country since the age of 13, barely seeing your family, your home, having been through hell and back with auditions and training and so many failed attempts at a career that looked so effortless for others.”

 _Auditions._ Jungwoo thinks of Mark, of his group, back at the company building. He thinks of how close he and Lucas are, and wonders how long they’ve known each other, what they’ve been through.

“But it’s not like I can leave it. I didn’t come this far to leave it.” His voice has an edge to it that Jungwoo has never heard from him before. He’s learning many things this afternoon, and it’s barely 3 pm.

When Jungwoo doesn’t reply, Lucas goes on. “It’s scary, though. They discard pretty faces all too easily, and to them, I’m only that. That’s all people like me are. Disposable, malleable toys.”

Something prickles at Jungwoo’s chest. That sentiment was familiar, something he’s always known himself.

In maybe 7 years, maybe (most likely) less, Lucas may not be remembered. His face might be everywhere now, but people forget. They always do. Somebody might bring up his old ads, mention his name, wonder where he is, but ultimately, he might just fade away from their minds once his billboards are replaced with new ones, and they find new models for their products. A job here and there maybe, but it won’t be like before.

He’s seen it happen, the types of models that everyone will use as their profile picture at some point, maybe even their phone wallpaper. They grace every magazine, hundreds of brands, and their name spread across all social media. There’s always something different about them, a distinct feature, like their brows, their cheekbones, mismatched eyes. A new kind of pretty, someone that people marvelled at.

The type of pretty that people will soon move on from. Because there’s always someone new, someone with something else to offer.

Taking a sip of his tea, Jungwoo debates reaching out to Lucas, taking his hand. But Lucas’s hands are folded in his lap, away from reach. Jungwoo lets himself smile, a weak attempt, at least.

“They never bother to look past that, huh?” He stirs his golden tea, watching it whirl in the cup. “You carry their brand, their clothes, their everything, and they don’t see you as much more than something they can replace within a few months.”

“You know a lot.” Lucas finishes off his slice of cake. There’s a quirk to his lips again, but it’s less like he’s sneering.

Jungwoo grins. “Too much.” It’s true, anyways.

Lucas cups his tea in his hands. For a bit, he just stares into it, seemingly thinking of what to say next.

“How about you?” he asks, still not looking up. “PA to the stars?”

Chuckling, Jungwoo shakes his head, glancing to the side. He sighs. “You make it sound like it’s glamorous.”

“It’s not?”

He shakes his head, small smile already on his lips. “There’s nothing glamorous about cleaning vomit out of the sportscar of your boss, or finding a way to make sure they’re not arrested for some stupid reason, or being handed a dog that absolutely does not like you.” Lucas has met his gaze, eyes wide. “It was never a pretty job.

The answering nod is full of understanding. “There aren’t a lot of pretty jobs out there.”

Jungwoo looks at him, all of 21 years old, knowing so much more than the middle-aged men Jungwoo has worked for in the past. “You’re absolutely right.”

“So, what’s your story?”

Finishing off his cake, Jungwoo says simply, “Another time.”

Lucas pouts, looking like he wants to cross his arms. “Who knows when I’ll get another time?”

Jungwoo has the slightest urge to pinch him. He pushes it down. “You will, don’t worry.”

**Doyoung** **  
** **7:15pm, Ristorante Ratanà, Milan**

Doyoung thinks he’s going to have to get used to thirdwheeling.

He’s wedged into a seat by the wall of the cozy restaurant, watching again as Taeyong’s eyes light up because of Jaehyun’s stories. In the warm light, Taeyong’s platinum hair looks like it almost glows, along with the rest of him. His smile is so wide Doyoung thinks that it might hurt, but Taeyong doesn’t seem to mind.

Jaehyun tells Taeyong why he’s here, a story that Doyoung has heard just the day before. Doyoung eats his _risotto_ in silence, not wanting to disturb them.

Of course, he wasn’t able to resist telling Taeyong that he had met the CEO at the _Piazza del Duomo_ once he had come to pick him up from the gala, and he didn’t miss the way that the music producer immediately perked up. Taeyong was just as surprised that he was there as Doyoung was, and started to ask more questions. Doyoung had answered as best as he could, but a part of him still couldn’t completely wrap his head around the idea of seeing Jaehyun out of the blue.

Back at the hotel room, Doyoung had pulled out the album he filled with polaroid films to show Taeyong. In his pajamas and some traces of his makeup still on his face, Taeyong had tucked his legs under him and reached for the photos, squinting at them in the warm lamplight. Doyoung had told him about everything he saw, every place he went to, all the old and new ones. Taeyong listened, like he always does.

Doyoung didn’t tell him that Jaehyun was with him for a good part of that. It felt like he shouldn’t, and he left out pretty much everything that concerned the CEO. He had even hid the one photo of Jaehyun that he took while Taeyong was in the bathroom, tucking it into a pocket of his bag. Something akin to guilt washed over him as he told Taeyong everything else, watching as his tired smile turned brighter with each little detail Doyoung mentioned.

In the bath, he had tried to soak as long as humanly possible without making Taeyong wonder if he was dead in there. Jaehyun had kept his hands off the rest of the time, only occasionally bumping into him when he tried to step out of the way of other people. Still, he wanted to wash away the feeling, of being so close while they explored the city. It felt… odd to him, something he couldn’t quite place.

Now, it looks like Jaehyun doesn’t want to say anything either. The conversation has steered into how he’s looking into the many different technologies of the the coffee machines in Italy, and his plans on testing a few once he gets back to New York. Taeyong, very much into coffee, is engrossed in the conversation, barely remembering his _tagliatelle_.

It’s their last night in Milan, their flight back to Seoul around this time tomorrow. He’s at least 95% sure that the two lovebirds will meet for breakfast tomorrow, quite possibly in their suite room, and Doyoung is dreading seeing them make heart eyes at each other that early. 

Then again, he might just have to get used to it, along with some other things.

If it wasn’t for some urgent matters that Taeyong had to attend to today, Doyoung is sure that he would have spent it sightseeing with Jaehyun. Of course, Doyoung would have been dragged along, probably taking their photos and gently pulling Taeyong away from the free samples of the stalls they pass. Instead, the music producer had only texted the CEO at every free time he got, and Doyoung caught all his little smiles.

Frankly, he didn’t mind that. He felt like he wasn’t going to be up for more exploring after coming home at nearly 11 pm and falling asleep at almost 5 am after he and Taeyong shared stories. All he could think of as he lay in bed was how somebody at the gala had apparently drunkenly purchased a piece of art worth millions, crying when they realized it wouldn’t fit into the trunk of their Bugatti.

Even now, he silently wishes the night would end early, even as he knows it most likely won’t.

Watching them talk, Doyoung thinks of taking a photo of them. Not a staged one. They look great together, like two pieces that will slot together once they’re close enough. The light in Taeyong’s eyes never dim as he looks at Jaehyun, and it’s too early to be sure, but Doyoung thinks he knows what that look is.

The waiter comes by with their _osso bucco_ , and Jaehyun dutifully puts a portion on Taeyong’s plate first, and then Doyoung’s. Even in the slightly dim light, Doyoung can tell that Taeyong has gone a little pink, his giggles bubbling in his throat.

He wonders what it will be like when Jaehyun visits Seoul, possibly even staying there for a bit. Of course, Doyoung would be witness to a lot of things, most of them probably things he has to look away from. He thinks of Mrs. Cho cooking for another one, then pulling Doyoung to the side after the meal to say she’s not sure of this one (she was never sure of any of the dates Taeyong brought home). He thinks of geting Ruby accustomed to the newcomer, which he’s sure will be fairly easy with how easy-going Jaehyun seems with pets. He thinks of how he might not get movie nights with Taeyong anymore.

Doyoung thinks of how he’ll fit into Taeyong’s life, their lives, if ever he chooses to.

His wine glass is almost empty, so he signals at the waiter to refill it for him. He takes a sip, letting the smooth sweetness coat his mouth. Doyoung looks across from him, where Jaehyun is listening intently to Taeyong describe a personal project he’s working on.

There’s honestly not a lot that Doyoung knows about him. He knows how he got to where he is now, he knows that he likes preparing coffee for people and he has a thing for walking in parks. They’ve been texting for the better part of almost 3 months, and yet Doyoung feels like he knows nothing.

Normally, with guys that Taeyong was interested in, Doyoung did what he could to find out their interests, find things that they’d both talk about should they meet again (and Doyoung did what he could so that they would meet again). It was a way to prepare, a way to be ahead of anyone else interested.

But Jaehyun. He can’t quite comprehend everything about him. It’s obvious that he and Taeyong click, all too easily even, and that’s great. He looks like he’s willing to learn about Taeyong, and the vice versa was true as well.

A part of him is curious to know more. If he’s going to have Jaehyun with them, he’s going to have to adjust to his habits and likes as well.

Already, Jaehyun seems like the type to easily slot into their couch like he fits there. Doyoung knows that Taeyong wants him to fit there, even if he hasn’t explicitly said it yet.

It might be hard to get used to that smile in the morning, the possible bickering maybe, the new addition to their board game nights. There’s that model kit that they haven’t finished yet, will Jaehyun help? There’s also that worn-out sweater that Taeyong likes, will Jaehyun encourage him to keep it? Will Jaehyun make them coffee every morning?

Doyoung thinks he has too much thoughts about this. Nothing’s official yet, and he’s rushing before either of the lovebirds have made any actual move towards that direction. For now, they’re just enjoying each other’s company (with the addition of a PA halfway through his bowl of _risotto_ ). It’s nice like this, and maybe they can keep the pace for a while longer.

The night ends earlier than Doyoung had guessed it would, with Jaehyun walking them up to their hotel room. Doyoung slips inside before he can witness whatever they choose to exchange outside the door, and he busies himself with packing up.

Taeyong comes in a few minutes later, flushed and grinning like he physically does not have the power to stop. He sits in his bed, jeans and all, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

“Everything okay?” Doyoung asks, zipping one of his bags. He places it in the closet. “You look a little red there, Yongie.”

The music producer squeals a little, squirming. “Oh, Doyoung.” He looks so, so happy, like he’s going to start jumping any minute.

“Usually I can decode your squealing but help me out here,” Doyoung jokes, folding his cardigan neatly before putting it into his carry-on.

There isn’t an answer for a while, and Doyoung looks up to see Taeyong just staring at the ceiling, sighing dramatically. It makes him chuckle.

“Yongie, are you in love?”

Taeyong’s head whips down to look at him, eyes wide and mouth even wider. “I didn’t -”

Doyoung stands up, walking over to him and sitting down on the plush comforter. He pulls Taeyong into a one-armed hug. “You don’t have to admit it now, you know.”

Big, brown eyes stare at him, trying to read whatever is on his face. The smile that graces Taeyong’s face looks like it’s .2 seconds away from breaking into a crying face.

“I’m just…” Taeyong begins, looking down at his hands. “I’m just so happy.”

It makes Doyoung smile. “I know. I can see it.”

For a few moments, Taeyong just fiddles with the rips in his jeans. Doyoung twirls a finger in one of Taeyong’s longer strands of hair at the top of his head.

“It’s scary, how happy I am,” Taeyong whispers.

 _Oh, Yongie._ Doyoung pulls him in closer, fingers carding softly through his hair. He’s scared too, he must admit. He’s long known that some perfect things in life had a catch somewhere.

They stay like that for who knows how long, until Doyoung’s thighs hurt from the position and even Taeyong is shifting, looking like he wants to melt into the thousand thread-count sheets. Then, Taeyong mumbles something into Doyoung’s shirt that he can’t quite hear.

“Can you repeat that, sweetie?”

Taeyong pulls away, pink on his skin from where he pressed against Doyoung. “Jaehyun’s coming home to Seoul with us.”

**Jungwoo** **  
** **8:20pm, Hai Di Lao Hotpot, Namdaemun-ro**

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay, when did you say this filming for the show was?”

They were in the middle of singing Chenle the happy birthday song for probably the third time today over dinner when Jungwoo’s phone started ringing. He excused himself and slipped out quietly, taking his planner with him. Jungwoo thinks he saw Mark raise his brows as he stood up, knowing there’s only a handful of reasons why he’d take a call in the middle of something like this.

“On the 8th, you say?” Running a finger down a page, he quickly reads the schedules for the next weeks. “And how long is the filming? Two hours? Alright.”

Pencilling it in, Jungwoo says, “I’ll get back to you on this soon.” He makes the smile in his voice apparent. “Thank you for calling, I’ll be in touch.”

Ending the call, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Another schedule that might be added to an already-busy December. He’s going to have to talk to the managers first about that, but he has a feeling that he already knows the answer.

Jungwoo knows that if he peeks at the planner now, he’ll see the entirety of December to February pretty much booked and busy, with shoots, filming for shows, preparations, fansigns, and many other things in between. Most everything is set to go, as long as nothing happens along the way to delay them.

There are a few schedules he’s going to rearrange or maybe cancel altogether. It wasn’t going to be healthy to get Mark to do all of these, with very little rest in between. Hell, all of their schedules weren’t healthy. He’s going to have to make sure to talk these over with their managers.

It’s nearing the end of November, and it was surely showing it. Other than the cold starting to settle over them like a heavy blanket, the year-end and new year preparations were coming at them full force, and it was piling up. Already, he was hesitant to take any more schedules, but things just can’t be his call.

It’s nearing the holiday season, and Jungwoo realizes it’s going to be his 6th one alone. Sad when you think about it maybe, but it’s not like Jungwoo minds. He’s never minded. The quiet holiday seasons were more than he could ask for, the best gift he could probably get himself (other than a solid 12 hour nap maybe). It was always better when they were quiet.

Well, this year won’t be that quiet, he guesses, as he has to be with 7 young adults, still with a lot more energy than he has on a regular basis. But this noise is welcome, a far cry from what he used to have.

Leaning against the company van, Jungwoo inhales deeply. There’s some texts in his phone that remain unanswered for about a week now, not really related to his job, and something he really should answer.

 **[noona dearest]** **  
****are u going to come home?** **  
** **it doesn’t have to be for christmas**

He hasn’t visited home in probably half a decade. Too long, if he’d ask his sister. He has no idea if the elementary school he went to near his home had finished renovations, no idea if his parents ever did start a flower shop. Jungwoo knew a lot of things, always did, but he never really knew a lot about what he had left behind.

There’s the sound of the door chimes of the restaurant tinkling, so someone must have come out. Jungwoo doesn’t turn to look. The footsteps sound familiar, and Jungwoo straightens himself.

“Another one?” Mark asks, looking straight ahead. It seems like he’s trying to sound casual about it, but there’s a tired edge to his voice.

“Yes,” Jungwoo answers. For a while, he just listens to Mark zip his hoodie up and down.

“For all of us or just me?” He already knows how this works.

“All of you.” That was a relief at least. All of them were able to carry themselves in their individual endeavors if need be, but they were much better as a group. More relaxed, more like they’re actually enjoying.

He thinks he hears the idol let out a relieved sigh. “Are you going to come back inside? Chenle and Jisung are halfway through the cake already.”

Very Mark to not ask when the schedule was, already knowing that whether or not he knew, they were going to it. “I’ll stay here for a bit more, walk around. Seulgi put too many meatballs on my plate, I need to digest them, I think.”

Mark laughs at this, also a victim of overfeeding by his managers. “You should see what happens at Christmas.”

Jungwoo thinks of the millions of things they have to do before Christmas. There’s no true rest in this industry. “Will Christmas put me into bed rest for a week?”

The idol laughs again, rubbing his hand over his face. “Something like that. Halloween has nothing on the Christmas party.”

“Oh no,” Jungwoo says, giggling. “I don’t think I can haul 8 people into their beds.”

“Eight?” Mark questions, then realizing a moment later. “Oh. You really brought Lucas home?”

Humming, Jungwoo allows himself a small smile. “Yeah. Surprisingly, he wasn’t as difficult as some of the others I had to handle.” At least Lucas wasn’t twice his size, alternating between sobbing and nonstop giggling, and smelling of all things unholy. In fact, he was probably more put-together than most of his previous bosses sober. 

Mark considers this. “He doesn’t remember, does he?”

“Nope.” Far as Jungwoo knows, anyways.

“Are you planning on telling him?”

Hm. Jungwoo doesn’t know the answer to that. He wouldn’t just randomly bring it up, yes, but would he ever admit to it happening if prompted? There doesn’t seem to be a reason to keep it from him forever, though.

“I don’t know yet,” Jungwoo admits. “Do you think I should?”

Mark seems surprised that he’s asking him. So far, he’s been doing all the asking about decisions, be it concerning his idol life or not. He ponders for a bit, like he’s not sure if he has an answer that Jungwoo will agree to. “I think he’d be freaking out and pretend he isn’t.”

Giggling, Jungwoo says, “I’ll save him from that, then.”

When Mark doesn’t reply, Jungwoo asks a question that he’s been meaning to for a while. “How long have you known him?”

The idol is silent, and Jungwoo can’t quite tell if he’s hesitant or counting. After a moment, Mark says, “About eight years now.”

“That’s a long time.”

“Yeah.” His voice is softer now. “He’s one of my first friends in the company.”

“How’d you meet?”

A smile blooms across Mark’s features. He inhales deeply, and Jungwoo almost matches it out of habit. “There’s this… couch outside the audition room. The type of leather that sticks to you when you’re wearing shorts, you know? I was wearing shorts then.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “Lucas came a little bit after me, and the couch made sounds when he sat down on it. I tried not to laugh, but it sounded so weird that I couldn’t help it.”

Jungwoo thinks of younger, wide-eyed Lucas and the smaller, bonier Mark he’s seen from old videos. He thinks of the bright smile that he’s sure Lucas always had.

“He laughed with me, and then rocked in his seat so that he kept making the sounds. I figured we were both nervous, but that definitely eased that. He became my first friend there.” The way Mark is blinking is now slow, like he’s letting everything come back to him now. “Lucas wasn’t loud on the first day, but he was on the days that followed. I always knew where he was.”

Nodding, Jungwoo tries to conjure up this image of them, young and nervous, joking around like the kids that they were. “Best friends ever since, I assume?”

Mark hums, nodding as well. “We always sat together, those of us that weren’t too familiar with the Korean language then. Lucas would always save a seat for me, and I’d always pick the lunch for him. It was how we were, and even though we’re past that, old habits really die hard. We’re not as stuck by the hip anymore, but that doesn’t mean we’re not close.”

Jungwoo smiles at this. He’s seen it, their ease around each other, the wordless trust that they have. He’s pretty sure that Lucas would fly across the world if Mark needed him, and that Mark would defend him to the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes. Their schedules don’t quite align, he knows this, but he also knows that both make the effort to keep in touch, understanding more about each other than Jungwoo can comprehend. It was beautiful, this friendship that is sure to stay until the end.

It was good to know that they had each other, from their beginnings to where they are now. Being in this industry will never be the easiest thing, so to have someone who understands like that, he knows it matters so much.

He has one more question, and he can’t predict how Mark will react to it. “Audition?” he asks gently, now turning to face him. Mark’s smile tightens in the slightest, and he lets out a soft sigh.

“Audition,” he confirms, now looking at Jungwoo. His hair is quite long now, and they’ll probably have him cut it before another round of fansigns. “He auditioned, like I did. He…”

“Wanted to be an idol.” Jungwoo had guessed, and just needed confirmation. He didn’t want to bring it up with the model, not knowing if it would hurt him or anything like that. The thought gives him a twinge of sadness.

“Yeah,” Mark says, voice almost a whisper now. A motorcycle whizzes by behind them. “He was almost with us.”

It’s obvious in Mark’s tone that he’s upset about it too, having not debuted with his best friend. It would have been a dream.

“What happened? If it’s okay for you to tell me,” Jungwoo adds.

Mark only shakes his head. “He never did say. Not to me.” He’s sad about that too, that his own best friend couldn’t tell him what happened. “He trained with us, stayed with us in the trainee dorms, all of that. Then, for some reason, he didn’t debut with us.”

Jungwoo looks at the restaurant, where he can just make out Lucas smearing remnants of icing on Chenle’s cheeks. He’s laughing, and Jungwoo can practically hear it from here. Seeing that, and knowing what he knows now, Jungwoo feels something heavy settle at the pit of his stomach.

“It never is fair, huh?” He turns his gaze back to Mark, who is also looking through the restaurant windows. 

Mark purses his lips. “When has anything ever been fair?”

If there’s anything that Jungwoo knows for sure, is that none of it has ever been.

They go back together to the restaurant, where it seems like everyone is now enjoying dàn tà and xìng rén dòng. Lucas scoots over in the booth seat to make room for Jungwoo, his smile contagious. Jungwoo doesn’t even know who puts the dessert in front of him first, Lucas or Seulgi, but he thanks them both. 

While everyone falls into easy conversation about the nearing holiday season, Lucas gently nudges him, sipping on his tea before he speaks. “ _Tu es jolie_.”

He smiles like he has a little secret. Jungwoo is a bit surprised for a moment, before he processes the words. “I know what that means.”

The smile grows. “ _Sei carina._ ”

“I know that too.” Jungwoo takes a bite out of his dàn tà.

“ _Du bist hübsch._ ” His grin doesn’t falter one bit.

“Why are you trying to flirt in different languages?” Jungwoo asks, raising his brows but not quite looking at him.

Lucas laughs then, muffling it behind a hand. “I know a few more, if you’d like. But that’s all I really know how to say.”

Jungwoo laughs too, shaking his head. “I’ll take it.”

The answering grin is blinding, warmer than any bit of sunshine they’ve gotten in the last few weeks. Jungwoo decides that he’ll willingly haul this one back home any chance he gets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have been...quite out of it these past weeks. starting this chapter was hard, but somewhere along the way, i got motivated to finish it. i wanted to do this one thing, finish it so i feel less like a wilting vegetable.  
> i was hoping that this would be a break somehow if you need it. there's a lot happening in the world, and it's making everyone feel all sorts of (mostly negative) things. it's okay to feel like you're not up to doing the things you used to do, these days are hard for so many of us.
> 
> [here](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/) is a link to a carrd that has petitions, translations, and other resources for blm, junk terror bill, stand with hong kong, and others. please do check it out if you can! sign the petitions, donate if possible, spread the word. not everyone can go to protests right now, but we can still help in many different ways.
> 
> i hope you stay safe during this time! my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt) is here if you wanna talk, or maybe drop more links to resources. i love you all, please take care! ♡


	7. merry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, it is Christmas in June everyone!

**Jungwoo** **  
****3:30pm, Myeongdong**

Donghyuck doesn’t really do Christmas lists, and Jungwoo, for once, doesn’t help make one either.

They’re in the first gift shop they came across while Jungwoo was navigating through Myeongdong. It seems like a fairly popular one, with it being nearly packed with people doing last minute shopping. There’s less than two weeks before Christmas, of course everybody’s in a rush. Donghyuck, on the other hand, looks like he wants to peruse casually.

Jungwoo had already gone shopping with Mark a few days ago, and Mark had something of a list. Not quite, but the thought was there. They’d gone back with armfuls of bags, which somehow fit into Mark’s closet and under his bed. Absolutely the opposite of inconspicuous, but barely anyone in the dorm paid them mind anyways.

Today, Jungwoo has brought along large reusable bags to stuff the items into, so they don’t have to struggle holding onto so many straps. He’s dumped them into the tiny cart that the shop offers, trailing behind the silver-headed boy.

“Do you like Christmas, hyung?” Donghyuck asks, picking up some sparkly ornaments and turning them over in his hands. 

Jungwoo gets a box of fairy lights that Renjun has requested, putting it into the lower basket. “I don’t really like it for all the reasons that other people do, I think.”

Donghyuck snickers, turning over a container of golden animal ornaments to look at the price tag. “Ah, not liking the whole sentimental during the holidays thing? This one’s 15000 won.”

Nodding, Jungwoo takes the container from his hands to place it in the upper basket. “I appreciate it for what it is: a holiday. A day to sleep. Maybe it’s just me getting old.”

This makes Donghyuck laugh. “You’re 26, hyung. That’s not ancient.”

“Ten thinks I function like a 50-year-old.”

They’re by the display of cute kitchen items, most of them pastel colored or having animals on them made from silicone. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you do. That’s coming from someone who has to work with 50-year-olds often.”

It makes the softest of laughs escape Jungwoo. He watches as Donghyuck picks out a pink set of measuring cups and spoons. “I’ll take it.”

When they’re in the aisle of miscellaneous items, Jungwoo asks him, “Do _you_ like Christmas?”

The idol is silent for a bit, just looking at the many varied art supplies. “Used to. I mean, it’s still nice, but it’s not what I used to enjoy.”

That’s something that Jungwoo understands. It was still a time for celebration and gifts and all that, and people were usually nicer during this time, but he just can’t get himself to actually like it.

Donghyuck puts a set of colored markers into the cart. He shrugs, before stooping low to get to the canvases on a lower shelf. “Maybe that’s what getting old is about, huh? Stuff like that just doesn’t appeal as much anymore.”

Jungwoo thinks back to their Christmas vlogs from last year. They were mostly decorating or shopping if they didn’t catalogue their tour experiences. Last Christmas, they had decorated a tree as best as they could, encouraging their fans to also enjoy the process. They also did a simple gift exchange on camera, and Jungwoo only recently learned that they don’t always give gifts to each other during occasions such as Christmas. Either they were too busy, or they just opted to eat together.

This year, some of them have been filming for the holiday vlogs as well. A group video was already done. Mark was scheduled to record a Christmassy cover within the week. Jeno along with the two youngest had done some crafts together to spruce up the practice room they’re almost always in. Jaemin was set to bake Christmas cookies with Renjun. Donghyuck was already done with his video, where he looked for stocking stuffers for the other members, but they were discussing having him in the cover video with Mark. The footage was ready to be released, and then they’d start filming something for the New Year.

It’s what the holidays have become for them. They’re younger than Jungwoo, yet they’ve been working on holidays for about as long as he has, probably even more than he has. He gets why the season isn’t viewed as something to be genuinely enjoyed anymore, not when there are schedules to go to and content to produce and places to be. 

“Given the chance, if you were absolutely free to do anything, what would you do during the holidays?” Jungwoo asks, genuinely curious. He gets a snowglobe with a tiny puppy peeking out from its doghouse inside, curious eyes looking at the falling glitter. 

Pouting, Donghyuck reaches for a different snowglobe, turning it in his hands. “I dunno.”

Jungwoo nods understandingly, putting the snowglobe gently into the pile. “You can think about it while we go around the store.”

They make a few laps around, with the idol picking up items every now and then and instantly thinking of who to give them to. Jungwoo separates for a bit to get wrapping paper and gift bags, and some tape while he’s at it. He’s not sure why, but all traces of the tape he’s stocked up on the past week have disappeared.

At the plushie section, they take a slightly longer time. There’s surprisingly not a lot of people there, so they don’t feel like they’re going to be rushed. Donghyuck finds a fluffy cartoon bear hat to put on his head, the tags swishing as he walks along to examine the plushies on display. Pushing the slightly overloaded cart along, Jungwoo looks at the toys too, racking his brain for anyone who might like a plushie for Christmas.

At the end of the section, Donghyuck walks back up to him, saying simply that he wants to find some medium-sized ones that he can donate to the orphanage the group always visits regularly. Jungwoo tells him to wait with the cart while he gets another one for the plushies.

Within minutes, the idol has picked out a variety of pastel-colored bears, bunnies, and puppies. Jungwoo counts them, trying to recall how many kids were at the orphanage the last time they were there. It was after their first few fansign events, and apparently it was the anniversary of that particular orphanage. There, the boys seemed genuinely happy to be interacting with the kids, handing out scarves, gloves, earmuffs, and socks for the upcoming winter. It was one of the rare moments that they seemed actually relaxed, despite still having instructions to follow. All the kids welcomed them with a warmth that was so different from how so many others would welcome the boys, and it was nice to see.

They were set to have another visit right before Christmas, with absolutely no cameras and no press. Jungwoo decides that he likes that particular schedule.

The holidays meant more work in this industry, yeah, but there were still moments that had the spirit of the season in them. Maybe Jungwoo will learn to enjoy the season more.

When they’ve checked out everything and some staff help them put the overloaded bags into the car, Jungwoo sees the slightest smile on Donghyuck’s lips. It’s soft, as he looks at all the stuff he personally picked out for the members, their managers, the staff, and the kids. He goes to his seat silently.

Halfway back to the dorms, his voice pipes up from the seat he’s occupying. “Can you help me wrap? Everyone’s at the company building, but I just wanna make sure everything’s done before they come back.”

Jungwoo smiles, even though Donghyuck can’t see. “Of course.”

Later, when Jungwoo is trying to figure out how to wrap some of the more oddly-shaped gifts, Donghyuck finally answers his earlier question.

“I want to go home.”

Jungwoo looks up at him, eyebrows raised in question. The idol continues.

“I mean, I can, but going home means I’ll miss it even more when I come back.” He’s fiddling with the reindeer-printed wrapper he’s using for the smaller gifts. “I can only really be there for a week, tops, and it’s never really enough, y’know?”

Jungwoo doesn’t know. He hasn’t been home in so long that he doesn’t know what it feels like to miss it. Staying quiet, he hopes that the boy just goes on.

“And things change all the time right? I don’t even know how much change I’ve missed out on.” Donghyuck finishes taping up the side of the gift. “I don’t know how much I’d still recognize.”

That, he understood. Would he even recognize anything if he came home? Would it even feel like home?

“But I know I’d still miss it, whatever those changes are.” Staring into space for a moment, Donghyuck takes in a deep breath. “I’ll miss what new thing my mom did to her hair. I’ll miss whatever weird concoction my dad and uncle would come up with for dinner. I’ll miss my sisters never shutting up about whatever it is they’re talking about these days. By the time I get to visit again, all of it would be different. Again. Like there’s nothing really familiar to me anymore, and I keep missing things that were from long ago and I might not experience again even if I go home.”

Momentarily pausing in his work, Jungwoo asks, “But you still want to go home?”

Silently, Donghyuck nods. “It’s gonna hurt when I leave, but at least I have memories again there. At least I have something to bring back and remember.”

And it’s sad, how Jungwoo knows that he’s not the only one who feels like this. Having a family that supported him, that saw him fulfill his dreams of becoming an idol, and yet it’s almost like they can’t even have him back. There was no doubt that they were proud of him, but it was rare that they could even let him feel that in person. Now all Donghyuck wanted was time with them, memories to bring with him to everywhere he goes. He had been working hard for all his years here; he at least deserves that.

He wonders how long it’s been since Donghyuck has seen them, and the thought makes him sadder. Jungwoo chooses not to ask about it.

“Here’s family too, though,” Donghyuck says, his voice soft. “We’re honestly just a bunch of sad, young adults too tired to really put up a Christmas tree without being told we have to for a video. We all miss something, someone, someplace during this time. We’re family in that we’re all just numbly aching together. Kinda depressing, but we do try to make the holidays happier for all of us.”

Jungwoo feels himself smile at this, all the while something prickles at his chest. The boys have been together for nearing a decade now, and their bond is undeniable. Knowing that they try what they can to make sure it’s not miserable for any of them warms Jungwoo’s heart. The holidays weren’t enjoyable for most of them anymore, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make it nice.

“You’re a great family,” Jungwoo says, tying the emerald green ribbon nicely on the gift. “I wouldn’t say perfect, but you fit together nicely.”

Donghyuck chuckles at this. “You’re part of it now, too. Do you know that? You’re part of this sad, overtired family now.”

Jungwoo grins. That was arguably the nicest thing anyone’s said to him in years.

“Do I get to be part of the infamous Dream karaoke sessions?” Jungwoo jokes, reaching into the bags for another item to wrap.

The idol laughs. “Yes, you have to be. It’s a rite of passage.”

Giggling, Jungwoo goes back to wrapping. He’s finished with it once he thinks of something.

 **[Jungwoo]** **  
****Seulgi, I think I might have a request**

Jungwoo crosses his fingers and waits for a reply. It comes less than a minute later.

 **[Seulgi]** **  
****sure. what is it?** **  
****as long as it isn’t that whole ball pit they wanted to rent out, i’m listening.**

He steals a look to Donghyuck, who’s focusing on cutting the wrapping paper straight. 

**[Jungwoo]** **  
****No, nothing like that** **  
****Just a little something for Christmas**

And when the reply to that comes, Jungwoo thinks that maybe the holidays can be more than just _nice_ again.

**Doyoung** **  
****6:10 am, Lee Residence, UN village**

The thing about Jung Jaehyun, apparently, is that he wakes up earlier than even Doyoung. Which, frankly, is not something Doyoung is used to.

By the time that he’s padding out of his room, ready to start breakfast for himself, Jaehyun is already in the kitchen, tinkering with the coffee machine he’s brought to here. His back is to Doyoung, in understated pajama bottoms and a white shirt that falls nicely on his frame. Doyoung thinks it’s far too early to talk to him, but it doesn’t seem like he has a choice. 

His footsteps are soft, but Jaehyun notices anyway. He turns around, cheeks punctuated by his dimples as he smiles. It’s just like New York, with the dreary sunlight making him look even brighter than he usually is. And just like New York, he just has Doyoung sit down while he prepares tea.

“Third cupboard to the right,” he tells him, settling on one of the barstools. Jaehyun says thanks, opening the cupboard and taking out a box of tea. One of the ones he’s sent over since the first gift he gave. Even with his sleep-bleary eyes, Doyoung recognizes it as the blend he most enjoyed at the cafe.

While Jaehyun boils water and retrieves Doyoung’s cup, he casually remarks, “You’re up early.”

“Could say the same to you.”

Jaehyun chuckles. “My body clock’s very messed up. I’m still a bit stuck on New York time, and also apparently Italian time. I’m gonna need another day to really adjust.”

Doyoung hums, tracing the patterns on the fruit bowl near him. “You didn’t sleep?”

“Not really.”

“Surprised you can function like everything’s fine.”

“Everything _is_ fine.” Doyoung can practically hear his grin.

Choosing not to say any more, Doyoung just waits for his tea. It’s too early to bring out his tablet and phone too, since Taeyong wouldn’t be up for at least a few more hours. He can get to them after breakfast and some stretching.

Having Jaehyun here is not exactly what he expected. He’d come here after another quick trip to both New York and Milan again, not bothering to stop by his old house like he did when he came back here with them. Jaehyun was mostly away once they had come back to Seoul, and then shortly after, returning to New York for some more of his stuff and then Milan for another research trip. He had just stayed for a dinner once before he left, and now he’s back, moving like he knows exactly how to fit in here.

Doyoung supposes he will fit in here after a bit. Right now, he’s staying in the only other available guest room, saying that he doesn’t want to go too fast with being in Taeyong’s room. Okay, that made Doyoung like him a bit more. Nobody else really even thought of that option, surprisingly and disappointingly.

He can get used to here pretty easily, but Doyoung isn’t sure he’ll get used to him just like that. Doyoung was always quietly wary of who Taeyong wanted to date, not wanting to trust them completely until they gave him reason to (which, more often than not, did not come up). But Jaehyun. Jaehyun is not… someone he’d normally be wary of. He can trust him enough. But having him here, living with them, it’s just not something he knows how to deal with yet.

Of course, he’ll learn. Doyoung always learns to adjust. So he’ll learn how to live with Jaehyun, and whatever comes with that.

The cup of tea is placed in front of him carefully, along with a reheated pastry from last night. Jaehyun doesn’t sit, just brings over his own cup of coffee to the bar island and facing Doyoung.

“Does Taeyong have any schedules today?” he asks, sipping at his coffee. He’s using Taeyong’s favorite mug, Doyoung notices. 

Doyoung chews on his bite of pastry before answering. “He’s gonna have to go to the studio later to check up on things, but otherwise he’s free. Why?”

“I want the both of you to come with me to check on the cafe.” He’s beaming now over his cup, and his eyes are now scrunched up. “It’s almost done now, we can open by Christmas. I wanted to show you around before anyone else.”

Sipping on his tea, Doyoung considers this. “I’ll ask Yongie once he wakes up.”

He already knew the answer, of course he did, but he just didn’t want to say yes to Jaehyun yet. Still, Jaehyun’s face lit up with hope.

“Okay! I’ll just be there the whole day, text me when you’ll drop by.” He finishes his coffee, washing his mug in the sink and going straight to his room, presumably to shower. Doyoung lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Mrs. Cho comes out at that moment, tying her apron behind her back. She’s squinting at the door of the guest bedroom. Doyoung almost laughs at the sight.

“Do you already dislike him, Mrs. Cho?” he asks, drinking more of his lemon tea.

The housekeeper huffs out a breath. “I don’t know yet.”

And that, Doyoung can agree with. He doesn’t know either.

It’s nearing the evening when they arrive at the cafe, standing a bit awkwardly in front of it when they get out of Taeyong’s Audi. From the outside, it looks nothing like the one in New York that Doyoung went to, but somehow, it has the same feeling.

Taeyong is fussing over his scarf, loosening it before tying it again. He stops immediately when Jaehyun steps out of the building, eyes bright as they alight on the two.

“Hey!” he calls, waving. “Come inside!”

Doyoung places a firm hand on the small of Taeyong’s back, gently pushing him forward. He lets him go first, just enough, so he can watch his now mauve-y head. It’s not long before they reach the entrance, and Jaehyun’s arms almost enclose them as he ushers them inside, smile on his face wide and warmer than whatever sunlight they have left.

Inside, Doyoung realizes just how different this branch is from the one he had frequented. Off-white walls were a nice contrast to the honey-colored wood arches being artfully decorated with lush green vines. Twinkling lights seemed to peak from the leaves, warm just like the light from the woven lanterns dotted around the place. Marble countertops and marble-topped tables gave a sense of easy elegance, offset by dark industrial metal framing. There’s plants being placed everywhere, adjusted every now and then by who Doyoung assumes is the interior designer Jaehyun hired for this. He can see pastel colored chairs further into the cafe, a far cry from the simple metal ones in New York.

Taeyong takes in the surroundings with wonder in his eyes, hand already reaching into his pocket for his phone. This was definitely a place that Doyoung saw him frequenting, regardless if he knew of Jaehyun or not. As Taeyong follows Jaehyun on a little tour, Doyoung hangs back, observing a little more.

This branch feels more laidback, less of a working space and more of a place to hang out in. Even with the marble countertop, it’s all balanced out by the plants and the smattering of different chairs in the seating areas. There are even books and games being tucked into shelves, ready to be used by customers. This cafe may be in a more upscale part of town, but he can easily see people from everywhere flocking to it and enjoying its inviting atmosphere.

Undoubtedly, Taeyong would hang out here whenever he can. On most days, he’d hole up in his room if he didn’t have anywhere to go, creating music and stewing in his thoughts. Occasionally, he’d ask Doyoung if he’d like to go out, to which Doyoung has always said yes. They’d end up in a quiet cafe tucked into a corner somewhere, and Taeyong wouldn’t even need to cover his face there. Nobody minded them, with Taeyong most likely working on something still while Doyoung read whatever novel he’d downloaded on his tablet. It was like that for so long, and he knew that it would be like that for the years to come in this cafe.

It’s nice though, having something like this so close to home. A little escape they can have from daily life, with the now-familiar coffee of Jaehyun’s brand. 

He acknowledges that it’s not New York anymore. It’s nothing like that. Here, it might as well even be a second home, as he expects it will be. Doyoung wouldn’t be dancing around Jaehyun anymore, not when he should already be adjusted to his presence in his life. It’s not just a place to get coffee at in a city they’re only visiting, it will become a familiar warmth that always welcomes them.

Once Doyoung rejoins them, Taeyong waves him over to a high-backed couch. Sliding in next to him, Doyoung sees that Jaehyun is showing some artistic renderings of the cafe. Based on them, there will be a section inside that will be a library of sorts, with beanbags and comfy armchairs, two whole walls covered in books. Jaehyun is talking about how he wants it to be a study space for students, who don’t need to buy a drink to use it. He’s telling Taeyong about the way that not everyone has a suitable place for study here, and how he wants to be able to help somehow. The music producer is listening intently, saying that it’s such a good idea, and that people should adopt that more often.

At some point, when Jaehyun leaves them momentarily to get some drinks for them, Taeyong sinks into his seat, a pleased sigh leaving him. A bit like a cat, Doyoung thinks, as he looks content and ever so slightly sleepy here. It’s not hard to imagine him stretched out on the plush carpeting they’re putting in the library space soon.

“Hey,” Doyoung says gently. “Already enjoying it here?”

Taeyong smiles, and his blinking is almost drowsy. “Yeah.”

They’re both watching Jaehyun move by the counter from their seats. “I think we won’t go to another cafe for a while,” Doyoung remarks.

It makes Taeyong huff out a laugh. “That’s… That’s likely.”

Doyoung nudges him with an elbow. “You’re already likely to have him prepare you coffee every morning back at home, and you’re still going to go here? I see that you’re, as they say, whipped.”

Taeyong snorts, a hand slapping Doyoung lightly on the arm. “Shut up. I won’t be here _all_ the time.”

“Yeah, because I don’t think they’ll allow you to sleep here. Oh wait, Jaehyun might allow you somehow.”

Pouting, Taeyong says, “I don’t like him _that_ much.”

Fixing him with a look, Doyoung pokes at Taeyong’s cheek. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Ah, Kim Doyoung, why do you know so much about me?” Taeyong asks, his voice dramatic and a sigh running through it.

Doyoung nudges him again, a bit harder to make him sway. “That’s literally my job, Yongie.”

The music producer huffs out a laugh again, shaking his head. His hands have come up to cup his chin, his elbows resting on the table. He sighs. “Then do you know that I’m scared?”

Biting his lip, Doyoung nods. Of course he does. This is as new territory for him as it is for Taeyong. It’s too fast and yet not quite fast enough at the same time. Things are changing, but not at a pace that either of them are used to.

He can only guess how much Taeyong has been thinking about this.

“I didn’t–I didn’t really sleep last night. I dunno. I think I felt like if I fell asleep and woke up, I would’ve just dreamed it all.” He fiddles with his fingers in his lap. “I don’t know how I would have reacted to that.”

Doyoung reaches over and squeezes his joined hands. “I get it.”

Taeyong takes in a deep breath. “It’s weird, you know? How I just have no idea what to do when it comes to him. Like, I know he’s just there, he’s already living with us for god’s sake. But I just… don’t know. I have no idea how I’m going to handle him being there.”

For a brief moment, his head is on Doyoung’s shoulder. Doyoung smiles softly. “I don’t know either.”

Looking at Jaehyun coming towards them with two cups on a tray, Doyoung thinks that they’re just going to have to figure it out.

**Jungwoo** **  
****4:45 pm, Neo Building, Cheongdam-dong**

Already on his third makeup remover wipe, Jungwoo tells Mark to close his eyes. He cleans off the shimmery eyeshadow they put on him for the first part of the Day-Before-Christmas program. There’s also tinsel in his hair that he can try to remove after he’s done wiping most of the makeup off. The rest of the day was supposed to be casual, with a simple dinner for the members and their managers at one of the meeting rooms of the company building. Mark’s hoodie is already slung over a chair, ready to be changed into once Jungwoo’s gotten his makeup off.

Tomorrow was going to be even busier, with the actual day-long Christmas program in full swing. Everyone was planning an early night in, even though Jungwoo knew that meant another movie marathon in the dorms, maybe even some early opening of gifts. He’d try to get some sleep into them somehow, but Jungwoo wasn’t sure how successful he’d be with that.

Once he’s done with the eyeshadow, Mark opens his eyes, hand reaching for his drink. Jungwoo hands it to him, getting another wipe from the pack.

“Mmm, who brought these?” Mark asks, pulling away to look at his cup of milk tea. He shakes it, listening to the ice cubes against the cup.

“Ten got them for all of you, said it’s part one of his gifts.” Jungwoo gently tilts Mark’s chin up, wiping away the tinted lip gloss. “You like it?”

The idol hums, still playing with the cup idly while he can’t really use his mouth. “Not the usual milk tea,” he says between wipes.

Jungwoo clicks his tongue. “Ten knows the best milk tea places here, trust me.” He finishes, which allows Mark to go back to sipping at his drink.

After a while, he stretches his arms over his head, face scrunching as he does. Jungwoo perches on a stool beside him, already holding Mark’s hoodie in his hands.

Running his fingers through his tinselled hair, Mark pouts. “Is it really Christmas eve?”

“Yes.” He gives over the hoodie, turning away to rummage in a bag for Mark’s baseball cap. “Almost the end of the year.”

In the makeup chair, Mark heaves out a deep sigh. “This year has been…”

“A lot?” Jungwoo offers.

Mark nods. “A lot,” he echoes.

Standing up, Jungwoo comes over to him, wanting to start on the tinsel so he can have something to do while everyone else is changing out of their outfits. At the very least, Mark doesn’t have too much of it in his hair, just subtly making it sparkle under the lights. The idol bows his head so Jungwoo can get to them easier.

“Next year will be a lot, too,” Jungwoo remarks, pulling out the first piece of tinsel carefully. “I can tell.”

Scoffing, Mark says, “I’m counting on it.”

After the next few pieces, Jungwoo asks the same question he asked Donghyuck. “Given the chance, if you were absolutely free to do anything, what would you do for Christmas? It’s tomorrow already.”

There isn’t an answer for a while, and he knows that Mark is mulling it over. In that time, he finishes his drink. “Don’t kill me for this,” he begins, fiddling with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

“I won’t,” Jungwoo reassures him.

In the mirror, Jungwoo sees him gnaw on his bottom lip. “I want to work on some new stuff.” He looks wary of saying it, like it’s forbidden. “I know it’s still...work, but I can’t get myself to stop.” Mark winces.

Stopping momentarily, Jungwoo puts his hands on Mark’s shoulders. “Hey, that’s okay. If you really want to do it, it’s fine.” He feels the idol relax a bit. “May I ask why you want to do that?”

Mark drums his fingers against his empty cup. “I know that the holidays are for relaxing, and making music, music just for the heck of it, is genuinely relaxing to me. Like I’m finally allowed to just do what I always liked doing, for myself. No pressure, no deadline. Just me.”

Jungwoo stops himself from enveloping Mark into a hug. The world knows the boy deserves all of the hugs.

“I don’t have time to do it tomorrow, though.” His smile is sad. “But that’s okay.”

Gently, Jungwoo rubs at his shoulders. “Maybe not tomorrow, but the 26th is a free day. I’ll make sure it will stay that way. You can do it then, if you’d like.”

Mark looks at him through the mirror, and Jungwoo swears his face lights up. “You’d do that?” At Jungwoo’s nod, he says a very soft, “Thank you.”

And it’s not much, but Jungwoo knows it can make a difference.

He asks one more thing as he works on the last remaining strands of tinsel. “Any other wishes for Christmas? I can be magic if I tried.”

This makes Mark laugh. After a bit, he becomes quiet again. “I kinda wanna spend it with my family too, if I could.”

Before Jungwoo can say anything, the idol continues. “It’s hard, because I’m not the only of us who’s busy. We did try to make time for family during Christmas, but it has never been easy.”

Carefully, Jungwoo asks, “When was the last time you spent Christmas with them?”

Mark takes a moment to think. “Maybe, right before I debuted? About 5 years ago now.”

“That’s a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” He purses his lips. “It has been a while. Don’t get me wrong though, I still really love Christmas. Christmas in Seoul is so beautiful and spending it here with everyone means a lot to me too. Just that…”

“You miss your family,” Jungwoo finishes for him. 

Mark nods. “It’s just different, you know? We were always busy but we tried. Christmas was one of the few times we could really come together.”

Jungwoo bites his tongue. “I understand.”

He doesn’t, not really. Being busy he got, but coming together with his family? That seems like a long-ago memory that he isn’t sure actually happened.

But he doesn’t say any of this. He finishes getting the tinsel out of Mark’s hair, giving him the cap to wear.

“Seulgi,” he says into the phone, quickly stepping out of the practice room where they’re setting up an informal banquet for Dream and their entire team. “Everything okay?”

“Yup,” she says brightly. “Pulling up in 20.”

Jungwoo has to bite back the wide grin on his face when he comes back to the practice room. He goes to work helping the aunties bringing in the food by carrying the bags for them and setting them down onto the long tables. Getting the food trays out, he carefully opens them so they can let out some of the steam. A huge variety of food was ordered, and there’s even more coming now.

Lucas is there, as well as the other boys he was with during the party. Some are carrying huge pillows and picnic blankets, some are hauling in the coolers with the drinks, and some are getting even more food into the place. There’s a smile on the model’s face when he passes by Jungwoo, holding what seems to be a huge pot of stew and rushing to bring it to the table. 

The indoor picnic area is being set up by the Dream members, with the blankets and mats laid out and mismatched pillows going everywhere. Jisung has plopped down on one of the mats, followed by Jaemin cuddling him to his chest. He’s further enveloped by Donghyuck, and from where Jungwoo is, he can hear Jisung struggling to get out. It makes Jungwoo laugh before he turns back to uncovering the food.

Soon, Lucas bumps shoulders with him, also helping him get all the food out. He works quietly, wordlessly asking where to keep the covers or throw away the torn foil. Jungwoo is grateful for the help, bumping against him playfully every now and then.

Jungwoo thinks of the presents still at the dorms, none of them opened. They all agreed to hold out until after the mandatory Christmas movie marathon later. He doesn’t have an idea what time that will end, but he already expects that he might have to let all of them go back to their caffeine consumption for tomorrow.

One of the presents is something he wasn’t even sure about, hidden in a drawer with the other gifts he had helped Donghyuck wrap. He’ll just have to take a gamble with that one.

After a bit, he pulls away momentarily to check for updates from Seulgi. Everything is pretty much ready, and they can start anytime now. He’s sure that everyone’s growing hungrier by the minute, with it having been quite a long day for many of them. 

Opening his phone, he sees that there’s a singular message from her.

 **[Seulgi]** **  
****be ready**

And he shouldn’t be tense, he really shouldn’t. This isn’t for him. 

But he is tense, and if it weren’t for his years getting himself to _not_ be tense in these exact situations, he’d probably be jumping around. Instead, he takes a deep breath, straightening his posture. It’ll be fine. He knows this. 

He steps out of the practice room, past all the other staff already here. Calmly, he paces by the door, keeping his eyes trained on the hallway.

Within minutes, he sees Seulgi’s head of newly-dyed mahogany hair. She’s walking with purpose, and rather quickly too, barely even needing to look at her phone as she types out messages. It doesn’t take long for her to spot Jungwoo, and she waves, still not making much of a sound other than footsteps. Everyone trailing behind her is mostly quiet as well, but Jungwoo can tell that they’re excited.

Once Seulgi and the group reach the door, she smiles up at him.

“I can’t believe you did this.” She sounds incredulous, but Jungwoo can hear that she’s pleased with it.

“Can’t believe I’m the first one to think of doing this,” he replies, fixing her with a look. She laughs softly.

“I don’t think this company has hired anyone like you,” Seulgi remarks, stepping in front of him to open the double doors. Jungwoo makes sure to stand beside her, phone out and ready to record.

The doors open, and they both step aside to make way for the group. Everyone inside is still chattering, but the sight of the manager makes them pause just for a second.

“Eomma?” comes Jeno’s surprised voice, the first one. He almost stumbles on the way, his feet getting a little tangled among the blankets.

He walks up to her, a little stunned. Everyone is slowly standing up from where they are, evident confusion on their face. They can hardly believe it.

When Jeno is right in front of his mom, Jungwoo can clearly see where he got the smile from. It’s like looking at an exact copy of his face, but just softer. At this point, Jeno’s not the only one that’s approached.

“Mom? Dad?” Mark asks in English, and his voice is wobbly. It’s the first time that Jungwoo has heard him speak like that. “How –”

Before he can say any more, he’s swept into a crushing embrace, all warm Christmas sweaters and tears. Jungwoo thinks he hears a squeal, but he isn’t sure who it’s from.

Within moments, everyone is embracing, standing in tight clusters or falling to the floor. Donghyuck has his youngest sister propped up on his hip, and she picks at his hair. Jaemin’s cheeks are being squeezed by who seems to be his grandmother. Chenle is trying to squirm away from the ladies kissing his face all over. Jisung is being held securely by a man who looks exactly like him, and he looks as content as a cat.

At some point, half of Mark’s face emerges from where he’s still being hugged like there’s no tomorrow, and Jungwoo knows the unmistakable smile in his glassy eyes.

Jungwoo doesn’t record anything.

The practice room is once again alive with chatter, this time even louder and filled with animated faces. Somehow, Seulgi herds everyone to start getting food so they can sit down and eat. There’s a lot of smiles everywhere, even those on the faces of Lucas’s friends. Jungwoo doesn’t know their names, but he feels the warmth from them as they reunite with their family.

It’s a sight that feels like it should be familiar. He’s been working as a PA for around 7 years now, and he’s seen so many reunions that were like this. It doesn’t matter what the occasion was, there was always something like this, even though some were a little stiffer. 

Coming home, that’s what it was. It wasn’t _home_ home, but it was close enough to it. 

It really should be familiar.

Without warning, Lucas hands him a full plate. The expression on his face is soft.

“You really are magic,” he says, sidling up next to him. He has a plate of his own, and he’s starting to eat the myriad of meats he’s picked out for himself. “Can we make wishes on you, now?”

Jungwoo lets a corner of his mouth tilt up. “Maybe.”

Lucas is looking straight ahead, at Mark whose grin is so wide that Jungwoo is afraid that it’ll hurt soon. “I didn’t think all of this would be possible.”

“I find ways,” Jungwoo murmurs. He finds Donghyuck, still holding onto his sister. He doesn’t know if it’s a trick of the light, or if he really sees his eyes shining with tears. “It was worth it.”

The model nudges him lightly. “I’ll have you know, they’re all probably in love with you now.” He gestures with his plastic fork.

It makes Jungwoo chuckle. “All of them?” he asks.

He doesn’t have to see it to know that Lucas is grinning. “All of us,” he corrects. “We’re all most likely in love with you now.”

Jungwoo allows the warmth spread across his chest. “Merry Christmas, Lucas.”

A bit early maybe, but neither seem to mind. Jungwoo thinks again of the gifts at the dorm.

“Merry Christmas, Jungwoo.” At this, Jungwoo faces him. The lights in the practice room are bright, but Lucas seems to shine brighter. He looks happier than Jungwoo has seen so far. If he squints, he can probably see the remnants of tears on his long lashes.

It’s still there, later, when they’re all drowsy from food and all the movies, cuddling into the blankets in the practice room. Jungwoo and Seulgi had gone to the dorms to get all the gifts, and Jungwoo just managed to grab the one he hid for a week just before they went out.

There’s wrapping paper everywhere, as well as rather sleepy exclamations at the presents that they unwrap. Jungwoo dutifully hands the neatly-wrapped gifts to the members, managers, and staff. Afterwards, he plops down on a floral mat, right next to Lucas, who seems surprised that he’s there. 

Reaching into his pocket, Jungwoo retrieves the small gift. He really isn’t sure about it, but it’s not like it could hurt. He holds it out for Lucas to take, the silver parcel dwarfed by his hand.

When he opens it, ever so carefully as if he’s afraid that it will break under his touch, Lucas makes a tiny sound that Jungwoo can’t quite identify. He holds the keychain up with a finger, bringing it up to his face to inspect.

It’s a little beagle, much like the one that Lucas has shown pictures to Jungwoo of. On the beagle’s blue collar is a tiny, golden L. 

Lucas seems to try to find words to say, and when he doesn’t, Jungwoo gently explains.

“Since you can’t get one yet,” he says. “Just so you have a puppy of your own, somehow.”

And Lucas laughs. Jungwoo has now learned that when he does, he hugs the person closest to him, and right now, that happens to be Jungwoo.

And this isn’t like any Christmas he’s had, but Jungwoo thinks it’s the best one so far.

**Doyoung** **  
****7:30 pm,** **Neo Building Rooftop, Cheongdam-dong**

Discreetly replacing Taeyong’s glass of wine with sparkling grape juice, Doyoung maintains the grin on his face. They’re conversing with another music producer that has worked with Taeyong before, a charming man who doesn’t look a day over 30. He’s thinking about working with Dream, the boygroup that Taeyong has also worked with this year. There’s a lot of potential in them, he says. They can easily sell well in the States, he remarks.

Doyoung is now at a party where he needs to potentially watch over two people. Taeyong invited Jaehyun to the talent showcase earlier, and they’re now ready to go to the company Christmas party. It was unavoidable that Taeyong would stop and chat for a bit, have some drinks first. Now, though, there’s the addition of introducing Jaehyun.

Undoubtedly, Jaehyun can hold his own in conversations. When people ask him what he does, he explains his businesses in a way that’s almost effortless, like this is what he’s trained to do his whole life. He doesn’t bore them with details, just hook them in enough to make them curious and possibly look up his brand later. It’s definitely an impressive show of how he can market without seeming like he was.

Right now, he’s at the hors d'oeuvre table, barely touching his tiny bites of food as he mingles with some idols and their managers. He’s a natural in settings like these, that Doyoung briefly wonders if he really meant that he hated parties and would rather stay at home.

Doyoung has three sets of business cards in his coat. Most people seem to want Jaehyun’s, so he slides them over to these people that seem utterly enamored by the CEO. He doesn’t need to stick by Jaehyun’s side as much as Taeyong’s, but it still feels like he is. He’s heard quite a lot of “oh wow, how _many_ branches do you have?” and “you should tour me around the LA ones!” by this time.

Also, the cardholder he has that’s reserved for cards given by whoever talks to Taeyong is filling up quicker than usual. The projects that the music producer has worked on this year were pretty big projects, and Taeyong was proud of all of them. Doyoung was proud of him too, how he was constantly improving and getting better projects that he was getting known for. It wouldn’t be long until he was going to be even more booked and busy, and that thought somehow excites and terrifies Doyoung at the same time.

“So, we’re going to discuss the concept of the next comeback pretty soon,” the other music producer says, mirth in his eyes. Doyoung mentally flips through the cards he has in the cardholder, and remembers that his name is Kyuhyun. “Your name came up so many times during the first few talks, so I’m sure they’ll get you for that album too.”

The lights are slightly dim here, but Doyoung still sees Taeyong pink under the compliment. “Oh? Thank you,” Taeyong says quietly, but the giggle in his voice is evident.

“Everyone’s excited of course.” Kyuhyun smiles. “It’s something that the group hasn’t attempted before, and can really make them big over there.”

Doyoung is about to start tuning out the rest of the conversation when someone taps him on the elbow. He whirls around to see a man dressed in a tan coat, bright auburn hair a contrast to the mostly dark tones of the place.

“Hi,” the man says, waving a bit. Doyoung isn’t sure who he is, but his features seem familiar.

“Hello,” he answers after a moment, his eyebrows raising in question.

“Oh, sorry.” The man shakes his head, most likely at himself. “I forgot. I don’t have the wig. Jungwoo.” He points to himself, waving again.

“Jungwoo.” Doyoung remembers. He’s the PA he met at the Halloween party. He steps a bit away from the music producers. “You’re here too.”

Jungwoo’s smile is like the first peeks of spring. “Yeah. The kids wanted to go to the showcase. They’re talking to some fellow idols right now.”

“Yeah, Taeyong is busy too.” He glances to his boss for a moment. “Events like this are really just for the talking.”

“Tell me about it,” Jungwoo says. His deft fingers pluck a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. “The kids don’t usually like talking, but with all these fellow idols? I think we’re gonna get to the Christmas party by 9 if we’re lucky. And that’s if I can drag them out.”

Doyoung nibbles on his canape. “Mmm. I don’t see us leaving anytime soon either.” Taeyong was most likely going to talk to at least 5 more people before they can even attempt to leave.

He now has time to really take in Jungwoo. The other PA is taller than he seemed at the other party, his long legs accentuated by his well-fitting dark pants. He’s young, but he carries himself better than some powerful middle-aged men Doyoung has known. His clothing is in muted colors, but his carefully styled auburn hair and his bright features make it look like he’s almost glowing. Jungwoo has an aura of being able to charm his way into anything, and Doyoung is sure that has proven useful.

Jungwoo has sidled up to a nearby high table, setting his glass down. Doyoung follows, glancing at both Taeyong and Jaehyun to note their places. The other PA follows his gaze, but doesn’t comment.

“You don’t like these,” Jungwoo remarks, and it’s not a question. He just knows, plain and simple.

Doyoung thinks he just might be the one who understands him the most in this entire building.

“Don’t think any of us actually like these,” he replies, shifting his weight to one leg so he can lean casually against the table. “We’re basically just more sociable bodyguards.”

It makes Jungwoo laugh, a sound that seems like it can fill a whole room. “That’s one way to describe it.”

While he finishes off his drink, Doyoung thinks of something to ask. “Your first Christmas showcase then. How was it?”

The other PA places his empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray and plucks another one from a different waiter. “I liked it.” He purses his lips. “Pretty sure I’ll get my ears talked off with all sorts of stories about the kids’ Christmas showcases later in the car.”

Chuckling, Doyoung says, “I’ve been to one of them myself. Your kids are pretty good.”

The smile that blooms across Jungwoo’s features is enough to warm an entire room. “They are.” There’s pride in the way he says it.

For a while, they stay in amicable silence. Jungwoo is messaging someone, thumbs practically flying over his keypad as he types. Doyoung accepts another few cards from Taeyong who’s just passing by before he’s whisked away into another conversation. He slots them into the cardholder along with the other ones.

Jaehyun has gone somewhere else, but still thankfully in sight. Some of the older executives are talking to him now, most probably marvelling at how successful he is at that age. He seems to be conversing comfortably with them, an already practiced skill. 

He notices Jungwoo looking at him too. Maybe Jaehyun just really has that magnetic aura about him, you’re just drawn to him. He’s charming, that’s a given. But he’s also intelligent to the point that it’s intriguing, Doyoung knows. Instead of asking about him, though, Jungwoo still chooses not to.

“What are the Christmas parties like?” the younger man asks, turning back to Doyoung. “I’m not sure what I should be prepared for.”

Doyoung hums, thinking back to the previous ones. “Not quite as wild as Halloween, but there are only two options for people like us: get drunk on the drinks our bosses shouldn’t have, or have to go back and forth to the car lugging gifts for them. I already have a reusable bag to put them in later.” He pats his coat.

“Like any other party then.” Jungwoo sighs in relief. “Mark said I’d crash right after it.”

That makes a corner of Doyoung’s mouth tilt up. “The drinks at the party are something else, is all I can say. That, and people are most likely going to feed you more than a human being should be able to handle. I advise you to keep away from both of those if the kids have a schedule tomorrow.”

“Noted,” Jungwoo says, finishing his second glass of champagne.

It’s not long after that Taeyong seems to have finally escaped being pulled into another discussion about his work and upcoming projects. Doyoung makes quick work of saying goodbye to Jungwoo, promising that he’ll try to meet him at the party. The younger PA grins at him, waving goodbye as he stays to wait for his own boss. 

The drive to the party venue is quiet on Doyoung’s part, but the two are making light conversation about the performances. Doyoung relishes his last few minutes of relative peace before arriving at the party. It was going to be the second of a string of parties for this week, and he’s not sure when he can have any quiet again for the rest of the week.

Once there, Doyoung almost loses Taeyong to a whole cluster of already-tipsy people. Some were executives, some were idols, some were idols-turned-executives. The music producer lets himself be pulled along to where Doyoung suspects is the bar. Taeyong barely has the time to give Doyoung an apologetic smile before he disappears in a flurry of fuzzy sweaters and sparkly dresses. That leaves Jaehyun with Doyoung, who smiles like he’s seen this sort of thing hundreds of times before. Doyoung supposes that he has.

A gentle hand settles at the small of Doyoung’s back, urging him wordlessly to go to the buffet table. Neither of them have really eaten anything other than the hors d'oeuvres at the showcase, which really isn’t a lot. Doyoung goes along, knowing it won’t be great to drink all of the cocktails handed over to Taeyong on an empty stomach.

They fill up a dessert plate with as much as it can hold, neither really remarking on how those are the only clean plates left. Jaehyun stuffs a bread roll into his mouth since he doesn’t have space left on his plate, and Doyoung giggles at the unexpected sight. Jung Jaehyun, CEO, dressed in a suit that would have most likely cost more than the car they used to get here, stuffing a whole bread roll into his mouth like it’s nothing. He’s really something else.

It’s not easy to find somewhere to sit, so they settle on the terrace, leaning against the sleek metal rails of the terrace. Some others do the same, holding plates of meat and bread, chatting with friends and readily accepting glasses of whatever alcohol is offered to them. Doyoung already dreads whatever concoction of the year he’s going to experience tonight.

To his surprise (and slight relief), nobody approaches Jaehyun while they’re eating. It seems like everyone has their own little world, catching up with familiar faces and mingling with everybody else. It’s nice, to have that break from being polite and pretending to listen to whatever conversation he will be inevitably roped into here.

In his years of being Taeyong’s PA, he’s become pretty known in and out of the company. He’s always thought himself more of a quiet, observant presence, just polite enough to engage in the topics that they bring up. Over time, though, they’ve become used to him, casually talking to him in the way that friends would. He knows not to assume that they’re friends, but he makes sure to talk to them like they are. Having connections helps, of course.

Some of them do become his actual friends, though. Like the kind baker who is always ready to whip up a cake in Taeyong’s favorite flavor. Or the staff at the salon that they frequent, who share their stories of wild hairstyles requested by all sorts of people (not just idols). Or Joy, Ruby’s favorite dogsitter-slash-walker, who stays for a snack when she drops off the dog and shows both Doyoung and Taeyong photos of the dogs she’s watched over or walked or even own.

But it’s at parties like these that Doyoung knows he has to pretend to be friends, because it just might be the wisest thing for him to do.

“I thought you hate parties,” Jaehyun says, leaning forward a bit to look at him. Doyoung looks back at his wide brown eyes.

“I thought _you_ hate parties,” he replies, popping a grape into his mouth and letting it burst.

Jaehyun’s signature smile is back. “Why are we here then?”

“Well,” Doyoung begins, chewing on the fruit. “I can arrange to get you home, if you want. You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to be.”

Humming, Jaehyun puts his empty plate on the tray of a waiter who’s collecting them. He seems to consider Doyoung’s words. “Isn’t it better to have someone to hate on something together?” He’s not smirking, but Doyoung feels like he would.

The PA deposits his empty plate as well. “If you’re not leaving, then you might as well help me tonight.”

At this, Jaehyun straightens, giving his attention to Doyoung. “Ah, a gentleman in distress. A favorite of mine. How may I help thee, sir?”

He makes a sweeping gesture, bowing slightly, and Doyoung can barely hold back from rolling his eyes. Not for the first time, he’s grateful that most of the people here are already tipsy or more. “You’re so dramatic. I just need you to help me make sure Taeyong doesn’t get absolutely smashed tonight. And maybe haul back some gifts.”

Jaehyun has his eyes behind his back, and he bows with his head. “Of course, sir. It will be my pleasure.”

Doyoung debates if it would be worth the possible headline in the morning to slap him on the arm. He ultimately decides not to go through with it. 

“What do I do?” the CEO asks, amused expression on his face making him look like just the type of guy that Doyoung avoided in college. 

For a moment, a pang of guilt settles deep in Doyoung’s stomach. He really shouldn’t be asking someone else to do his job, much less the owner and CEO of a multi-billion won company. Has he no shame? “Are you sure?” he asks cautiously.

When Jaehyun nods, it’s like watching an eager puppy. “Might as well have something to do on this clearly dull party,” he says, voice quiet enough so that barely anybody else can hear but the two of them.

Doyoung bites the inside of his cheek. It wouldn’t be so bad. Taeyong would delight in having him there, and maybe Jaehyun can distract them enough to make sure they don’t get more glasses over to Taeyong. Jaehyun might even find some entertainment in there. It’d be a win for everyone involved.

“Alright.” Doyoung tries to pretend that he doesn’t take in a deep breath. “Find Taeyong. Make sure he steers clear of the whatever’s in the punch bowl or what they give to him. Okay?” He nods, his instructions gentle but clear. 

Jaehyun smiles, the one that Doyoung now knows means he’s ready for the challenge. “Will do.” He makes a gesture very much like a salute, then expertly weaving his way through the growing crowd here before disappearing into the rest of the party.

Not even five whole minutes after he watches Jaehyun leave, a familiar form in a tan coat joins him by the railing. It echoes their first meeting, Doyoung thinks, with them looking out into the Seoul night, and Jungwoo will most likely know something about him without even asking him a single thing.

The first thing Jungwoo says is, “Jung Jaehyun, huh?”

There it is.

“How–”

“He’s been the talk of the entire party.” Jungwoo says it plainly, like he’s just talking about how the next day is a Saturday. “Hard to miss him too, when he’s like _that_.”

“Like what?” Doyoung is genuinely curious.

“Like this is his party, his… world.” Jungwoo has a tiny shot glass of what looks like panna cotta, and he’s eating it with an equally tiny spoon. “I guess it is, if he wanted it to be. Everyone would hand it over, I’m sure.”

Now that, Doyoung knows. He’s known since the first time they met. Jung Jaehyun could have the world and anything in it if he asked.

“I don’t know if he quite wants the world,” Doyoung says quietly, suppressing a sigh. He may not have known Jaehyun for long, but he at least knows that Jaehyun doesn’t want the world, he never did.

Jungwoo’s perfect eyebrows shoot up. “Really?” He’s quiet as he finishes his dessert. “Well, the world isn’t everything, after all.”

Doyoung doesn’t have anything to say to that. He just watches as the people around them get progressively more smashed, either lying down on the festive throw pillows or finding some Christmas song to sing and roping in all their friends to sing with them. Briefly, he wonders how the two are doing.

“It’s good that he has you, though,” Jungwoo remarks, nodding a little solemnly. The twinkling Christmas lights make him look a bit like an angel. 

“What do you mean?” Doyoung manages to get a brightly-colored drink, sipping at it tentatively. It doesn’t feel particularly strong, but that’s what’s dangerous about it.

“You know.” The younger PA waves his hand. “He doesn’t need the world anymore, he has someone like you.”

Doyoung almost chokes on his deceptively fruity drink. “What? Wait did you think–”

Jungwoo widens his eyes at him innocently for just a moment, then narrows them. “Oh.”

Suddenly, Doyoung can feel the burn of the alcohol spreading through his skin. “Oh?”

The younger PA just shakes his head, barely holding in a sigh. “Forget I said anything.”

Doyoung isn’t sure he could, but before he can reply, Jungwoo is switching the topic. “I heard that they were thinking of getting Taeyong again for the next comeback? That’s exciting!”

And because Doyoung has done this countless times before, (and he’s 100% sure Jungwoo has, too), it doesn’t take long for him to ease into the conversation. Still, he turns over Jungwoo’s words in his head, not quite sure what he meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! this chapter is really me projecting my mixed feelings about the holiday (i know it's half a year away and i really shouldn't be thinking about it but). i hope you enjoyed!
> 
> i super appreciate the comments from past chapters, i always reread them when i feel too much like shit to write. so really, thank you, for all your kind words ♡


	8. the new year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know this took forever hhhhh
> 
> i hope you enjoy this one! it's one of my favorite chapters to write so far ;; also omygod i hit 65k words with this, i never thought i'd get to that with anything i've written????
> 
> (edited/added some tags as well!)

**Doyoung** **  
** **8:30 pm, J &J Cafe Seoul**

For a late December day, it’s relatively warm. Doyoung cuts into his cinnamon doughnut, putting a bite of the fluffy sweetness into his mouth and letting it melt. The warm cup of milk laced with vanilla he’s been given suits it perfectly, and he sighs to himself as the warmth spreads across him.

Across from him, Taeyong has his sketchbook and pens out, biting his lip as he colors in his second drawing of the afternoon. The chocolate tart on his plate has been steadily diminishing, and Doyoung might need to order him another pastry soon.

As expected, they have become very cozy in the J&J cafe. There’s already a corner that’s occupied by them on most days, and mostly reserved still on the days they’re not there. It’s tucked into a space by the window, with a plush peach-colored chair for Taeyong and a tufted sofa which only Doyoung occupies usually. There’s a shelf of books and other trinkets near this corner, and even some extra pillows that they can get any time. If there were blankets (and he’s sure that will happen sometime soon), they may never leave this place.

Which Jaehyun will be pleased with, of course. They’ve seen him a total of two times since the cafe officially opened, his constant flights to attend meetings and check in on his branches keeping him mostly out of the country. Not that that’s stopped him from videocalling them, his face lighting up as he sees the interior of his cafe in the background.

Well, it  _ is _ a nice place to stay in. Doyoung does much prefer his own room plus the sofa at Taeyong’s house, but this was pretty good too. Even though it was in an upscale part of town, it was homey, and had the air of casualness that made people feel like it was okay to sit back, sink into the pillows, tuck your feet under you. Not many places here had that feeling.

Also, Doyoung will admit that he’ll keep coming back for the pastries. The drinks he can get most anywhere, but the pastries? God, it feels like he’s developing a sweet tooth too. He wonders if he can become friends with their pastry chefs. Well, he’s going to try, definitely.

Taeyong  _ adores _ this place. He’s even more of a homebody than Doyoung, but being here doesn’t even feel foreign anymore. It’s easy to fold himself into his usual chair, take out his sketchbook or that notebook he uses to write songs, or any of his multitude of gadgets, and do his own thing. Doyoung notices how his shoulders aren’t tense here, like just being in this place that constantly smells of coffee and sugar and clean cotton is enough to drain away all of the stress.

That’s a good thing. He’s yet to be sure, but Taeyong seems to be sleeping better, which is always, always a good sign. Doyoung thinks it’s not just all the calming oils and the better pillows; it’s genuinely how relaxed he’s becoming these days.

And that’s saying a lot. It was almost the end of the year, which almost always meant that things were just going to be busier. Already, Taeyong has been contacted to work with several artists at the start of the year, and with multiple songs each at that. Undoubtedly, after this somewhat-mini-break, it’s just back to how it usually is, with long hours of no rest and going from meeting to meeting.

Yet, Taeyong doesn’t look like he’s under stress at all. Doyoung has long known that it can be hard to tell with him sometimes, with how well he presents himself to seem like he’s 100% alive and kicking. Not a lot of people see the way that his face shifts just in the slightest, and his bright smile doesn’t quite feel like that anymore. Barely anyone sees the way his eyes turn just slightly less happy, and his shoulders sagging just a fraction. Doyoung sees.

Doyoung sees that now, here, it’s not like that at all. He doesn’t stare out the window for long periods of time, his sketches laying untouched, like he does when he’s too tired to even let himself create something for himself for once. Taeyong is content now in working on this new piece, humming a song to himself. It’s good. Doyoung wishes he could see it more.

On his laptop, Doyoung types out his response to an email from the caterer. They will be doing an at-home tasting session for the New Year’s party in two days. He double checks that he’s input the additional instructions and some of the add-ons that Taeyong requested, and presses send. 

At the corner of his screen, a notification pops up. It’s a message from his brother.

**[hyung]** **  
** **Is it fine that I drop by on New Year’s eve?** **  
** **Just want to give Taeyong some wine, and I’ll be on my way, promise**

He sighs. His brother had always wanted to check up on him, make sure he and Taeyong are both doing okay, even when both the house and the studio were well out of his way. That’s just how Gongmyung cares. He knows that Doyoung doesn’t want him to see too much, and he respects that, but he still at least needs to know that everything’s fine.

Typing a simple reply, Doyoung agrees to it. Gongmyung will be there for a few minutes at most just to drop off the wine and greet Taeyong, and he’ll leave. He won’t linger, Doyoung knows.

For a moment, he wonders how his family spent their Christmas. He had sent over gifts, and Gongmyung gave him a nice set of custom cufflinks. Doyoung had even called to greet them on the day, but he never really got what they were going to do that day. 

The next email he opens is an invite to collaborate with another artist. Quickly, Doyoung pulls up his browser to look for the artist and what he’s done. It’s likely that Taeyong has heard of them, but it won’t hurt to do a little more searching.

Doyoung pushes the memories of past holidays to the back of his mind. They were pleasant, surely, but they seem so far away now. 

Still, he opens a tab to look for where he can order some last-minute sweets to send over to his family for the New Year. He remembers that his father likes the sticky buns he had brought home one of those random visits so long ago.

He gets another notification pop-up at the bottom of his screen. This time, it’s from Jaehyun.

**[JUNG JAEHYUN]** **  
** **Hey** **  
** **Can you facetime?**

**[DOYOUNG]** **  
** **Sure.**

“Yongie,” he calls out softly. The music producer looks up from his sketchbook, eyes all wide. “Come here. Jaehyun is going to call.”

Taeyong nearly bounds up from his chair, then folding himself next to Doyoung. A hand wanders into Doyoung’s, like it always does when he’s a bit nervous, and his gaze is on the screen. The popup opens, and they watch as the call goes through.

When it does, they’re both greeted by a very bundled up Jaehyun, smile still evident even with the scarf nearly covering half his face. He’s in Chicago right now, and all they can see behind him is a flurry of gray.

“Hi,” comes his voice, crackling just a bit.

“Hello,” Taeyong answers. He’s perked up at the sight of Jaehyun. “Where are you?”

The CEO seems to be walking, his gaze flickering around. “Just coming in to our Chicago headquarters.” There’s some shuffling, and warmer light washes across his features. He tugs off the scarf in one motion. “I have some stuff to settle here before coming back there for New Year’s.”

Doyoung furrows his brows. “Isn’t it early over there?” He does some quick math in his head, and it’s barely 7 in the morning in Chicago.

Jaehyun waves it off. “Almost 7! I could come here any time anyways.”

Beside Doyoung, Taeyong pulls his legs up, sitting cross-legged on the sofa. “You should be getting more sleep, you know.”

Chuckling, Jaehyun pauses to shake the snow out his hair. “Could say the same for you.”

“I’ve been getting sleep!” Taeyong retorts. A hand comes to wrap around Doyoung’s arm, tugging him closer. “You can even ask Doyoung.”

The only answer to that is a dimpled smile. Jaehyun seems to be stepping into an elevator, its warm gold interiors such a difference from the gray outside and the gray walls inside. “Good to know.”

They wait for Jaehyun to settle in and press the button to his floor. Doyoung uses that moment to take him in, this Jaehyun all those miles away. He doesn’t look any different, just his cheeks red from the biting cold. He’s polished yet laid-back at the same time, carrying anything and everything with an ease to him. Even with terrible signal because of the snow and the distance, he’s such a distinct, memorable presence. It’s easy to see why he would catch everyone’s attention.

“How is it over there?” There’s soft elevator music coming through the call. “Hopefully less of a brutal winter.”

Taeyong pulls the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. “The usual Seoul winter, I’d say. But it’s nice and warm in your cafe anyways, so it’s fine.”

The smile on Jaehyon’s face grows wider. “Thank you for coming back again and again.”

“Oh, I don’t think we ever leave,” Doyoung interjects. “Put a bed in here somewhere and we might even sleep here.”

His laugh crackles. “We can arrange that.”

There’s a faint  _ ding _ , and the sound of elevator doors opening. Jaehyun gets out, his steps echoing in the hallway.

“How’s the planning for the party?” He knows of the party of course, and he’ll be back in time. That was a promise he made. 

“Oh, Doyoung is the best at planning!” Taeyong rambles, leaning forward to widen his eyes at Jaehyun. “He can plan  _ anything _ within a day. I’m not worried at all.”

An eyebrow raises. “Is that so?” Jaehyun seems to be pushing open a door, his eyes not even trained to his phone. “Doyoung’s a fairy godmother at this point.”

Giggling, Taeyong answers, “He is. He has been for 5 years for me.” His voice grows a tinge fonder. “There’s no one like him.”

Jaehyun hums, finally looking at the camera. His eyes almost twinkle, but Doyoung can’t be sure. “I agree. He’s extraordinary.”

Doyoung subtly slinks away at that. There’s warmth rising on his cheeks, and he’s not sure how much Jaehyun can see. If he even sees it. He wishes that the signal is bad enough that Jaehyun doesn’t.

The words...He doesn’t know how to feel about them. Especially not coming straight from this all-too-perfect vision of a man, with his designer suits and his artfully tousled hair. 

And, truth be told, he’s gotten comments like that before. Sleazy old men at the high-end lounges, or men with power that think they can smirk their way into anything or even that random 20-something-year-old that’s had enough shots to start grinding on people randomly in the hopes they can take someone home. It’s sad that he’s used to it, that it even happens at such a regular rate that he’s barely fazed by it anymore. It makes his stomach twist when he knows how much worse it is for Taeyong.

He’s gotten something similar from decent men too, but it just doesn’t quite feel right. Doyoung only smiles at them, that smile he’s perfected over years, says his thanks, and doesn’t let it go further. It’s unfair to lead them on after all, because even if they were nice, there really isn’t a point if he’s just not into them.

But the way Jaehyun says it, soft and genuine and punctuated by his dimpled smile, it just feels different. It settles at the pit of his stomach, and he fights down the warmth spreading across his skin. Like something that’s threatening to eat him, bit by bit.

Why would Jaehyun saying it makes him want to curl up on the sofa in the cafe and fold into himself? He can’t quite comprehend it, whatever this is, and he’s not sure he wants to. 

Because being called extraordinary suddenly feels very new, like he’s just heard that word now in all his years of life. Because he’s been that figure in the corner that gave out business cards and wrote in his organizer and made calls and made absolute sure that nothing would go wrong. Because he’s Kim Doyoung, personal assistant to who might be the most dazzling person on earth, and he is, in so many different ways, just ordinary.

He doesn’t know how to feel about the words, especially when they’re from the very man his boss is into.

“I know.” Taeyong looks over momentarily at Doyoung, grinning. He squeezes Doyoung’s hand, and it’s easy to recognize the emotion in his eyes. Pride. “Lucky to have him.”

Before Doyoung can say anything, Taeyong turns back to Jaehyun, talking animatedly about one of the celebrities he met at the  _ Gala delle Notti Eterne _ that’s going to come to the New Year’s party. Jaehyun informs him that he’ll bring his co-founder and best friend Johnny along as well, so they could finally meet.

Doyoung inches away just a bit more. He lets Taeyong hold his hand still, but he uses the other to open his notes up on his tablet. If there’s anything that can bring relative peace to him, it’s the lull of work.

He knows he needs the peace now.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **3:15 pm, Neo Building,** **Cheongdam-dong**

Seulgi smiles at everyone in the room, her usual kind smile. It’s the smile she has when she has good news.

“We’re approved to have a tour starting in early March.” She starts to hand out the briefs for it, all neatly stapled and smelling of fresh printer ink. “This time, we can go on a fuller tour in the States and in Europe, plus more Asian countries.”

In the brief, Jungwoo sees the tour locations. He counts them. Forty-two, including the ones in the US. Quite a lot, given the timeframe. Jungwoo has many questions about the feasibility of all this, but he holds his tongue for now.

“The Asian leg will be where we begin, as usual,” Selgui continues, flipping over the page even though she’s not exactly looking at it. Everyone in the room flips to the next one as well. “And we will end in Seoul. Standard, of course.”

From across the table, Jungwoo can see Mark chew on his lips. He has to remind him not to peel off the skin of his lips again. Looking down at the page, Jungwoo reads the more detailed schedule for the tour. It seems that they’ll be staying in each country or state an average of 2.5 days, 3 if possible, before going to the next. Humming to himself, he mentally notes that he’s going to have to write out a better version of this schedule for Mark and possibly the rest of Dream.

“Set lists will be finalized first week of January, and we will start practice right away.” Someone beside Seulgi is taking notes on their iPad for her. “There’s also a planned first quarter of the year comeback, and the music video and album will be released just as we start the USA leg of the tour, just in time for the shows you’re going to be on. So, to repeat, we’re going to have concert practice and comeback prep pretty much the whole of January and February.”

No one says a word across the table, just peers at the papers. Jungwoo notices that Donghyuck has started bouncing his leg up and down, a bit of a nervous tic.

It’s definitely a lot to handle. Their previous comeback had been rushed according to their usual standards, but this one was going to be gruelling on everyone. Learning choreo for the concert, along with positioning and in general, performance while also preparing for a whole comeback which they will have to record, learn choreo, and film for, well. That surely didn’t seem like something a sane person would do.

But entertainment companies aren’t exactly the picture of sanity, Jungwoo has learned. It seemed like as long as their idols didn’t drop dead, that was good enough for them.

“The tour will showcase Dream’s many different sides,” Minseok pipes up, also smiling too brilliantly at them. “You can be fun and lively, you can be a little darker and mature, you can be rebellious and free-spirited, you can be sentimental and uplifting. We would like to showcase all of that.”

Beside Jungwoo, Renjun is tracing over the table of schedules, his eyebrows furrowing. Jungwoo knows he thinks this isn’t the best of ideas ever, but he keeps quiet. Like everyone usually does.

“You’re going to be working with some of the best choreographers and stage directors. Our general theme this tour will be ‘stronger’.” Minseok says it with a flourish, trying to sell this idea. “Dream has come very far, and despite everything the year has thrown at you, you come out of it even better than before. Rise from the ashes, and continue blazing.”

Jungwoo wonders what quotes page he got that from.

“That will also be a theme for the next comeback. Dream is steadily gaining traction, and with that, Dream is also growing out of that phase when they were regarded as a ‘baby group’. You are all your own persons, so much stronger than before, and people shouldn’t doubt you anymore.  _ You _ are a force to be reckoned with,” Seulgi tells them, her voice the exact tone of inspirational used in life seminars that Jungwoo knows she’s had to practice for quite a bit.

He sees Jisung flinch a little, probably inwardly cringing at the words. Jungwoo understands.

The smile on Minseok’s face only grows. “It’s exciting to have even more concerts in the states. The company of course wants to expand our horizons, make Dream a truly global group. This is the beginning of something that can potentially become the blueprint for future generations of Kpop. Dream is going to get to that international market, and they’ll secure a place there and in the hearts of many.”

Seulgi motions to all of them with a perfectly manicured hand. “Dream will be on stages some haven’t even ventured near before. This is  _ the _ opportunity of a lifetime.”

Sitting down, Seulgi taps her papers on the table, as if they aren’t already perfectly aligned. “Now, let’s just get through the talk about the boring stuff, yeah?”

Everyone settles in their seats a little more, flipping to the next page. There’s kind of a collective sigh amongst everyone, even both the managers. A lot needed to be discussed, especially with everything that was going to happen.

Jungwoo does his best to listen to every word.

“How do you feel about it?”

Mark is sitting cross-legged on the sofa, fingers idly strumming the strings of his guitar. His glasses and oversized hoodie is making him look even younger than he is. In another life, college student Mark may have looked like this.

He doesn’t answer for a bit, just staring straight ahead at the black screen of their TV. His facial expression doesn’t change either, and there’s only his deep, almost sigh-like breaths.

“I dunno,” comes the honest answer. He curls a corner of his lips up. “I’m happy to be able to meet the fans again, of course.”

Jungwoo picks at his bowl of instant cheese yopokki. That sort of wording is something he’s heard before.

“But?”

“But.” Mark nods, mostly to himself. Like he’s coming to terms with what he’s about to say. “It’s a lot. I don’t know how we can handle it, or if we even can.”

Out of instinct, Jungwoo reaches out to rub soothingly at his back. “I don’t know as much about how this whole thing works, but I know it’s a lot too.”

Nodding again, Mark offers up a weak smile. “I think Dr. Moon will be pissed at how much rest I won’t be getting.”

It gets the smallest of chuckles out of Jungwoo. “Yeah, he will be.”

Mark was already doing pretty well. His sleeping patterns were mostly evened out now, and he rarely had those nights where he just couldn’t get himself to sleep. It’s gotten rid of how he would alternate between jittery or overtired each day, and he’s at least decreased his caffeine intake. The sleep had been doing him good.

Undoubtedly, with how things were going to be in the next few months, he might revert to how it was before, and no one really wants that. Least of all Mark, who was physically and mentally fighting himself for not being in his best condition for his group. He constantly blamed himself, and that only pushed him to work himself to the bone, which didn’t do good at all.

Being the leader is hard, Jungwoo can at least see. There’s still a lot he would have to learn about everything, from the system ingrained in the industry to just how this company works to each one of the members and what they have to bear day by day. Jungwoo has always prided in the fact that he could absorb and process information rather quickly, but all of this would still take time. Which is why, admittedly, he still doesn’t quite understand everything about Mark. A whole masterfile of Mark wouldn’t be enough to fully grasp who he is.

Mark has lived in 4 cities in his lifetime, 3 of which are abroad. He lived primarily in English-speaking countries with his parents and his older brother, and none of his family are here now in Seoul. He had stopped his schooling nearly at the start of his high school life, coming to train at the company at such an early age. He debuted at age 17, after around 4 years of training. He’s written a good majority of their songs, he composes, he tries all sorts of instruments, he comes up with choreography. He’s the oldest in their group, and their leader.

Mark is the leader. And he cares for his members, looks after them even from the side. He listens to them, makes an effort to know all their concerns and how they feel about things, and he tries his best to be comforting. He always tries his best, because even if the responsibility was thrust into his hands at such a young age, he never backed down from it. Mark knew how important it was that he led them, while still being as close to something like family. 

They were kids, some in a country they’re not used to, all of them suddenly in a spotlight that they were not quite familiar with yet. Even though they wouldn’t flat-out admit it when staying a strong presence was so important in their careers, it mattered a lot to have a hyung figure, someone to guide them and hold their hands when needed. Mark became that for them, and he still is, no matter how much they’ve grown up in the past years.

But the thing with taking care of people is that it’s all too easy to forget how to take care of oneself. He’s been through grueling practices since he was around 13, he’s resisted rest until he got everything perfect, he has stood in the front of the line for so long. Jungwoo knows that he wants to be strong for them, be that hyung for them, but there’s only so much the human body and mind can take. And, frankly, it’s not supposed to be subjected to what Mark has been subjected to.

It’s definitely not just the physical exhaustion. To be 13 and get the harsh training under the company, to be 14 and introduced to the world, to be 17 and perform in front of a crowd, to be 18 and have a fanbase that chanted their names, to be 19 and have cameras shoved in his face while he tried to shield the others, to be 20 and be aware of all the nasty comments and death threats, to be 21 and burned out to the bone. How much would that have affected him, mentally, emotionally? Would he ever be the same bright and smiling kid that was excited on his first day in the company? Would he even be able to recognize the person that he used to be, the one before the image that he was given? How long did it take for him to get used to it, the pain, the underlying cautiousness, the throbbing in his head that made him believe he wasn’t doing enough, how long did it take before he could push it all back to appear like the idol he was molded to be?

How long, until he had to harden himself so that the world couldn’t hurt him anymore, and they’d only see that smile he’s so known for? How long since he last actually checked if he was really, truly okay?. 

There are many things that Jungwoo doesn’t quite understand yet, and he knows that he’ll either learn them along the way or he’ll have to ask. After all, the better he knew them, the easier he could do his job.

This isn’t just a job, though, he’s aware. It was one thing to file someone’s taxes for him and get their clothes to the dry cleaners. Here, he needs to make sure Mark is truly well, and  _ living _ , instead of just getting by day after day. 

Like most days now, Jungwoo bites back all the remarks he has about idol treatment, not just in Mark’s case, but for every idol out there. He can’t quite say that any single one of them have been treated the way that they are supposed to be. From what he’s found out during his several research sessions late at night, there would always be at least one form of mistreatment towards the idol that the public knew about, what more about the ones that weren’t released?

He’s seen the members shrug it off. They say that it’s how it’s always been, and they shouldn’t complain when they’ve been given so much already. Which, really, Jungwoo wants to reply to with a, “A dorm and a career isn’t so much when they barely do anything to protect you from everything else.” Just because it’s how it’s always been doesn’t mean it should never change.

But what can he do? He may be known to nearly everyone that works closely with Dream, but what is he to them really? That guy who does Mark’s schedules and picks up the group and gets them their drinks. He’s someone they can easily blur out. What would his voice even be to people who only smile at him because that’s what they’ve been trained to do? What would his voice be against the people that run this whole thing and profit off the group’s hard work while barely giving them enough?

“The US tour,” Mark begins, softly. He turns to face Jungwoo, face open and hopeful. “We’ve performed once there so far. This time, we’re going to so many places.”

“Are you scared?” Jungwoo asks him. For a long moment, he studies his face. Maybe it’s the training, maybe Mark is so used to keeping it neutral that he barely shows it anymore, but he doesn’t seem the least bit scared.

“A little,” he breathes out. His fingers curl against the strings. “We’ve just had our first full-on tour last year. It wasn’t even on the scale of this one, so a lot of this is going to be new territory for all of us.”

“I get that.” He puts a bite of the rice cake into his mouth. “Excited, then?”

Hands gesturing, Mark says, “You know that feeling when your stomach twists and your heartbeat quickens a bit at the thought, and you feel kinda restless? And then when you think about it more you get hit with the realization that ‘oh shit, this is happening’ and you’re not super scared but it feels like that somehow? I guess that’s excitement, yeah, but it’s not an entirely nice feeling.”

Jungwoo squeezes his knee affectionately. “You’re going to be doing so much and travelling to all these places in the span of a few months. I think it’s valid to feel absolutely everything all at once.”

Mark hums, playing a tune on his guitar. “How about you? How do you feel about the first tour you’ll experience with us?”

Smiling, Jungwoo pats the knee under his hand. He hopes that it looks reassuring, happy enough to be an answer.

In truth, Jungwoo is terrified.

**Doyoung** **  
** **2:12 pm, Lee Residence, UN Village**

“Ice sculptures are still a thing?” Yeri asks, popping a chocolate truffle into her mouth.

“Apparently,” Doyoung says, running through his checklist again. That one was going to arrive in a few hours. 

“Aren’t those foods-as-other-things more ‘in’ now?”

Doyoung looks at his list. “Oh, we have that later too. Fruit  _ and _ cake as other things.”

It’s December 31st, and they’re going to have the party of the year, like they do every year. The Lee residence was going to be full of celebrities, artists, and important people in about 5 hours and 48 minutes. A lot of work still had to be done, but Doyoung is in his element.

The gazebo outside is currently being decorated by the top events designing team in Seoul (Doyoung’s friends with them, they’ve been working together since Taeyong’s 25th birthday party), filling the space with all manner of pretty, shimmery things. One of two photobooths had already come in and started to set up, and Doyoung and Yeri were to be the first test shots in about 10 minutes. The mobile bar he got is also getting ready, and he eyes the multicolored liquid being poured into the shot glasses. It was likely that anyone would pass out after a few rounds of that, so Doyoung makes a quick text to the nearby grocery store to prepare a box of trash bags and cleaning supplies that will be delivered to the house.

Everything’s going well. He’s already stolen a few desserts from the dessert table that’s been meticulously styled, and the food for dinner was going to arrive very soon. All of it is perfectly on schedule, as expected.

Well, Jaehyun’s arrival was on schedule too. He had landed in Korea just before lunch, and he’s crashed into a bed somewhere in the house. Doyoung has made sure that he’s not in Doyoung or Taeyong’s bed, though, but he might have to look through the rooms later.

Currently, Taeyong is at the cafe with Wendy, Yeri’s boss. Taeyong had offered to take her to their new favorite coffee place, and Wendy wasn’t going to say no to that. Based on the most recent photo that Taeyong has sent, they’re currently in that library-slash-lounge area tucked in a nook on the second level, playing what looks like Cluedo. They’ll be back soon too, since both have to get ready for the party later.

Even when he’s done this time and time again, he’s still a bit nervous. Of course, he’s aware that something could go wrong. Like somebody breaking something undoubtedly expensive. Or they run out of table napkins. Or the fireworks show he’d arranged being late. Any number of things really.

Doyoung takes a deep breath, pressing his fingers to his list. He’s done enough, he assures himself. He’s done more than enough, and that will assure that the night will go mostly without mishap. It’s important that he trusts himself.

“What time are the stylists coming?” he asks Yeri, who’s typing on her phone without even looking at the screen.

“Four o’clock.” She doesn’t stop typing, smiling up at him. “They’ll be ready just in time, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying.” A lie.

The other PA snorts at this. “You always do. That’s why you’re good at this. You worry.”

And she’s right. If he doesn’t worry, doesn’t care, he’d probably not get as much done. People have always marvelled at how calmly he handled everything, but Yeri knows him better than that.

That was a part of the job that not everyone talked about. There was always an element of care in it, no matter how much it was originally promised to remain in professional boundaries. A job like this got personal one way or another, and a lot of times, one can learn to care for their boss. Lines got blurry when you got this close.

He understands that it’s not true in every single case. Some bosses were assholes, so it’s really just a matter of doing one’s job. Still, there were others out there that just needed help getting their busy lives together, and were generally kinder and more forgiving. 

Caring is not the easiest thing, he’s learned. Some people refuse it, thinking that they’re being coddled. Some people aren’t aware that they deserve it. Some make it increasingly difficult to do it. 

But he’s learned that as with many things in life, he has to keep trying. He can’t just give up on it, especially not when the person deserves the care. It may be hard to get that through to them, but he will keep trying.

In his years with Taeyong, he knows that the music producer doesn’t just let people care for him. He’s used to being the one to do that to others, and expecting nothing in return. The world wasn’t kind, but Taeyong always tried to be. But he was rarely like that to himself.

So gently easing him into routines that made sure he got enough sleep and the right food and that he got up and out of his room every now and then was the way to go. Doyoung didn’t want to fight with him, but sometimes it came to that. If it meant that he got to make sure that Taeyong was slowly getting into things that will ultimately benefit him and make him healthier, he didn’t want to back down.

The effects came much later, but Doyoung is a patient man. He got the music producer into something steady and simple, something that wouldn’t be too hard to follow even on the worst days. It was a few months after the press stopped caring about the messy breakup, and Taeyong finally had a chance to breathe. Sometimes, Doyoung let him stay in bed for longer even if he was already awake. Some days, he’d take away Taeyong’s laptop and urge him to sleep. Every now and then, he’d get Taeyong into a nice warm bath and give him time. It was never easy, but he saw Taeyong smiling, really smiling after so long, and it was worth it.

Seeing the healing is rewarding, actually. Doyoung didn’t want to ask for more, not when Taeyong already started to get up on his own. It was a ray of sunshine after months of perpetual gray.

So yes, he’ll always care. Even if it’s tiring. Even if it took time. Caring was the least he can do.

He’s not the only one. Doyoung has been friends with Yeri for nearing a decade now, and he sees the difference of working for someone that actually values her, and not just needs her for the work that they make her do. He knows that she cares for Wendy too in her own way, and it’s evident in the way that Wendy is fond of her.

“What is that?” Yeri asks from beside him, her face scrunching as she squints to see.

Coming through the door is a sculpted rendition of one of Taeyong’s drawings, an abstract piece that is now proudly displayed in the hallway. The sculpture is made entirely of cake, and it took a whole two weeks to be done.

“It’s the cake,” Doyoung says, pointing with his hand to direct the men to place it on the table that’s specifically for it. “Well, one of the cakes.”

An eyebrow raises. “How many are coming, exactly?”

Tapping his thumb against the side of his tablet, he says, “I’d say about 5? That was my last count anyways, but you know, some of them bring their own cake.”

Yeri just nods, sighing softly to herself. Even with how long they’ve been in this sort of job, it still just astonishes them sometimes how much extravagance the wealthy can pull off. 

She watches as the cake is carefully placed on the table, and some last-minute adjustments are made to the fondant. “Jung Jaehyun, huh?”

It would be impossible for her (or pretty much everyone else) not to know at this point. By this morning, Doyoung has already noted at least 15 different articles about this “mystery man” that music producer Lee Taeyong has been seen with. Everyone’s surprised about it of course, after years of Taeyong not appearing with anyone other than Doyoung by his side.

Certainly, it didn’t take too long for netizens to find out who Jaehyun was, plus his social media. It didn’t take too long either to see comments calling him “daddy” and other terms that Doyoung would much rather prefer to forget.

So yes, everybody should know about Jaehyun by now, and they’ll know even more about him after this party. 

“Yes. Jung Jaehyun.” He gives a tight-lipped smile. “Who’s uh, currently asleep somewhere.”

Chuckling, Yeri shakes her head. “He’s not at all what I expected him to be.”

Doyoung bites his cheek. It’s true. “Yeah, I don’t think he’s anything we’d think he is.”

Yeri looks up at him, narrows her eyes ever so slightly. Doyoung feels like she could read right through him if she tried. “How do you feel about him?”

His fingers tighten just a bit on his tablet. “You’re assuming I feel about him.”

Two eyebrows are up now. There’s a hint of a smile on Yeri’s lips. “Are you going to try to evade the question again?”

He sighs. “I don’t know,” he answers, because that’s the truth. “I don’t know how I feel about him.”

“That’s okay to admit.” She leans against the column, her baby blue Louis Vuitton suit a nice contrast to the dark stone. “You don’t need to always know how to feel.”

“I don’t like it though.” Doyoung tears his gaze away from hers. She’ll know absolutely everything if he kept it. “The not knowing.”

Yeri clicks her tongue, shrugs. “He’s a hot, successful guy that doesn’t seem to be a complete ass, plus he likes your boss and your boss likes him. It’s okay not to know how you feel. Everything’s too complicated to know everything.”

Doyoung nudges her side with his Apple Pencil. “I hate that you know these things.”

Shrugging again, Yeri says, “It’s a talent that I should really be paid for.” She pushes herself off the stone column, reaches for a champagne flute from a passing waiter. “I’m not going to give you a lecture on why that just might be a recipe for disaster, but at least tell me you’ll be careful.”

This is Yeri, the one Doyoung brings on shopping trips for scarves and shares gossip blogs to so that they can both either try to take the author down or find out more about the story. She’s 3 years younger than Doyoung, but she has far more wisdom in her than Doyoung might ever have. This is her, and she’ll be the exact one to slap Doyoung back into reality.

“I will be.”

She eyes him for a long moment, then taking a sip of her drink. “Sure hope so, bun. I sure hope so.”

Well, Doyoung didn’t quite expect Johnny either.

The man had come into the Lee residence in a suit straight from Seoul fashion week (Doyoung knows. He’s ordered the same one for Taeyong, and it hasn’t even arrived yet), chestnut hair slicked back and towering over nearly everyone. Doyoung would never consider himself short, but he sure feels like that next to Johnny Seo. He was all regality and his chin up high, and it made a momentary hush fall over the party.

Then, he nearly tackled both Taeyong and Doyoung into hugs, the wind knocked out of them and leaving them teetering in their place. It was like being collided into with a huge dog. Or a bear, maybe.

“Hi! Sorry I’m a little late,” Johnny had said, hands on Taeyong and Doyoung’s shoulders. “Got a little lost haha! Haven’t been to Seoul in so long, I swear I have no idea how the roads work anymore.”

Somebody took the wine he brought, bringing it to the wine chiller. The party got back into its usual chatter, relaxing after they’ve confirmed that Johnny Seo is not as intimidating as he originally looked.

“Taeyong, right?” he asks, eyes lighting up. “Jaehyun told me so much about you! Wow, I must say, pictures don’t do you justice.”

Even in the slightly dimmed lights, Doyoung can see Taeyong turn a tinge of red. “Oh um, thank you? He sent photos?”

“Ah! Just the selfies you took together in Italy, plus press photos.” Johnny’s smile turns into a wince. “Is that weird? Sorry–”

“It’s fine!” Taeyong interjects, smiling genuinely up at him. “Jaehyun told me about you too. You like music, he said?”

“Oh, Taeyong.” He looks at the music producer like he can’t believe he’s asking that question. “I  _ love _ music. I’ve tried producing my own actually…”

Doyoung lets Taeyong be pulled into the conversation, with Johnny casually leading them up to one of the large sofas. He feels like he can leave him there without worrying too much, so Doyoung goes to attend to some of the other guests.

The first one he encounters is Kyuhyun, who also looks like he’s just arrived. Doyoung grins up at him as he accepts what looks like a whole block of cheese wrapped nicely, and politely directs him to the table with the appetizer spread. He gives the cheese to the caterers, tells them to cut a few pieces of it to put on the board to add to the spread.

After Kyuhyun, he sees Irene in a conversation with one of the art curators that always goes to the _Gala_ _delle Notti Eterne_. She waves to him, giving him a little elegant nod before turning back to the conversation.

By the time he reaches the bar, he’s done at least half a dozen detours and greeted so many guests he’s lost count. He’s going to have to empty his pockets of business cards in a bit, if he can steal a moment to go to his own room.

Doyoung gets whatever it is the bartender is serving, a suspiciously neon green thing that comes in a little shot glass. He downs it, and is pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t burn on the way down. It does, however, settle in his stomach, a bit of warmth on this chilly evening. He gets two more, drinking them down quickly. Whatever it is doesn’t even feel like anything.

He barely even sees him when he comes, pressing his fingertips on the back of Doyoung’s suit jacket. “Hey there,” comes the all-too-familiar voice, and Doyoung tries not to tense up.

Turning, he’s met with that dazzling smile. Does it never waver?

“Hello,” he greets. Doyoung realizes that just might be the first real thing he’s said to him since he arrived.

“Whatchu drinking?” Jaehyun asks, sliding easily into his space. “I don’t think I’ve seen anything like that before.”

The bartender seems to sense something, so he slides another one to Doyoung. With his free hand, Doyoung takes it, reaching it out to the CEO. “No idea. Just drink it.”

A laugh rumbles out of Jaehyun’s chest, stopped when he lifts the shot glass to his lips. He throws his head back, downs it quickly. “Mmm. I don’t know what that is either.”

It startles a giggle out of Doyoung. “What it is doesn’t matter. It’s New Year’s, the drinks are just going to get stronger and weirder.”

Jaehyun’s smile widens. Doyoung thinks he’s going to start cursing those dimples. “Alright then, I’ll follow after you, you party animal.”

Somehow, they weave through the crowd, finding a spot at the very edge where there isn’t as much people. It just might be a talent, magically locating places where they can have some semblance of a normal conversation without being pulled this way or that. The garden lights are soft and warm here, and the chatter and music seem so far away.

“You didn’t say your friend was the hugging type.”

For a moment, Jaehyun’s brows raise. Then, he realizes. “Ah, you’ve met Johnny.”

“Sure did.” Doyoung pretends to rub at his ribcage. “I  _ really _ met him.”

There’s a laugh from Jaehyun, loud in their little corner. “He’s excited. Johnny’s been seeing the same few people over and over in the past years, it was nice to get to meet new people. Especially ones I’ve told him about.”

“You told him about me too?” Doyoung tries to sound like he’s incredulous. He’s happy that it’s too dark to actually see any form of a blush on his skin, if it  _ is _ there. Why would he blush, anyways?

“Yes.” Jaehyun doesn’t have a wineglass to swirl, so his hands remain at his back. “I did.”

Doyoung scoffs nonchalantly. Like everything is fine. Everything is fine. “What did you even say? I’m not really as interesting as Taeyong.”

And maybe he shouldn’t have said that, because the CEO’s expression softens. Doyoung doesn’t know if he should be afraid of what the answer’s going to be.

“Well.” Jaehyun has that expression on his face, smug, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. Doyoung doesn’t doubt that he does. “I told him a bit about Milan.”

His stomach drops at that. He had already willed himself not to think too much about the polaroid still in the pocket of his bag. “Ah, that.” He’s eternally grateful for years of training his voice to stay neutral. 

“Yeah! I told him that you’re such a nice travel buddy, and he said he was jealous. We always try to travel together when we can, and he hasn’t been to Milan for a few years now.”

Nodding, Doyoung racks his mind for a way to change the topic. He really didn’t want to remember Milan, not when he’s got three shots in his system already.

Before he can, though, Jaehyun beats him to it. “Really should’ve believed Taeyong when he said that you’re the best at planning. You planned this in what, a little over two weeks?”

Doyoung nods again. “Yeah. It’s just a matter of knowing who to contact and getting things running as soon as possible,” he manages to get out.

“That’s incredible,” Jaehyun breathes, like Doyoung has just told him the secrets of the universe. “I couldn’t plan a party if I tried. You don’t even like parties but you’re good at them? Wish that were me.”

Chuckling a little, Doyoung ventures to bump elbows with him. It was something he did with Taeyong too. He doesn’t know what gets into him when he says, “I can teach you.”

Face brightening, Jaehyun asks, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Doyoung gets a drink from somewhere, and he doesn’t even know what it is before he brings it to his mouth. Red wine. “Really.”

The CEO hums in contentment, his eyes looking up to the sky. “Do you like New Year’s, Doyoung?”

In one big gulp, Doyoung finishes his wine. It isn’t the wine he personally chose for this party, so it’s most likely one of the bottles that a guest brought. A bit bitter, dark and warm in his stomach. “It’s nice to have a fresh start.”

Wordlessly, Jaehyun brings the both of them to seats near the garden. He doesn’t speak until Doyoung has settled into the bar stool, empty wineglass still in his hand.

“I’ve just always believed that I can keep changing, regardless what day of the year it is,” Jaehyun muses. A hand traces idly on the pattern of the counter, and Doyoung stops himself from following the motion with his gaze. “I don’t want to wait for the beginning of a new year to make myself better.”

That makes sense, Doyoung thinks. Improvements can be done right smack in the middle of the year, and they’d matter as much as in the beginning of the year. Every day is a new day, after all, why not start then?

The back of a hand is tapped against Doyoung’s knee. “We always stay at the sides during parties, do we not?” Jaehyun’s eyes are like the night sky on New Year’s eve. Waiting for a spark, some light, familiar still. “We should change that. Learn more with and about each other, yeah?”

Quietly, Doyoung answers, “Okay.”

His knee is nudged again. “Do you ever get scared while getting to know someone? I do. I keep thinking I’ll fuck it up somehow, and then they’ll never talk to me again.” A laugh bubbles out of him, and even with the noise of the party, Doyoung hears it clearly. “Not the best thing when I have to meet so many new people on an almost regular basis.”

In fact, Doyoung has never felt that. He knows that he can maneuver that conversation into something more comfortable, and that he’ll be able to make the person loosen up a little more around him. It’s habit maybe, sitting back and letting them reveal about themselves until he knows them enough.

But Jaehyun? He’ll probably never truly know him. There’s too much to ask, too much to discover, despite how open he seems.

Doyoung only hums in agreement.

“Let’s not be scared with each other,” Jaehyun says resolutely. “Friends?”

He holds out a hand. Doyoung stares at it for a moment before taking it.

“Friends, yeah.”

At some point after that, Jaehyun slips away, saying that he’s going to look for Taeyong. Johnny almost immediately replaces him in his seat, ordering a drink of his own. His smile is brighter than any of the lights here.

“Haven’t talked to you much tonight. I’m Johnny, again. I understand you’re Taeyong’s PA?”

At the corner of his vision, Doyoung notices their countdown clock beeping red. “Yes. Kim Doyoung.” He stretches out a hand. Johnny takes it, shakes it confidently.

“Pleasure to meet you, for the second time tonight.” Johnny is charming, in the way that you can’t help but be drawn to his light. “Ah, we’re going to enter the New Year not too long now.”

It’s true. They had about three minutes. “Do you have any resolutions, Mr. Seo?” he asks kindly.

Johnny purses his lips, fingers tapping on the side of his whiskey glass. “Maybe find my business partner first. I always lose him at places like this.”

Doyoung quickly scans the crowd for him, squinting against all the glitter and the expensive fabrics. He does want to locate Taeyong too, see if he’s already had too much to drink so that he can rush over.

And then he sees them. True to what Jaehyun said, he came to find Taeyong. He did.

Currently, he also has found Taeyong’s mouth with his own, holding the blue-haired head gently in his hands while everyone around them cheered. Doyoung thinks people just might not watch the fireworks show anymore.

“Oh, there they are!” Johnny exclaims beside him. Doyoung doesn’t have to turn to know he’s smiling. “Getting that New Year’s kiss huh? Classic Jae.”

Doyoung nods, gets himself another one of those strangely colored drinks, and downs it in one go.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **6:00 pm, Myeongdong**

“Have you been to one of their concerts?” 

Lucas looks up from the knit scarves he was perusing. They’re at a year-end bazaar, just strolling around. It’s one of their few actually free days, and it was nice to go out for a bit.

“Yeah.” Lucas nods, eyes flitting down as he tries to remember. “I try to go whenever they have one here, or if I’m abroad, the ones I can catch. Why?”

Jungwoo runs his fingers across a soft blanket. “What’s it like?”

Taking in a deep breath, Lucas wounds a dark blue scarf around his hands, testing how it feels. “They’re...something else. I’ve watched my fair share of concerts in the past years, but I don’t think anyone’s quite like them.”

“How so?”

The model thinks for a moment. Jungwoo looks through the different colors and patterns of the blanket to occupy himself. The dark green one may be good to buy for Jisung, who always seems to be cold.

“When they’re on the stage, the energy, it’s just so different.” Lucas’s voice has turned soft, quiet. “It doesn’t matter if you’re in the farthest seat, you can just  _ feel _ their aura all the way to wherever you are. They’re charismatic, enchanting, almost. I swear, you can’t take your eyes off of them, whether they’re performing something cute or something strong. It almost always feel like it’s too short, the time they’re given, because you want to keep watching. And the crowd, it just hums, and it’s like everything is moving too slowly and too quick. Does that...make sense?”

Jungwoo nods, giving him a smile. “It does, thank you.”

Lucas buys the dark blue scarf, and puts the blanket Jungwoo gets for Jisung into the paper bag too. “This is your first time watching them?”

“First concert ever,” Jungwoo admits. “If you don’t count the one that I went to in middle school.”

There’s a chuckle from the taller man. They’re already walking again, pressed close together because of the crowd. It’s surprisingly not that cold this year, and the many people in the little square helps with the heat.

“I can promise you that it’s an amazing experience.”

“Great! I’m going to forty-two of them.”

Whipping his head around to look at him, eyes widening, Lucas asks incredulously, “Forty-two?”

“Mmhmm.” Jungwoo raises his brows as if to say he barely believes it either. “In the span of a little over two months.”

“Is that…” Lucas waves a hand, trying to get the word. “Healthy?”

Shaking his head, Jungwoo gives a sad smile. “Nope. Not at all.”

Lucas seems to want to say something to that, but he stops himself. He straightens up, tries to look ahead. Jungwoo feels him sigh.

“I can’t say I’m entirely surprised.”

They arrive at a stall that sells hot dumplings. The characters spelling out the name of the stall are in Chinese, and Lucas mouths them to himself. He’s the one that lines up for it, with Jungwoo just beside him.

“They’ve done this before?” Jungwoo asks, genuinely curious. He presses closer so he can lower his voice. “The… company, I mean.”

Nodding, Lucas keeps his eyes on the menu. “I don’t know about all of the other ones, but there were some similar occurrences. I think theirs is the worst so far.”

It makes Jungwoo wince. He reaches out a hand, squeezing Lucas’s elbow. “I don’t know what to do.”

A hand comes to rest on top of his, patting gently. “There’s not much you can do. Sorry.”

And he thinks that it really shouldn’t be Lucas apologizing, or any of the Dreamies for that matter. None of this is their fault at all.

Lucas orders for them, speaking in a language that Jungwoo cannot fully understand. He picks up some words, probably due to him accompanying some of the members to their Mandarin lessons, so he at least gets the gist of it. Beside the model, he watches as one of the men in the stall opens what looks like a huge stone oven, the inside dotted with the fluffy white dumplings.

Before Jungwoo could even do anything else, Lucas puts two very hot buns wrapped in parchment into his hands, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. Lucas seems to chat a little bit more with the stall owner, possibly ordering something else, and Jungwoo just stands there, the heat from the buns nearly burning him.

They leave the stall with the buns stuffed into Jungwoo’s roomy pockets and Lucas holding two paper bowls of something else. Once they find a bench to sit on at the edge of the bazaar, Jungwoo presses his palms to the cold metal.

“Too hot,” he complains, nearly hissing at the relief of the icy seat. “I could’ve used a little warning.”

“Sorry,” Lucas says, and he looks genuinely apologetic. “I got used to them, I forgot not everybody is.”

Pulling out the still-hot buns, Jungwoo gives him one. “What’s this one called?

“ _ Hujiao bing _ ,” Lucas tells him, peeling away the wrapper on his. “Black pepper bun.”

Jungwoo does the same on his, blowing on it until it feels manageable to the touch. It still hurts a bit when he bites into it, but the warmth is welcome. The dough is flaky, rather toasted on the bottom while the top is perfectly golden and topped with sesame seeds. Inside is packed with flavorful meat, and a little bit of the juice even runs down his chin.

Laughing, Lucas sticks a tissue onto his chin. “Careful.”

It’s so good that Jungwoo takes another bite without caring about how hot it is anymore. His tongue is burned now, anyways. It makes him breathe out little puffs of steam, and Lucas giggles at it.

“I guess I’ll buy you more of that from now on.” Jungwoo nods enthusiastically.

As he chews his bites, he steals a few glances at the man beside him. Lucas is in a huge puffy coat, keeping it close to him even though he barely looks affected by the cold otherwise. It’s a casual day for them, but his hair is still styled perfectly out of his bright eyes. He doesn’t even bother to cover his face in any way, and Jungwoo is a bit relieved at it.

He tries to stop thinking about how Lucas might feel about the whole concert thing, but it proves to be difficult to push it down. After Mark told him about how Lucas trained with them, he hasn’t really stopped wondering about what happened.

But Jungwoo knows it’s not his place to ask. Whatever did happen, whatever the cause of Lucas not debuting with them, he has the right not to share with anyone.

Lucas, though, might be some sort of magic, because he gently says, “I’m proud of them, still.”

He hands Jungwoo the paper bowl with dumplings, and the PA takes it as a sign to not reply yet.

“Like, I know not all the conditions of this whole thing are great, but I’m so happy for them. They’ve honestly come so far, and they deserve this recognition, this fame. All of them are insanely talented and are great people too. Good things come to good people, right?”

Nodding, Jungwoo swallows down another dumpling. “Yes, you’re right.”

He watches as Lucas takes in a deep breath, looking straight in front of him. “It’s been so long since we were trainees.” His blinking has slowed, just a bit. “A lot has changed, I can tell you that.”

“What has changed?” Jungwoo gently prods.

“Well.” The beginnings of a smile tilt the corners of his mouth up. “Did you know that the only ones that could really dance during the start of the trainee days were Jisung and Renjun? Barely anyone else knew how to, but look how good they are now.”

Jungwoo has seen it. He’s watched as many performances as he could, looking at a different member each time. Each one had their own distinct style, yet it still appeared compact and united in all their movements. Lucas seems proud of it.

“And the voices. The voices! Oh god, imagine all these teenage boys going through the early stages of puberty there, with little to no vocal training, trying out songs from their seniors. It’s exactly what you think it’ll sound like.” He laughs, the sound ringing into the night. “When you listen to them now, it’s like they’ve been doing this their whole life.”

He turns to face Jungwoo, his face etched with fondness. “They’re also so much more confident now? When we were trainees, we’d all slink back and push each other to answer when one of the seniors talked to us. We all went out in groups because we’d freeze up trying to explain to anyone where we were going. And interviews were the worst, I swear.” Lucas shakes his head, smile widening. “Now, they can give advice to all the new trainees, and the way they answer interviews? They’re so articulate, all of them, and they always make such good points. People listen to their words so much more closely now.”

Using his paper bowl to gesture, Lucas continues, “All of them hold themselves so well, be it on stage or just in their day-to-day lives. None of them are those gangly, awkward boys in the training rooms anymore. Everyone’s grown up.”

“A lot really has changed.” Jungwoo wants to reach out to him somehow, but his hands are full. “How about you? What’s changed?”

Ever so slightly, Lucas’s face falls. He keeps the smile though, but Jungwoo knows there’s sadness in it.

“A lot too,” he manages. “My life isn’t anything that I thought it’d be.”

Jungwoo inches closer, just so, a knee bumping into Lucas’s. “Is that a good thing?” he asks gently.

Lucas’s eyes don’t look straight at him as he nods slightly. “It’s good, experiencing all these new things and going to places and getting recognized almost anywhere. In a way, it’s still what I wanted at the beginning, but just with a different path.”

Taking in a deep breath, Jungwoo feels a pang of sadness at his words. Lucas had wanted to debut, wanted to perform and meet fans and make music with the friends he practically grew up with. He didn’t get that, but he got a life that was almost similar. Not that he seemed to want it.

“Like most changes, it took a while to get used to it. I got put in a different dorm, I was separated from the friends I’ve made most hours of the day, I started to not know what they were doing anymore. But I was promised recognition too, I was promised fame. I was promised a future in the company. I thought…” He shakes his head, and his smile is even sadder now. “Yeah.”

And it really must have hurt, being torn away from the family he had in this country, and made to do his own thing. How hard it must have been, because while the group had each other, he only had himself.

The next breath Lucas takes in is a little shaky. “I got it, and I promise I do like what I do. It’s just…”

“Not what you really wanted,” Jungwoo finishes for him.

Lucas knocks his knuckles against Jungwoo’s knee playfully. His eyes are warm in the light of the bazaar stalls, warm and so, so sad.

“So when I watch them, when I watch the concerts,” he takes a breath, and his gaze is elsewhere again, “I’m so proud. I’m happy and excited for them, and I am so proud of them. But it hurts too, even though I would never tell them that.”

Jungwoo thinks the others know somehow. He’s sure that Mark is aware. This is his best friend, it would be hard to miss something like that.

“I wonder what it’s like to be on that other side, facing all those fans. Hear the cheers, hear them singing along to the songs.” His face lights up for a moment, and it breaks Jungwoo’s heart. Lucas sighs, his breath a puff of white in the wintry air. “I’m okay with watching, of course, but I just wonder. More often than I’d like to admit.”

“It’s okay to admit it.”

“Yeah.” Lucas looks sheepish, twisting his fingers in his lap. “It’s just...they deserve this so much, and I don’t want to be that killjoy that’s sad about it, you know?”

He pulls Lucas into a half-hug as best as he can, and it startles the model a bit. Lucas settles though, head fitting just so on Jungwoo’s shoulder.

“I can’t say that I know how it feels,” Jungwoo begins. Lucas seems to shift, looking up at him. “But I understand why you feel that way. It’s absolutely valid to be both proud and sad. Don’t feel guilty about it okay?”

Jungwoo feels him nod, and let out another sigh. “Okay.” His voice doesn’t sound all that stable anymore.

Neither of them really move after that, just wordlessly eating their food. Jungwoo looks up at the night sky, at how he can barely see the stars, but he thinks of wishing on them anyways.

It was almost the New Year, and things should change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me your thoughts about this one! i know it's a pretty sad one ;;  
> also i wrote about half of this while listening to the renjun fools cover lol that might explain why it's sad >.<
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/bundoie) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/evnsangcvlt)


	9. every day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly feel free to bonk me on the head for how long this took

**Jungwoo** **  
** **6:30 am,** **Dreamie Dorm, Samseong-dong**

It’s Jeno who opens the door to the dorm. He’s rubbing at his eyes, probably only woke not long ago. 

“Morning, Jeno,” Jungwoo greets, almost in a whisper. Loosening the scarf around his neck, he slides it off, folding it neatly. “Are you the only one up?”

The boy shakes his head, slumping into the sofa. He tilts his head toward the direction of the rooms. 

Knowing that Jeno is most likely not yet in a state to really start talking, Jungwoo just goes down the hallway, peering into the rooms that are open. Seulgi is there, knocking on Jaemin’s door. Renjun is up, although he seems to just be staring at the wall in the meantime. The door to Mark and Donghyuck’s door is open as well, judging by the light streaming out into the hallway.

When he passes by, Seulgi pats the small of his back. It’s her signal to tell him that she’ll talk to him later, most likely to give him instructions for breakfast or have him help to escort the first batch to the recording studio. He acknowledges the motion with a little nod, and proceeds to the room at the end of the hall.

The lights are on, but neither of the two occupants are up yet. Jungwoo comes in, notes that Donghyuck is still very much asleep, before sitting at the edge of Mark’s bed.

Mark is awake, eyes open to look at the ceiling. He reaches out a hand to the PA, Jungwoo takes it in his, pats it.

“Time to get up?” Mark asks, voice rough but small.

Jungwoo nods. “You’re the second one going into the recording room.”

At this, Mark makes a face. He’s well aware, of course, but hearing it again at this early in the morning is just different.

Squeezing his hand, Jungwoo says, “Come on, you need to at least not be in your pajamas when you go there.”

With a groan, Mark pulls himself up. His hair is sticking out in every possible direction, and there are lines of sleep on his right cheek. Jungwoo reaches out to try to smooth his hair down.

“Go change into something at least close to outside wear, alright? I’ll go wake up Hyuckie.”

With a nod, Mark sighs, pulling the covers off of himself. Jungwoo crosses the little space between the beds to go to the other occupant of the room.

Donghyuck is set to record first today. He almost always is, and it doesn’t seem that he has ever gone to bed early despite the years of doing this.

Bundled up in all his blankets, Donghyuck looks rather tiny, like a lump in the center of the bed. Jungwoo places a gentle hand on where he thinks the hip may be, and shakes him a little.

“Time to wake up!” 

There’s a groan from somewhere within the sheets, and the lump shifts. Stifling a giggle, Jungwoo tries again.

“Hyuckie, it’s time to get up.”

It takes a bit before he gets a response, a muffled sigh. The covers are pulled back just enough for Donghyuck’s head to peek out.

“Is it time already?” he protests, much like a child not wanting to get up for school.

Nodding, Jungwoo makes a little squeeze on the blankets. “I’m afraid it is.”

With a long-suffering exhale, Donghyuck somehow manages to pull himself up, still very much encased in the layers. Even with them, he slumps.

“I’ll...I’ll be ready in a bit.”

Satisfied, Jungwoo leaves the room, soon finding their manager in the living room. Seulgi is in a tracksuit, her hair in a messy ponytail, and Jungwoo knows she’s not entirely fond of these early schedules either.

When she sees him, her expression brightens. She doesn’t even have to ask before Jungwoo already has an answer.

“They’re up, told them to get dressed.” He sees the relief wash over her features. “Need me to get anything?”

“Yeah, uh.” She pauses, passes her hands over her bare face. “I think we’re gonna need some caffeine.”

He smiles at her, already wrapping his scarf around himself again.

“Got it.”

The recording studio feels a bit stuffy, but at least it’s pretty warm inside. Jungwoo arrives with the first batch of the Dreamies that are set to record, namely Donghyuck, Mark, and Jisung. Mark is the very first to record, so Jungwoo accompanies the other two to the waiting room and makes sure they're settled before coming back to the recording room. Mark hasn't started yet, still listening to some of the pointers of the producers before he does. Jungwoo sits down on the couch in the room, crossing one leg over the other.

It's the first time he's been to their recording, and it's not like anything he ever expected it to be. Mark is behind a whole window of glass, slipping the headphones on and reading through his lines that have been printed out. The producer is waiting for him to say that he can begin, adjusting something in his work station that Jungwoo doesn't quite understand.

When he begins, Jungwoo is a little surprised at how he sounds. Well, he has in fact heard Mark rap in their songs, of course, and he hears him do it every now and then at idle moments. But like this, when it's really just his voice, loud and clear, it takes him aback. It's so clear, so pure, he'd say. Even without the editing, it sounds undeniably good.

After the first run, the producer is giving a few more pointers, and Mark nods at each of them. His eyes are wide as he takes in everything, and Jungwoo sees him draw in a deep breath before going again.

This time, the producer says it’s perfect for him already. Mark has a pleased beam on his face before he continues to his next set of lines.

Jungwoo greets him with a hug once he finishes, and is relieved that Mark goes with it easily now. A few months back, he was still hesitant, so it’s nice to see that it’s okay with him now. Jungwoo personally thinks that he deserves all of the hugs.

When Donghyuck goes in, Mark lingers. He sits with Jungwoo on the couch, reading over the lines of the others on the printout. Donghyuck makes a few practice runs before starting, and Jungwoo can see him play with the drawstrings of his hoodie while he does.

Now, when he begins, Jungwoo is simply blown away again. Even with him going to the music shows and hearing Donghyuck sing unprompted in the dorm, he still can’t quite wrap his head around the fact that he sounds like  _ that. _ He’s been listening to music pretty much his whole life, ranging from different bands to foreign artists to local pop music, and he has yet to hear anyone who sounds quite like Donghyuck. And honestly, he can listen to him sing all day.

Beside him, Mark is mouthing the words, following along with Donghyuck’s voice. Jungwoo wonders if it’s a habit of his, something developed over years of working together.

After Donghyuck’s first part, the producer asks him what he thinks of that. Donghyuck says that he can improve the way he delivers a line, and Mark says he’s doing great before making a tiny suggestion of his own. With a nod, Donghyuck prepares to sing that part again.

Jungwoo has seen Mark give feedback during their music video shooting, and now he’s seen him do it during the recording too. The way he does it is he compliments them on a job well done, and would help them improve on some things as well. Mark always did what he could to help them get better, and never once brought them down for a handful of mistakes. 

And even though it isn’t always said directly, he knows that the other members appreciate him doing that.

After Donghyuck has finished three of the parts where he sings, Mark comes up to compliment him again. It’s easy to see the pride in his expression, and how that makes Donghyuck happy as well. Getting a few more comments from the producer, Donghyuck gets ready for the next part.

They see it through the end, right up to Donghyuck coming out and hi-fiving with Mark. Donghyuck goes up to the producer to listen to everything they’ve recorded so far, and how it sounds with the backing track with it.

All three leave the room just as Jisung comes in, as he prefers to record without having people there. Mark promises that he’ll come back to listen to it, and follows Jungwoo out the door.

Settling in the waiting room, Mark finally gets to unwrap his breakfast sandwich. Donghyuck has gone down to buy something for himself, so it’s only him and Jungwoo here now. Jungwoo nudges him slightly.

“Hm?”

“Been wondering for a while.” He swirls his takeout coffee cup. “Do you like Donghyuck?”

Mark splutters, nearly spitting out the bite that he was chewing. His eyes are wider than Jungwoo has ever seen them at this time of day. “What? Wait - where did you -”

He offers a small smile. “It’s kind of part of my job to notice things, right? And I...noticed.”

With a nod, Mark tries to swallow his food. He seems like he’s processing everything that Jungwoo just said, although it’s not much. Jungwoo gives him the time, they can stay here anyways.

“I...Okay, I’m gonna explain.” He holds his hands out.

“Take your time, sweetie, no rush.”

Realization dawns on Mark’s face. “Wait, he’s going to come back any moment now -”

“Mark,” he says gently. “He already told Seulgi noona that he wants to go straight home after this. It’s okay.”

Eyeing him, Mark absorbs that. Then, he sighs, letting some of the tension leave his body.

“It wasn’t...it wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What do you mean?”

With careful hands, Mark folds up the wrapper of his sandwich, setting it in front of him. He stares hard at it. “There’s this thing called ‘ships’. Where fans would link two or more people together, usually romantically.”

“I know what ships are. I’ve read quite a lot about them.” Jungwoo leans back in his chair, regarding him. Mark is still not looking.

“Yeah. Uh, well, the companies - they know they can sell with ships, especially the really popular ones. Once they see that these two members of the same group are linked together often and have a good number of fans, they will use that to their advantage. Put them together in the teasers, in the merch, in the variety shows, in the shoots, all of that. And then, together on flights, in the rooms, on Vlives, everything.”

He realizes where this is going. “You and Donghyuck are a ship.”

Jungwoo has seen it, actually. The way that fans would quote stuff they said about each other in interviews or fansigns, tweet out photos of them staying close to each other at the airport and adjusting each other’s caps and masks, all the gifs of them laughing together. They were popular together, undeniably.

Mark nods slowly. “Yes. We are. We -” He sighs, shaking his head slightly. “We’ve been a ship since the rookie days.”

Oh. Jungwoo has seen their videos during that time, uploaded on the company channel. They were so tiny then, with high-pitched voices. Both of them had been paired for a good handful of videos, like they were always stuck together.

“I guess it’s because we’re so close?” Mark continues. Jungwoo thinks he sounds like he can barely believe it. “When we were trainees, we hung out together a lot because we were close in age, and he helped me navigate through the company and the country as much as he could. Like, he’d explain slang to me and he’d order the food at the cafeteria for me. Stuff like that. We were together at the dorm too, even then.”

Fiddling with his fingers, Mark takes in a breath. “And then we did a bunch of videos together, mostly just us. They thought that since we were good friends, it was great to do that. Less awkward, less like something forced, y’know? Hyuckie and I… we just worked together well.”

Jungwoo’s phone lights up with a notification. It’s from Seulgi, saying that she already has Donghyuck in the van and that they’re going to drive home first. She’ll pick up the others if they’re ready. He locks his phone after reading it.

“That just continued when we debuted. We were given stage personas, like every other idol. He was playful and hyper and teasing, while I was more mellowed and easy-going. We were still friends, of course, but our dynamics became different. They wanted a friendship that was fun to watch, a push-and-pull, something that didn’t bore the fans. We were a new group, we had to show dynamics amongst ourselves that would help in hooking people into becoming a fan of ours.”

And this, this isn’t something that most people would even know about. The amount of altering that the companies had to do to be able to sell the image that they wanted to sell, it was surprising. Jungwoo takes all of it in, staying silent to let Mark continue.

“So...yeah. Donghyuck and I, we became even more cemented as a pairing then. We did promo together, we found each other in the crowd and stuck to one another, we had specific lines to say in interviews or Vlives sometimes. It was all to sell this idea, this image that we’re close, possibly not even just in a friendly way.”

When they had debuted, Mark had been 17 and Donghyuck 16. Already, they had to conform to this specific narrative that the company chose, something that was supposed to get more fans, get more people talking about them and then discovering the group in the process. They’ve been doing it for more than 4 years now, and without a fail, they have made it look like it was just how they were.

“Don’t get me wrong, not all of it is a lie. We  _ are _ friends, all of us. We are close, but just not in the way that people see. Hyuckie is my best friend, we know a lot about each other and we’ve always stayed by each other’s side, but our friendship is more than what the company has been using to get endorsements. I promise.”

Jungwoo takes a long look at him. He knows that Mark is genuine about this.

Mark tears a little bit of the sandwich wrapper. “And then…”

“And then?”

“I…” He takes a breath, steels himself. “It wasn’t supposed to happen. I started...liking him. In the non-platonic way.”

Wincing, Mark tears more of the sandwich wrapper. “I just. I dunno. I just looked at him one day and it hit me. Which is a really lame way to say it, but that’s what happened.”

Placing a hand on his knee, Jungwoo squeezes. Mark’s breaths are shaky now, but he tries to steady himself. Jungwoo hands him his cup of water.

“And really, it’s stupid because so much of... _ this _ isn’t real. I can’t just like him in a very real way while a good chunk of this is actually just for show.”

Jungwoo bites the inside of his cheek, hard. He can’t refute that and say that Mark doesn’t know if all of this  _ wasn’t _ for show, as he really doesn’t know what Donghyuck feels about the whole thing. What he feels about Mark. They are close, yes, to the point that they know each other like the back of their hand, but that doesn’t automatically mean that Donghyuck feels the same.

So he soothes Mark. It’s the only thing he can really do right now, what with how confusing things can be. He wishes he could help, but this is not for him to meddle in.

Mark makes a slow exhale. “I won’t let it ruin stuff, though.” He lets the corners of his mouth tilt up. “I won’t let myself get carried away by the feelings. This group, being here and doing this, it means a lot to me and to everyone here. I don’t wanna fuck that up.”

He gives Mark a small smile. “You won’t fuck that up. I promise.”

Truthfully, he can’t be sure. He has no way of telling whether or not something like this could become a problem in the future. After all, Mark was human, and this, liking someone he can’t really have while also making enough romantic moments for fanservice, it can’t possibly be easy.

It was the truth of it all. Nothing came easy in this industry. There was a lot to hide, to hold back from the world, for the sake of their group and their members. Feelings like this, of attraction, it had consequences. Most idols can’t date or can’t disclose that they have partners, since a good number of fans either want them to fulfill their ships or they want them for themselves. And then with this, with liking a fellow member, it could begin a series of complications that will only hurt the group.

Jungwoo comforts him, even though he knows it’s not quite enough.

**Doyoung** **  
** **3:30 pm, Times Square Mall, Yeongdeungpo-gu**

“Oh wow, I might actually like shopping here a lot more than back in the states!”

Doyoung takes off his glasses, fogging up in the relatively warmer temp of the interior of the mall. He puts them into the case, slips it into a pocket of his coat. A few steps ahead of him, Johnny is already wide-eyed at the many different displays.

“Did you know that the U.S. doesn’t have malls quite like this?” he marvels, the lights from the stores casting a glow on him. “Boring, if you ask me.”

They’re at one of the malls that Johnny had wanted to visit, saying that he had followed a handful of blogs for a while and he’s seen many great reviews about this place and the shops here. Today was a surprisingly free day, so Johnny had somehow acquisitioned Doyoung to come with him to explore a little. Doyoung agreed to it only when Taeyong promised that he and Jaehyun would just stay and have a movie night.

What that really means is none of Doyoung’s business. 

So today, he's sorta kinda babysitting Johnny. Nothing he hasn't done before with other people certainly.

Johnny is at least easy to be with. He has done a good amount of research in the area, he knows exactly where he wants to go and what he wants to see, and that makes Doyoung's job all the more manageable. The man's better than a lot of other people.

He sticks out in the crowd though, although that is rather unavoidable. Doyoung can't really help it if people look their way because he's accompanied by someone taller than most of the people here, speaking very distinctly in English while also being impeccably dressed (and arguably very attractive). Johnny is the type of guy you would look at without even intending to. He just draws you to him.

In the 15 minutes they've been here, they must have gotten a good handful of salespeople and customers talking in hushed tones about them. Johnny wasn't as known here as he had been in the States, but that doesn't mean they won't notice him. He's hard to miss, and rather tempting to please.

Their first stop is a store that sells bags quite near the entrance. Doyoung himself frequents the store for gifts, and he already knows that it was the type of store that Johnny would be interested in. In the short time that he's known the man, he's noticed quite the appreciation for clothing and art, as well as bags of different styles and sizes. The one he has with him now is a limited edition Armani, around 100 or less made of that style, in perfect condition and big enough to fit a phone and a card case and that was it.

Stepping inside, Doyoung sees Johnny's eyes go wide. It wasn't a luxury brand at all, it was more of a smaller brand, less popular, but the bags were undeniably gorgeous. They didn't quite fit the usual profile of men's bags, usually more square with defined lines. Bags at this tore took the path less traveled when it came to design.

Johnny almost immediately gravitates to a clear bag at the middle of the display. There are flowers seemingly embedded in the material, trapped eternally there in a gorgeous arrangement. It was more of Taeyong's style in terms of a bag, but Doyoung knows that Johnny would appreciate a good bag if he saw one.

At the shelf full of suitcases very reminiscent of vintage ones but with brand new, shiny hardware and candy-like color schemes, Johnny turns to him, the beginnings of a smile on his mouth. "I haven't seen anything like this at the stores back home."

Doyoung nods, picking up a smaller suitcase that could probably only fit his tablets and passport. "I had a feeling that you would enjoy this place."

The smile only widens. "You're good at the whole figuring people out thing, huh?"

"Kind of my job."

With a hum, Johnny turns back to the shelf. He was staying at a hotel near Taeyong's place, but Doyoung had seen his undoubtedly expensive set of luggage when he drove him to the new hotel he was going to stay at. Now, he doesn't doubt either that Johnny would take a suitcase or two back home.

He soon learns that Johnny is a lot more laidback than he would have expected. Johnny didn't seem like he owned one of the largest coffeshop chains in the States which was now expanding to several different countries. He wasn't like most other CEOs Doyoung has met in his lifetime (and he has met quite a lot of them). Doyoung thinks that he and Jaehyun were pretty similar in that aspect, in the way that they know their power and yet they choose not to use it too much. Nothing was overbearing about them, and Doyoung realizes that must be why so many people like them so easily.

After some quick research whenever he could, he's come to learn that Johnny had a similar background to his business partner. Studied law, but switched over to a business course. Was expected to take over a business, but said that he wanted to do something on his own. Their first few tries at business was mostly funded by him and whatever savings he still had, but none of them quite stuck. Not before the cafe.

In a way, the cafe was a break, and they couldn't even anticipate how much it would grow over time. Doyoung bets that they never expected that it would be as big as it is now, and how much it is still growing. They were just in their early thirties, and with a long way to go. Both were successful, well-loved, and yet more down to earth than many others. It's like they just got handed over all the luck in the world.

This wasn't luck, though, he knew. It was so much more than that. And Doyoung admires them for the work that they've done and that they're still doing.

After the bag store (where Johnny had come out with a small bag, quite like the size that he currently has on him), they wander into a furniture and decor store. Doyoung raises his brows at this, but doesn't outright question it.

The interior is well-lit, and everything inside is masterfully set-up like an actual, well-designed home. He runs his hand over the back of a plush sofa as Johnny goes straight to a dining table that looks like it was made from a whole piece of driftwood. There are a few people milling about, perusing all the items while soft music plays over the speakers. Doyoung inhales the scent of clean linen, and he wonders if he can buy that particular scent here.

When he catches up to Johnny, who is now looking at the chairs that match the table, he asks, “Taking that home to the States?”

The other man smiles, shakes his head. “Ah, no. I was thinking of maybe getting a place here.”

“Oh? Have you been eyeing a spot yet?”

“No, not yet,” he says softly, turning a price tag to face him. “Somewhere close to our first branch here, maybe. Jaehyun and I, we’ve always tried to get a place near the main branches, so it’s easier for everyone and we can pop in anytime.”

Doyoung nibbles on his bottom lip. “There are a couple of apartment complexes in the area, but if you want to get a house, you might need to go a little further back. Real estate around there is pretty pricey, and gets sold quickly.”

Johnny chuckles at that, shaking his head. “Jaehyun said you know pretty much everything.”

“Again, it’s my job.”

They weave through the store, reaching an area with a desk set-up. The desk is a sleek stone and metal piece, the brass vase and lamp on it a nice contrast to the dark material. With it is a clear chair, nearly crystalline in the light. Doyoung finds himself eyeing it in interest.

Johnny gently cards his fingers through the fluff of the pillow on the chair. “Your job...is it just about knowing things and organizing meetings and all that? Sorry, I uh, haven’t had an assistant yet.”

He feels an eyebrow raise. With how busy Johnny is, it’s surprising that he doesn’t have one. “It’s not just that. Also, I find it hard to believe that you don’t have an assistant.”

With a shrug, they walk over to the bedroom set-up, and Johnny plops down into the armchair near a fake window. “I try to handle things on my own, but I do have a secretary to answer calls and emails. Schedule stuff every now and then. I don’t think that’s what you do.”

Doyoung sits in the other armchair, a little table the only thing between them. “It’s like that, but so much more. A little more personal, I’d say. Depends on both the boss and the assistant though, on what exactly the assistant will do.”

“Ah. I guess that makes sense. You can predict what they’d need or want if you know them well.”

Leaning back in the chair, Doyoung lets himself sink into the plushness for a bit. He hasn’t been to this particular store before, but he feels like he might come back soon.

“Yes, you’re right with that.” He traces the pattern on the fabric. “Knowing their habits, their likes and dislikes, it helps. Makes the job easier for me and the experience better for them. Also means there’s less of a possibility for error, and me getting fired because of it.”

That makes Johnny exhale a laugh. “That’s good. I’m guessing not all the bosses are nice, though?”

The smile he gives him is a little strained. “Taeyong’s the nicest one so far.”

With a nod, Johnny looks out the fake window, at the printout of a landscape. He lets out a breath slowly.

Then, he clasps his hands just above his stomach, leaning back into his armchair as well. Doyoung watches as he gets comfortable, even with all his long limbs in the not-so-big space.

“I think the consensus is that Taeyong’s nice.” He offers a smile.

If they were at a cafe right about now, Doyoung would have taken a sip of his tea. “I’m inclined to agree. Everybody likes him.”

Johnny raises his brows, his lips quirking up a little more. “Jaehyun quite especially.”

Nodding, Doyoung looks at the dark wooden table between them. It was true. Practically the whole world knew about that at this point, since the New Year’s kiss had reached a good amount of news sites. Nobody would be surprised about that anymore. Least of all, Doyoung, who’s seen it happen before him.

It had been a long time coming. Taeyong had met Jaehyun back in September, and only now were things really moving. Attraction seemed obvious almost right away, but nothing much happened in those months other than the occasional dates and the gifts. He’s glad that it’s moving in the direction both he and Taeyong hoped it would.

It was good, this development. The past couple of weeks or so looked promising too, and Doyoung knew that there was going to be more soon.

He’s getting used to it. One day, he’s going to be used to all the show of affection in the Lee home once again.

“This is the first time in a while he’s dated, you know,” Johnny remarks, an almost wistful look on his face. “Jaehyun, I mean.”

“Oh?” Doyoung folds his hands in his lap. “I didn’t know.”

The smile that Johnny gives him is soft. “Taeyong - he’s just different from the other people Jaehyun has dated. So much better for him, I’d say. He really got a good one there.”

Doyoung thinks about how Taeyong hasn’t dated in a while too. He is happy that now he’s with Jaehyun, who is genuinely better than a whole lot of other ones. Jaehyun is kind and sweet and genuine, and Taeyong deserves at least that with a partner.

“And I understand that you brought them together, yeah?”

He nods, remembering how he had set up their whole fancy date only to end up going to McDonald’s with the both of them.

“Thank you for that,” Johnny breathes out, and his expression is warm. “Jaehyun’s happy, you know.”

That’s good. Albeit indirectly, Doyoung hoped that he made more people happy with what he did, even just a little bit. And for Jaehyun to be happy, he thinks that it would make Taeyong happy too.

Johnny’s eyes are on him, kind. “You’re part of him being happy, too. He’s said that to me a few times. I promise, Jaehyun’s thankful for you too.”

And as they stand up to go look at the model kitchen, Doyoung tries not to think too much about the slight tightening in his chest.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **5:45 pm, Neo Building Practice Room 3, Cheongdam-dong**

“Okay, everybody take five!”

Jungwoo opens a bottle of water, hands it to Mark. The idol accepts it with thanks, as well as the face towel Jungwoo also gives him. He gulps down the whole bottle of water in about three gulps.

They’re already working on the choreography for the title track of their upcoming album, just barely a week after they recorded the song. It needs to be done and it needs to be done fast, because they're going to need to start practicing everything for the concert as well. The tour was going to start in less than two months, they had no time to waste at all.

Beside him, Jisung is having a little difficulty with the water bottle, so Jungwoo opens it for him. Starting today, they were going to have pretty much back-to-back practices and filming schedules. They would need to shoot for the music video, as well as the track videos, and then promo videos and the VCR for the concert as well. Other than those were the shoots for the photobooks, the posters, and lord knows what else. There was far too much to do, and it didn't seem like they had the luxury of slacking off for even a single moment.

It's kind of a nightmare in terms of the calendars that Jungwoo is organizing, and it's even worse knowing just how overtired everybody will be at the end of this. He has considered complaining quite a few times, maybe bargaining to cut down a little on the track videos or even push back the tour dates, but everything's pretty much set in stone.

Like always, he really doesn't have a say in stuff like this. 

Donghyuck has told him that this was normal, that they've done this sort of thing before. Jungwoo thinks that doesn't make it any better. Still, he can only grit his teeth and go with it, because since when did a company in this industry, much less this company, care about the things that he cares about, like, you know, artist welfare?

The title track this time around isn't their usual, as was planned. It still had that Dream sound, something that Jungwoo had heard while listening to their discography over the years, but it's more mature, more experimental. Everyone was saying that it was a way to explore all these new avenues that will start to open up for Dream with this new wave sound. Jungwoo isn't exactly sure what that means.

With that, though, the choreography has become more intricate, leaning more towards something with high tension. The resident choreographer had been pretty quick to come up with a routine, and now they were working it out with him to improve it. 

The other day, Seulgi went over the sketches and the mockups of the sets that they'll be using for the music video. Dream has been tied to the whole teens-becoming-rebellious-and-discovering-their-potential image for a bit now, and this time, it had a more powerful aura to it. They had already gotten what they wanted, and now they weren't going to let anyone get to them anymore.

Many different pegs had been pulled up in that meeting. A lot of it involved neon elements, graffiti, grungy buildings. Their stylists even had their outfits for the music video drafted up and ready for production. It was ready for the next steps.

It was...interesting. The last comeback was more refined, the sets more luxurious than gritty. This time, it didn't seem like they were holding back on the grit there. Production was already in full swing far as he knows, and the sets will most likely be ready sooner than they think.

He has a handful of suggestions for the next concept, which is unlikely to ever come through. Jungwoo just wants to see them try actual new things, really experiment with their image and their concepts, and not be forever stuck in the loop of what the company has decided is the most suitable look on them.

Well, until he sees the day that the company is taking suggestions, he's just going to file those ideas away.

The break is over pretty quickly, and they all go back to practice right away. Jungwoo stays at the side, waiting for any instructions from the choreographer as he tries (keyword: tries) to fix the group’s schedule.

Supposedly, this choreography is meant to be learned in a week, two weeks at the very, very most. This wasn’t the only choreo that they would need to have down before they started filming, so the faster this was done, the better. Filming for the music video and the track videos were scheduled towards the end of the month, and they have to be on time for that.

It’s not much of a relief that they won’t be performing at music shows in Korea, as they were definitely going on different shows in the countries that they’ll have their tour at. In the U.S. alone, they had already been invited to around 10 different interviews, and they were going to get even more offers with each passing week.

At least, though, the schedules have been adjusted a bit. One continent a month, and about three weeks of rest in between. Probably the best deal they can get right now, but with the number of cities they’ll perform at per month, it’s still quite a lot. Even with around 2-3 days between each of the concert dates, it would still be exhausting.

His email is practically bursting with all the offers to feature Dream in their show, designs sent for preview and approval, flight and hotel bookings, the drafts for the setlists. Jungwoo has gone through several dozen yesterday already, but it doesn’t seem like he even made a dent in them. By the end of the week, he’s supposed to have at least half of the full itinerary done, and made necessary arrangements in advance.He takes in a deep breath, rubbing a hand down his face.

Ticket sales were starting soon as well, and the projected amount just from ticket sales is larger than Jungwoo would have ever expected. Seulgi says that it was still very much subject to change, especially since a handful of other locations may be added to the tour dates closer towards the end of the year. Jungwoo doesn’t even want to think about the entire revenue they can amass from this, tickets, merchandise, and other things involved.

He’s come to learn that the normal around here barely feels like any normal he’s seen before.

Jungwoo is in the middle of typing out an email response when the choreographer has him press play on the music player. He looks up momentarily from his work to watch Dream start the dance, and he thinks that he’ll do a lot of things for these boys.

Jungwoo finishes up the Peking duck wrap neatly, placing it carefully into Jeno’s mouth. “I didn’t think I signed up for doing this, exactly.”

Beside him, Mark chuckles. “Nobody signed up for any of this, hyung.”

They’re at one of Renjun’s favorite restaurants in the area, gorging on duck and dimsum after the grueling practice. It’s Minseok with them tonight, ordering more as the food disappears mere minutes after being set down on their table. He says that they deserve it after their first full practice of the choreography, and he doesn’t even think twice when they request random menu items.

Sandwiched between Mark and Jeno, Jungwoo does what he can to make sure they get some semblance of a portion from all the food before it’s gone. He’s severely underestimated the appetites of boys in their late teens that have come from dancing for most of the afternoon. 

He feeds himself too, because he’s going to need the energy to get some more work done tonight. It would be best if he made progress on his workload before it all inevitably piled up even more on him. 

This was undeniably nice though, having dinner together. It was rare, since they would either eat dinner in their own time or already be asleep before they can even eat. They eat some semblance of real food now, but Jungwoo doesn’t know if they even had that in their dorms before. So yeah, seeing them eat something not from a package together all at the same time, it’s nice.

Watching as Jaemin makes wraps for both Jisung and Donghyuck, Jungwoo thinks about this little bit of family. They’ve been together for close to a decade, grew up together, went through nearly everything together. What they had was beyond a friendship at this point.

It would not have been easy at all to get to this point. They used to just be a group of trainees, not knowing if they’d even actually debut together. They would have trained together, eaten together, roomed together, gotten through evaluations together, and maybe that’s where it all started for them. All the laughter they shared, all their tears, all the embraces, from then until now. 

And that’s a little pocket of light in the lives that they live. Having each other through all of that, and for pretty much everything that follows, it matters so much. Jungwoo knows it does. He can see it in them, even in the short time he’s been with them.

As he tries to race against the others to nab the last soup dumpling, Jungwoo hopes he can keep seeing it.

“Hyung?”

Jungwoo looks up from his laptop to see Jisung peer at him from the hallway. He’s in his sleepwear already, but he looks wide awake.

“Jisung,” he says, chancing a glance at the time on his laptop. 1:45 am. “Do you need anything?”

The boy shakes his head, padding over to the kitchen counter where Jungwoo is working. “I didn’t know you’d still be here, hyung.”

Offering a tight smile, Jungwoo pats the bar stool next to him. Jisung hoists himself up onto the seat, spinning a little to face Jungwoo.

“Sorry, I lost track of time.” He resists rubbing at his eyes. “Just had a lot of stuff to do.”

Eyes on the spreadsheets on the screen, Jisung hums. Jungwoo isn’t sure if he completely processes what’s on there, because he knows that he himself barely can at this hour.

“You should sleep, Jisung.”

Turning to him, Jisung pouts the slightest bit. “You should sleep, hyung.”

It makes Jungwoo chuckle. He reaches out a hand, smoothes out an errant tuft of hair. The boy’s right. He really should be getting sleep, considering how it will be another early day for him in a handful of hours.

He trails his hand down, pinches an ear slightly. “Why are  _ you  _ still awake? Everyone else is dead tired from today.”

With a shrug, Jisung jumps off of the stool. He circles around the counter to go to the fridge and root through it. “After practices, I usually don’t fall asleep right away. I just...can’t.”

It was understandable. He just might be tired enough to not want sleep at all. Jungwoo watches as he pulls out a container of spaghetti, looking at it curiously.

Sighing, Jungwoo closes the lid of his laptop and gets off his stool. He takes the container from Jisung, popping it into the microwave to reheat. Jisung takes out a couple of those bottles of milktea, and Jungwoo opens them both.

Later, as Jisung eats his spaghetti on the couch, Jungwoo tries to push back his thoughts about his to-do list. He’s been working pretty much the whole day and he’s barely allowed himself any rest. He can’t go around preaching to the boys that they need their sleep if he doesn’t get sleep either.

Jisung is gracefully quiet. Normally, he’d bring up something he saw or experienced recently, and excitedly tell Jungwoo about it any time of the day. Now, he’s just there, pillows under his legs as he cradles the microwavable container of pasta. And because Jungwoo thinks he can’t keep awake much longer if he’s not doing  _ something, _ he gently prods Jisung’s knee.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, like he seems to always try to ask the members these days. There was no guarantee that he’d get actual answers from them, but he still wants to keep checking in. 

Still chewing, Jisung considers this. His metal fork makes noises against the plastic. “You always like asking Mark hyung that.”

“Maybe I should ask all of you that more often.”

Jisung curls his lip. “I guess I’m okay, hyung. Same as always.”

Same as always didn’t really mean good, but Jungwoo holds his tongue. He twists and untwists his bottle cap.

“Do you like the new album?” He leans against the armrest, folding his knees close to him. 

The boy hums, content. “I do, hyung. From what I’ve heard anyways. I’m excited to hear the whole thing soon.”

A few weeks back, Jisung himself had been helping with the writing of the songs, which apparently he hadn’t done before in any of their previous albums. He was nervous about the whole thing, since it wasn’t something that he had usually expressed that he was able to do because he was too shy to bring it up. The entire time, his hyungs encouraged him, said he was doing great with what he was writing, but the anxiety about it never truly left him.

That day, Jungwoo saw how proud Mark was. He kept asking Jisung for feedback on lines that he wrote, and then he’d always say the ones that Jisung wrote were really good. He listened to everything, even the littlest of suggestions that Jisung had. And even though the youngest never said it, he appreciated all of what they were doing to boost his confidence about the whole thing.

Hearing them record the songs, Jungwoo already knew that it was going to be a great album. Also, the little glow of pride that Jisung had as he recorded the lines that he personally wrote was undeniable. It had made Jungwoo immeasurably happy. 

“How about the concert? How do you feel about that?”

Jisung tucks his legs closer to himself, lets out a little sigh. “Ah, happy of course. We get to travel again, and see all the fans.”

Jungwoo nudges him again. “You don’t have to pretend that that’s all you feel, Jisung.”

He finishes his food, sets the container down on the table. Curling his fingers in the blanket on his lap, he takes a deep breath.

“Hyung, at this point, I guess that’s all we really allow ourselves to feel.” The smile he has is tired. “We’re not...we’re not really allowed to feel much else, especially when we have to go city to city like that.”

The previous year, their tour had stretched out for the majority of the year, with not a lot of rest in between. And that was with less of a number of location compared to now, so there is barely any time to go and rest, much less reflect and  _ feel. _

In every single one of their vlogs where they explored the city there were at or the behind-the-scenes of the concerts, it always looked like they were having the time of their lives. Sure, there was enjoyment in their experiences, but it was barely visible when they felt anything but that. Years of experience, of maintaining positivity even when that wasn’t the truth anymore. 

Years of being part of the group that has been an image of fun, of youthfulness and strength. That sort of thing would have taken a toll, but none that the public would ever truly see. They couldn’t always be fun and carefree, although they would always be in the eyes of many.

Placing a hand on Jisung’s shoulder, he squeezes. “You can feel whatever you want to feel, okay? You’ll always be Jisung, even on the days that you’re not the adorable and talkative maknae who updates on everything. If you feel angry or sad or hurt or disappointed or exhausted because of what’s happening and what you’re doing, that’s valid. It always will be.”

Jisung nods, gives the tiniest of a genuine smile. Jungwoo reaches a hand to smooth out the same errant tuft of hair, and he hopes that Jisung will remember his words.

**Doyoung** **  
** **7:20 pm, Taeyong’s Music Studio**

Taeyong looks almost shy as he leads them inside. He usually doesn’t come to his studio on weekends since he deemed them rest days (although he barely, if ever, actually rests). Today is a very special visit, and Doyoung had cleared everything else for this.

They were going to listen to Taeyong’s new EP, which he had been working on for the past half year. Taeyong wasn’t really keen on showing his work before it was officially released into the world. Even Doyoung, who went with him practically everywhere and knew almost everything about him, didn’t often get to listen to any of it before the release. He’s always said that sharing it when it wasn’t completely, absolutely done made him feel vulnerable, and it wasn’t something he liked to feel.

Both Jaehyun and Johnny are here today as well, marvelling at the interior of the studio. It wasn’t overly large, but it was lush and cozy. The plush sofas opposite each other are comfy enough to sleep in, even having warm blankets on them. Calm blue lighting casts a glow on everything now, especially Taeyong’s extensive set-up at the front of the room. He doesn’t have his awards here, choosing to leave them at home because he wanted to work for himself, and not for the awards. It honestly looked like a posh bar of some sort, all sleek, clean lines and fixtures. The place was such a contrast to how warm and homey Taeyong’s house was, and it had helped him be able to separate his work from his life.

“Who designed this?” Johnny asks, still gaping at the intricate ceiling sculpture that let out strips of light. “I’ve honestly never seen anything this cool before. Like, the whole place. It’s unbelievable.”

Even in the blue light, Doyoung sees Taeyong flush. “Oh, uh, I did. Drafted it up, had my interior designer friend help me with all of it.”

“Okay, I’m gonna that friend’s number. I want whatever magic they have,” Johnny says. Taeyong huffs out a laugh, and nods in agreement.

Jaehyun is looking at Taeyong’s equipment, not daring to touch any of them. “I got Johnny to listen to your music the other day because I had a feeling he’d like it. I swear, he hasn’t stopped talking about it since.”

Doyoung notices Taeyong flush a deeper shade. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Picking up a few albums from a stack, Johnny peers at them. “Oh wait, I don’t think I’ve listened to these ones.”

“Taeyong produced those,” Doyoung says. He walks over, picks up more from the stack to show the two. “He’s been working with a lot of companies, groups, musicians. These are all just from this year.”

Johnny mouths a  _ wow _ as he gently sets the albums down. “So it’s likely that I’ve heard your work already before?”

Setlling into his seat, Taeyong nods, smiles. “I’ve done a lot of things for a variety of people and companies. Parts of soundtracks, advertisement background music, product jingles, various artists with different genres, stuff for variety shows. Yeah, you’ve probably heard my work before, you just didn’t know it.”

Johnny seems to want to apologize, but Taeyong just sets his hand on his arm and gives a soft smile. “It’s okay. Stuff like that, I don’t really need everyone to know it was me.”

They all settle down to listen to Taeyong’s new EP. Doyoung even sets aside his phone and tablet, wanting his full attention on Taeyong and his music. It had always been important to Taeyong, and the same can be said for Doyoung.

He can’t quite see Taeyong’s expression as he plays the first track, but he knows that he’s nervous as it plays loud and clear over the speakers.

The very first word that comes to mind when Doyoung hears the first notes is  _ hope. _ Something light and warm that wraps around you, filling everything with a brightness that you wouldn’t have thought would exist. It makes Doyoung want to close his eyes and savor the feeling.

Taeyong’s voice comes, gentle in all the possible ways. He’s singing the words, words that have melancholy laced through them, but he sounds so achingly hopeful. Like he’s seeing past everything now, and he has something that keeps him going, keeps him steady.

It’s definitely different, at least from what Doyoung has heard over the years. Taeyong used to write about longing, of feelings that tore into him and left him raw. Even when the song didn’t quite sound like that, the lyrics told all of it. For a while, it had been kind of a signature thing, familiar to everyone who listened to and loved his music.

So this was new. Doyoung feels like his heart is simultaneously lifting and swelling with happiness. This was good, the hope and the light.

Both Jaehyun and Johnny stay silent, bopping their heads slightly to the track. They don’t really notice Taeyong watching their reactions, barely even allowing himself to smile when they seem to be enjoying it. Even as the song is about going on with life and feeling better, this was still very much a part of Taeyong, and this was baring it.

The next song has very much the same vibe, but even more upbeat. Doyoung can’t help the smile that starts to spread across his face. Hearing this was good, knowing that Taeyong was doing better was great.

He tries to think of when Taeyong had started to work on this. Although life was always changing and so was he, there must have been a particular time that inspired all of this. There must have been something that brought about this wave of positivity.

Actually, Taeyong had been doing pretty well in the past year or so. There was still a lot of healing and rebuilding to do, but he had already come so far. He had started to recognize his limits, in his craft and with himself. He didn’t push himself or guilt-trip himself into doing something because he felt like he should, for whatever reason there could be. Taeyong started to do more things for himself, not for anyone or anything else. Admittedly, he was still learning, but isn’t that what everyone does? Learn, and heal, and forgive. Taeyong did all of that.

Usually, Taeyong wouldn’t even listen to Doyoung say those things to him. Now, Doyoung has even more of a reason to say them.  _ You’re doing so well, Yongie, _ he wants to say.  _ I am proud, even if you don’t want to hear it. _

With the third track, Doyoung notices that the flush is back on Taeyong’s cheeks. He wonders what happened when he starts to listen to the song more attentively.

Oh. This one talks about a love, something he’s still afraid of. It’s new and blinding and warm, and he doesn’t seem to know what to do about it. He seems to want to run away from it, but hands keep him there, make him feel safe.

Doyoung looks at Jaehyun. He’s blinking slowly now, taking in both the lyrics and the melody. It’s still lighter than a lot of what Taeyong has done before, but this has a twinge of sadness and wariness at the edges.

Months ago, Jaehyun and Taeyong had met because of a photoshoot, hit it off there. Since then, there have been dates, gifts, photos. Jaehyun had even started to settle in the Lee residence, started to really integrate himself into Taeyong’s life. 

And Doyoung remembers that late night in a Milan hotel, where Taeyong said that he was so happy that it scared him. How Taeyong’s smile was brighter than he had seen it in a while. He was more than just happy, he was very likely willing to give his heart again.

So all of these things were new. The feelings, the smiles, the songs, the man who makes them coffee in the morning. It was all new, and Doyoung is yet to get used to it all.

Jaehyun seems to catch onto the meaning of the song as well, but he doesn’t comment on it. Most likely, he also sees how Taeyong seems even shyer about this particular track than the ones before it, and he doesn’t want to prod. Doyoung still holds his breath, though, wanting to see if Jaehyun would up and ask and how Taeyong would even respond.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Doyoung just observes Jaehyun. Undoubtedly, the man was attracted to Taeyong as well, but to what degree, Doyoung’s just not sure. He wants to believe that this is more than just a dating-because-why-not sort of thing. Jaehyun was already becoming an actual part of every day, and to have all of this amount to something more casual than Taeyong would have liked, it would be bad. Doyoung would much rather not see Taeyong go through another heartbreak when he thought he was happiest.

But this, god, he doesn’t knwo what to make of this. Jaehyun just doesn’t move as quickly as the others, who cemented the relationship not even more than three months into dating. It’s like he’s still trying to figure all of this out before diving in, to give them both time and space to learn about each other and get comfortable before anything else happened.

Doyoung thinks of their kiss on New Year’s before he can stop himself. That was surely a big red sign that said that he was absolutely interested, but Doyoung has been around enough men to know that that was not always a good indicator. Nothing was sure until both or either of them absolutely, positively confirmed it.

He tries his best not to think about what he had felt that night. Doyoung had long filed it away into him being protective, but he knew full well it felt different. This wasn’t just because he didn’t want Taeyong to get hurt, but he has yet to actually admit that.

The music ends, jarring Doyoung out of his thoughts. Jaehyun and Johnny applaud Taeyong, praising him for how good all of it was. Doyoung compliments him too, even though Taeyong will always say that he’s just biased. He’s not sure when Taeyong would ever believe that what he does is genuinely good, and that Doyoung is not just saying it because he works for him. Talent like his didn’t come around often.

“Oh, by the way, Johnny here is interested in producing his own music as well,” Jaehyun says, proudly clasping a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

Johnny tries to brush it off, but he has the beginnings of a shy smile on his lips. “You’re embarrassing me here, dude.”

They exchange looks, and Taeyong bursts out into laughter. He then gives his signature warm and encouraging grin, offering a hand. “Is that so?”

“Yeah…” Johnny looks genuinely abashed, which really doesn’t fit how intimidating he looks on a regular basis. “I’ve always had an interest in it, y’know? But I just never got the chance to pursue it.”

Taking Taeyong’s hand, he lets himself be pulled onto a little tufted stool beside Taeyong. Doyoung sees Taeyong’s eyes light up as he starts to talk about the process and his experiences, just as a little intro to Johnny.

He feels the couch he’s on dipping, and Jaehyun is beside him now. Jaehyun maintains a good distance, as he always does, but Doyoung can still smell the coffee on him.

“Do you get to listen to his work often?” he asks.

“I don’t get to listen usually if it’s not out yet.”

Jaehyun lets out a breath, his eyes on Taeyong once more. There, at the front of the room, the two are engaged in an animated conversation, one that will be hard to follow at this point. 

“He writes from experience, yeah?”

Doyoung twists his fingers together in his lap. He doesn’t turn to face Jaehyun when he nods. “Usually, yes. His writing is usually his real emotions, events and days he’s lived.”

The other man is silent for a while, taking that in. Doyoung hopes he doesn’t ask anything too close, because he really doesn’t have answers.

Scooting over closer, Jaehyun bumps his knee against Doyoung’s. “You must be really proud of him.”

That makes Doyoung whip his head around. That certainly wasn’t what he expected to hear.

“I - uh, yeah. Of course. I’m always proud of him.”

Jaehyun smiles, gentle and warm, as he looks straight into Doyoung’s eyes, before flicking his gaze over to where Taeyong is.

“I’m proud of him too. I know he’s pretty popular already, but I kind of want to show him off even more. Make the world know just how good he is, be it with music or just as a person.” He blinks, and his smile grows wider. Those dark eyes come back to Doyoung. “I think you feel the same, yeah?”

Doyoung doesn’t answer for a beat. He does hope that the world recognizes him more, but at the same time, where Taeyong was right now, it was more than enough. The world wasn’t all that kind, especially to whatever shined. He didn’t want to see whatever light Taeyong has gotten to dim out.

He nods, because that’s the only response he can give. Jaehyun looks pleased with that.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun says, and Doyoung has no idea why his name sounds different when he says it. “Tell me. Is it...is it normal to just look at someone and want everyone to know how happy they make you?”

Somehow, Doyoung registers his breath catch in his throat. Rather similar words from both of them, confided to him. He looks at Taeyong, and back at Jaehyun, whose eyes are on him, trying to communicate with a shared look.

Taking a deep breath, Doyoung answers.

“Of course. It’s nice to tell the world about your happiness. Freeing, I’ve heard.”

Jaehyun smiles, his dimples showing, and Doyoung sees him avert his gaze back to the person that makes him this happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school's started for me, so updates might take even longer, sorry! i won't be able to stay away from this though, i promise that
> 
> leave a kudos, comment, or bookmark if you like this! i appreciate each and every one <3
> 
> if you wanna talk : [twt](https://twitter.com/bundoie) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/bundoie)
> 
> (also yes i'm still crying about the markhyuck vlive what about it)


	10. day of hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i deserve another bonk on the head for how long this took hhhhh  
> but! i currently don't have fic deadlines anymore so i can write this more often (hopefully) i'll still come back to this no matter what, i really like writing this so ;;
> 
> i hope you enjoy this update! once again, i'm months ahead of the holiday lol

**Doyoung** **  
** **8:15 am,** **Lee Residence, UN Village**

“You have a what now?”

“A Valentine’s Day problem.”

He’s brought his tea to the garden, but it’s long gone cold now. Doyoung traces the logo on the glass cup. Jaehyun had prepared the tea for him this morning, like he usually does, but Doyoung’s been a little too preoccupied to pay much mind to it.

On the other end of the line, he hears Yeri scoff. “Don’t we all?”

“Well, this time I have three problems.”

“Which are?”

Taeyong’s new puppy, Bean, is sniffing through the freshly mowed grass. Doyoung stares at the puppy for a long moment. “One: Taeyong doesn’t have a Valentine’s anything planned yet.”

“Mmm, hold on.” He hears Yeri tell someone to place the flowers a certain way. “Okay, ‘m back. That one’s easy.”

“Yeah, I already got reservations for a nice little light show in town plus a restaurant.”

Yeri chuckles. “Of course you did. What’s the next problem?”

“Jaehyun doesn’t have anything planned either, so I have to worry about that too.” He’s tapping on his iPad, reading through the catalog for bouquets at the flower shop nearby.

“Since when did you become  _ his _ assistant?”

“I’m not, I’m just doing it out of courtesy.”

He can almost imagine how Yeri would look at him right at this moment. The line is silent for a solid few seconds, and he’s absolutely sure that Yeri is doing her best not to comment on that.

“Alright, you can handle that one too. What else is there?”

Doyoung scrunches his face, even though Yeri can’t see it. “It’s also Jaehyun’s birthday.”

The line is quiet again, before Yeri starts laughing. More of a cackle really. “Oh my god. The guy’s birthday is on  _ Valentine’s day?” _

“God, please don’t rub that fact into my face.”

“Well, what else should I do?”

Scowling, Doyoung slumps into his seat. “I didn’t even know Valentine’s day birthdays were a thing. Can they not be a thing?”

Yeri chuckles. “Are you just saying that because it’s him?”

Doyoung takes his cold tea in his hand, bringing it up to his mouth, and drinks. It really would’ve been better warm, but it’s his fault anyways. He exhales slowly, pressing fingers against his temple. Bean crosses over his feet, and he manages a little head scritch before he zooms away.

“Yeri, I’m having a headache right now, please do not aggravate it.”

“You have medicine in your pocket at all times anyways, shut up about this headache.” There’s the sound of her pushing her chair back, like she’s moving to stand up. Doyoung guesses she’s at Wendy’s office now, and is about to go out to pick up some things. “Besides, you’re bringing this upon yourself. You really don’t need to worry about the lack of preparation on Jaehyun’s part. He’s not  _ your _ boss.”

And she’s right, like she always is. Jaehyun is not Doyoung’s responsibility. Doyoung sighs, chewing on his bottom lip.

There’s some muffled talking on Yeri’s end, and he can tell that she’s requesting for something. When she returns to him, he can practically hear how he’s narrowing her eyes at him. “Look, you still have a whole day to sort this out. You’re Kim Doyoung, and you do this better than anyone out there.”

He’s about to protest, but Yeri keeps talking, probably sensing what he wants to do.

“And I know you’re having a crisis right now with Mr. Perfect, but he’s just a man. You’ve solved greater problems than men, honey.”

It makes him smile, some of the tension in his shoulders melting away. “Okay.”

“Kind of a weak response, but I’ll take it.” If he could see her, he knows she’d be smiling at him. “You can do this.”

He nods, and it’s mostly for himself. Doyoung knows he can, he just needs to slap himself a few times. Finishing the last of his tea, he straightens his back. It helps, he knows.

“Thank you, Yeri,” he says. He really is thankful. Nobody’s going to whip him into some decent shape if not for her.

“No probs, bun. Also, I know you’re on the Te Amo Flowers site right now. Pick the  _ Walk With Me _ one. It’s not trying too hard.”

Doyoung laughs. Of course she knew he’d be on that site. He thanks her again, and ends the call.

Putting down his phone, he takes in a deep breath. Fingers tapping on the screen, he checks out the lush bouquet of hydrangeas and roses. He has a day, it’ll be more than fine.

"I'm a little rusty with this."

Doyoung chuckles softly. "I can see that."

They're at one of the gift shops nearby, looking through all of the shelves of plushies. Jaehyun looks at each one carefully, as if assessing if they're good enough for the special day.

Now, Doyoung knows that Valentine's isn't even an actual special day. It's one of those made-up things so that people have an excuse to go and buy things and spend on expensive food. Really, a day marketed to increase candy and flower sales.

He has even more cause to dislike it, as it's one of those days that he's either busiest or the most stressed, for a variety of reasons. It could be as simple as his boss forgot that it was Valentine's and has absolutely nothing planned, to something like having to deal with his boss being seen going into a love hotel with someone who is very clearly not his wife. So yeah, of the 365 days in a year, it might just be his least favorite.

But, admittedly, it's not  _ terrible. _ Overrated maybe, but not terrible. Everything's cute around this time, with cutouts of hearts plastered on store windows and vibrant flowers in every possible corner. It constantly smells of sugar wherever he goes, and he doesn't quite mind that. There's something in the air, maybe love, maybe pre-proposal anticipation, maybe sugar-induced happiness, maybe post-orgasm bliss. Whatever it is, it's a relatively nice thing.

So even though the dangly plastic heart decorations in this store keep hitting him in the face, he has decided that he doesn't want to make himself feel bad about today.

"He likes plushies?"

Doyoung hums, running his hand over the softness of the teddy bears. "Taeyong doesn't collect a lot of them, but he loves all of the ones that he has. Kept them for years, actually."

Nodding, Jaehyun goes back to perusing. It's a rather large store, and they can get everything from a tiny porcupine toy that can fit in a hand, to a teddy bear larger than either of them. Doyoung wonders how many have actually tried to get that big of a plushie into a car.

"And you?" Jaehyun picks up a bunny plush in soft pink. It flops in his hands. "Are you into plushies too?"

"...Yes." Doyoung thinks back to his small collection on his bed, the ones that he boops before he goes to sleep. "I do like them."

He's not sure why Jaehyun's asking, but it's not like he ever truly figured him out.

This was their first stop for the afternoon. Afterwards, if they manage to fit whatever they got into the car, they'll proceed to the patisserie about a 15 minute drive away. Jaehyun had opted to do something simple for Valentine's, mostly because there really wasn't time for anything else.

Once they're done with this, Doyoung has to go over some plans with Taeyong. They were for the little surprise they're doing for Jaehyun, a last-minute but undoubtedly nice gesture. It was the guy's birthday, after all.

"You were a bunny at Halloween, right?" The plushie still flops in his hands. "You sent the photo."

Doyoung winces. God, he barely remembers sending that, just a quick shot of him entering the party. Jaehyun had just wanted to see his costume, and Doyoung was bored enough to do just that.

He only nods as a reply, walking further into the aisle. He now remembers where their conversation ended that night, when he's long tried to forget it.

Jaehyun had acted like he knew him, like he knew whether or not Doyoung rested. It had ticked him off then, and the memory still makes him grind down on his teeth.

Of course he can take care of himself. His whole job is knowing how to handle people, he surely knows how to handle himself.

To his chagrin, it doesn't seem like Jaehyun recalls, or particularly cares that he's made him think back to that. Doyoung only digs his nails into his palm and follows him.

It had been about a week since Jaehyun had moved into his own apartment in the city. That had been some sort of relief, but it was short-lived, as he kept coming over anyways. He'd make Doyoung his tea, talking to him about whatever he can think of as they waited for Taeyong to wake up. And after meetings and the recipe tests that seem to occupy his work days, he'd slide into the seat next to Taeyong's at the café and smile and nod along to their conversation. He's become even more of a constant, and Doyoung finds himself trying not to be annoyed at the fact.

After all, it's not like Jaehyun's a horrible person. He simply can't stand him, in all his dimpled-smile-perfection making breakfast for all of them. Jaehyun, and his little nuggets of wise words that he seems to pluck from out of nowhere that seems to entrance everyone around him, Taeyong included. Jaehyun, and the way that he unfailingly brings them gifts, from edible arrangements to art he's gotten from sought-after artists. Jaehyun, and the way that all the dogs like him almost immediately. God, even Mrs. Cho is growing suspicious of him.

Understandable, really. No one is allowed to be on Jung Jaehyun's level of irritatingly perfect. He's nice, he's smart, he's funny, he can sing (a discovery that Doyoung wishes he could forget), he has THAT face. Plus, birthday on Valentine's? It's unfair. That's it. It's just so ridiculously unfair.

But like February 14th, he’s not terrible. Doyoung can’t hate him, especially not when he doesn’t seem to do wrong, really. He’s good, in that way that he is, and disliking him isn’t going to do anything.

Doyoung wants to hate him though, even just a little bit.

There’s a plushie made to look like a giant piece of cake, and it makes the corners of Doyoung’s mouth tug up. He picks it up, waves it. “Taeyong would like this one.”

Jaehyun’s eyes light up, and he’s coming over. The plushie makes him smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Doyoung watches as he hugs it to himself, eyes scanning the rest of the pile for other dessert-themed plushies. He supposes that Jaehyun knows Taeyong’s taste in sweets by now.

That’s the thing. He can’t really hate him if he cares this much about Taeyong, makes him happier than anyone else has been able to in a while. He just can’t.

At the counter, Jaehyun pays for the cake plushie, as well as the pink bunny. “As thanks for coming with me,” he tells Doyoung, with that smile of his present on his face.

That bunny joins the others on Doyoung’s bed. It sticks out from the grays and blues of his room, so naturally, he can’t help but look at it.

Doyoung really, really wants to hate Jung Jaehyun. It would be easier that way.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **9:30 am,** **Dreamie Dorm, Samseong-dong**

Jungwoo has just pressed the button on the coffee machine in the dorm (brand new, bought during one of Jaemin’s dives into the home appliance side of online shopping) when he hears the front door close. There’s some shuffling, and soon enough, Donghyuck comes into view, lugging a box.

“Hyuckie?”

That makes Donghyuck whip his head around to face him, eyes wide. Looks like he wasn’t expecting Jungwoo to be there already, and to catch him in the act. Whatever “the act” is.

“I–I just got a package–”

Leaning back against the counter, Jungwoo cradles his mug with his hands. “I can see that. You’re not this nervous about just a package.”

He sees Donghyuck’s fingers twitch against the box, before he sighs and lets his shoulders fall. Pursing his lips, Donghyuck makes his way into the kitchen, setting the box gently down on the kitchen island.

For a long moment, Donghyuck just stares at the box, like he can magically make it disappear. He can’t, of course, so he presses his lips into a line.

“Please don’t tell anyone.” It’s the quietest voice Jungwoo has heard from him, and it makes his eyebrows raise slightly. “It’s supposed to be a secret.”

“I can keep secrets.”

Donghyuck looks up, regards him with slightly narrowed eyes. A beat passes, and he sighs again. “Okay, okay. Can you hand me a knife, hyung?”

Opening a drawer, Jungwoo takes out one of those knives that they’ve shoved into there because they weren’t as effective in cutting food anymore. He holds the box steady as Donghyuck slices the packaging tape swiftly. He opens the flaps, reaching into the box.

Out comes a slightly smaller box, made for shoes. Jungwoo runs his fingers over the logo while Donghyuck takes out the other item, something softer and wrapped in plastic.

“A hoodie and shoes,” he explains. Donghyuck turns over the plastic bag to look for where he can open it. “I, uh, thought they would look nice on him.”

Carefully, Jungwoo opens the shoebox, peeling back the tissue paper to reveal an undoubtedly expensive pair of sneakers. “Are you going to tell me who it’s for or…?”

Donghyuck doesn’t answer for a while. He only opens the plastic bag, takes out the oversized hoodie. Jungwoo thinks he’s seen that brand before, but he’s not quite sure where. When he reaches out to touch it, the material feels soft and heavy under his fingertips.

“...You’ll see him wear it,” is the reply he gets.

Looking up at him, Jungwoo examines his face. Donghyuck isn’t flushed or anything, but he’s definitely choosing not to talk much about this.

He’ll see him wear it, which means it’s most likely one of the members. He’s seen them be close, but he hasn’t seen enough to guess who this might be for. 

It’s kind of cute to see Donghyuck doing this. He’s a bit like a teenager trying to secretly give his crush a Valentine’s gift, and he’s become all shy about this. Jungwoo hasn’t seen him like this before, and he’s quite amused by it.

“Okay. Go hide it before anyone sees,” he tells him, sipping on his coffee again.

The boy seems a little taken aback by this. “That’s it? You won’t...won’t ask me more about it? Like if it’s for Valentine’s or something?”

Jungwoo shrugs. “That’s your business, not mine. Whatever reason you have for doing this, I respect it.”

Exhaling slowly, Donghyuck looks like he doesn’t quite believe it. Jungwoo puts down his mug and moves to help him pack the items back into the box. 

Once he’s closed the flaps again and put the knife back into the drawer, Donghyuck speaks up. “Thank you, hyung.”

It’s quiet and soft and sincere, and it makes Jungwoo smile. He guesses that Donghyuck isn’t granted a lot of opportunities to keep something like this secret, what with being an idol and also having members that are naturally curious about this sort of thing. Jungwoo can’t keep absolutely all of the secrets, but he’ll try his best with this one.

“Go, Hyuckie, before anyone else wakes up,” he says, patting him on the back. Donghyuck gives him a small smile before walking briskly to his room.

Bless that kid, honestly.

They have to do a Vlive for Valentine’s Day today. It really was just snuck into their already packed schedules, but as the fans were waiting for the tour as well as the comeback, it was important that they still had content.

Mark is put in a soft navy blue sweater today, the stylist securing a beret on his head. He scrunches his nose when the little hairpins poke at him, and he lets the makeup artist tilt his face to adjust the makeup on him. Jungwoo is standing to the side, reading the brief on the concept of the white day video they’re also going to shoot today. A lot of things are going to be done in advance, and they have to stay on top of every schedule possible. 

They were already going to start filming the music video tomorrow, and then the track videos the following days. After all of that, the practice for the tour would really begin. Even Jungwoo’s winded at everything happening.

When the stylist moves away from Mark to attend to another member, Jungwoo drags a chair close. He hands Mark his drink and his phone, watching as the idol flinches with the taste of the coffee.

“I tried to get it as sweet as possible without making it into sludge,” Jungwoo tells him. Nodding, Mark keeps sipping at the drink.

“Thanks, hyung. Can you run me through the concept for today?”

“Of course.” Jungwoo pulls up the document. “You’re going to be decorating Valentine’s themed sweets today. So cakes, cookies, stuff like that. Then everyone’s going to choose a winner by the end.”

Mark’s twisted his lips into a frown. “I’m not good at decorating.”

Reaching out to pat his shoulder, Jungwoo assures him that he’ll do fine. Internally, he’s not sure about that, but he knows Mark will do his best.

The set is rather pretty, done up in pastel colors. No hearts everywhere, just copious amounts of flowers and soft, dreamy fabrics. It reminds him of that LieV they had some time ago, which looked like it was set directly in the clouds. Jungwoo’s yet to see the set for the White Day shoot, but he thinks this is his favorite video set so far.

He settles into a seat in between two of the cameras, flipping through the general script for today. Seulgi is giving some last reminders to the group while the filming setup is adjusted and tested. They were going to start in about 15 minutes, and the Dreamies are getting settled into their seats.

Everyone’s really adorable today, and Jungwoo wants to take a thousand photos of this styling. It’s been quite some time since they were done up in anything that didn’t have chains or some form of black fabric, so this was refreshing to see. He can see that even the members aren’t used to this anymore, running their hands over the fluffy sweaters and looking excited about their accessories.

The live begins with everyone introducing themselves, and then Mark and Renjun talking about the concept of the live today. As they’re speaking, Jungwoo scrolls through all the comments pouring in. There’s a separate screen where the group can read the comments, but that’s for later.

Donghyuck clasps his hands together and says that they’re going to begin now. There’s a variety of pastries on the table, from cakes to cookies to macarons to pre-formed cake balls to brownies. There are also bowls and bowls of candy, sprinkles, and multi-colored icing so they can decorate everything however they want. Mark lets everyone take a pastry for themselves before getting one, left with the heart-shaped sugar cookies.

“Okay, let’s read questions!” Jeno says, leaning forward to read better. “That one asks who’s the best at this and who’s the worst.”

“Ah, Renjun’s definitely the best,” Chenle remarks, piping blue icing onto his mini cake. “He’s good at art.”

“And Mark-hyung’s the worst,” Donghyuck teases, leaning forward so he can smile at Mark from the other end of the table. 

Mark laughs and shakes his head, not wanting to refute that. He’s trying to figure out how to use the piping bag for the icing, and Jaemin has to help him out. He’s already wincing before he attempts to put icing on the cookie. “I’m trying!”

“Mark-hyung’s great at trying.”

While Jisung empties a bowl of sprinkles onto his own cake, Renjun reads out another question. That one’s asking for a spoiler, and Renjun’s trying his best not to smile. He sits back, presses his lips together, and glances around. Everyone’s just focused on their work, pointedly avoiding the question. Good thing that he’s seated beside Chenle, because he shoots the younger boy a warning look when Chenle seems to want to say something. Laughing, the younger boy goes back to pressing sugar flowers onto his cake.

After a few moments, Mark speaks up. “It’s a very fun album. We really enjoyed making this one, please do enjoy it!”

Everyone claps their gloved hands together, and Renjun gives Chenle another look. They all go back to their desserts, only to whip their heads when Donghyuck starts singing a snippet. He’s nearly shoved off his chair, and he’s laughing all the way.

All the desserts are kind of a mess when they’re finished, but it’s honestly charming. They do a quick capture time with their works, and Jungwoo snaps a few photos of his own. He might as well, since some of them are starting to munch down on their creations. 

As they’re all debating on who has won for best dessert, Jisung has resigned himself to reading the comments. A lot of them are asking for more spoilers, and Jisung only makes a face at them. He shows off his cake, with its pink sprinkles and the macarons he stuck to the side, asking the viewers if they think it’s pretty.

They don’t really decide on a winner, and just let the fans decide. Jungwoo scrolls through the flood of different names, smiling at how a good chunk of them seems to come to a consensus that Donghyuck’s won this round with his little drawings on the macarons.

The live ends with them all waving to the cameras, saying that they hope to see them soon for the comeback and the tours. Once it officially ends, they settle back into their seats, and Seulgi allows them to eat the desserts. They can’t eat too much though, with the impending sugar crash not advisable with how they have another video to film.

Later, when they’re done with everything and it’s time to go home, Jungwoo ushers them all into the van. Everyone’s sleepy and hungry, and Jungwoo promises that they’ll come home to a nice dinner. He gets some grumbles, and he pats them all fondly as they go in.

Last to get in is Jeno, and it’s dark in the parking lot, but Jungwoo recognizes the hoodie he’s wearing.

**Doyoung** **  
** **2:45 pm, Sulwhasoo Balance Spa, Gangnam-gu**

Yeri smiles brilliantly at the receptionist. “Reservation for Kim Yerim, please.”

They’re a little early for their appointment. Doyoung chews on his bottom lip as the receptionist talks Yeri through the package that she got before they proceeded. For now, he looks around, taking in the posh interiors.

He hasn’t been here before, truthfully. Taeyong already had a favorite spa that he frequented, and even then, he didn’t normally go. Doyoung wasn’t much of a spa person himself, but he has enjoyed what few experiences he’s had. 

Now this place, it wasn’t like the spas he’s been to before. It’s a large, multi-level building, and it feels more like a chic department store. There were the Sulhwasoo products at the first floor boutique, and Yeri’s already promising to get him a consultation for skincare products at the end of their spa session. They’re currently 3 floors up, where the spa is. It’s all sleek lines and gorgeous wood, and it makes him think back to some hotels they’ve stayed at.

This whole thing was Yeri’s idea of a Valentine’s day treat. She reasoned that since they were both single anyways, they might as well enjoy some me time, something that they don’t get a lot of. Doyoung had agreed, mostly because he didn’t want to spend another Valentine’s curled up on Taeyong’s couch flicking through the shows on Netflix.

A smiling woman approaches them to lead them to their treatment room. Doyoung holds out his elbow, and Yeri links her arm through it. 

“I promise, this is one of the best spas out there,” she says. “I have the VIP card, so we can get refreshments later.”

“This is a lot,” Doyoung remarks, but he does feel excited about this whole thing.

Yeri gives him a light slap on the arm. “Come on. We deserve it. We don’t have any off days at all.”

Smiling at her, Doyoung keeps walking. Yeah, they do deserve this bit of indulgence.

The treatment room is breathtaking, with floor-to-ceiling windows with a view of the park. It’s all a lush green, so clear it’s almost like he can reach out to touch the tops of the trees. Soft music is playing, and he already feels himself start to feel more relaxed.

Halfway into their massages, Yeri turns her head towards him, but doesn’t bother opening her eyes. “How’s Valentine boy?”

Doyoung tries to snort, but it comes out as a sigh. “They’re at the today-only ballet at the Sejong center.”

“Oh my god, you got them tickets to  _ that?” _

Humming, Doyoung closes his eyes too, sinking into the feeling. “Yeah. You know how much Taeyong loves dance, and Jaehyun likes all forms of art. It was a perfect thing for them to do.”

“And the surprise?”

The masseuse presses down on a particular tense spot on Doyoung, and he lets out a pleased sound. “Everything’s in place already. Remember Taeil, the event planner?”

“You’re telling me you got  _ the _ Moon Taeil too?”

Doyoung shrugs the best that he can. “Taeyong wanted only the best.”

“God, I’d do a lot to be the one that Taeyong is in love with.” Even though Doyoung can’t see, he’s sure that Yeri is pouting. The mental image makes him laugh.

“Valentine boy’s lucky,” he muses quietly. The masseuse has him turn around, so he complies. What feels like magical hands go over the tension on his shoulders. 

He thinks that Yeri must have fallen asleep because there’s no reply. That’s rarely, if ever, the case, but he allows the few moments of quiet. Doyoung’s done enough thinking and talking about the man, he really doesn’t want to do that for the entirety of this nice time they’re having. Everything’s already in place, and it was going well. He didn’t have to worry about things.

Doyoung relaxes into the treatment, enough to drift into sleep. It’s the first time in a while he feels actual peace before he falls asleep, and he isn’t all that used to the feeling anymore.

There’s no actual dream, just a comforting lull. He periodically gains consciousness as the treatments change, but he’s happy to be out for the most of it. The last time he’s done this, well, he barely even remembers.

While everything for the facials are prepared, they’re given cups of tea. They both thank the staff, cradling the fine china in their hands as they take little sips. The tea here is a house blend, carefully selected and beautifully fragrant, and it feels just like the experience so far: soothing and fresh. When Doyoung turns, he sees Yeri smiling beatifically at the lady massaging her hand.

“We should do this more often,” she remarks, her voice dreamy and laced with sleep. “We should totally just take spa days and talk about all our love problems.”

Doyoung drinks more of his tea. “We weren’t talking about our love problems.”

Yeri gives him a pointed look, but it’s soft around the edges. “Not yet.”

“Why do you want to talk about it anyways?” He sets the teacup down on a nearby table. There’s a flyer there, and he skims over the content idly. 

“Well, I haven’t even heard a single thing about you and your dating, if you even date.” She sounds more awake now, perked up at the prospect of getting gossip. “And what, we’ve known each other for the better part of 5 years? I think that’s way too long.”

“You don’t hear anything because I don’t date.” He’s gently eased down into position, and whatever’s applied to his skin is pleasantly cool. Taking a deep breath, he lets himself be pampered. “Just not my thing.”

He can sense movement on Yeri’s side, and he supposes that she’s prepared for the facial as well. “Yeah, exactly. It’s not your thing, and yet you’re so riled up over Valentine boy.”

Doyoung’s thankful for the excuse that he really shouldn’t be talking much at this part. He turns over Yeri’s words in his head, trying to form a response for that. After all, it’s not like he can deny that he does in fact get riled up over him, no matter how unnoticeable it is to everyone but Yeri.

And it’s true, he really hasn’t been like this with anyone else. Annoyed at people that really are annoying, but not like this. He’s annoyed with Jaehyun for completely different reasons, and although he acknowledges them, he’s not going to give Yeri the satisfaction of admitting them out loud.

Honestly, he’s also annoyed at himself for this. How come Jaehyun was always an exception, how come he has him seething like this? God, it wasn’t good, and he really knew it.

It still stands, though. He doesn’t date. Hasn’t in a while, and he doubts he will any time soon. Doyoung has seen every possible way it could go wrong, and it’s something that, even if he understands the appeal of dating, he’s just not keen on doing it.

“Relationships are too much,” he says simply. He could get into it, of course, but he’d rather focus on the soothing circles being rubbed into his skin.

“That’s true, and yet you’ve made a good number of other people’s relationships work before. Why not yours?”

He doesn’t answer, and he hopes that Yeri drops it for the meantime. Thankfully, she does, caught up in the treatments.

Later, when they’re dressed and sitting in the VIP lounge, Yeri looks at him like she’s trying to understand. Undoubtedly, she gets him more than most, but now she’s confused.

Doyoung is confused too, and he’ll admit that. Everything is confusing, and it’s not like he can get answers.

As they get their tea and cookies, he thinks she’ll tell him to be careful. Because, if anything, he should tread carefully about this sort of thing. It isn’t like he can up and decide to date. It’s not like he can have an actual option in this.

Instead, Yeri just squeezes his knee. She looks into his eyes, searching for one last thing, before she says, “I trust you.”

His first reaction is to furrow his brows, wanting to ask what she trusts him for. But Doyoung sees Yeri’s tight-lipped smile, sees the absolute sincerity in her eyes, and he understands.

Still, he thinks he really shouldn’t put that sort of trust in him right now.

It’s rather late when he gets back to Taeyong’s house. He knows that the surprise party has ended, but it’s likely that they lingered anyways. The spa session did him well, he thinks, even though the peace and quiet (and Yeri’s questions) had him thinking about a lot of things. Still, he feels refreshed, and he knows he’ll sleep very well tonight.

He unlocks the door, flicks on the lights. None of the dogs come up to greet him, and maybe that’s for the best. He really didn’t want to wake up Mrs. Cho right now.

Doyoung drops his keys into the catch-all caddy by the door, and he toes off his shoes. He has bags of skin care and tea from the spa, and he really should put them away properly even though his bed is already calling to him.

Padding barefoot, he makes his way to the kitchen. He takes out the tins of tea, gorgeously stamped and fragrant even though they’re sealed. As he opens up their cupboards, he hears a door open.

“Ah, sorry Mrs. Cho, I didn’t mean to wake you–”

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a form walk over to the kitchen island. When he turns, he sees that it’s not their house helper.

“Taeyong?”

With a small smile, Taeyong hoists himself up on one of the bar stools. He’s already in his pajamas, a worn set that Doyoung has to remember to replace. “Hi, Doyoung.”

“You’re–you’re back.” He looks at the clock on the wall. It’s barely been an hour since the party ended.

“Didn’t expect it?” Taeyong pushes his glasses up his nose. His eyes look even bigger behind them. “It uh, ended a little earlier than planned.”

Furrowing his brows, Doyoung sets down the tins in his hands. He leans against the countertop, getting himself to eye level with Taeyong. Doyoung feels more awake now than he has all day, trying to comprehend.

“Did...something happen?” God, he hadn’t received any updates about that, and he thought that everything was running smoothly. He even had the best possible people there for it all, he coordinated everything, he –

Taeyong shakes his head, same smile on his face. “I was just tired, is all. Long day and everything.”

For a few long beats, Doyoung just studies him. Maybe it’s the faint light, but Taeyong doesn’t seem like he’s glowing. The past few weeks had been busy, yes, but there’s something other than exhaustion in his features. Doyoung would know.

“Taeyongie,” he says, as softly as he can. “What’s wrong?”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Taeyong looks away. “Can we sit down properly?”

With a nod, Doyoung follows him to the living room. They settle on the couch, Taeyong’s feet pressed up against Doyoung’s calves.

He waits, because that’s always been important between the both of them. Taeyong will say whatever he needs to say, in time.

Like this, Taeyong looks even softer. There is moonlight and the glow from one of the lamps on his frame. He’s tucked his knees to his chest, in that way he does when he’s thinking about a lot of things at once. His hair is already mussed up a good amount, so Doyoung guesses that he’s lied down for a while already.

“All of it was great, by the way. We really enjoyed.” He looks up, and his expression is so open and yet Doyoung can’t quite understand. “Thank you, Doyoungie.”

“But something’s wrong,” he supplements.

He watches as Taeyong’s face falls in the slightest. It really must be all these years in the industry, his expression can be infallible if he wanted it to be. Doyoung wonders why he wants it to be when it’s just him here.

Taeyong twists the drawstrings of his pajama bottoms around his fingers. “I…” He shakes his head, closes his eyes. “I’m not sure what I feel right now.”

“You don’t have to be sure. You have time to figure it out,” Doyoung assures.

“It’s not that.” Taeyong looks out the window, like he’s going to find some form of strength there to continue. “I mean, I don’t know what I feel about Jaehyun right now.”

His voice is laced with guilt at the admission. Doyoung wraps his coat tighter around himself.

This was new. He hadn’t even noticed any change in the way that Taeyong had been around Jaehyun, so he’s not even sure what brought this about. Far as he knew, Taeyong was still very much whipped for the guy, and Jaehyun was the same about him. God, Taeyong had even been so excited about tonight’s party.

But apparently, Doyoung doesn’t know as much as he thought he did.

“Do you...want to talk about it?”

He knows that this isn’t easy. Taeyong has gone for a while without dating, and he has found a little bit of happiness with Jaehyun. It was obviously becoming more serious the more time went by, and that must have been scary to him somehow. It’s not easy to go back to how things were after his previous relationship. Doyoung knows that talking about this won’t be easy.

Taeyong presses his feet against him. “I want to, but I don’t understand how I feel enough to be able to do it.”

“You don’t have to do it now.” Doyoung instinctively wants to reach out to him, but he also wants Taeyong to decide if he needs that sort of comfort right now.

Pressing his fingertips to his eyes, Taeyong lets out a whine. “I feel so bad, you know? Jaehyun just wants this to work, and I do too, but I just...I just can’t do this right now.”

“I get that.”

And he does. He can see just how much the both of them tried for this. They weren’t always together, but it worked, in the way that only they could pull off. It was nice to see, if Doyoung were to be honest. There was respect and care in how they were, and that was so much better than a lot of the other relationships Doyoung’s witnessed.

With a shake of his head, Taeyong drops his hands. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair on him, who is genuinely interested in me and cares about me and–” He sighs, his shoulders slumping. “It’s not fair on me. I was happy, I was enjoying having him around, and then here I am with all my thoughts and I fucking hate it!”

Doyoung sits up, patting Taeyong’s leg comfortingly. “Don’t blame yourself. This whole thing isn’t a piece of cake.”

The producer looks up at him with hopeless eyes. “Doyoung-ah. I want this to work. I want it to work so bad. And I know I did a whole thing about how I don’t need to have anyone in my life like that, but I like having him here. I don’t wanna ruin it.”

He opens his arms, wide enough. Taeyong stares at him for a long moment before shifting to nestle into them. Carefully, Doyoung cards his hands through the dyed hair.

“This isn’t ruining it,” he says softly. “This is you being honest to yourself. You can’t go into this thinking that everything will be perfect. Realizing that, realizing that you feel this way, it’s important.”

It’s a little harsh, he knows, but Taeyong has long requested that he be honest about this. He said that it would help him if people didn’t sugarcoat things, especially when it came to important relationships. This is how he’s avoided getting into relationships that just wouldn’t be good for him, and he’s all the better for it.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” he tells Doyoung. His voice is quiet, but steady. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

Doyoung nods, even though Taeyong can’t quite see. “You don’t deserve to force yourself with something you’re unsure of.”

He feels Taeyong nod against him. Taeyong takes a deep breath, as if to steel himself.

“Maybe I should sleep on this, yeah?”

Doyoung agrees with that. Maybe this really was stress, but even if it wasn’t, it’d be best if Taeyong approached it with a clear head in the morning. He loosens his embrace, allowing Taeyong to leave when he wants to.

But Taeyong doesn’t leave, at least not yet. So Doyoung cards his fingers gently through his hair, and wishes that even for tonight, his thoughts will quiet down.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **8:30 pm, Myeongdong Sundubu**

“Sorry this isn’t 5-star or anything.”

Lucas’s smile peeks out from under his scarf. “It doesn’t need to be.”

They’re tucked into one of the remaining tables of the place, which is packed with people no matter the day. It’s one of Jungwoo’s go-to places for a comforting fix, and he’s already memorized the best times to get here and acquire seats. They were able to squeeze in, the warmth of the restaurant pleasant on their cheeks.

He had just taken the Dreamies back to the dorm after the first day of filming for the music video. Truthfully, he’s running on about 3 hours of sleep, max, and he can’t be sure that Lucas didn’t have to carry him to here. They’re going to have another early day tomorrow, so his mental clock is ticking. He should at least try to get some semblance of sleep tonight.

Gently, Lucas unwinds his scarf from his face, folding it and placing it onto his lap. He’s come from a special Valentine’s event by Balenciaga, and his makeup is still mostly pristine, but his hair has long been mussed up. His eyes are wide and curious as he looks around the place.

“First time here, then?” Jungwoo takes a sip of his tea, letting it warm him. 

Nodding, Lucas wraps his hands around the teacup. “Yeah. We usually just get takeout or go to the handful of places that we do know.”

“Well, I hope your first experience here is good.”

Jungwoo guesses that they won’t be talking very much tonight. The both of them are tired from their long days, and really just wanted dinner that was real food before they inevitably crash into their beds for the night. He doesn’t think this is going to become romantic at any point in the evening.

Still, it’s nice to have this little moment to themselves. Just them, some soup, and their short conversations. It’s good, he believes this.

When their soup arrives, he feels himself giggle at how Lucas’s eyes light up. He knows there must be some sort of fancy lunch at the event that Lucas went to, but he also knows that it must not have been that substantial. Jungwoo is already thinking about ordering him another bowl.

He teaches him how to eat it, by first cracking a fresh egg into the soup and mixing it in while it’s hot. Lucas takes his first sip, nearly melting at it. 

“Good?” he asks, scooping rice into his own bowl.

Making a sound of affirmation, Lucas continues to dig in. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying it, losing all his usual poise. Jungwoo thinks that the soup here really is magic, then.

After a long while of them just eating and barley minding anything else, Lucas speaks up. “How’s everything?”

Jungwoo puts down his spoon, taking in a deep breath. “Busy, but everything’s going pretty well I guess. There’s another shoot for tomorrow.”

Wrinkling his nose, Lucas mixes what’s left of his rice into the soup. “Not to speak this into existence or anything, but somebody’s going to collapse from overexhaustion at some point during all of this.”

And the thing is, he’s most likely correct. Even the most experienced idol would have a difficult time handling a schedule like this. It was going to run the group and the staff ragged, and that was honestly a bad combination.

“Yeah.” He shakes his head, picking up a piece of jeon but ending up with putting it down into his bowl. “Hopefully it’s me and not them.”

He can feel Lucas’s gaze on him. “It’s not...good to wish that on yourself either.”

He’s right. Jungwoo did his best to keep himself healthy, never even letting himself get close to a collapse. After all, how could he deal with other people’s lives if he didn’t take care of himself?

Still, though. Better him than them. He doesn’t have a reputation to uphold like they do, doesn’t have what could be hundreds of thousands of fans that are waiting. If he fell sick, that would be his burden to bear and his alone. If any of the Dreamies got sick, they’d have to deal with a whole lot more, even though it really shouldn’t be that way.

Bringing the jeon up to his mouth, he takes a bite, chews thoughtfully. “I’m not sure any of this is… the right way to do things.”

Lucas blinks at him for a few long moments. “There’s nothing right about most, if not all, of the entertainment industry.”

Jungwoo sighs, leans back in his chair. He’s always known that, but this is the first time he’s really seen just how bad it could be.

“They’re currently the newest, and the best-selling group the company has. That usually means that they’ll be the one that’ll be milked for all they’re worth.”

“I just wish they weren’t rushed like this, at the very least. So much of this could have been foregone, but they really had them do everything. They say it’s for the promotion, but I don’t think it should be that much.”

There’s a sad, understanding smile on Lucas’s face. “You’re right about that.”

They finish their food and pay their bill, but Jungwoo feels like neither of them want to leave yet. Both of them are tired and ready to crash at any point, but leaving this little pocket of time away from everything will just remind them of everything that they have to do.

He feels Lucas tap his foot gently against his ankle. “I’m sorry Valentine’s day sucks like this.”

It makes him chuckle. “It’s not so bad. I’ve had worse.”

“Yeah? Care to share?”

Jungwoo taps his own foot against Lucas’s ankle. “Not tonight. If I have to think about disaster Valentine’s days I’ve had in the past, I’d probably have a migraine in the morning.

Lucas laughs, nodding. “Okay, okay. How about this: I’ll take you to this nice place I know of as a nightcap, and hopefully, it makes today better? As a thank you for the meal.”

When Jungwoo narrows his eyes at him, Lucas laughs louder. “No, it’s not like that!”

Shaking his head, Jungwoo stands up and wraps his scarf around himself. “Okay, okay. Where, then?”

“Do you  _ know _ what you’re doing?”

“I’m trying, okay!”

They’re biking through the park (or, well, as best as they can). Jungwoo’s on the tiny seat at the back, and Lucas is maneuvering the measly thing through the path. If they did this during the afternoon, Jungwoo is sure they’d have a good amount of people pointing and laughing at them.

And honestly, he’s not sure what the point of this whole thing is. He knows for a fact that this park doesn’t have the best view of the night sky, and that this place would be so much more enjoyable when they can actually see the greenery and the view better, but hey, it’s the thought, right?

At some point, Lucas gives up on trying to bike, so Jungwoo has him balance himself on his previous seat while he steers. It goes a little better, but this bike really isn’t for them.

“Is this an attempt to get as close to me as possible?” he asks as he goes around a dent in the road. Jungwoo thinks his brain has been jostled enough for tonight.

“And if it is?” Lucas’s voice doesn’t have as much of a smug lilt to it, probably because he’s holding on for his dear life. It makes Jungwoo laugh.

“There are better ways than  _ this, _ surely.”

Minus how mildly creepy this park is with its streetlights a little too far apart, it’s honestly nice at night. Not a whole lot of people, just the sound that you’d actually expect in a park, quiet and peaceful. They can see the city all lit up and beautiful, like stars closer to them. It’s chilly, especially since it’s February, but it’s a welcome feeling on his cheeks. It makes him want to grin wide, and close his eyes and savor it.

Lucas has him stop somewhere near the edge of the park. This part is surprisingly well-lit, but there’s no trace of anyone else here. He leans the bike against one of the trees, making sure it doesn’t topple over. Jungwoo takes the hand that Lucas stretches out to him, letting him lead him into the clearing.

From here, they have a spectacular view of the city. He can see so much of it, practically feel the thrum of it at his fingertips. It’s a clear night, and he can’t really see a lot of stars here, but it’s not so bad.

“I heard this was a popular choice for people wanting to propose,” he jokes. Lucas almost pushes him over the edge.

“I promise this isn’t a proposal.”

“Sure hope not, you haven’t even taken me out on a date yet.”

There’s a beat of silence before Lucas asks, “Do you want me to?”

This time, it’s Jungwoo who almost pushes him over the edge.

Once their giggles have subsided, he bumps shoulders with the model. “Why here?”

It’s a beautiful place, for sure. Quiet in that way that’s comforting, just the drone of insects and the distant sound of the life in the city. There are flowers bordering the sides of the cliff, pretty in the pale moonlight. He’s seen this in a lot of shows, has probably even set up a picnic for one of his bosses here. 

Still, he’s not sure why Lucas brought him here of all places, an undeniably romantic place while he doesn’t seem to actually want to make this about that sort of thing. The guy came off as flirty, yeah, but time with him has made Jungwoo realize he doesn’t move in the way that most people might expect him too. With all their joking earlier, Jungwoo is still sure that Lucas would at least attempt a few dates before doing this.

Lucas exhales slowly, shifting his gaze from the city lights to him. “I found this place one time, when I wanted to take a little break for myself. Screamed out everything here. It was...relieving.”

It clicks in Jungwoo’s mind. “You want us to scream out our frustrations here?”

Shrugging, Lucas looks back at the lights. “I promise it’s freeing. Keeping it in all the time isn’t going to help anyone, much less yourself.”

Jungwoo nods, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “You’re right.”

“I’ll start, okay? Just to get us all warmed up.”

He looks so sincere in how he says it, his entire expression brightening. Jungwoo wonders if he could ever handle seeing him not be this enthusiastic about the little things.

Lucas shakes his hands on his sides, rolling his neck like he’s preparing to fight. Jungwoo snorts, shaking his head. “I want to eat all the dessert I want!” he yells, loud, but not too disruptive.

He nudges Jungwoo to go on, and Jungwoo takes in a deep breath. “I - I want to have one day without any calls to answer!”

There’s an elbow to his ribs in the next moment, but it doesn’t push. “Hesitated a bit there. You need to say it with conviction.” Lucas clenches his fist to make his point, and Jungwoo just rolls his eyes at him, laughing.

“Like this, watch.” Lucas is bouncing on his heels, like he’s absolutely buzzing with excitement. “I want to stop doing appliance commercials!” He shouts, his voice cracking a bit.

Jungwoo follows up with a “I hate stupid fucking emails!” and Lucas is making a gesture with his hands to keep him going.

“Yeah! Shout out everything you hate!”

“I hate this fucking industry!” he gets out. His heart is beating fast, like he just ran, like he just let out his biggest secret to the world.

“I hate this fucking industry!” Lucas repeats, drawing out his words. Every bit of it sounds like it took all of his chest to say it.

Jungwoo glances at him, letting the corners of his mouth tilt up. “I hate Neo Ent,” he says, and it’s soft, hoarse.

Lucas meets his gaze, nods. His eyes sparkle. “We should say it together, yeah?”

It makes Jungwoo’s smile spread. They both turn to the city, and shout the words with everything they have. They sound broken, crazed maybe, and it feels good. Feels so fucking amazing to say it that loud, to let the night know just how much they feel those words. Again and again, they scream it into the air, and god, it’s the best feeling.

Then, Lucas starts saying everything he hates about the company, and Jungwoo does the same. It’s almost like it’s all punched out of him, and it hurts, but it’s nice to have it out. He doesn’t think about it too much anymore, just lets everything out. All the shit he’s put up with, all the things he wants to change, all the anger he feels in behalf of the group. 

It’s good, even when they can barely get air into their lungs anymore. It’s good, to nearly collapse onto their knees as they shout out everything. It’s good, to do this with him.

Later, when they regret it because both their throats hurt and they’re laughing through it, Jungwoo thinks this was possibly the best idea ever. Lucas bikes them back to where they came from, and Jungwoo holds onto his waist securely. He doesn’t even care about what this probably looks like, or how much his brain is going to be jostled yet again.

“Better?” Lucas rasps out, faint against the whip of the wind.

Jungwoo smiles up at him and nods. “Better,” he whispers, and he knows that Lucas hears.

So much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think of this one! and if you're still reading this, know that ily very much <333
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/bundoie) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/bundoie)


	11. a shift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this one didn't take 2 months that's progress!

**Jungwoo** **  
** **10:20 am, KSPO Dome**

“Alright, everyone take 10!”

Standing by one of the long tables, Jungwoo distributes the water bottles to everyone. Dream is practicing on the stage setup that’s been constructed just for them, figuring out formations and where to go when. It’s one of their many early morning practices leading up to the first concert date in Seoul. 

As everyone mills around talking to their directors or just slumping onto the floor, Jungwoo looks through the mockups for the stage design. Seulgi had forwarded them to him last night, as well as the photos of their stage outfits for this first concert date. There were a handful of last decisions to be made about everything before they were finalized, so Jungwoo has to review everything as carefully as he can.

It’s good that Ten’s here today. He’s mostly helping with the choreography for their songs and their positioning, but Ten can go pretty much anywhere. Like for example, peering at Jungwoo’s laptop screen.

“When are we seeing those in person?” he asks, sipping on his coffee. His tone implies that he has a couple of suggestions for the stage outfits, but he’s just not voicing them now.

“First try-on tomorrow. Email me the improvement points later, alright?”

Ten’s mouth curls into a smile. He tilts his drink so that the straw points towards Jungwoo. “You really get me, Woo.”

While Jungwoo goes back to looking through the photos, Ten perches himself on the edge of the table. He’s silent for a bit, probably looking over the members relaxing all over the mats. It’s the first time that he’s gone to a schedule like this in a while, and Jungwoo has a feeling that he misses the boys quite a lot.

“How are you, Jungwoo?” is how he breaks the silence. His ice cubes make noises against his plastic cup. 

Jungwoo doesn’t answer right away. He does have an answer, of course. It’s a practiced one, meant to be said in his most pleasant voice partnered with a neutral smile. Definitely the type of response that he uses with most of the staff here, managers included.

But this is Ten, and he’s one of the few that actually know that personal assistants aren’t robots.

“As...alright as I can be.” He sighs, resists the urge to swipe a hand through his hair. The very early morning didn’t give him much time to actually shower. “Which is not very much at this point.”

Sagely, Ten nods. “I don't think anybody's actually alright at this point in the preparations.”

Fingers pausing on his keyboard, Jungwoo closes his eyes, just for a moment. “That’s not very comforting to know.”

“But that’s the truth, honey.”

He turns, gives Ten a look that hopefully he can comprehend. Laughing, Ten reaches out a hand to squeeze his shoulder.

“Okay, look, there’s not a lot of comforting thoughts at this time. You’re going to be overwhelmed with everything that you have to help coordinate, and it’s just going to be a continuous thing all throughout the tour and what may be days, weeks after. There’s little to no actual rest during the entirety of it, for you and everyone here. Chances are, with everyone overtired, tensions will rise, and that’s gonna be a whole other problem on its own.”

“Gee, thanks. I think I’m gonna need an aspirin right now.”

Ten hits his arm with the back of a hand. “First of all, I think it’s fair that I warn you about how ugly this could get. It really is going to be a whole lot of shit packed together in a hotel that can’t possibly be big enough. Concert tours are truly a stressful time for pretty much everyone involved in the prep.”

Scowling, Jungwoo just goes back to his typing. He’s accepted this fate, and how he will very likely get unhealthy amounts of everything from caffeine to fast food to sleep deprivation during this tour.

“Second of all, I’m here to tell you you’re doing great.”

Jungwoo looks up, pausing once again in his typing. He’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it makes Ten’s soften.

The ice cubes are noisy against the sides of Ten’s cup when he shakes it. “I know that you have a whole lot of stuff to do still, and it feels like 24 hours in a day can’t possibly be enough for it all. I know that you most likely haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while. I know that you logically know that everything’s going to go well as long as you prepare for it accordingly, but you’re still so, so worried.”

He feels his hands clench ever so slightly where they rest on his keyboard. The words prickle at the flesh over his ribs.

Ten sighs, looking over at the members again. He’s the one that’s done this a good handful of times before, he’s the one that’s experienced all the good and bad of this situation. Things may be larger scale now, but so much of it remains the same. It’s draining, and it’s hectic, and it’s way too many things going on all at once. He's lived through all that, and to his credit, Jungwoo hasn't heard of any big mishap for any of those concerts.

Jungwoo wonders if he would ever consider working directly with them again. 

"But right now, I swear, you deserve to hear that you're doing amazing. No part of our job is actually easy, but this, coordinating with everyone for a whole concert tour? It's fucking insane. And yet, you're here, handling it better than anyone ever could. Better than me."

He knocks his knuckles against a knee at that. "I'm not going to be better than you."

A corner of his friend's mouth tilts up. "You will be, Woo. You absolutely will be."

Getting off of the table, he gives Jungwoo a reassuring back rub. Jungwoo sinks easily into the familiar touch, and he feels himself smile. 

"Proud of you honey. This industry's blessed to have you."

And then he's gone, wandering over to talk to their main choreographer. Ten, with all his ideas and his confidence and the way he seems absolutely nonplussed about everything, proud of Jungwoo.

It makes Jungwoo sit up a little straighter.

The sound of the doorbell echoes softly through the quiet dorm. Jungwoo's taken to sleeping over since he needs to be with them nearly all hours at this point. He already has a whole sleeping setup in Jeno's room, the only remaining room with ample space, and he was just about to crash for the night.

He pads over to the door, wondering who it could be. Both the group's managers have already settled in to sleep, he knows, so he's not sure if he needs to wake up either of them for this if ever it's an urgent matter.

Peering through the peephole, Jungwoo sees who it is. Carefully, he opens the door, doing his best not to make any noise.

"Lucas?" he whispers, letting the model in. Lucas is in his pajamas, a pair of fluffy slippers on his feet. "Everything alright?"

He doesn't speak until he's fully inside and Jungwoo's closed the door. It's only then that Jungwoo notices he's holding a canvas bag to himself.

"I know you're super tired and you probably wanna sleep, but can we hang out for a bit?"

Jungwoo snorts. "God, you make it sound like we're teenagers." He jerks his head towards the couch. "Sure. Let's hang out."

They settle into the plush couch, pulling all the throw pillows closer to them. Jungwoo offers to share the soft knit blanket that's eternally on that couch, but Lucas pulls out his own, along with an armful of snacks.

"I'm not supposed to be eating stuff like this this late, but I wanted to make an exception."

That makes Jungwoo chuckle. "And to what do I owe this honor?"

A corner of Lucas's mouth tilts up, and he shrugs. "I just make exceptions for you."

He hits him with the back of his hand. "Has that line worked on anyone?"

This time, Lucas laughs, muffling it to the best of his abilities with a hand. "No, and I was hoping it would on you."

"I give you clearance to try again next time."

Huddling together, they open one of the chip packets, taking handfuls of the cheesy junk food. Jungwoo is tempted to ask him why he's here exactly, but he find that he doesn't really care about the reasons.

It's nice to see the model again after what had been a busy couple of weeks. He had barely seen anyone outside of the concert prep team and the members, so it feels like seeing a fresh, new face.

And fresh, new face indeed. Lucas has taken off all his makeup, and his hair seems to have been washed free of any product. He just looks soft and so much younger than his years.

"I have a feeling this is a one-time thing before you get swept up in everything." Lucas winces slightly. He tucks his socked feet close to himself, and Jungwoo thinks this is the smallest he's seen him.

He pops back another small handful of chips. "You're probably right about that."

For a moment, he thinks that Lucas will ask him how he feels about the whole thing and he'd have to say that he's tired but he's fighting to do everything day by day, but then Lucas begins with, "Did I ever tell you about my hometown?"

Shaking his head, Jungwoo gets a pillow to hug to himself. There's a light in Lucas's eyes, one that he commonly sees when he's excited about something, but this time, it's a little brighter.

"I'm from Hong Kong. Spent my childhood there up until I was a little over 12. My family...we travelled a lot, but Hong Kong was home."

Jungwoo remembers a conversation from months ago, about how Lucas has been here since he was 13. It would be about 9 years since then.

"I don't think I fully grasped it back then, but Hong Kong is just a different experience, you know? Like, maybe I just didn't realize it since I was used to it, but things were faster there. I mean, Seoul's not too bad either, but Hong Kong is like a very energetic being. I doubt Hong Kong would be a place to sleep."

Smiling, Jungwoo tucks his feet close as well. He had been there a few times, mostly just for quick business trips with his bosses, and that had been enough to get a taste of what it was like. It was definitely more intense than anything here in Seoul, and being there felt like a rush that kept him bouncing on his toes.

"Even though it's like that, there were quiet moments." There's wistfulness in the model's features. He sighs softly, carding his fingers through the knots in the blanket. "Maybe living in a place like that really makes you appreciate those moments a little more."

Jungwoo sinks into the sofa, resting his head on the backrest. "What were those moments?" he asks gently.

For a few beats, Lucas looks down at his hands, twining his fingers together. "There was...there was this little bakery at our apartment building. Sold bread as early as 4 am on most days."

He smiles softly. "My mom would wake me and my brother up, and we'd go down to the bakery in our pajamas to buy bread. Barely anybody would be there, so it's like we had that little space to ourselves. Sometimes, my mom would get us a little cup of congee from them too, and we'd sip on it as we went back to our apartment."

He tries to think of tiny, bright-eyed Lucas cradling the cup of congee, yawning as he waits for their bread. Lucas, with his hand in his mother's, going down to the bakery in his cartoon pajamas. It's an image that Jungwoo would've loved to see.

"We took the bus to school usually. On rainy days, me and my brother would try to get dibs on the window seat, because both of us loved to trace the little paths that the raindrops made on the windows. We were one of the first stops, so normally it was just us at first, and we'd hum whatever song we'd absorbed from our dad blasting late 70s hits in the morning."

That one makes Jungwoo snort. He's had sort of a similar experience, with his parents playing whatever CD they unearthed or one of those that his dad got from his diving into the clearance section of stores. It may be the reason he's so into all sorts of music, having lived through every phase of music his parents had listened to.

He uses his foot to prod gently at Lucas. "Tell me more."

Lucas looks like he's excited to do just that. He sits up a little taller, and there's a faint glow to his cheeks.

"Hong Kong also has all these great parks!" His voice goes a little louder at that, so he tries to quiet down. "Sometimes, if I had extra money, I'd take the bus or the metro to go to one of the parks, whichever one I can afford to go to with my pocket money. I learned my way around the city like that, so it was great. Usually I'd just walk around with no real destination in mind, and it was just good to breathe in nature, right? I did that a lot then."

Jungwoo gives a nod. "That's why you took me to that park." It's not a question.

"Yeah." He presses his lips into a thin smile. "I've always loved places like that."

Drawing the blanket closer around himself, Jungwoo examines him for a long moment. There's still that light to him, so prominent even in the dim light.

"You miss home, don't you?" he asks quietly.

Ever so slightly, Lucas's smile falls. He tries to get it back, but it's not quite the same. He sighs, his shoulders slumping. Jungwoo sees him fiddle with the edge of the blanket.

"Yeah." His gaze is cast downwards, to the rumpled blanket in his lap. "Everyday. I mean, I try not to, because getting homesick isn't good, but...yeah."

Jungwoo nudges him again. "Hey. It's not bad to get homesick. It's valid to miss your home, don't feel bad about it."

Lucas offers a tiny smile. He looks at a point past Jungwoo, blinking slowly. Jungwoo guesses that he's looking out the window of the dorm. The curtains are closed, but he must know the view outside it pretty well. Lucas sighs.

"Missing it makes me want to go back, and I just can't right now. Also, I feel like my brother is tired of me calling and saying that I miss being there." He chuckles.

Even though he's probably trying not to show it, Lucas does look sad about not being able to go home. It obviously means a lot to him, and being away for that long would have taken its toll. Jungwoo gets up, reaches over to squeeze his knee.

"It's...it's not much, but if you want me to arrange a way for you to go home, flight tickets, hotel accommodations, whatever, tell me, yeah?"

Lucas looks up at him with what seems like tears shining in his eyes. Jungwoo's never seen him this emotional, and it tugs something in him.

"Really? I mean, I can't really leave any time soon, but you'd really do that?"

Nodding, Jungwoo gives another squeeze. "Even if I'm neck-deep in whatever it is I'm doing, Just tell me, and I'll do it."

Grin on his face, Lucas launches forward to embrace Jungwoo. It punches a laugh out of Jungwoo, who slowly and gently wraps his arms around him.

"Thank you," Lucas murmurs. "Thank you."

He soothes his hand down his back. "No problem, Lucas."

"Yukhei." Lucas pulls back, looking at him straight on. "You can call me Yukhei. It's my real name. I...haven’t heard it in a while."

A smile tugs at Jungwoo's lips. Yukhei. Yeah, he could get used to calling him that.

**Doyoung** **  
** **6:30 am, Lee Residence, UN Village**

There is no Jaehyun to make him tea today.

Maybe he really shouldn’t be surprised about that. Maybe he should be relieved that he’s spared from conversation at this hour.

He opens the kitchen cupboard, looks for his tin of tea. It’s a relatively new one, given in a set from one of J&J café's special promo sets for the holidays. This one’s a berry-infused one, sweet and refreshing and as summery as it gets.

Doyoung roots around for his old mug. A gift from what must be a lifetime ago, whatever the print was on it long gone. He makes himself tea, and sits on one of the barstools at the breakfast nook.

Maybe he kind of misses having someone to make him tea.

Today was a mostly free day. By that, he was just going to input a few things into the calendars and have some dry cleaning picked up, but that’s it. A little much-needed break for everyone.

Which is why he doesn’t look through the pantry for what to prepare for breakfast. He only sits and sips his tea, watching as the home slowly fills with more of the morning sunlight. Not too long from now, he knows the dogs will pad out and want to be petted or let out. It feels like how Sunday mornings used to be for him.

Soon enough, the dogs are up and going around, their nails clacking on the floor. They find Doyoung easily, and he leans down to scratch behind their ears. He greets them a good morning, coming down from the barstool so he can go refill their water bowls. Bean is already by the sliding door that leads out into the garden, whining softly. With a chuckle, Doyoung walks over to open the door and let them roam the garden.

Coming back to the kitchen, he finishes the last of his tea. It doesn't seem like anyone else was going to wake up anytime soon, so he opens the pantry and assesses his options. He hasn't made a breakfast quiche in a while, he could try to do it again today -

The doorbell rings, loud and clear. Doyoung whips his head around, eyebrows furrowing. It's too early for any packages, and he's absolutely sure that there weren't any early-morning appointments for today.

He closes the pantry for the meantime and goes to answer the door. Seeing what's on the other side of the door through the screen isn't making him any less confused.

A few moments later, Johnny is in the house, toeing off his shoes. He looks absolutely put together at this hour, in his dark jeans and his tastefully slouchy shirt, tan trenchcoat over all of that.

"Good morning!" he greets, grin reaching his eyes. "It's not a...bad time right?"

"Uh." Doyoung runs a hand through his hair self-consciously before he's even aware of it. "That would depend on why you're here, exactly."

"Oh!" Johnny holds up the paper bags in his hands, stamped with the logo of their café. "Just here to bring these. I promise I won't stay long."

He watches as Johnny moves to put the bags on the dining table, then starting to take out cups of coffee and boxes of pastries and even those containers of cut-up fruit they serve in the mornings. It's a whole lot of stuff for not a lot of people in the house, but Doyoung knows both he and Jaehyun had a penchant for giving them far too much.

The dogs have come back in, sniffing curiously at the newcomer, Johnny bends down to run his hands through their fur and coo at them. "You really didn't have to," Doyoung says, opening the pastry boxes so that the warmth wasn't too trapped. "I was about to make breakfast."

"It's alright, won't hurt to have something to go with whatever breakfast you're gonna make, right?" He's still crouched down, rather excited about the dogs. "Ah, is this one new? I don't remember this little guy."

Doyoung is already getting plates so that they could eat some of the pastries while they were still warm and toasty. "Yes, he is. That's Bean."

"Hi Bean!" It's a marvel how Johnny's voice rises in pitch at the sight of a puppy. "Super cute. God, I wish I could get a dog too."

"Too busy?" Doyoung asks, setting the table. He had guessed that was the reason, what with Johnny going from state to state or country to country often.

Humming, Johnny gives the dogs one last scritch before standing up. "Yup. I don't think it'd be good to take on a responsibility like that right now. And ah, I'm not staying."

Doyoung gives him a look. "You're here anyways. At least get a cookie in you."

With a chuckle, Johnny concedes. He washes his hands while Doyoung finishes setting the table, putting one box of the croissants on a serving board. With everything going on, he feels like Taeyong will wake soon.

Johnny takes one of the seats gingerly. He chooses from one of the coffees he's brought, popping open the top and sipping at it. Doyoung sits across from him, placing a chocolate croissant onto his plate.

"Are you going to be in a rush today?" Johnny asks, taking a turnover from one of the plates.

Shaking his head, Doyoung takes a bite of the perfectly buttery croissant. "Free day."

"Oh, good! Would you be -"

"Johnny?"

They both turn, and Taeyong's in the hallway, peering at them both through his glasses. His sleep clothes are rumpled, and his faded pink hair is a mess, but he barely seems to mind either of those. He only walks forward, like he's unsure if he should believe that Johnny is really here.

"Good morning, Taeyong! I was just here to bring some stuff from the café." He scrunches his nose when he smiles.

"Ah." Taeyong blinks at him, before settling into his seat at the head of the table. The dogs come up to him, and he absently pets them. "I, uh, wow, okay. We weren't expecting that, but thank you."

"No prob!" Doyoung is genuinely starting to wonder if this guy ever has a day where he's grumbly and irritable.

They eat their breakfast, Johnny's casual conversation helping both Doyoung and Taeyong liven up a little more. He talks about how he's thinking of taking a long holiday and just go where his feet would take him. Taeyong tells him about some recent trips he's had, gives a good handful of suggestions of places to explore and food to eat there. Doyoung gives him a few tips on saving up on airfare, and Johnny looks like this is all genuinely new information to him.

Even though the visit was unexpected, Doyoung can't say that it isn't pleasant. It's easy to relax around Johnny, while at the same time feel like having him here wakes them up even more. Conversation flows easily, and any dead air is easily covered by stuffing a danish into your mouth. It's nearly perfect.

True enough, though, Johnny doesn't stay for very long. He checks the watch on his wrist and says that he should really get going, looking apologetic. Taeyong stands up to walk him to the door, but Johnny insists he's fine. He says goodbye to the dogs, and Doyoung waits until he's done to lead him to the door.

Once Johnny's got his shoes on and is ready to go out, Doyoung thanks him for the food and the coffees. A soft smile tilts the corners of Johnny's lips up.

"I just..." His eyes wander to where the dining table is. Where Taeyong is. "I wanted to see if everything is okay."

Ah. Doyoung had a feeling that Johnny knew more than he was originally letting on. It wouldn't surprise him if Jaehyun had told Johnny about what happened at the party, as well as the mostly distant treatment after that. Or, since Johnny seems quite the perceptive type, Doyoung guesses that he figured it out himself.

"He's okay," Doyoung reassures him, as quiet as he can. "Things are just at a weird point for him right now."

For a long moment, Johnny just looks at the dining table, and then flits his gaze back to Doyoung. "You can come back to the café anytime you want. Both of you are still absolutely welcome any time."

It makes Doyoung smile. Patting the small of Johnny's back, he says, "I'll take note of that. Thank you."

Johnny nods, saying his goodbyes. He's out the door in the next moment, and Doyoung gently closes it behind him.

Back at the table, Taeyong raises his brows curiously at him. There's no actual question, so Doyoung just shakes his head and goes back to his breakfast.

Taeyong is okay, he knows this.

"How many packages do I have to open?"

"On my last count, about 20."

"Wh-why?"

Doyoung hands him the box cutter. "I think I'm gonna have to pull up the proof of you online shopping at the worst hours of the night."

This is what they're going to do for the rest of the day. The boxes had started to collect dust in a storage closet without even being opened, and this was as great a time as any to do exactly that. 

A good number of these were PR packages that they should really get to. The others were most likely late-night online purchases, stuff that Taeyong might not completely recall ordering.

The first one that Taeyong opens is from a local skincare brand that's fairly new. Taeyong has tried some of their products before, just to see if they would work well with him. His main problem for a while has been dryness, and his usual skincare routine needed to be ordered from abroad. It would be nice to have products he could easily get here.

Not too long ago, he had posted that he was trying out this particular brand, and they had reached out to him after the post did numbers. They had sent over their new line focusing specifically on dryness issues, and it would be great if Taeyong tried them and done a review.

As the music producer looks through the products, Doyoung opens another box. This one is a gift from Valentino, who has gotten wind that Taeyong buys bags from them often, and also often does a customization job on them. One of his hobbies, just a way that he has fun whenever he has an hour or two to himself. 

"I think we should clean out the stuff in this house," Taeyong says, hauling a large package towards himself. "I don't think we can keep getting Rubbermaids to shove stuff into."

Doyoung chuckles. "You say that every few months."

"I mean it this time! I mean, I know pretty much all of the stuff is mine, and I know that it really is bordering into way too much for me."

Humming, Doyoung considers this. "We can always donate them, of course. Maybe sell the things that aren't really donatable."

Taeyong nudges him with his socked toes. "You're gonna say something else."

"They matter to you, all that stuff. Sentimental value and all. I don't really encourage hoarding, but you're not exactly hoarding quite yet. It's a lot, yeah, but so much of it holds a place in your heart."

Sighing, Taeyong carefully cuts the tape holding the bubble wrap together. He unwraps it, making sure to put the bubble wrap far from where the dogs could reach.

"They're stuff," he says quietly, almost sadly. "A lot of them weren't made to last very long. I know I hold on to a lot of things, like old books and photo frames and clothes that barely fit anymore. But it's already almost the third month of the year, and I keep feeling like I'm holding on too much to the past and I can't quite move forward."

Doyoung pauses. He looks at the music producer for a long moment.

"This isn't...just about your manga collection, is it?"

It startles a laugh out of Taeyong. He shakes his head, placing the box cutter on the coffee table. A hand passes down over his face.

For the past few days, Taeyong had outwardly looked like he was handling things pretty well. He was making music, he was waking up nice and early like he was energized for the day, he had barely needed Doyoung to brief him on what would happen in meetings. It seemed like he had developed a spring in his step somehow, a well-rested glow high on his cheeks.

But Doyoung knows it's how Taeyong coped. Keeping himself busy, doing what he could to focus, pushing himself to do more. It was a way for him not to overthink things, because then he'd be far too busy to even have a spare thought towards any of that.

"I thought I was over it." A corner of his mouth curls up. "I thought, you know, that I could handle dating again. It's been so long, right? I should...I should be able to do this now. But why can't I?"

Scooting closer the best he can with all the mess between them, Doyoung reaches for him. Taeyong lets him take his hand, at least, lets Doyoung squeeze it.

"There's no set time for getting over it. It was important to you. That doesn't leave you just because time has gone by. Some people can be over it in a week, some may never be over it."

Taeyong pouts. "Are you saying I'll never be over it?"

"I'm saying that you don't have to rush it. Take your time with it. But also, I want you to remember that you don't need to be absolutely, completely over it to allow yourself other things. You can enjoy the presence of others in your life. You can be happy, in your own ways. Maybe not date, you don't have to force yourself into that. If you're ready for it, you can try again."

For a moment, Taeyong's gaze flickers to him. There's an acceptance in his eyes that Doyoung has seen many times before. It's how he takes in the words of others, and he absorbs the sense that they impart.

"Jaehyun..." Doyoung hasn't said his name aloud in a while. It felt like he really shouldn't. But this, he thinks he'll be allowed now. "I don't think he's the type to abandon you because you decided you didn't want this anymore. He'll still welcome you at the café. He'll still be someone who can accompany you to places you want to see. Things are weird right now, yeah, but talking to him, telling him how you honestly feel instead of shutting him out, I think it will do you well, okay?"

Nodding, Taeyong looks down at their hands. "I will. I owe that to the both of us, huh?"

"Yes. Doyoung pats the back of his hand. "Yes you do."

When Taeyong nods and goes back to opening his packages, Doyoung can’t help but look at him for a few moments longer.

He feels like he owes something to them too.

**Jungwoo** **  
** **10:15 pm, Samseong-dong**

Mark is on his second bowl of ramen.

Normally, he wouldn't even allow himself this, especially with how big the servings are at this place, but he's going to make an exception. Jungwoo has already silently sworn that he won't tell anyone, although he's sure that nobody would actually ask.

It's not too long now before the concert that will open the  _ Stronger _ tour. They're having more intense practice sessions and allowed more time for rest, just so that they are at their absolute best by the time of the concert. Everyone's trying to get as much sleep into their bodies as they can, because once the tour starts, they might not get a whole lot of that anymore.

So, ideally, they should be asleep now. They were going to start bright and early the next day, so every hour of sleep they can get in is important.

But Mark had quietly requested for some time away, and Jungwoo would never hesitate to grant it.

They don't really talk, at least while they were finishing up their first bowls. It's the exhaustion maybe, along with the knowledge that neither of them  _ have _ to talk. Their days are filled with quite a lot of that already, they don't need to bring too much of that here right now.

Truthfully, Jungwoo hasn't had the chance to catch up with the idol yet. A good portion of their waking hours are spent either practicing or ironing out other details concerning the concert and tour. If not that, it would just be going through daily human functions like eating. No actual time to sit down and have a normal conversation about something that isn't strictly work.

He wants to ask Mark how he's doing. This was the beginning of yet another tour, and they've barely had rest since their other activities as well as the comeback that was set to release quite soon. Of course, Mark has been doing his best to lead the group, and he's held himself rather well all this time, but that doesn't mean that he is 100% alright. What he's doing isn't easy, and he must feel the effects of it.

Jungwoo worries about him. The struggle with sleep has come back, and even with the relaxing routines that Dr. Moon had recommended, it's still not enough for him to ease back into the pattern that he had already been getting into. Exhaustion is starting to really get to him, then, even if Mark has done his absolute best not to show it.

He can hear Yukhei's words ring in his mind.  _ Somebody’s going to collapse from overexhaustion at some point during all of this.  _ As he looks at Mark, Jungwoo prays to every god he doesn't believe in anymore that that somebody won't be Mark.

Halfway through his second bowl, Mark pauses. He leans back, takes a few deep breaths, looks down at his hands.

"Thank you for coming with me," he says softly, barely heard over the chatter in the restaurant. "We have way too much stuff to do before the day ends and yet, you're here with me."

"Of course." Jungwoo pushes the plate with the gyoza close to Mark. "You know I'll come with you anywhere. Kind of my job."

"I don't think your job description includes all of this."

Well, actually, it does, but Jungwoo thinks he doesn't just mean accompanying him to restaurants. Very Mark of him to thank him for everything, even if it's just him doing his job. The friendship wasn't something he should thank him too much for.

Putting down his chopsticks, Jungwoo takes a moment to look at him. "So. How are you, Mark?"

A chuckle bubbles its way out of the idol. "You sound a little like Dr. Moon." He makes himself a bite of the noodles. "I feel like my body's been put into a blender, frankly."

Jungwoo feels exactly the same. At any given moment these days, he'd honestly appreciate a nice soft place to lie and just pass out in.

Mark eats a spoonful, chewing slowly. He doesn't look Jungwoo in the eye, most likely because he knows exactly how Jungwoo's line of questioning goes.

"Right now, I'm not sure. Can I maybe get back to you on that, hyung?"

Jungwoo feels himself smile. "Of course."

"I do want to ask you something, though."

"Sure."

Putting his chopsticks down, Mark steeples his hands together, gives Jungwoo a look. "Are you and Lucas..." He makes a gesture.

For a bit. Jungwoo waits for him to continue, but Mark doesn't seem to want to. It makes him snort.

"Are we what, Mark?"

He stifles a giggle at the expression Mark does. "You know. Are you...dating? Like, that's fine! I don't mind at all, it's just –"

"We're not dating, Mark."

At this, Mark's eyes widen. Jungwoo has a feeling that if he had food in his mouth in that moment, he may have started choking on it. "I – really?"

"Really."

Pursing his lips, Mark takes his chopsticks again and picks up noodles from his bowl. "I just thought..."

Jungwoo feels a corner of his mouth tilt up. "It's okay. I guess it kinda looks like that, so I don't fault you for thinking it."

The idol nods, chewing thoughtfully. Briefly, he glances out of the window to the streets still buzzing with life at this hour.

"I mean it though. It's fine if you do."

Now, Jungwoo isn't sure about the rules on him dating someone in the company that's not his direct boss. Well, frankly, he's not even sure about this whole dating Yukhei thing.

It's not a bad thing, not in any way. Yukhei is a nice guy, and Jungwoo does enjoy his company. There's something about him that helps Jungwoo unwind even just a little. He'd probably be really nice to date. It's just that he really hasn't considered it.

But it's endearing to see that Mark is as observant as he is, and that he's probably picked up on some of the things that they've been doing together. None of that is  _ suspicious, _ necessarily, but it's apparently enough to warrant some questions.

He makes more green tea for the both of them to fill the momentary silence. Yukhei's one of Mark's best friends, and he obviously matters a lot to the idol. Jungwoo doesn't want to make it seem like he's not interested or anything.

"I know it's fine," he says finally. He places the warm cup of tea in Mark's hands. "Dating isn't on my mind now, though. Sorry to crush your hopes like that."

"Ah, hyung, no, that's fine! You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. It's still your choice."

Jungwoo smiles. He nudges his foot against his under the table. "How about you? Dating anyone that I don't know about?"

Mark easily laughs at that. He's shaking his head, some of his newly-dyed hair peeking out from under his cap. "Hyung, you know pretty much everything about me. I think you'd know if I were dating someone."

Shrugging, Jungwoo pops a dumpling into his mouth. He wonders if Mark has gotten wind of Donghyuck and Jeno. It's not likely that he'd do anything about it if he did know, but it was going to complicate a few things.

He knows Mark would easily prioritize their group over stuff like that, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't hurt, even a bit. The idol had only recently told Jungwoo about how he felt about his fellow member, and he doubts that it has gone away in the time that's passed since then.

And as much as he's curious of how much Mark knows, he wouldn't want to be the one to break it to him if he wasn't aware. One day, Jungwoo might find out the answer.

"What's it like to date, by the way?" Mark asks, a little shyly. Like he doesn't want to admit that he has to ask this sort of question.

Before Jungwoo could even answer, Mark rambles on. "I mean, okay, kinda embarrassing to have to ask you that when I'm over twenty, but I really have no idea."

Jungwoo understands. Mark has been training at the company since he was in his first teenage years, and debuting at a fairly young age probably wouldn't have allowed time for him to do a lot of the things that most teens could have tried. Even now, when he has a little bit more freedom with this sort of thing, it's probably daunting to navigate.

"It's okay to ask that, not everybody has experience with it. But also, fair warning that I don't either."

Mark takes the last gyoza. "Yeah?"

"Mmhmm. I promise I'm not as wise and experienced as you think I might be. You could even ask Ten hyung."

The name makes Mark smile. He relaxes a little, shoulders losing some of the tension that he's been carrying the past few weeks.

"Is it as adorably awkward at the first as they show it?" There's genuine curiosity in his voice, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

Jungwoo shakes his head. "Sometimes, maybe. Most of the time it's just awkward, like you're really figuring out how to be with this person and learning all about them. Even if you date someone you've known for years, you have to figure out how to be with each other like that. It really doesn't come as naturally as people think it would, but also it really depends."

"Is it fun?" Mark finishes the last of his ramen, leaving nothing in the bowl.

Raising his hand, Jungwoo orders matcha ice cream for the both of them, smiling at the waiter that takes his order. "Again, depends. There's a lot of fun to be had in a relationship, but it's not all fun all the time. That's honestly all I can tell you, because the rest is really up for you to discover. Each dating experience is different, you know."

With a nod, Mark settles into his seat, letting his empty dishes be taken away. It's moments like this that make Jungwoo realize just how young Mark is. An adult already, yes, but he hasn't gone through a good amount of the experiences others have had. He's had many harsh realities happen to him, and that's so different from what most others have had.

Jungwoo bites the inside of his cheek. Mark is 22, and he still has so much to learn about the world.

Their ice cream arrives, and Jungwoo lets his first bite melt gently on his tongue. "So. Do you want to date someone?"

Mark takes in a deep breath, eyebrows raised as he stares at his ice cream. "Uh. I don't know, actually. I mean, it's gonna happen someday, but I don't know if it's the right time now."

"That's okay."

They eat their dessert in silence, both of their gazes trained on the city outside the windows. Everything's so alive and buzzing, and they both want to savor their little moment of not being in it all.

Jungwoo almost has to tuck Mark into bed. The idol is exhausted, but it's the type that has him staying up. After some maneuvering, Jungwoo has at least convinced him to lie down and try to sleep.

"You sleep too, hyung," Mark whispered, crinkling his forehead at Jungwoo. It gets a chuckle out of Jungwoo.

"Don't worry about me." He leaves with a gentle pat on Mark's side.

As with most nights, Jungwoo opens his laptop to work on a few more things. It's not healthy, he knows, but he'd rather finish what he can while he still has some willpower left in him for the night. It would definitely make things easier for him in the morning.

He opens up the calendar of activities, updating it the best he can. Some schedules were still unconfirmed or simply a mess, so he makes sure to mark them as still subject to change. Jungwoo's already on the second leg of the concert tour when he sees a notification at the edge of his screen.

**[mark]** **  
** **sleep, hyung**

Jungwoo can't stop the smile that spreads across his face. He's about to type a reply to that when another notification comes.

**[yukhei]** **  
** **mark told me to ask you to sleep** **  
** **pls sleep**

Shaking his head, Jungwoo replies to them both. It's nice to know that they're both looking out for him, even just in this simple way.

**[jungwoo]** **  
** **I will** **  
** **Promise**

A reply comes not too long after.

**[yukhei]** **  
** **i'll help u get the coffee tomorrow**

Yukhei's really the nicest, Jungwoo thinks. He sends a quick thanks, going back to his work. Just a little more, he promises himself. Just so he can have some more hours for himself in the morning.

Once he's done with the calendar and answering a few urgent emails, Jungwoo decides to call it a night. After all, it's not gonna help anyone if he's the zombie of the group.

He tiptoes into Jeno's room, careful not to rouse the sleeping boy. He's frankly too tired to change out of all his clothes, so he only gets his jeans and outer shirt off, crawling under his covers as quietly as he can.

For a while, he watches the moonlight make patterns on the ceiling. Exhaustion is in pretty much every bone in his body, and Jungwoo succumbs to it.

**Doyoung** **  
** **9:00 am, J &J Cafe Seoul**

"Doyoung?"

He winces to himself before turning around, smile plastered on his face. "Jaehyun, hi."

Rather surprisingly, the CEO doesn't even attempt to come close, staying some distance away. Doyoung shouldn't wonder why he's doing it, but it still feels odd.

Tapping his fingertips gently against the cool metal of the tumbler in his hands, Doyoung takes in a breath. He racks his mind for something to say, an excuse maybe, but he comes up blank at the way that one of Jaehyun's dimples shows as he tilts a corner of his mouth up.

"Haven't...seen you in a bit." Jaehyun's got an apron over his clothes, so he's probably helping with the orders today. "Do I get your usual?"

Doyoung's usual at this point is most probably etched into his mind because of how many times he's prepared it for him. Both in the mornings and here, which is quite a lot of times since he started. The pattern on the tumbler is suddenly a lot more interesting to look at right now.

"Uh. No need. I'm really just here to get coffee."

An eyebrow raises and Jaehyun has a slight pause, but then he's walking towards the counter. "Ah. Going to the coffee side now? What would you want?"

Following meekly, Doyoung sticks his hands into his coat pockets. "Three shots of espresso, one brown sugar, no cream."

It's almost imperceptible, but Jaehyun stops in his tracks for the shortest moment. He knows that order anywhere too.

While Jaehyun goes behind the counter to make the coffee, Doyoung lingers by the dessert case. It's not hard to admit that he does miss the pastries here, and he's tried to find a way to get some delivered to the house while making sure neither Jaehyun nor Johnny would be the ones to do it. He'd just much rather not see them at the moment, and he's already drafted a plan for it that he'll carry out one of these days.

"How are you?" Jaehyun asks, because of course he does. Doyoung has stopped replying to his texts, and the CEO has pretty much stopped altogether. He feels guilty about it, but he doesn't anything to say to him anyways.

How  _ is  _ Doyoung? Well, he's had enough time to catch up on a handful of episodes of the drama he's watching, and he's set his alarm back by about half an hour. He's just been going with Taeyong to the studio and some lunch meetings, and on the really free days they take photos for Instagram. Boring, all things considered.

But also, it all feels like things have shifted. Not necessarily in a bad way, just that everything's a little to the left now. Not wrong, but not quite right either.

"Alright." Doyoung offers a tight-lipped smile. "Not super busy right now, so I'm not stressed or anything."

There's that dimple again. "That's good."

Doyoung goes back to looking at the pastries. He must have a look of longing on his face, because he hears Jaehyun ask someone to bag up some donuts.

The coffee is done pretty quickly, and Doyoung steps up to claim it. Once he's face to face with Jaehyun again, he thinks that Jaehyun doesn't want it all to be done just like that.

Busying himself with taping the bag of donuts, Jaehyun doesn't meet his gaze. "If you're not busy... Do you think we could talk? Not now. Just when you're free."

Doyoung takes the coffee in his hand, letting some of its warmth seep into his hand. He knows he should really think about his answer before he says anything, but he also knows that he at least owes the man a conversation.

"Sure." Jaehyun hands over the bag, and he takes it from him. "I'll text you."

It seems like the other man brightens up at that. "Thank you. Have a good morning, Doyoung. Him too."

Pushing the glass door of the café into the early spring chill, Doyoung decides that he should tell Taeyong about that.

His brother got a haircut recently. No more of the curls that Doyoung had seen on him a couple of months back. It's slicked back and neat, and Doyoung doesn't quite remember the last time he's seen his brother look this serious.

That's all broken when Gongmyung gives him his same old grin. "Thought I wouldn't see you until at least Christmas."

"You didn't see me last Christmas."

"Yeah. I was being optimistic that this year would be different."

Dooyung curls his fingers into the softness of his scarf. The lounge he had picked out is toasty in that nice way, and the seats here are plusher than anything he's felt. He's a bit underdressed for this place, but nobody was going to think twice with Taeyong's card anyways. 

Not that it matters. They weren't staying here for very long, hopefully.

Gongmyung takes a sip of his whiskey. "Are you going to spring it on me that you're suddenly gonna have a shotgun wedding?"

"What? No!"

There's a chuckle, and Gongmyung gently places his glass on the table. He laces his fingers together, places them elegantly on his lap. "What is it, Doyoung?"

Before he even deigns to answer, Doyoung drinks his wine. A Cabernet, recommended by the server that usually serves him and Taeyong. It settles in the pit of his stomach, and that's somewhat a grounding force.

"I have... a dilemma."

Raising a brow, his brother leans back into his seat. He regards Doyoung with the look that's equal parts assessing and protective. "It's not...anything with the police again is it?" he says very quietly, looking around if anyone's listening.

Doyoung really should have primed him before this meeting. He curls his fingers into his scarf again, steels himself. He can do this.

"No, nothing like that." He stares at the deep burgundy of the wine. "It's...about someone."

He sees Gongmyung's eyes widen, and then squint in suspicion. "You're gonna need to be more specific on that."

The thing about his relationship with his brother is that it has barely existed for a while now. Doyoung can't share a lot about his job, Gongmyung is often abroad, and there really isn't a lot of opportunities that they can sit down and talk (and Doyoung doesn't have much energy to talk when they do have the time). They've grown distant over time, which was unavoidable really.

So, this was a new development, all things considered. It's not that easy to admit, but Gongmyung was still most likely the one who knew him best. No amount of time apart would truly change that. He knew all of Doyoung's tells, and pretty much everything that Doyoung himself didn't actually know about himself.

Also a little difficult to admit that he's missed talking to his brother, but he's working on that.

"I mean that I have someone in my life right now." That didn't come out the way he planned it to, but at least it came out.

"You don't seem very happy about it."

Doyoung feels like he's 14 again, telling Gongmyung about the teeniest crush he had on their class president. The guy had been their valedictorian, the model student, and Doyoung had wanted to hate him, but that apparently did not happen.

His fingers are twisted together in his lap, so at odds to how his brother's are. "I'm really not."

"Why's that?"

He's thankful that he doesn't mention anything about how proud he is that Doyoung's finally found someone or that he's at least trying. Doyoung has heard enough of that from way too many people, and it doesn't help that it's not in the least bit true.

Looking at the bar on the other side of the room, Doyoung remembers the last time he hung out by a bar.

"He's not for me," he says, and his voice is surprisingly stable.

"Ah." Gongmyung takes another sip of his drink. "Is he really not for you or is that something that you think is true?"

Doyoung blinks at him. "I – He's really not for me. He's – he was dating Taeyong."

A beat of silence, and then, "Was?"

He looks at him straight-on. "Was. Not...officially ended, but I know it's going to go there. It's Taeyong's decision."

His brother knew Taeyong, has met him quite a few times. Of course, Doyoung couldn't go into details, but Gongmyung knows enough. And even with that limited amount of knowledge, he's sure that his brother has pieced a lot of things together.

"It wasn't working?" he asks gently. He motions for a waiter to get him another drink, and he leans forward a bit, eyes boring into Doyoung.

Doyoung drinks more of his wine. "It was."

That's the thing. It was working, far as he could see. No fights, nothing that would even signal that they were having problems. He of all people knew that there's a lot more going on than what most people would be allowed to see, but he genuinely thought everything was going fine. Taeyong was happy, Jaehyun was excited, and it just. Worked. 

Truth be told, he could have looked at their conversations. Taeyong allowed him to, practically gave his phone over to him on most days anyways. So Doyoung saw pretty much everything, any given day.

But this, with them, Doyoung didn't want to intrude. It felt special, sacred almost, and Doyoung didn't want to touch it in the event that he would mess it up somehow. He knows Taeyong would have trusted it to him, but Doyoung let them have it just for themselves. Whatever they said, whatever they did, it was for them and them only to know.

He wonders if things would have been different if he knew more. Would he have helped? Would he have told Taeyong that what was happening wasn't looking all that great? Would he have just let Taeyong make his own decisions in due time?

"And then it just didn't." Gongmyung offers a small smile. It's soft, and it reminds Doyoung of their father. 

"Yes." He gets a refill for his wine glass.

There it is again, that look that he knows means that he's being examined. He doesn't squirm under it, because he hasn't squirmed under anyone's gaze in a long time. A talent really, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the gaze down to his bones.

Gongmyung drinks the rest of his whiskey in one go. "Alright, are you going to tell me now what exactly it is that you feel about this someone in your life?"

Idly, Doyoung traces the patterns of the knit on his scarf. It was a question he had anticipated, and yet he knows he would never actually have a ready answer.

He doesn't know how he feels about him. This has been a fact since the very beginning, when Jaehyun's dimpled smile offered him coffee at a photoshoot. Jung Jaehyun is kind and warm and considerate and perceptive and too smart for his own good and Doyoung has no idea how to even formulate a way to understand how he feels about all that.

"I wish I could tell you, hyung, I really do." Doyoung swirls the liquid in his glass. "I really don't know."

"But there is something, right? It's the only reason you would even be talking about this to me."

Doyoung takes in a breath. "Do you think it's okay? To... feel something towards him?"

Gongmyung's glass clinks softly against the glass of the table. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Now, Doyoung has prided himself in the fact that he can absolutely, 100% have an answer to any question he's asked, even during the times he actually has no idea what the actual answer is. It's how he's survived in this job as long as he has, both doing his absolute best to know everything he can and also impressively lying his way through the stuff he doesn't know about.

But things aren't as easy with Jung Jaehyun.

"It feels like I shouldn't. Like seeing him that way is not something I should be allowed."

His brother chuckles softly, shaking his head. "Doyoung-ah. He's not some sort of cursed relic. You are allowed to look at him and admire him, that's not bad."

Doyoung resists the urge to stick his lip out in a pout. It was a habit he's had whenever he's with his brother, apparently still hasn't outgrown it in forever.

Raising his hands, Gongmyung says, "Look, I'm not saying to just go and make a move on him. Maybe you're not ready for that, and that's fine. Maybe you still don't like the idea of doing that since it's a little too close to home. I know you're gonna have a lot of reasons, Doyoung. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't let yourself feel something for him, whatever that may be. It could be contempt for all I know. But please, do yourself a favor and let yourself feel."

With a nod, Doyoung lets himself breathe. He's right. As scared as he is about this whole thing, what he's been doing is just going to make it worse. He needs to face it, and admit things to himself if he wants to not feel this overwhelming uneasiness.

"I'm gonna need a little more time," he says, because he knows that it's true. This wasn't going to be something he could do overnight, no matter how much Yeri believes in his magic. 

If Gongmyung were a little closer, he would've reached out to squeeze Doyoung's shoulder, like he always used to do. 

"Then take your time. If this guy really has gotten you this distressed, then he should be worth that time. I have no idea who he is, but I trust your tastes at the very least."

That makes Doyoung snort. It feels good, to open up to his brother somehow, and to feel like he has actual advice that he can follow. And, well, it's just nice to be able to talk to Gongmyung again.

"Thank you, hyung."

His brother's smile, especially now, really is like their father's. Doyoung can even see the way their eyes crinkle.

"No problem. Now, I think we should have a late celebration for your birthday, yeah? I think you owe me that much."

Doyoung grins. He orders them another round of drinks, and this too, feels familiar. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos, bookmarks, comments all appreciated! thank you so much for the support for this still ;;;;;;;
> 
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